Be honest! What things do you judge in other people’s houses?

[Teaandsleep]

Just a fun post.

Recently doing a huge renovation in our own home and am absolutely mortified at the dust everywhere, I keep having visions of visitors coming to the door and seeing all the dust everywhere, it is thick!

I also currently have a spatula sticking out my down pipe drain as we have just unblocked it and it’s to catch any old leaves/moss until it’s replaced 🤣

I’m a very poor housekeeper. I have adhd so find household maintenance a real challenge, both in motivation (it’s boring) and relentlessness (it’s repetitive). My organisational skills are pretty shonky as well. I lose everything in the chaos all the time. It’s really frustrating and makes me feel very stupid and lazy.
Sometimes I become very focused on the house and it’s truly lovely…but more often than not I feel overwhelmed and don’t deal.
I have to not mind people judging me, otherwise I’d never be able to have visitors.

I do 'reverse judge" if I am in someone's house that is nicer than mine but I honestly do not judge people on their cleanliness or decor.....with one exception. I did once go to a party at a house that was white and ivory and IMMACULATE....which I get, I mean not my choice but ok....but she was so invested in her immaculanity that she was on tenterhooks the whole time about shoes and drip mats under glasses, crumbs off the canapes and OMG she served a curry buffet that we were all supposed to cram into the kitchen to eat but people spilled out into the hall and the lounge and she just couldn't cope.I didn't judge her taste but I judged how she placed her home over her guests.
I have been to many places in my job in the NHS where I wouldn't have accepted a cup of tea but their home, their standards.

If anyone wanted to judge me for having no books I’d take them out to the garage where there at 18 moving crates of them, and then I’d tell them to fuck off because who has the time or energy to judge someone for not having books, but before that I’d show them my Kindle and remind them it’s the 21st century and there’s no need to chop down trees anymore just so you can read Bridgerton.

The only thing I’d judge is if someone smoked in the house. That’s just plain nasty. Ok, and a dirty toilet.

Mess and general untidiness doesn’t bother me, I grew up in quite a big family and our home was pretty chaotic, piles of washing, toys/books everywhere, but it was clean.

I actually feel abit uneasy in homes that are too pristine, I feel like I have to sit up really straight and not touch anything!

@Snoozer11

I can't stand this pretentiousness of judging people who don't have books on show in their house.

I remember reading once that Sue Perkins from Bake Off would enter your home and judge you based on your reading material - and would instantly decide whether or not you were worth her time based on that alone.

And yet her girlfriend was the host of Naked Attraction.

Yes, really classy.

Makes me laugh about the books thing too. Kindles are much tidier and don't attract dust. (I have a dust allergy).

I was brought up in a cluttered but clean home with pets so don't really judge clutter or mess or pets.

Obvious dirt or smells which is really bad though, especially if it's been left to pile up - I do judge.

Old dated kitchens and bathrooms - well parents had this for years. Replaced over time and when they had money. Mine is nice but got it refitted and bathroom when I moved in.

If you're having work done OP then naturally dust will be around and maybe mess due to the work.

Only house I've ever judged was DH's friends......... he was a well qualified and well dressed engineer who ran his own business. His wife was a SAHM, and had been since their DC had been born. They were teenagers by this time.

The house was squalid. No one had hoovered the stairs for years, it was covered in dirt and fluff. Their shower cubicle was unusable as it was full of dirty laundry... like 2/3rds of the way up. The toilet made you want to vomit into it instead of pee, and I'd have never had a cup of tea if I'd seen the kitchen.

It was grim and once we'd had kids, I refused to go there. I am still trying to work out how he came out of that house looking so clean and smart every day...............

@SarahBellam

If anyone wanted to judge me for having no books I’d take them out to the garage where there at 18 moving crates of them, and then I’d tell them to fuck off because who has the time or energy to judge someone for not having books, but before that I’d show them my Kindle and remind them it’s the 21st century and there’s no need to chop down trees anymore just so you can read Bridgerton.

I also have ‘no books’ but we are tenants and have moved several times in the last year. I read a lot, but have a one in, one out system and give old ones to the charity shop, with the exception of a small box of sentimental books.

Also we have a big telly as my parents gave it to us when they downsized. So obviously everyone is thinking we are thick and uneducated when they visit.

