Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

@Solo life is easier now hoarding parent’s house is gone, for a while there I reached peak overwhelm and we all struggled to throw stuff. The last day I just had to stuff my car have been digging myself out ever since. But parent’s was practice (and aversion therapy) I know I want better than that for my home and I need positive habits.

Someone who took items from parent’s is now offering them back so space needs to be found or disposal arranged.

Also, uniform… it is my youngest I’m clearing for and there are many, many items that are years too small. Also, I have boxes with toys in them… so 27 is very understandable here. I am just giving a lot away now though, I can’t sell everything (it’s also amazing how much isn’t good enough to sell when I look at it). Next charity pick up booked for mid April.

Will probably renew ‘Take Your House Back’ course again… there was a really helpful audio one about why decluttering is so hard - and when we’ve lived through financial difficulties, extra hard.

How are you and how have you been doing?

@Solo & @FiniteSagacity Very good to see you both. Hope things are as good as can be and progressing.
Bits of uniform turn up periodically here too. We became a home ed family an awfully long time ago!

I'd hoped to get Ds to help get the temporary floor down for the weekend, get the back room cleared and the lino up, but with perfect timing he turned up last night really properly ill and totally keeled over.

So today's plans got diverted into trying to get fever down, changing bed twice and trying to get fluids and (failing to) get soup in.
Did accounts, and did go and get glass and repair the greenhouse panes that contractor's broke and potted a load of plants dug up for contractors, which is something, but not really the right something.

I have work tomorrow afternoon, so have to pace myself to achieve it, and launderette has to happen in the morning as almost everything not in use, is in storage.

@Elleherd you are amazing, so tenacious and I wish you better times and luck. Life is a series of problems to solve isn’t it!

@FiniteSagacity That's kind. Life certainly feels like a series of problems to solve. I have perhaps optimistic hopes that there is more to it, yet...

Someone who took items from parent’s is now offering them back so space needs to be found or disposal arranged.

Just in case you haven't realised finite, you don't have to accept this. They took the items, if they've changed their mind it's now on them to figure out disposal. You can say no to their offer of returning it to you.

Getting rid of some old furniture here and won't be replacing it. I'm getting to the point I can think about home décor now. I'm not doing ornaments! I'll get rugs for the floor and pictures for the walls. Maybe new bedding too. The place is still cluttered and I don't want to add to that with things that take up space. Flat things don't count 😁

@FiniteSagacity I'm happy for you that your parents' place is sorted. That must be a huge weight off your shoulders. I'd be taking the things back from the person who can't now keep them, too. But try not to. It'll spin your head!
Uniform. I have brand new stuff that was Dds. She's year 13 now and doesn't need it. I will sell it and am sure I'll have a buyer for most of it. Uniforms that can't be bought in a supermarket are expensive.

I'm not doing well. But I have been to so many funerals this past year that I know I must get on with it because I'm not leaving this mess for my kids to sort. They'll just throw it all away - especially my Ds. I don't want that either.
I don't have any energy. And haven't done much at all.
I've just started taking a supplement that I'm really hoping does what others have said it does in reviews.

Last week:
Bath, sink, loo cleaned.
Cleaned cooker top (hob), scraped off years of burnt on whatever from oven glass. No light inside oven, so can't see what's cooking anyway.
Laundry always washed. Never ironed, never put away.
Bedding changed and washed every 7 to 10 days.
Washing up is almost always done after using pots, etc., 99.95% of the time.
Sorted out tool boxes in the under stairs cupboard.

@Elleherd Again, I'm in awe of your resilience and determination. I don't know how you do it. I do hope your Ds is feeling better. There's a flu type thing going around that is absolutely flooring people.

@BlueSummerBaby and to everyone else - Hello!

Nice to see new people. I hope you get something out of these threads.

I hope to be back soon...

@BlueSummerBaby Congratulations on outing old furniture and deciding not to replace it! Well done you.
Flat things don't count. 😂That rather depends on how many flat things.😂You are probably fine at this stage, but I have recently boxed up so much large paper and cards from drawers and racks and rolls, and it is a scarily substantial amount of space and weight once put together.

@Solo sorry to hear about the funerals. They are such a painful reminder of our own mortality as well as everything else.
I'm also determined not to leave this for others to deal with. If it's too much for me, it definitely isn't not going to be to much for them.
Last week sounds like you're getting things moving. Well done.

