Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight.

[Solo]

We are a group of likeminded householders who are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine is), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (me too) that means sorting out our households is challenging to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.

Encouragement and support abound here in our band of clutterbugs. We never ever criticise anyone! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult to achieve.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganization and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises. If you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement

Some helpful links. They aren't for everyone, but have a look if you fancy:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

And a LINK-#7

I'm not sure if The Flylady link is working, but if not, you know what to search for.

Welcome to thread #8 of Hoarders Anonymous. Thread #8. We Are Keeping On Keeping On. Fighting The Cluttered Fight (and winning, one small step at a time).

I'd put a camera up and record the dog. I'm waiting for my anti dog barking devices to arrive. Taking ages!

Made a little inroads in the middle bedroom. Have set up the new printer finally so need to dispose of the old two as well as all the other items. Hopefully make some progress again tomorrow. I'm trying to take it a day at a time at the moment as have been feeling a little frustrated with it all recently.

TalkToTheHand123 No point in recording it, no one cares, there are much more serious issues with them. They broke my door trying to get in and we got nowhere despite them actually admitting they did it. Police referred us back to landlord. Dog has already ripped one repair off fence and was happily playing with the remains which I have photo's off, but no one to show them to.
The landlord gets additional premiums for taking on evicted anti social tenants, and is using them to try and clear out the longer term self repair tenants to make way for more 'premium' tenants, then house them elsewhere and sell up buildings they've let their part of, go. Part of why we have so many issues with builders. We've done our side, they haven't done theirs. The only way we win is putting up with stuff, keeping heads down, fortifications, and careful persistence as laws change towards our favor.
Well done with the bedroom inroads, and hope you've managed to get old printer etc out.Yes it does get frustrating.

Update: Things went a bit awry here as couldn't get help and tried to do things without, resulting in a much bigger collapsed shed issue and and some injury.
But, I have managed to do an awful lot of clearing up the area around around it, and everything that I have so far managed to extract. (though not what I should have been doing - but not that many dry spells in the offing, and something is better than nothing)
Two sacks of stuff and a small amount of greenery gone.
Lost six hours of two days trying to get through to builders after they put a card through the door to say they'd turned up (without an appointment) but have at least got an agreement that manager will speak to me soon about making one! Aunt upset as didn't get to her over the weekend after hurting myself, but I'm not sure if it's because she needed something or has just got used to weekly visits.
Hoping to have assistance with shed this afternoon and get further on and back to packing up if at all possible.

Elleherd
a longshot because -
IDK if it works on dogs
It obviously costs and IDK how much
It washes off gradually with rain

But there's a substance you can get for painting on horses rugs (horse version of a dog coat), field gate fastening, top fence rail etc to stop them damaging these things by playing tag/bullying, chomping when bored/hungry or letting themselves out. It tastes foul but is harmless and presumably non-sticky/colourless otherwise it wouldn't be suitable for rugs. If you can somehow get it onto the dogs side of the fence it might help.

Do you have a plan for your aunt's situation Elleherd? I mean from the perspective of at some point realising/admitting you're trying to bail out the sinking Titanic using only a small teacup. Maybe you're not at that point yet, obviously I don't know the ins and outs of your lives (and you don't have to feel you should explain, I don't want to take your time and energy that way). If you haven't already got a line in the sand for stopping though, where you know you'll have reached tipping point, I'd urge you to consider where that should be, because otherwise I'm concerned you'll keep going forever and the line in the sand will end up being your permanent-further-disablement/death.

Motion action sprinkler?

I had a friend over today as I thought the house was in a visitable state, but aparantly not.

I have a few bags of clothes which I keep meaning to take to recycling and a few boxes of chargers which I need to sort out as they have been mixed by mistake and a bit of other clutter, but apart from that I didn't think it was too bad. She looked horified 😧. Oh well, I'll just have to keep at it. 🫤

@TalkToTheHand123 I wanted to be your friend when you said “Have set up the new printer finally so need to dispose of the old two as well as all the other items.” As I ahem, have more than one printer in my house.

I’m sorry the friend who came over made you feel judged. They would faint at the sight of my house and who knows if they saw hoarding parent’s house - I’ve had to suck up a lot of guilt and shame with the various professionals and potential buyers there. But without exception, people tell me they’ve seen worse (which is very hard to believe!) and that they see it all the time - which makes me wonder if tidy people are the exception!

