The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

Another week and a half has ticked by!
I’ve caught up with everyone’s progress here, but not that much else.

FiniteSagacity Well done with your progress, sorry you’re in the situation with parents. Whether learnt behavior or genetic, it does run in families.

Literaturemakeslifebetter thank you for helping with the video. All resources appreciated.

Nanalisa60 Good to hear about helping your friend get sorted.

TalkToTheHand Well done with the dishes and stairs. Yes, something does always come up!

Miaowse It was more desperation at having lost the weekend to hospital than anything. Your 5 and 20 min ‘hits’ sound positive.

Susan Total sympathy over contractors! Hope they’ve fixed it all. All those ‘random’ tasks need doing and yes they take time, often more than bigger one’s.

BlueSummerBaby Similar disposal issues. I’ve considered putting things out in different places, but it means from a vehicle, and I’m concerned someone will report me as dumping!

JFDIYOLO Sympathies regarding stuff that doesn’t actually get used or enjoyed, demanding space. I have lots like this, both mine and other people’s, though I am trying to work through mine, but unfortunately addressing everything much later than I should have.

Things not going well here. So much is wrong and so many issues and I just don’t seem to be able to get on top of anything currently.

Everything’s ground to a halt here after contractors came back and dismantled more, so more’s in storage or piled up to accommodate it, only to have then vanish again. At my wits end, but landlord expects me to just manage accommodating it all.

Aunt’s has also come to a halt while trying to work out where water’s still getting in. It’s set everything back. She’s inevitably upset, feeling trapped and wanting lots of reassurance, understandable, but not helping time wise.

Storage unit suffered a flood and we’ve had to split up a unit and move lots across others for safety, causing eroded time, additional units and chaos.

With too much overloading us, I said the one thing that could wait was getting the Christmas tree down. So leaving it to Candlemas was pushing it but...
It heard me, as it’s been amazingly perky, then Friday it’s branches suddenly decided to start significantly drooping, making it no longer a happy if overdue sight, as well as requiring more time to safely remove vintage ornaments.

So I’d planned out Candlemas like a military operation after getting Dc to take me to the bank first thing to sort out urgent situation. Get to the bank to discover closed for renovation with nothing on the website to warn! Dc got stressed leading to disaster with his car. So the day became recovery and parts sourcing operation. Meantime my vehicle that should have been scrapped already, still hasn’t been sorted out and going to attract trouble any day.

Am now resigned to having to leave the tree ‘till midweek, today has to go to vehicles, launderette, and work required for Monday (double for Tues!)

Slightly better news is the few things that have gone in the process of moving things around:
5 wire shelves, and one greenhouse shelf,
Umbrella spokes!
Shower head and pipe,
Medium sized mirror
Managed to offload an unneeded nice wall sculpture on an admirer.

Jeez Elleherd that's a lot to deal with. Well done for getting anything decluttered at all. And for keeping your sanity amongst all the chaos. The situation with the storage units was the last thing you needed.

I bought a thing to replace a thing. Then the original thing decided it was going to continue working after all. So now I have a new thing that I don't need yet, but could at any moment. I've checked it's working and identified a space to store it in. Anyone else would probably return it, but I never return anything ever. It's a fault I have, nobody's perfect.

Feel like I'm "not allowed" (by my subconscious) to buy anything, which is impossible. We live in a consumer society and there's stuff, and ads for stuff, everywhere. Some people have endless money to burn and shop for a hobby, yet they don't have hoarder homes. They're just better at decluttering aren't they? And maybe not bothered by being wasteful? Beginning to realise I can't solve this by aiming to never bring anything in, I need to get stuff out too.

I've replaced a lot of things recently. Mostly practical things that had got tatty - handbag, mop, some kitchen utensils, dustpan and brush. This time I chose things that were not only useful but were much prettier than the old versions, and in a uniform natural wood / cream / grey colour scheme - tho the Powermop is a statement purple!

And I took great pleasure in discarding the old ones - taking a photo and putting it in a folder called 'Old out' in my phone really helps.

Managed to fill 3 binbags in middle bedroom and a bedroom drawer today!

BlueSummerBaby Thankyou, but not at all sure I have kept my sanity!
They're just better at decluttering aren't they? And maybe not bothered by being wasteful? Beginning to realise I can't solve this by aiming to never bring anything in, I need to get stuff out too.
Yes, yes and yes, basically.

So interesting you find that keeping pics of things that have gone out (as opposed to things you don't want to forget) helps you.
For me, the aim is not to be ‘haunted’ by them! (The armchair psychologist in me suspects it’s linked to repeated loss of people, possessions, and homes as a child)

I think once you know you have a hoarding problem, you eventually have to give yourself a free pass on ‘waste’ or your home just becomes A ‘waiting to be recycled’ center.
Trying to deal with acquisition issues against the consumer culture backdrop, and now cost of living spiraling, is very difficult. Glad you enjoyed replacing things with nicer ones.