That 'determination and resilience' isn't naturally there. I have to build it back up again and again, often using the accountability of this thread to get there tbh.
Ds has been totally floored and is off work, just sleeping 90% of the time.
Something is on his side though; just when he desperately needs to be able to just sleep, it has been oddly quiet with very few builders here yesterday and today and he's been able to sleep like a baby.

Sunday and Monday: work happened both days, launderette happened. Lino removal happened, (though did some damage to it) and made it to storage Monday thanks to luckless electrician helping get it in vehicle.
Re-potted rescued plants watered, some papers gone through and shredding of a good proportion, full paper shredder emptied (good half sack there) and half a box of recycling gathered. Sick Ds ministered to.
Hand washing is in progress.

Last couple of days mainly running around sorting somewhat scary overdue business and financial stuff, updating accounts, and prepping for upcoming contract starting today.

Hand washing's dried, tiny bit of dealing with garden done, and did manage to get to storage unit and do a bit of re arranging with a view to making it possible to actually start sorting through stuff there.
Also had to go to aunts to move a load of stuff for her builders access, and turns out take a small chest of drawers away that didn't like being moved, to repair it. Two steps forward, one back here.

Still remarkably few builders around. Probably regret saying that, but had sort of acclimatized to the noise and chaos of being part of a large building site. Now really quiet.
Ds is recovering, but weak and wobbly and has lost the best part of a stone.

But between us we got the temporary floor down tonight, but gave up trying to shift the carpet out of the way with him still unwell and not very keen.
But did get some of the contents out of boxes and passed through, and re - boxed as better than nothing. Should be enough time in the morning to get them into storage before work.
I have work most hours of today and the weekend, so it was do as many things as could while possible, but now hurting too much to sleep. Catch 22.

Yay! Solo!

Not sleeping well.
Had nightmares
Worried about the stuff I'm not getting done
Faffing about on my phone
Ds getting upset gone midnight and then I'm not able to sleep.

Yesterday I wiped down the tiny bit of work surface next to the draining board, the draining board and washed up and put some stuff away. Was too tired to do much more due to lack of sleep .

Off to the GP now. Taking washing to ex's on the way.

Hi all. Cleaned window sills in bedrooms. Very embarrased to say they were filthy, but at least clean now. Sorted a few bags of clothes in small bedroom and found more of my clothes so have this to sort now. House generally getting tidyer albeit slowly.

Got my long weekend (4 days) work, launderette and a small amount on garden done, along with a bit more for recycling.

But now in total chaos here.
Main contractors have dropped out of building works.
Major works not restarting for anything between 1 and 4 months.
Floor reinstated, windows left boarded, big pile of rubbish from other flats left outside back door, and someone's smashed vehicles passenger mirror.
Removal co picked up from storage unit and brought everything back here this morning, but they've actually been total hero's.
I'm exhausted and off to work this afternoon, having had to apologize profusely for this morning and promise to make up missed time. Catch up later.

Oh wow, @Elleherd that sounds bizarre… hope you can process whatever this means for you.

Not much progress on the flat.
I do have new reading glasses (visit to opticians)
I will have a new driving licence. (Walked to town)
I have more food and a tetrised fridge.
Kid has had their going into school on day off treat.

I have an incredibly sore body after walking and supermarket shopping . I had a couple of hours sleep til kiddo got home. Hopefully I will be able to get back to sleep again.

Offs. Ds has had to help me up stairs. My pelvis is v sore.

I forgot to take my meds yesterday so got bad reflux too.

Oh well tomorrow is another day and things should be easier.

@BlackeyedSusan Well done getting things organized. Ouch! This is going to sound dumb, but it's a mistake I frequently make: are you remembering to stretch before moving when you've done things beyond the norm?
I frequently pitch myself into hard additional activity then stop, and later am surprised why I can't just do a normal thing like get to bed because I've seized up or things have displaced. Hope today's a better day.

@TalkToTheHand123 Well done, what state the window sills where in only matters in terms of re doing them sooner, having done them is the big thing. Glad to hear you can see that things are getting tidier.

@Itsnotwhatitseemslike I can't actually figure out what any of it means to process it at the moment! It just feels very out of control tbh.

Yesterday: medical procedure in the morning, later more hand washing done, managed to get on top of a load of paperwork and phone calls that needed to happen, and a load of empty boxes to another of the storage units.