FiniteSagacity it's one of those media lies I think. Minimalism is everywhere, except in the homes of everyone I've ever known!
Anyone with DC at home has a place that resembles some kind of shit tip unless they've got a cleaner. It's not necessarily dirty or hoarded, but stuff everywhere, with a piled-up-here-and-there and pushed-to-the-sides-of-rooms type of vibe going on. Plus endless laundry draped drying all over.
People with pets rarely clean enough, so there's hair all over the place and paw prints on hard floors etc. And pet paraphernalia cluttering up rooms that aren't really big enough to take it without some of the furniture being removed first, which of course nobody ever does.
Older people approaching retirement+ tend to hang onto everything just in case. Or they'll deal-with-it-later but never do.
So yeh cluttered homes is the norm I reckon.
With house sellers seeing plenty of hoarded homes people have inherited/left to go into care, and the family can't face dehoarding or there aren't any family.

I had some frames languishing in a pile since forever so I framed some pictures today, but of course I can't find a spare piece of wall to put them on. IDK if this counts as any kind of a win or not.

@BlueSummerBaby wise words! I’ve seen houses a lot better than mine but there does always seem to be a factor that means the person has more time/a cleaner etc.

Putting the pictures in frames is progress - now you can see them in the frames and decide if the frames deserve a place and get to stay. I fail at drilling/putting a nail or tack in the wall but I’ve been very impressed by a command hook I stuck to the wall for my calendar (which has a pocket I fill up!) which is still going strong after years.

Over the last couple of years I've had to inspect a fair few properties regularly. Some are immaculate. Some are quite messy and some have been utter rank.

There was one who had a cupboard full from floor to ceiling with clothes and so many clothes on her bed, she sleeps on the couch.

Good to hear everyone’s progress in the face of really tough situations. I’m doing small diy and cleaning jobs. Currently quite enjoying the baking soda on the carpet trick as I quite like a job that involves just sprinkling stuff around then hoovering it up later, not much precision or elbow grease required!

I don't know what is going on here. This is something (below) that I must've written 5 or 6 weeks ago, but I just found it still in the post area ready to be posted. I'll post it now, but I really am flummoxed over why thus is occurring.

Laundry done.
Bath cleaned.
Washing up half done. Dd left the breakfast bowl to go hard so that's soaking.
Vacuumed part of bedroom to try to tackle fleas. I'm so angry with Dd for that particular problem.
Not unpacked holiday clothes yet. The dirty stuff has been dealt with already as I keep those separate as they are worn and dirtied.

I still don't know where to start in here. It just seems to be getting worse instead of better.

@Elleherd thanks for that link. Some reviews are poor so not sure about it yet.

So you see, I am replying/posting. They are just not posting!

Reading about how people actually live... I work for an EA. All sorts of inspection/maintenance photos wind up here, with all kinds of tutting and disgusted sounds coming from colleagues. From clothes hoarders, to people using their en suite shower as a toy cupboard. Cockroaches and mice everywhere. There are also immaculate homes. Beautifully kept homes.
I often think to myself that colleagues would absolutely throw a fit if they knew how my place is.

Today, I'm not sure what I will do. I've been unwell for a few days having caught a cold from Dd, but I think my throat is better than it was last night.

This week I've done nothing apart from our evening meals and washing up. I didn't wash up last night as I felt so unwell, and just wanted to sleep so, I'm going to be doing that in a minute and aiming to clean the cookertop. Laundry to get on too.
Right! I'm pressing 'post' now!!

And you are all doing really well. Elleherd you do so much. I'm really in awe of you. Please take care of yourself, though. You can't do anything from a hospital bed.

Keep on keeping on, everyone. 💐

Hi all. After a few days of not doing much tidying and beginning to feel anxious of the lack of progress, I've managed to do a washload and tidied a corner of the living room. Quite chuffed with this room now, even though my friend may not agree!

One room at a time does seem to be the way to go at the moment for me, although anyway that works is good.

Thehillsarealive Well done with the DIY and cleaning jobs. Sounds like lots of exposed carpet which is always a good start.🙂

TalkToTheHand Thanks for the idea but suspect beast would consider it an invitation to play!
Well done! Your friend should maybe learn a poker face and remember she's coming to see you.

Finite IMO there's such a huge range of how people keep their homes, much of it related to family size, home size, income size, time, pets, cleaners, SN's, disability, let alone HD. The first four make such a difference as a starting point to the rest.

