Decluttering Club thread 20(22)!

[Mommabear20]

Let's go!

Discovered today that Boots had decluttered £45 worth of points from my Advantage Card. Was on hold to them for around 40 minutes, but have managed to get the points re-instated. I hadn’t realised that if you don’t use your card for 2 years your points are removed. Due to Covid I was limiting the number of shops I went into, working from home etc.. Luckily, they said because of Covid they will add them back on again. They had only been removed a few weeks ago.

Hope this might save another UK member falling foul of the same rule..

purplefrog that reminds me I have a pile of loyalty cards I should get rid of. One is Boots and I rarely use it. The only loyalty card I really get value from is my Nando’s card (as mentioned above) in fact I’m taking stbexh to dinner there tonight because we are owed a free half a chicken!

Anyway I’m delighted that I took three massive bags to the charity shop. They contained, books, rags and toys. One of the toys was a huge teddy bear given to me by my first university boyfriend who dumped me 27 years ago. I loved it but it was in great condition so hopefully will be loved by a new owner.

@PurpleFrog - just been to double check points are still showing on my Advantage card......

I tackled one of my long hanging wardrobes today - the one with out the evening dresses - it now looks much better too but I realised I am hanging on to some very beautiful vintage clothes that no longer fit purely because they are worth a lot more than I'd be able to sell them for. I need to find somewhere that would sell them properly (I don't think ebay or vinted are right for them and they are mostly not designer so Vestiaire isn't right either). I now need to find somewhere to store them urgently as I am going to find this an even bigger problem when I do the other long hanging wardrobe. Only a couple of items to go to the charity shop from this wardrobe. AM about to run the bag to TKMaxx though.

I'm still not doing much / anything. I seem to have stopped even doing basic housework since the holidays. The worrying thing is that the sheets on the bed haven't been changed for over a month and dh hasnt noticed. His disinterest in life doesnt make things any easier for me. I'm sure he isnt happy with the house but he is inert to life in general. Never wants to go out, hasnt got any hobbies etc. His life revolves around work and in still struggling with my mental health.

I have no idea where to start this time. Even the washing isnt getting done.

I don’t know all the details @IncessantNameChangerbut whenever I feel overwhelmed and do nothing I feel worse.
If I just do something, one thing, I start to feel just that teeny bit better.

I read a thing about doing just 15mins (can cut this down to whatever feels doable), not saying to yourself ‘I will do all of the laundry’ or ‘I will clean the whole kitchen’ but ‘I will set a timer for Xmins and clean what I can then I can flop on the sofa for a bit’

That way, the next 15mins you are a step further ahead. If it’s a job you’ve been stalling on, or cleaning that needs doing. Or a horrible paperwork issue, just do the initial 15mins and step away (if you want, sometimes I find I’m happy to keep going).

@londonmummy1966 Glad you still have your points. There was no warning email - they just disappeared. Annoying, I think I did buy some things in our local (small) Boots during the height of Covid restrictions, but what with the queuing to get in, 2m distancing, screens etc. I think that my loyalty card was the last thing on my mind.

Since I updated last Friday I have done quite well.

I spent a lot of time last weekend sorting out DP’s piles of paperwork on the coffee table. This was made necessary by him emptying a glass of wine over it on Friday evening! Fortunately, nothing important was damaged, but I spent a while on Saturday laying things out to dry. The fact that everything was still in its original envelopes probably saved some bits. I must have thrown out 60-70 envelopes in total. Most of the contents have now been chucked, filed or shredded. There are just a few bits left to find homes for. On the back of this I got round to labelling the suspension files in the filing cabinet section of the storage unit in the living room. That is a job I have been putting off for a few years, and in the end it took less than an hour. I might still tweak some of the categories, though.

I have also done another section of worktop in the kitchen. That space will be very handy and I need to keep it clear going forward. There are now some more homeless bits on the kitchen table, but not too many.

Yesterday we defrosted the small chest freezer. I can’t remember when we did it last, and I ended up throwing out a number of things that were very out of date - some we just won’t use, and others that had got damaged. A lot of it went into our compost bin. I plan to make a note of when it was done, and try to do it at least once a year, so we have a chance of using things up.

