Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

Dd has washed up a lot.

We have sorted and filled up the vinegar/soy sauce shelf in the little cupboard.

Emptied a bag, wiped contents,put a lot away. Filled bag up with recycling.

Carried Ds's school bags up to his room for the holiday.

I have stopped falling over every time I bend down so the floor is getting sorted out. Lots of the stuff that I have not been able to reach has been picked up and thrown away.

Washed dd's and my spacers.

No Hoovering until the pots are away.

Wiped a couple of drink bottles and put in an accessible place to use. (I need more disability friendly storage)

Hi all. Struggling here. Haven't done anything for quite a while. Just can't get motivated and don't know where to start. House as worse as when originally started. 😕

Susan yeh it'll get used up but it'll take years to do so, that's the problem. So unless I let go of some (and stop bringing more in) the space won't get clearer. I am gradually letting go of more than what comes in, or at least I was, but I've stalled after having done all the easy wins of stuff that's of literally no use to me. Now everything I have is useful, I like it, it's suitable and in good condition. There's literally no reason to get rid of any of it except that there's too much stuff in this home. And for my brain operating through the filter of hoarding tendencies, that's not a good enough reason. So I'm a bit stumped. I need to figure out some tactics that will allow me to let go of things.

Elleherd yeh we're in the same situation but yours is on a much bigger scale. I'm glad storage units were always my line in the sand. Unless I was going to store gold bars and diamonds, it just wouldn't have ever made financial sense and I've never been a big earner. I can see the allure though. I think of them as the landlocked equivalent of mermaids. I could totally "solve" all my issues with a small storage unit. Except then I'd be paying for a storage unit to store non-valuable items that I couldn't easily get at. So what's the point? My natural frugality won't let me do it! Thankfully. I would have sufficient space in my home though and it wouldn't involve me making any difficult decisions. I can totally see why people initially don't think past this siren call and end up succombing, especially if they have good enough finances to absorb it. I'm nowhere near you otherwise I'd give you a hand. What you need more than anything to start with is manpower.

Thinking ahead, I'm currently looking at the space where the Christmas tree goes. The only place it can go. The place that's presently stacked twice as high as the Christmas tree with general items. Items that also have nowhere else to go. If I can't fix that, there won't be a Christmas tree this year.

As this post is in danger of turning into a bit of a pity party, here's this year's successes so far:
Reconfigured four rooms, emptying out a lot of stuff that shouldn't be there and using things up then not replacing them, to create space and make the rooms look normal, as well as being functional.
Reconfigured three rooms to Tetris things in better and create useable pockets of space to make the rooms more functional.
Sacrificed one room to achieve all this, it was ok but now resembles a storage unit.
Decorated three rooms.
Donated tons of stuff.
Used up quite a bit of stuff.
Bought less stuff than in previous years.
Went full-on minimalist with bedding and whittled it down gradually over a year until there's only two sets per bed.

Ah yes, but it is less bad than if you had done nothing!

Starting options:
Bin bag and pick up rubbish.
Cleaning draining board/sink and washing up.
Pick up 5 things and clean/put away.

Doing some little and achievable sometimes help break the impasse.

@TalkToTheHand123 In agreement with Susan also you have learnt more, and have done this before, so hopefully it will all come together a bit faster.

You know the old adage here is: Motivation follows Action!
Not the other way round. It's horribly true, you have to make yourself start somewhere and build on it to get some momentum going.
Can you put some music on for some energy boosting?
Start anywhere. If it's a disaster zone, then it all needs doing, so where you start isn't ever going to be really wrong if that makes sense.
I'd either go with Susan's suggestions, or consider making one space comfortable to sit in, and your bed comfortable to sleep in if those things aren't already possible.
You aren't the only one contributing to the situation, I don't know if there's any possibility to get the others to do even small bits with you, or if that's harder than just doing it yourself?

@BlueSummerBaby totally agree with your comments on storage units often being a disastrous choice, but there are a variety of reasons why people get sucked into them, and IME it can often be a difficult lesser of evils, rather than a lure that they haven't thought through.
It's often a meant to be temporary solution/answer to a disaster situation, rather than an idea that extra storage rooms would be a good idea IYSWIM.

It started as business needs here and very much paid for itself, (increased profits and business growth) but there was extra space for domestic stuff and it was the hidden start of lots of other reasons, but as it was a 'free' perk of additional business space that paid for itself, I didn't notice some patterns...