BlueSummerBaby Thank you for the horse anti chew info, if cheap and cheerful idea of trying to apply chilli pepper doesn't work, definitely the next try.

...realising/admitting you're trying to bail out the sinking Titanic using only a small teacup. I'm afraid that's descriptive of the whole situation rather than just aunt.
Part of the reason for documenting here is to be able to see the patterns going on, as the constant firefighting makes everything merge into one.
Basic plan is to try and keep her comfortable enough in her home as she hated care and its restrictions so much, and without being horrible, hope given her age, nature spares any awful decisions.
But, your timing in asking that has made me laugh if a little hollowly.

Her neighbor had a fire yesterday, and she's fine but there's smoke damage. Social services put her into B&B emergency accommodation for the weekend as she totally refused a temporary place in a care home.
Today has been an emergency decanting of half her flat for builders access, into part of the storage unit that I've got for my own decant!

Solo I also had difficulties with posts also and was left scratching my head.
I agree that there's little you can do from hospital or worse. But I have to say don't be in awe, I'm afraid the amount I do is in direct relation to the size of this family and it's issues, and the size of the hoarding issue. There is so much I have to manage to do, to get (and leave) things on a even keel before I run out of the ability. It's supping with the devil and hoping you can make the spoon handle longer.
I know two social workers, a teacher who visits new pupils homes, an H/A estates officer, and a professional declutterer all struggling with HD, who are in a similar position to you, with others commenting on photo evidence that they
Hope you had good luck with catching up a bit today. I have a nasty feeling I've caught the same hefty cold from Ds!

Update - Lot's more done out back, many pots emptied, bulbs retrieved, a set of shelves retrieved through remains of shed wall, but shed itself still half down. Bottom of shelves totally chewed, solved by cutting down to shorter ones!

Builders project manager came and I agreed on specific parts of flat to be entirely empty by Monday so groups of floorboards can be removed for access to under building, and surveyor can have a better look, prior to builders coming in, so an actual starting date soon. Packed up more stuff, which yielded a sack of stuff and a carrier bag of recyclables ready to go.
Then had to drop everything and lost most of Friday and today to aunts thanks to fire in neighbors flat.
Launderette done, and her curtains from a room affected by smoke, soaked, bleached, washed and dried, and affected window and frames washed. Put some of her stuff into boxes to clean later, (when I've sorted my immediate problems out!) but too tired to take it to unit. Tomorrow's another day but also have an afternoon of paid work to fit in to everything.

I have been going through another extra busy time in work that unfortunately coincided with school/SEN admin and meetings. To top it off I’ve picked up a horrid virus and tried to work through it which is prolonging my recovery. I am beginning to feel a bit better now although it feels like no end in sight with the workload. There will be a break from work coming at half term (though it is unlikely to be restful or productive!).

Looking at things objectively, I always complain about work being really busy. The fact of the matter is the work load is too high for the number of staff and it is not going to get better.

My house is still depressing and I am making no progress with de-junking. Dishes & laundry are ok but we’re eating more convenience /easy meals than usual. I need to clear some time to batch cook nutritious meals for the freezer.

I write almost identical updates each time

Elleherd I don’t know how you do it .You are an incredible person keeping all these plates spinning not just for yourself but your wider family. please do take care of yourself.

My house has quite a collection of printers too (and vacuum cleaners, which take up even more space )

Well done on your progress TalkToTheHand123

Solo - what a frustrating posting issue!! Hope you feel better soon.

Good luck all.

Sameclutternewname Hope you and Solo get better soon.

It is very very hard to make inroads when you are working hard and having to carry more load than workers should, and carrying and dealing with school/SEN stuff and family. It stopped me totally when I was in the thick of it. The most I could do was keep it clean and keep coping as best I could.

I think most of us, especially with Dc's/older relatives, are stuck in that loop for long periods of time.

Being able to identify what exactly is taking all our time and energy is what allows us, if not to make changes, at least be able to plan for when we can.

This is my 'when' and how I'm getting anywhere now (and I do worry that it's currently mainly just churning on an industrial scale) is a long slow haul forwards inch by inch then at the beginning of this year when everyone was planning new starts, accepting the best I could do was work at life changes that would allow me time to really get going in the second half of the year. I've been following that plan, though unfortunately it's all running three months behind -with financial consequences.