I have done some more gardening this week, and sent DP to the recycling site yesterday with 3 full garden bags, along with a bag of electrical recycling and one of metal. Before the bags left, I quickly added an electric toothbrush that was replaced before Christmas, an old cordless phone, a pair of old secateurs that had spontaneously flown apart losing some parts in the garden, and a pile of rusty screws from the back doorstep.

All the free range bank statements have been successfully herded into folders Sorted my gym clothes drawer today and have retired a pair of rather saggy leggings. They will be replaced but the sorting and folding means it all fits in comfortably even will fit my wrist protector/lifting wraps. These have been on a windowsill for ages but i had sort of stopped seeing them if you know what i mean

More clothes have gone to the local charity shop. Coats to a homeless charity. Books to recycling and horrible plastic toys also to the recycling centre.

Don't kids hoard crap 😳

@stealthninjamum just wondering if a teddy from a boyfriend who dumped you 27 years ago can still be considered a sentimental item!
@IncessantNameChanger I'm sorry to hear that but well done reading and posting - hoping that you find a way to take a small step.
Managed to clear out some things from the bedroom that have sat around for years unused but that I couldn't bring myself to throw - gone now.

Hello! May I join you?

Much declutter afoot here at chez parkin. Today I got rid of a stereo and about 20 books (all gone to charity shop) and also sold my kindle to an electronics shop. Sounds as if I've given up on reading entirely...but actually, the kindle was an experiment and I didn't like it. So selling it on. Planning to use the library more for books. Don't know why I wasn't doing that anyway tbh.

Oh, also said goodbye to my ££££ beeast pump. I had to exclusively pump for my youngest dc, but stopped when he turned one and he is about to turn four now, so think it's time to let that go!

Hi SarahJP!

Moving out of the old kitchen into the new here.
Have put a load of random bits into a box for DH to look through, all stuff we just don’t use. Plus duplicates - 3 tin openers, why?!

But can’t count the stuff as gone just yet in case he reclaims anything.

Also carried on attacking bookshelves in the front room that have had all sorts of shizzle put on them - definitely a case of not seeing the stuff once it’s been there a while.

Out:
1 set of weather themed fridge magnets
I large GB magnet (lived on the fridge for years, no longer eligible in France)
Random leftover beads & little tray that came with them
Broken clock
Ancient iPad & iPhone (into recycling box for the tip)
Wooden box that used to hold tea
Old scratch off poster
Old paintbrush

Think that’s
76 out

In
2 x presents for DNephew, leaving tomorrow
Tshirt present for Ds2 (birthday next week)

@LivingInaBuildingSite

I don’t know all the details *@IncessantNameChangerbut* whenever I feel overwhelmed and do nothing I feel worse. If I just do something, one thing, I start to feel just that teeny bit better.

I read a thing about doing just 15mins (can cut this down to whatever feels doable), not saying to yourself ‘I will do all of the laundry’ or ‘I will clean the whole kitchen’ but ‘I will set a timer for Xmins and clean what I can then I can flop on the sofa for a bit’

That way, the next 15mins you are a step further ahead. If it’s a job you’ve been stalling on, or cleaning that needs doing. Or a horrible paperwork issue, just do the initial 15mins and step away (if you want, sometimes I find I’m happy to keep going).

I normally do this every day but 45 minutes then 15 break. Then go again for 45 minutes.

I think I'm a bit broken over the whole looking for a secondary school thing. But having children with SEN is quite isolating so I cant say to anyone I feel broken. Half dont want to here it. The other half dont get it. I went to see another mum who is dd's best friend yesterday. We talked about SEN and schools and it was lovely. But I still feel that dh or my sister or mum should be checking in with me how I'm coping. They dont seem to get it at all.

Dh has striped the bed at last and said he will remake it.

I want a hug and a cry. But I'm not going to get that.

In better news my dd was awarded her ehcp today without any fuss ( unless you count the appeal to get her assesed).

I think I miss that presence in your life where someone sees your struggling and says your doing great, keep going. Gives you a hug. I have a amazing friend. I have good friends actually. But dh should step up to support me. He doesn't at all. I think if I fell into my pile of crap and died he wouldnt notice and just walk over my rotting corpse for years.