@pictish

I’m a very poor housekeeper. I have adhd so find household maintenance a real challenge, both in motivation (it’s boring) and relentlessness (it’s repetitive). My organisational skills are pretty shonky as well. I lose everything in the chaos all the time. It’s really frustrating and makes me feel very stupid and lazy. Sometimes I become very focused on the house and it’s truly lovely…but more often than not I feel overwhelmed and don’t deal. I have to not mind people judging me, otherwise I’d never be able to have visitors.

Me too, diagnosed. Threads like this really rub in the "normal" expectations versus our reality.

Threads like this are also a vile wonderful way of reinforcing the social pressures on women to fucking well keep a clean house, or Be Judged as a filthy slattern

Oh the book thing, I am convinced people bought books and a bookshelf just for zoom calls. Mine are in a cupboard upstairs and I now read on my Kindle so I'm sure I'll be judged.

People that can't keep the outside of their homes presentable and use it as a dumping ground.

TV in bedroom

Litter in the garden

@BoredZelda

Skirting board

99% of homes have skirting boards. It’s a standard detail. Why would you judge anyone who has them?

I don’t judge people who gave them, but having recently moved k to a house that has curved skirting boards everywhere, I am frustrated by them. What’s the point?? They just gather dust, and mean that your furniture can’t be placed flush against the wall, so stuff is always falling down the gap at the back. And the gaps at the back of all the furniture is completely wasted space, which adds up quickly in a small house. I’ve yet to find any useful purpose for them.

@notanothertakeaway

TV in bedroom

Litter in the garden

We have TV in the bedroom, where else would DH watch his crappy sport, certainly not on the TV downstairs.

I suspect that my house is likely to be incredibly unpopular on here. It's decorated purely to my taste with bright colours, odd ornaments and furniture that I have collected over the years. I also have indoor cats so it potentially smells but I try and keep air flowing through with windows being open all the time. The bathroom is being ripped out this year but it's dated and bloody hideous to look at. And my living room looks like Smyths because my DD likes playing there and I like watching her little mind work. It is clean though which I feel is all that matters.

I do however judge people who leave their children's rooms as the lowest priority. This is possibly my own thing as my parents did this and I slept on a broken bed frame and shit mattress for years. My DDs room is pristine, cleaned and tidied regularly and possibly the best room in the house. Maybe I should entertain guests there next time?

Carpets, state of. I loathe carpets anyway but a dirty carpet is

I’m also not understanding judging a tv in the bedroom, what the heck is the poster doing in someone’s bedroom 😂😂😂

In my whole life I’ve only been into one house which smelled so bad I couldn’t wait to leave, it hit you like a wall. It was just the habits of the people who lived there. It was quite extreme.

Having said that, no house is supposed to be perfect. I know myself that keeping everywhere clean and tidy is a constant job so if I go somewhere that isn’t clean I tend to think the owner has something better/more fun to do. It’s not really a negative thing.

If someone saw my house and it’s contents they’d think I like reading, and that I’m also tacky and materialistic. They’d be correct so who cares.

Smacking their kids. Couldn’t give a crap how dirty their house is, mine would be if I couldn’t afford a cleaner.

Dirt and smells.

In addition to many of the above, dead flowers still being displayed in a vase and dead/uncared for plants.

I have a kindle, no storage space for physical books shrug

@Hotcuppatea

Those big words that some people have. Like SLEEP on the bedroom wall and EAT on the kitchen window sill.

What are they for? Is it in case you forget what you came into the room for?

I frequently forget what I came in the room for. Must get some of these.

TV's in bedroom?????

Should teenagers not watch TV unless they are watching something (what they think is shit) with their parents? Weird.

I wouldn't judge anyone for their house. I'd judge them for their beliefs

Reading this and thinking about my own habits. SIL us coming over with the kids soon (half term here) and I've just had a quick sweep, mopped the wooden floor (so it smells nice), checked the downstairs loo and changed the hand-towel. Apart from checking I had cake yesterday, that's it. This is what I'd do if anyone was due to arrive: it's not putting pressure on anyone else to do it, it's just the way I was brought up. I like to have an organised, pleasant house that I like to look at. I'm quite into interiors and like it to reflect me and my family. This doesn't make me a bitch, like some are expressing, or somehow cowed down to patriarchal expectations- DH is similar to me and does equal around the house. I'm also raising my 3 sons to be similar. Each to their own.