Printers, I think there may be one extra one in storage, but hoovers... oh dear!
I'm afraid it's one of the deeply addicted to categories, along with bleach, cleaning stuff etc... Two in the house but embarrassing truth is: at least another five and quite possibly another two/ three on top, in units!😳One was the only luxury item I owned, for many years, - a Kirby! I used to polish it!😒

Freecycle's going to get busy when I get to them.

Hi all. Managed to clear half the kitchen table (breakfast bar) and a few bags underneath. A couple of bags in the living room too. Mostly paperwork in both areas. Spent about a couple of hours doung this which is a record for me! I usually last 30-40mins.

Clearing the hall, kitchen benches and bedrooms are the main areas of horror which remain, as well as the loft and shed.

Target set is xmas time to be content with it all.

@Elleherd I remember the Kirby, a salesman came! We didn’t end up with a Kirby but there were eight vacuum cleaners in hoarding parent’s house. It was hard to tell which accessories were for which vacuum cleaner. It has been thought provoking for me and I’m slightly proud to have reduced my house down to two, handheld and my own luxury (but 15 years old now) Miele.

Printers definitely need to be cleared out though!

Iron the blanket regularly to kill the larva?

3x week driving 85+ miles. (Did an extra 6 today to get one kid home from school plus more dropping off at two different activities)

Still catching up with the thread.
Friday spent two hours getting dog shit off shoes/bike/uniform/bike kit
Saturday was day off once kid gone swimming and some washing up.
Sunday washingx3 and washing up

Monday:
Awake6.30 to start waking kid
Kid up, clothes, breakfast, chivied driven to school.
Kid driven to college (
Drove extra new route to find a supermarket and shopping.
Drove home.(1.5 hours driving)
Pick up washing from ex's house
Drive home
Sort out car boot. Leave some stuff in garage.
Carry shopping/washing up two flights of stairs
Put some shopping away
Top up dinner money account
Lunch (less than an hour)
Drive two1/4 hours(kid from school, and kid from college)
Drive to 2activities.

Home.
Wash up, put some away.
Make kid noodles as he was brought home tea-less.
Need to take him his pudding yet ..

Clocking off 16 +hours after clocked on.

TalkToTheHand Congratulations and well done. Good to hear de-cluttering muscles getting exercised and rewarding you back. Hope your 'contentment with it by Christmas' is comfortably achieved.

Finite The Kirby was totally out of my reach financially, but the salesman offered me his used demo model at a discount, and I fell for it, taking on extra work and saving so hard to get 'the only cleaner that removed hidden dirt!' (It came with 'free time share overseas holiday home' vouchers. I didn't fall for that one at least; holidays were also out of reach financially that time, thankfully)

Opposite situation with accessories here; every item is color coded to which body it belongs to as well as which other bodies it is compatible with. Somewhat obsessively.

The two at home are a wet and dry and a 25yr+ Miele that I inherited along with other barely used cleaning products, from lady with extreme house that I sorted out for her.
This thread has made me decide they, a two motored Henry, and the Kirby, might survive the first cull, (four is still three to many though!) but the rest must go as soon as I get to them, rather than the vague 'I have more than I need must get rid of some' I had before this conversation..

BlackeyedSusan The loop I was talking about well illustrated. Sorry it's really hard going and sounds like very broken up days on top. Dog poo having to be cleaned of everything is a total killer!
I'm also doing stupidly long days trying to make it all work out. It isn't sustainable long term, and as everyone else has said to me on here: be careful.

Didn't get as much out as I needed or wanted but did get everything sorted so the access to floorboards surveyor wanted was available. Stressed but feeling in control.
Then they didn't turn up! Really infuriating, as I could have spent the afternoon getting more out instead of waiting for them, not wanting to untidy by continuing to pack up. All I could do was leave messages.

Aunt's been stashed in B&B for the week. It just isn't going to be possible for her to go back until things have been sorted out and I didn't have enough time and get my own place ready for surveyors. Hoping her neighbors insurance company may be the answer to some of it. Their flat is destroyed and communal corridors damaged, as well as aunts flat.
Did managed to get (my spare) curtains up at aunts to stop passers by gawping (quicker than ironing cleaned ones after all that!) and her stuff I packed up, down to storage, and a bit of it cleaned up.
Some idiot smashed my vehicle mirror, managed to get hold of another one earlier, replacing it's been the last job of the night. (or at this rate first one of the morning!)