Unexpected further disability changed life a great deal and the extent of how much I'd trapped myself came entirely to light when the pandemic happened and the income crashed.
By then many other elements of life turned out to be outside my control too.
My biggest piece of advice to anyone, would be if you do have reasons that makes using storage a lesser evil, and it seems to be going well, don't get comfortable! Sort out whatever, and get out fast before something happens!

As you're saying there is literally no reason to dispose of what you have left, then the questions are, do you have anyone else living there who's affected, and is your ability to to have people over affected, as well as standard ones about are your or neighbors health or safety affected...

You've done really well in getting on top of what was the immediate severity of the problems, getting rid of lots and acquiring less, and the fact you're thinking about what space you will need for a Christmas tree halfway through the year with months to go, and recognizing it is full and no where for that stuff to go, shows a lot of progress even if there's lots more to do.

@BlackeyedSusan Really glad to hear you're now able to bend and reach the floor without it hitting you! It didn't sound at all fun.
Well done to DD for pitching in, as well as you for keeping at it.

Been bowled a googly, stumps and bails scattered across the pitch, sloping off back to the changing rooms, out for a duck.

Did lots of cleaning yesterday. Lots of water going down the sink....

.... and into the bloody cupboard and stuff stored there. Found out about 9pm. Several hours sorting out an emergency plumber. Cleaning up water. Clearing up for the plumber. My living room is full of items I don't want to clean after the plumber. My kitchen is full of not done washing up. And stinks. The floor cupboard and bloody everything needs disinfecting. I went to bed late got up early. 5 hours sleep. Took security to the cash point. Paid security with chicken and other assorted shopping. Dropped him off at his dad's out the way. Don't need shouting at.

The kitchen has been sprayed with antibac. Getting up the oomph to go and methodically clean it.

On the plus side, I had done a lot of work cleaning and tidying during yesterday so there was not such a mess to clean for the plumber coming and fewer things got destroyed by leaking drain water.

Yesterday: lots of dragging stuff out and in of storage units again, and unfortunately bashed my head really badly in the same place, and twice, in the process. But have now got several boxes of someone else's stuff right to the front where I can figure out where/how to dispose of it, as it's effectively abandoned.
Also in the churning process, one double mattress, a balance chair, and a box of metal, as well as a couple of broken down boxes, and a small bag of recycling, all pulled out and now in vehicle ready to go to dump once I can figure out an approved vehicle to transfer them to, and a person to do it with.
But right now, our windows are in the process of going back in, so any dump run can't happen until that's over and done with.
@Solo As I try to start tackling my unit situation, I'm thinking of you and hoping you might just making progress or preparing to.

I've started the big clean up.
Ex has been over to take the stinky drain contaminated bin out.

I'm chucking stuff out as I go. (Empty packets mainly.no emotional attachment!)

Ouch. Hope your head is ok. Well done.

Paintwork around the door hole washed.
Chrome work surface leg. Outside of bin and outside of inner bin.
1 Bottom cupboard front.
Compost bin, lantern and shaver box.
Thrown out lots of empty packets from the bread bin and area. (Aim to keep one or two for dd's lunch fruit but not as many as I had. They are all going because she is not at college for 6 weeks)
Started cleaning the step stool so will can do the top cupboard doors.

Oh no Susan what a nightmare 😱 and how typical it doesn't get discovered until after hours so you get a bigger bill, life is just too much sometimes. Well done making a start on such a daunting prospect.

The things you don't want to clean, does that mean you can get rid maybe? I heard a decluttering question yesterday - hypothetically, if it was covered in shit would you clean it or bin it? If you'd bin it, then you declutter it. Maybe you currently have a real-life demonstration of that question?!

As you're saying there is literally no reason to dispose of what you have left, then the questions are, do you have anyone else living there who's affected, and is your ability to to have people over affected, as well as standard ones about are your or neighbors health or safety affected...

No it doesn't affect anyone else elleherd the rooms that affect others are the ones I sorted out first. The sacrifice room least affects anyone else. Neighbours not affected, health and safety perspective is fine. I'm the only one annoyed by it but my own annoyance and discomfort isn't enough of a reason to get rid of the stuff, which doesn't make a lot of sense even to me, so I don't expect anyone else to understand it. Having people over is a tricky one. I'm very choosy about who I let in anyway. I'm not comfortable with randoms I don't know well, so most socialising is done outside the home. This isn't to do with the hoard but for numerous other reasons.

Sounds like excellent progress at the storage unit. Hope your head is ok! 🤕

Im too tired to catch up on everyone's posts.

