Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

“I’m literally just doing the very basics so that we have clean clothes”

This is a good summary for me too, Solo. I’m doing the laundry cycles (bar the final putting away step) and keeping us fed but everything else is beyond me at present.

Nice to see you SingToTheSky - I’ve got a new name for this thread but have been on the others. You are achieving so much!

Elleherd and “BlackEyedSusan* inspiring hearing about the work on gardens. I aim to fill my brown bin this week, but it’s tough to keep on top of it and it grows back so fast!

For now the plan is 5 mins spent getting as much into the dishwasher as I can then starting the cycle even if it is not totally full.

My DCs are home! They were amazed at the clear hallway especially. Living room still a mess but much improved and the table (we don’t have a separate dining room) is clear. Feeling rather proud of myself and also exhausted… but wired and wanting to do more! I’m letting the exhaustion win though, going to relax with a book and once tesco has delivered I hope to do very little for the rest of the day.

Singtothesky that sounds like lots of progress and great that the DC noticed and sounds like they were impressed!

managed to put a couple of things on freegle so fingers crossed they will go

Hello to everyone, I haven't posted for a while, had my head in the sand in a way, but I have been busy, my bedroom which had stuff up to the ceiling on one side and halfway on the other is nearly cleared on one side, the side with stuff up to the ceiling, I've been using the giant bins that we have in the flats, thankful that we have four so no one has complained but one neighbour did say that I take out a tremendous amount of stuff which was a bit uncomfortable. I've done well in a way but still feel defeated because a long way to go and think how did this happen, I'm finding post from 2010, I've been unwell for years but just kept on going.

I've been signed off work for 6 weeks, that's how I've managed to sort out stuff, I broke down when speaking to the doctor, I'm on Prozac now, horrible side effects but I caught a cold virus at the same time and cough, don't know how I've got out each day but feel panic if I stay in, life's not much fun at the moment, I'm keeping the bank informed and have put the survey for the new mortgage on hold but everyday feels like the guillotine.

It's one of those big changes in life, my mum keeps ringing and saying mums know when things aren't right but I don't want to share it all as she worries and makes me feel worse by keep asking what I'm going to do, so I keep quiet, I'm meant to be staying for a few days but can't think straight so just keep dehoarding, she is 88 now.

But I'm doing stuff, that's the main thing, dehoarding, still need a miracle and it's incredible isolating but I know you all understand.

@SingToTheSky I can relate to the total overwhelm feeling, you are not alone, horrible feeling.

Arthur I totally understand, especially the bit about keeping quiet! I hate so much when people insist on dragging whatever-it-is out of you, upsetting in the process, then they have no advice whatsoever! Just ask what you're going to do, as if you hadn't thought of asking yourself that question and acting on the answer. The usual problem is you don't know the answer! Grrr.

Just tell the neighbours you inherited stuff a while ago and need to clear out, or you're redecorating throughout so need to be more minimal, or something. If it sounds ordinary and boring they'll stop asking about it.

Congratulations on your clearout Sing

Clutter and Solo keeping up with basics is something at least. Not to be sniffed at, that. Means when you get 5min you don't have to spend it on basics because they're already done

Good luck for your giveaway Hills

Congrats on gardening Elleherd and Susan. Especially the bit about thwarting the youths makeshift seating area Elleherd

No news here, still plodding onwards.

First day of school/college.
Driven well over 85 miles on college/school run for autistic teens.
Done some washing up.
Done a top up shop and put it away.
Done some churning looking for football boots but threw out some stuff from the heap.

Bluesummerbaby, thank you, you have expressed it perfectly, those conversations that go no where and leave you exhausted and don't help. Some people can just talk to anyone, which can be great at the right time but I find it hard unless I feel some connection and that they know deeply about the ups and downs of life, I'm sensitive so can quickly tell if I will get on with someone.

More jumpers with moth holes in situ into the charity bin bag, more stuff to the magic street since the sun is out finally. Have relinquished a pair of lightly worn trainers which I hadn't worn for years but tried out the other day and immediately got foot pain from, out!