TalkToTheHand Well done, that’s a good amount out. keep at it!

Update: Didn’t get vehicle done, but launderette happened, and some of the worst offending bits of aunt’s garden cut back, and litter chucked over her wall cleared up.

Over the week; one black sack out, plus:

One large box of lights and fittings
Portable heater
TV mounting bar
Large v. heavy construction mounting bar has gone to someone who might use it.
The rest I’m just going to suck up the guilt over waste because at this point, I can’t delay getting shot of things any further and it not end in disaster.

Yesterday was an unexpected opportunity seized. Remains of bitumen shed roofing and bucket and gone of paint, after neighbors builders asked me to move vehicle so they could get a skip collected. Asked them if if I could use a bit off unused space.

Managed to get two liability orders that where put through while I was in hospital previously, recalled from bailiffs, and paid off. Very seriously overcharged which they know, but I can’t afford to keep arguing. Bitter sweet relief. (There is a slim theoretical chance I might get some returned if I can find the right bits of paper and spend enough time on it.)

Have come back early in order to try and get the tree down before others get back and it falls victim to crying baby syndrome.

I like your win with the skip Elleherd

I've realized my criteria for "is it useful" is essentially, "would a starving orphan scavenging on a rubbish dump in a third world country want it?" And if Yes then I shouldn't send it to landfill because useful things shouldn't be in landfill. But the UK is not a third world country and nobody wants my old tat. So it stays in my home. Which is ridiculous. Also, maybe I'm depriving that starving third world orphan? Kind of wish I had their address so I could send them my tat useful stuff direct and they wouldn't have to scavenge on a rubbish dump. But they probably don't even have an address or would have to pay import fees they can't afford, so never going to happen. Yes, I know, I'm an over thinker.

House getting a bit messier again so hoping I can get on it soon. 😔

Not been 100% last few days so hoping it's just down to that.

The Mrs Hinch Declutter Jar gave me a 2 yesterday - so that was a quickie, one single egg cup and a busted coathanger OUT before going away for the weekend.

Feeling a bit anxious again as clutter level seems to be creeping up again.

I did manage to fill a couple of bin bags from some drawers this afternoon though which I'm quite pleased about.

Going to try do a few more drawers then some small projects. I feel a bit more motivated to tidy having different methods.

Everything drifted but I’ve been trying to get back on track since the weekend. Things to be happy about:

My dishwasher is about to go on.

Supper tonight was a batch cooked pasta sauce from the freezer and I’ve got some meat defrosting for tomorrow.

I wanted to clear out my whole fridge. I only managed one shelf in the end, but it’s better than it was.

When the tights I put on were too small I put them straight in the rag bag rather than back in the drawer.

I have a question about clear spaces. When you've created one -Do you leave it clear because that's the overall goal? Or do you spread into it from another area, so both areas are cluttered but less so because the items have been spread over a wider area? I hope this makes sense! I tend to spread out, but I wondered if I was doing it wrong and that's why I never have any clear areas to report.

Well done Miaowse! A lots drifted here too, mostly because I'm really unwell.

That sound's like a good 'reset' and good habits in action.

BlueSummerBaby Interesting question. There's an argument for both. I don't think there's really a right or wrong here. (assuming we're not talking stairs, areas close to cookers etc.) Think it's probably an individual choice depending on your situation and what exactly you're trying to achieve, as well as if others are involved.

Here it's virtually impossible to clear an area and everyone not promptly spread into it, but that's because there is simply way too much stuff and too much that doesn't actually have a proper home.

I do think keeping the sink and working surfaces in the kitchen, and bathroom and loo, clear is hugely helpful in the general battle regardless of how serious or not the problem is generally.

Only action here was contractors boss turned up with lots of reasons/ excuses, and I'm waiting for actual dates they can commit to. Did get the tree down and branches (but not trunk) out. Laundry kept up with, and slowly tackling overdue legal and money issues, but little else. Aunts at standstill. Have a chest infection that's making breathing difficult, sapping energy, but somehow this weekend lots has to be tackled as various 'deadlines' crunch points about to happen.

Only real free day this week to tidy and I went shopping instead 🤭.
I did manage two wash loads, cleared fridge and a little kitchen tidy when I got back.

TalkToTheHand that's the kind of thing I'd do too!

Small achievements are better than none Miaowse

Chest infections are the pits Elleherd. Get well soon.