"@Solo As I try to start tackling my unit situation, I'm thinking of you and hoping you might just making progress or preparing to."
@Elleherd I am making no progress at all. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know what.
Regarding storage units. That was a massive mistake on my part. I've wasted so much money over the years. It was only supposed to be for 8 weeks. And I'm on minimum wage 20 hours a week. It's not like I've got spare money, because I don't.
I was planning to be packed and ready for my holiday a week in advance instead of still packing the morning i leave, but, I've put off sorting the clothing out... now I've got just one more weekend to deal with it.

I hope you're all okay x

Oh. I mended some underwear. I don't know how Dd does it, but the elasticated parts always end up coming away from the main parts. I refuse to landfill things that can be sewn up and repaired.

Just saw this thread title and had to smile—yep, still here, still fighting the good fight against the piles! Some days are easier, some feel like I’m buried all over again, but progress is progress, right? I cleared out two boxes from the garage this week and actually let them go. That’s a win in my book. Grateful for this space and everyone in it. We really are keeping on.

@Solo I can only say don't wait too long... Hope the packing goes ok, and most of all you get a decent and enjoyable break.

@BlackeyedSusan I swear your post at 12.15 wasn't there when I posted, 😵apparently two minutes later!
Really feel for you discovering what was going on under the sink after a hard days graft! Very aggravating. Well done getting straight on to it and pushing forward regardless and glad to hear the earlier clear up paid off at least.

@BlueSummerBaby Well if you're the only one affected then you absolutely have the right to decide to do what works for you! I can certainly relate to being both annoyed by things yet feel unable to change them.
It's progress but tip of the iceberg unfortunately.

Hi @henryaguilar1756 Progress is indeed progress whatever level we're at. Well done letting the boxes go, definitely a win.

Windows are back in, resulting mess is cleared up.
Zip car near enough the dump to be affordable, eventually secured, and mattress transferred to it's roof and along with other bits, taken down and disposed off.
Bit of tidying up and rationalizing, beyond what the window refitting produced, but that's got to be it t for today. Need to try and get some sleep.

So far: done prep for paid work tomorrow,and 2nd part of Saturday, now back off to big storage units for another big churn, hoping to figure out how to deal with some of the bigger issues that are stopping access in places.
.

Still on the big floor clean. It's getting harder and harder as my legs are getting very sore. Doing a small bit at a time. Got about 1/6th left.

Hoover wire back to grey from black and wound up.
One bucket emptied refilled. Floor cleaned. (Except under bin, and freezer and cooker which all need doing after holiday. Just got to finish a work surface.

Fucking knackered and very sore legs and back.

Need a nap before driving.

Hello can I join please! I’m not sure if I qualify - from an outside perspective and when tidied the house doesn’t look that cluttered. However every drawer cupboard etc, is shoved over full. Trying to get clothes on or off to some of the racks is a workout because they are so tightly packed. People coming round involves frantic tidying/shoving things into rooms and cupboards. Main house isn’t too bad but garage is an absolute state. My partner has a storage unit which needs to be decanted into our full garage at some point. Storage unit has been in use for 3 years. About 6 months ago around half of it made its way here finally - but need to clear before the rest can come. Two very small children (1 and 4), possible neurodivergence, work (albeit part time) and partners very full on job/long hours complicate matters.

I find letting go of some things easy, but really struggle with other categories. I have recently reached full on desperation with the chaos which is making getting rid easier. Just doing the daily jobs, cooking, and looking after the little ones eats so much of the day and I struggle to fit in decluttering. I also have a tendency to bag things to declutter then they end up in the boot until we need the car emptied - then they go into the garage to be unearthed months later. We moved into this house about 9 months ago and I have been so scared to buy more furniture because I know we will fill it! However I am accepting that there are certain things needed to make things more functional - shoe/coat rack, shelves for ornaments, bookcases for the children.

My partner really struggles to get rid of things. Broken things are salvaged because they could be useful or fixed but he is extremely time poor and will never in a month of Sundays get round to it. He also tends to buy lots of equipment for hobbies, but then doesn’t do said hobby due to lack of time and also not being able to find said things. I can’t blame him entirely though, I definitely have my own struggles but it doesn’t help. I decide to let things go then he will fish things out of the bin. (Mine/mutual, I would never throw away his things).

Reached breaking point after coming back from a holiday to a messy house and then having to decant a cars worth of stuff. I’ve been chipping away at the fly lady baby steps and am on day 12. I’ve seen them before but had dismissed them as being too slow/my house being too bad. However having committed to just focusing on them and not everything else that needs to be done I am seeing positive changes. Kitchen has been the tidiest it’s been for years for almost 2 weeks pretty consistently!