Going to be decluttering last year's (Y3) school workbooks, let's be honest once you've looked once and tbf there was nothing scintillating in them, they're just gathering dust hey!

Keep a sample (one page) of his best writing and throw the rest out? Could be photos.

I take them to their dad's and he throws them out!

DD taken to college.
DS taken to school.
That's about it for now.

To be honest the bits with writing are barely legible hoping for improvements this year

Solo you are maintaining, regardless of challenges. Try not to beat yourself up about what you haven't been able to do yet, IME it generally exhausts rather than motivates and helps keep us where we are.

Sameclutternewname The number of times seeking perfection doing something has lead to not doing it here, is epic. 🙃Good luck filing the bin, and yes sometimes it seems to regrow faster than it can be cut back!

Thehillsarealive Hope Freegal was successful.

SingToTheSky Hope you are still reveling in that feeling, you earned it! Good that the children are amazed, and hope you can encourage them in seeing a different way of living, and keep moving forward.

KingArthur that is serious progress to have tackled that much. Well done!
All of us dealing with major amounts of stuff know that we can have done a huge amount and still feel defeated by how much is left. We also know from experience that it's easy to not see our progress and judge ourselves from where we are each day, not where we came from. That is why we list achievements, so we can see our progress here, and also what may be blocking us, when we are failing to see it in our homes. It also helps with feeling less isolated in our battles.
BlueSummerBaby is spot on on about having a relatable friendly retort about 'Oh heavens yes! I'm drowning in so much inherited stuff* total redecoration or similar, to reduce discomfort if feeling commented on or judged. Keep it light.

Blue Keep on plodding, hopefully comfortably. 🙂

Susan well done managing to keep so much together on Dc's first days, and chuck stuff out too.

rokaaroundthechristmastree You sound on a good roll there.

Sort of update: (again!) Last couple of days has seen six sacks of chopped greenery from the jungle, but with one day flat on my back as a result, inbetween. Struggling to get the balance right, and am not getting on with inside beyond maintenance, as have been trying to work out how, with D's stuff still in the way of everything. Hoping to get that changed this weekend with 'big plan' swinging into action.

Extra launderette achieved this morning trying to sort Ds out on that front. (tick)
Later I have to go look at yet another bloody storage unit to try and clear everything into, to try and use to sort out stuff, allowing building work to get started, and be back out of within eight weeks, (which is all I can afford) with enough of it gone by then to disperse the remains into original storage until building works finished, hopefully having managed to clear lots from there too.
I don't know if any of that makes sense to others, but it does to me! 😂

Hi all. Struggled a little the last few days to make any progress or any decent progress, but seem to have done and a little noticable.

I've started using my earbuds and playing music which seems to be quite motivating.

I'm gearing up for a big clothes sort out as I'm unable to find certain clothes recently.

I managed to empty a couple of boxes from the landing today so I can now get into the airing cupboard. I also hung my bedroom curtains (there are still boxes in front so I can’t close them, but at least they are up) and I got rid of the horrible glass lampshade from the hall. I cleared another couple of bags as I could now reach the airing cupboard!

I now need to dispose of the old curtains and lampshade on free cycle or they will just join the clutter…

I am really pleased as last night I did some gentle decluttering in my room and reorganised some of my clothes storage - it had become more of a dumping ground since H moved out as I had more space. Then I did some more this morning!

That’s great, Sing! I did a drawer but it’s something and managed to let go offf (drum roll please) some of the cocktail sticks! Tbh I did throw out some bits of grease proof paper and everything is now sorted in containers rather than a big tangle. Not my best day for letting go of things though!

Well done.

It's hard work getting rid of "useful stuff."

Sorted drawers means you know what you have and won't have to rebuy and add to the problem.

May I join in?

I began dehoarding in early Spring after a painful epiphany. For literally decades I just didn't see the 'stuff' for what it was. It was a really unwelcome awakening but as I gradually work through the heaps and stacks I'm feeling the liberation of more space and an easier to manage and calmer home.

I need to decide which room to tackle next between the living room and my autistic son's bedroom.