Yes my stairs are ok. It's never occurred to me to store anything there. Probably because it's really not a storage space. Everywhere is functional. I definitely draw the line at non functional homes. If it ever got that bad I think I'd have to hire a skip and maybe not look at what I was putting into it. I'm getting rid of things slowly, very slowly, but faster than I thought I would be.

Talk to the hand Well done kicking into action anyway.

BlueSummerBaby Generally, things came in slowly in the first place, so may be that's the natural rhythm.

Agree stairs are not a storage space but have come across enough others with stuff on their stairs to mention it when trying to work out 'base rules.'
I doubt most of them intended them as storage spaces either. I suspect people start by putting a pile of things on the side of a stair to take up, and then the mail goes on top, and then they use the side of the next stair to move half the pile to, to look for something and then more mail and something for the bathroom goes on top, and on it goes.

I wish I was able to just hire a skip and put stuff in without looking. Would solve so much.

I will raise my hand to stuff on stairs. It does all get fully cleared periodically.

Get better very soon Elleherd

I wish I was able to just hire a skip and put stuff in without looking. Would solve so much

I'd have kittens doing it! But I think I'd rather deal with those effects than have a non functional home. And it would be the only way if things had got that bad, because I take soooo looooong to decide to get rid of anything. If I had stuff on stairs, windows I couldn't open because stuff was in the way, if I couldn't get repairs done because there was nowhere to put the stuff from the repair area, or if I couldn't use a room for it's intended purpose. That's what would make me do it.

So, I guess I do have one clear area then, the stairs! It just never occurred to me to include it. I also have the attic clear, if that counts? I'm against the storage of things in the attic except for Christmas decorations, camping equipment or other seldom used but needed things. Not regular everyday things. Mainly because I know they'd be there forever and I'd never ever sort them out.

It must be so frustrating for you to be too unwell to get on with things Elleherd. I hope you recover in time to deal with those deadlines you mentioned.

Miaowse getting rid of it is good. Imagine how much worse it'd be if you never did but kept adding to it.

I suppose I'll have to be content with slow progress and keep plodding on.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all well and carrying on carrying on!

Well, I thought I'd give a very little update on my 'carrying on' so, here goes...

Unfortunately, my mum spent another 2 weeks in hospital but is fine now. I swear she'll outlive me

This week I decided to go through a part of the mess that is my bedroom and managed to get rid of a load of paper, cardboard boxes, and a small carrier bag of rubbish.

Yesterday and today I've been trying to find a document (unsuccessfully), and I've powered on for hours (8 AM until 6 PM)! My back is breaking, but I've filled a large paper waste recycling wheelie bin with papers, and magazines (go me! I love magazines), and put a fair bit of rubbish out too. This is just one room. It looks as bad if not worse than it did 2 days ago, but I'm quite pleased with myself. I also did a washload on Friday night/Saturday morning, and I washed up this evening.

Also, as much as I'd really love to go through the thread, I probably can't realistically.

A car that couldn't be repaired was stripped and scrapped today.

I'm off to take some Ibuprofen and go to bed. I'll try to log on more, but I don't
MN on my phone and rarely go onto my laptop these days.

Happy week ahead everyone

Wow @Solo

Well done, that's amazing. I hate the it looks worse/or still as bad even though I've done loads/ got rid of loads stage.

I usually go back a couple of posts because I can't cope with keeping up with it all either.

I really appreciate your short update and am going to nick it....

So: Mum died five months ago.
I didn't do much house work at all since so it's got a lot worse untidy wise.

The noisy tap got fixed. I've still not put stuff back in the bathroom/ cupboard.

I am just starting to do more than than washing and washing up.

I have been given notice on my rented garage so got to empty it and clean it out of junk/rubbish. Plus get ds's room decorated so the bed stored in my other garage can be brought in and assembled. It's a big job.

Yesterday:

Cleaned the living room window and sill so I can plant up my new planter with salad veg.

Put away half a pot rack of washing up. And washed up another half rack.

Did a load of washing and hung it up. Reorganising drying washing so it dries quicker.

Got the boy off to football early with ex.

Dealt with several meltdowns and phone calls from ex and kids.

The major achievement was sorting out some of the stuff in bags on the floor in the kitchen. This is regaining territory.

Also took down the Christmas tree (autism eh, hate transitions) and put it in the box. It only comes down when it is more annoying than the stress of taking it down. Put the lights in the light box. Which lives next to the socket!

Today: hoovered the hall, landing and stairs and part of the kitchen floor that I can see. (Including the bits of mud I just banged of the bottom of ds's football boots because I CBA to go down two flights of stairs to do it)

Emptied the hoover.

Brought up some stuff from garage to empty/recycle/wash/use.

Picked up more carrier bags to send back to Morrisons.

Wiped down front of washing machine, two cupboards and 2 drawers.

Got loads more to do. :(