Current focuses are

• 2 minutes a day clearing hotspots/piles - working on unpacking a suitcase that’s on the landing currently. I didn’t think 2 minutes was going to make any difference but actually I have managed to clear the whole downstairs hall and all the doom piles on the stairs! Have been clearing anything new in the areas in the evening.
• 5 minutes a day working in my worst room (garage). Again didn’t think this would touch the sides. Still a very very very long way to go but so far 3 boxes that needed to come in to the house and be put away have been. Took one box back with things for the garage today - feels like churning but I tried to make sure they were things that genuinely need to be there not just things I didn’t know what to do with.
• 15 minutes decluttering each day in the current “zone” - master bedroom this week. So far one charity bag that came through the post has been nearly filled. Decluttered my clothes drawers but have to admit I have a huge washing backlog so it’s probably only a quarter of my clothes. My logic was what’s left in the drawers is what I like the least so still worth doing!! Box of hair bits gone through, one sample which had leaked everywhere gone to the bin. Salvaged most of what it has leaked on but got rid of some of the scrappy bits at the bottom - old bobbles clips etc.

To clarify the work achieved above is cumulative - didn’t clear hall and stairs in 2 minutes sadly!! But shows it adds up.

Got our bed stripped and remade too which desperately needed doing. Just restarted a load of washing that had gone musty :(

Need to prep dinner for tonight, take children to the park to burn off energy. Load of washing to fold and try to put away and kitchen needs resetting again. 1 year old currently obsessed with pulling things out of cupboards and throwing on floor. Not ideal with cupboards as full as ours!!!

I have read through this whole thread over the last few days and feel so inspired. Will stop rambling now! Good luck to all of you in chipping away at your respective elephants. Will keep checking in to update and cheer you all on.

Welcome. I am in the extremely stressed holiday packing mode.

Pulled the stuff out from under the stairs.
Managed to chuck away a few things from under there . Eg empty boxes that we keep while a product is new enough to take back and things I obviously don't want any more. Post holiday packing away is the time to do the bulk of that to see if sentimental things are less sentimental.

I'm still cleaning the kitchen and not packing!.

DD is rearranging drying washing to get it dried quicker.

Making progress on the kitchen. We are going to be so late.

@BlackeyedSusan well done on the kitchen! Are you due to leave today?? How much more packing have you got to do? Cheering you on!

Would you mind linking to the fly lady baby steps please?

I think I may have found it. Day one is putting a cup of bleach in your sink for an hour? Firstly bleach is very bad for stainless steel and also very environmentally unfriendly. I am quite surprised at that. Also cleaning round the rim of a sink with a knife?? Also who puts dirty dishes in a bowl under their sink?

Of course @Revelatory link here. Day 1 is the only time she really gives advice re products/how exactly to clean something, as far as I’ve got anyway. I just took it to mean take some time to get the sink really clean and looking nice so went over mine with some pink stuff and then used some window cleaner to make it shiny. I don’t keep dishes under the sink like she suggests either! Definitely no room under my sink. But it has been motivating me to unload the dishwasher first thing so I have a place to put dirty plates throughout the day which is preventing a huge stack of plates. I also stuck a post it note above the sink saying “please keep clear, dishes in dishwasher” to remind me - but has also reminded my partner! Some of it seems a bit strange, I’d say it’s more of a whole life/mindset system than just a cleaning program if that makes sense?? But have attempted it so many times before and has only started working since I stopped jumping ahead and just did the baby steps. It’s the most realistic system I’ve tried - things like the organised mum method are just impossible with the current state of my house!

Customise it to suit you. I take Day One, Shine Your Sink to mean: get the blooming dishes done and clean the darned sink! That's where I stop. I DGAF if it's actually shiny. It's supposed to be something to boost your confidence by just achieving something, a properly clean and shiny sink. And you don't come down to a pile of dirty dishes in the morning. You can use whatever products you like. I use the same washing up liquid that I do the dishes with.

Boppingalong I do FlyLady too, it changed my life. I was already clean but I needed the organizational skills/system of the BabySteps. Took me a year to get them established and not need to keep checking the list. You're off to a good start. You're actually supposed to do nothing more than the BabySteps and the Home blessings reset until you've decluttered enough to properly clean.

Rooting for you Susan 🙏

A tip for anyone who needs it: clean while the kettle boils. The amount of tea I drink it's amazing how much can be achieved.

I had another go at the clothes and filled half a carrier bag for the donation point. I now have two empty boxes and a bed that's covered in clothes. Need to get back to it.