DS is back to school tomorrow and it's time for me to recommit to my dehoarding project. I plan to work on it daily for at least 10 hours per week in total. I will work on

• one area that's my main focus to dehoard.
• maintaining previously dehoarded areas and continuing to declutter as I clean and tidy.
• weekly trips to take decluttered items to their next destination (charity shop/dump/clothes bank)

If I do this I will see a difference, our home will improve and no area will get worse.

TalkToTheHand I'm glad your results are becoming noticeable even if it feels a struggle at times. Hope your clothes sort out goes well.

Latenightreader Great progress! Well done. Yes to getting curtains up even if not closable. It's another step forward, and a big yes to the removal of something you don't even like! Don't know if you have them but if Freecycle doesn't do it, we have textile recycling banks here, and there is also one at the dump, along with a re-useable furniture and trappings bay. (annoyingly disability prevent me dropping there, but most can)

Sing I love the term gentle decluttering, it sounds so civilised.🙂Nice to hear you reclaiming your space positively.

Thehillsarealive Getting things organised is part of it all,BlackeyedSusan's spot on on both counts.

Hi and welcome GloomFighterNC🙂Quite a few of us know exactly what you mean by "For literally decades I just didn't see the 'stuff' for what it was" and even having had the epiphany still struggle to always see all of it and or deal with it.
Life gets in the way for many of us but I love that you have a plan to work to, and that you're hoping to do it daily as an active project. I'm looking forward to updates, it helps not to feel alone with it all. (Especially when we aren't making progress!)

(I also have a plan but it's very disorganized and having to constantly change mainly because I'm not working from a stable situation and balancing far too many spinning plates.)

All I've managed here decluttering wise over the last few days is another six sacks of chopped greenery, and a lot of storage company research and visiting. Waiting for tomorrow to find out if I have what I need. Surge pricing is definitely now already in operation across some of the main players.
Picked up some more work which is great for paying for it all and not so great for time to do it all!
About to do on-boarding for new piece of work, and then will figure out exactly what I'm tackling today, after I'm through with it and know what it may add to today/this week.

Yesterday was supposedly a day off. Had to field several testosterone induced phone calls of rutting males. The older one sadly should know better...but he's an ex for a reason. They kept me up til early hours. Sadly I did not respond well to another set of phone calls just as I had started the big job of repacking the under stairs cupboard this afternoon . One autistic shorty meltdown that had been brewing all morning. Holiday suitcases back in under stairs. There's still mums stuff under there. And three or four bags of stuff that requires sorting out. But I need to clear the heap at the end of the kitchen to get a new washing machine and clear out the freezer which has been abandoned for two years. (It'll be easy as it all needs chucking out. ) (Abandoned after mum died . Nearly two years on and I am just beginning to function again)

DD put a massive pile of ds's shorts away today. I probably should have repacked them in his suitcase for next year. We had to drive to Sports Direct for new slides on holiday and picked up more shorts as washing was not getting dry fast and Ds gets through a lot of clothes.

It's taken a month to sort out holiday stuff and I've not quite finished. But I am pleased.

Shouty meltdown . Sadly not short.

Hi all. Got rid of a couple of bags of clothes today and did a little cleaning. Not as much as I would have liked but a little more progress.

Susan These things take their time, well done, including dealing with the dreaded 'rutting males' 😂even if it was at cost.

TalkToTheHand I think that's perfectly respectable progress!

All I've managed is sorting big deep mess at bank out, finally getting an agreement on the storage unit, researching possibly buying boxes, (don't want to but might be smart) and some fixing things that have been in a pile waiting for attention. It all helps towards the goals but...

Well done Talk .

And Sorting out the bank Elle

Not much progress here though I've done a lot of stuff. Not getting worse.

Scrubbed bath mats in the bath after an "incident" took a couple of hours. (Not including the soaking) Mainly on final rinsing.

Done washing at ex's. (It washed while I drove DD an hour plus round trip to college and shopped. )

Been to mum's. Did more on prepping big windows for painting. More wood filler. DD gardened and washed up for me.