The first row about maybe not opening up boxes and getting everything out, has happened already. I over reacted, and then conceded over resetting up as a home over the Easter weekend, partly as an apology, and to keep the peace. They're right, it could easily be autumn before contractors need us cleared again, and we're not living any sort of normal lives waiting with it all packed up.

Within a few of hours of starting that, I got a call from the storage company that we had to move stuff into several small units after the big one flooded.
I was hoping to take advantage of some of the extra space as a temporary answer to what's happened with builders, but it seems not.

They need us to move all the small units back into the repaired unit this weekend, but have shortened hours. Bad timing, but they are in financial problems from it all, so it feels like not much I can do but oblige,if we don't want to end up with even bigger problems.

Feeling very overwhelmed but up early to try and make multiple things happen over this Easter weekend.
Happy Easter to all and hope whatever plans you have, either family time or getting on top of it all, work out.

@Elleherd what are they playing at..?! At Easter, too. That’s really unfair.

We got some new garden furniture - yay! Storm wrecked our perfectly nice set. After finally getting the cardboard boxes (huge) away in the recycling the next thing is to find a place to store the massive outdoor cushions when they’re not in use… our garage is soooo chock full it is oppressive so although we do have shelves there’s just no room at all. DH’s idea idea to just pile them on the floor indoors … which looks terrible of course! So I’m not liking that.

My other current issue is my teen trying to swipe everything I declutter for their “den”… which would be fine if they’d actually take it but they forget and then it just lies around for ages. how does one get rid of an old number plate, by the way? Feels wrong just to chuck into the tip skip but…?

On the plus side have been making use of clothes recycling bins and said teen has a good going Vinted business so that’s teaching him something, I guess!

@TalkToTheHand123 I like to see a difference when I clean ;-)

Thanks Elle.

I'm not sure why yesterday was so bad. Maybe it was supermarket on top of walking to town.

Had to fetch dd's EpiPen from the supermarket pharmacy so went round and picked a few bits up.

Still sore today but not as bad as yesterday. Not getting much done today.

@BlackeyedSusan sounds tough - hope you get a break for Easter

Welcome back @Solo, lovely to hear from you again <waves> but sorry to hear about all the funerals though. Must admit that I never clean my oven - well the cooker top I do, but inside - nope. We barely use it these days, use the air fryer for almost everything, the cooker's probably only been used a handful of times since I paid someone to clean it professionally and that was two years ago.

@FiniteSagacity I've just done another round of clothes recycling at school, I also use our local BHF - I do pass on what clothes I can but the DC trash so many of theirs, I'm fighting a losing battle!

Our garden furniture has been outside over winter @Itsnotwhatitseemslike - combination of me never getting round to tidying the garden (the house on its own is more than enough to keep me busy) and DP sitting on his bum 90% of the time he's at home - hoping the cushions can be cleaned...

Coincidentally I scraped all the mould off cleaned our window sills today @TalkToTheHand123! We have wooden blinds in some rooms though which were DP's choice, and which I absolutely loathe - I just refuse to clean them as I would so much rather have curtains.

@BlackeyedSusan sending you best wishes, I do hope you feel better soon and that everything becomes more manageable

for you too @Elleherd, it sounds like your builders are an absolute nightmare! As for the mess at the storage place, what a pain, I'm sure that took time you didn't have to sort everything out. I hope your DS is feeling better now?

Our tiler finally had to be evicted by DP after taking eleven days to do a job which should have been two days, three at the max - and he hadn't even finished he charged us for extras we didn't need, made an absolute mess (I'm still cleaning up dust and grime) and didn't put bits back that he was supposed to... but we were so desperate to have the kitchen back by then, DP just told him he had to finish up and go. I'm feeling absolutely rotten at the moment, not sure if it's hayfever or a cold, but I'm so bunged up and can't sleep properly; I could really have done with coming back to a kitchen that was all finished, but nooooo, had to throw out loads of food we hadn't been able to use due to lack of access to the kitchen and buy more. What a waste!

Hope Easter was what you all needed it to be, a rest, change of scene or productive! Reading the thread I know some people are still having a really challenging time. I though this clip from woman’s hour was gently encouraging for those of us who don’t want to be minimalist but want more functional soul restoring space www.bbc.co.uk/news

I've got to sort out a heating engineer for mum's. Not happy. I really don't need extra. First task is finding my way into rated people account as I've lost my password.

I mopped the hallway yesterday which was a challenge as quite a bit of clutter. There are dry paint drops on the laminate flooring which I don't know how to remove.