Anyway I won my appeal and got my dd her ehcp. In the meantime I have fallen off the wagon. No pat on the back from dh in fact he doesnt ask so I didnt tell him. Maybe I deserve to live in a big mess?

That's a major factor in my hoarding. My abusive mum. I had a pile of stuff around me as a kid to keep her out of my room. I'm stressed and I want my wall back up to feel safe.

I need a better way to cope with trama.

@IncessantNameChanger congratulations on getting your daughter her EHCP.

Maybe the decluttering just needed to take a backseat while you got through the ehcp process? My friend is going through this and a CAHMS referral for her DD so I have seen the stress this puts people under. It’s a hell of a lot to cope with.

Not much to report here. Old barcode scanner freecycled and some picture frames given to a neighbour who runs art workshops.

also a very old iPad out here too (twig would only give 50p for it) 2 boxes of LFTs in via the library
I thought people were talking about DHs being potheads down-thread for a minute 🤭

Hi all, just caught up on yesterday's posts as work was manic and I didn't have a chance. Glad to see people progressing, but sorry others are having a tough time. Yesterday I put 11 toys and 1 blanket in the to-go pile and also unsubscribed from more mailing lists. I keep seeing TKMAXX bins mentioned - do all TKMAXXs have a clothes bin? I haven't noticed this before!

Got rid of an empty Olaplex bottle last night, an empty deodorant can and a half used bottle of fake tan which is too dark for me. Looked very orange when I used it!

Back on the hunt for things to declutter today

@IncessantNameChanger massive hugs to you from over here 🤗 What a tough time you're going through at the moment. Support is everything and I'm so sorry you aren't getting thag from DH at the moment. Be kind to yourself and at the moment if some of the stuff you have is there for a purpose - your wall of safety - you do not have to get rid at the moment while you're feeling vulnerable.

Remember this thread is based on getting rid of things one day at a time so it doesn't have to be overwhelming. I wonder if we can think of ways as decluttering as a way or getting rid of memories linked to your trauma and clearing space and mind at the same time. I can't remember if you've said but have you ever had counselling? One of the things that worked for me was thinking of memories visually in a box that you close and put away in the attic or if you feel brave enough through out. A lot of memories won't go forever but you can put them away neatly and accept them but don't think about them.

Sorry for the waffle there 🤦🏻‍♀️ just don't feel like you're alone. This is a safe space too x

@TruffleNoir I have had a fair bit of councilling about hoarding and last year about my mum. I asked for councilling each time. I think really to do this part where I pack up each room and empty it, paint and replace the stuff I need professional decluttering help. I'm.not going to get that kind of emotional or expert help from family.

I will have a Google today. I'm not buying anything atm. We cleared the garage. So things are moving but I do need some major input right now to turn a corner after Christmas.

I will have a good think today and maybe search for a professional declutter.

I'm going to finish getting all of the kitchen work tops completely clear today ( except kettle toaster etc) and clearing the surfaces in my bedroom. Once that's done I know I have achieved two things at least.

I’m back!

I have found some more to declutter. Today:

A set of new in packaging pillowcases that match nothing
Two balls of yarn
Five items from ebay that havent sold in a year - one book and four magazines. They will go to charity as they like the craft magazines.
One fabric tote

To recycle or bin:
One top
One dvd set (too scratched for charity) and forgot it was still here!
One candle glass jar
One out of date tin
Box of stock cubes

Sold:
One old phone
One pair of shoes

I have also listed something on ebay this morning.

I’ve sorted some containers from the kitchen too. I only bought them last year but they just don’t get used properly. I think I will donate all but the smallest couple to charity as well.

Agree with what truffle said about it being OK to keep some things during a really difficult period for you incessant. Don't feel pressured!

I've found a few crappy bits to get rid of today. Old boxes, a broken cable from a phone charge and loads of bits of card. Might go through the kids' toys again later as well.

I've also found a big, plastic box which I'm going to use to store all the chargers and cables. Looks a lot neater and it should make them a bit easier to find.

incessant I think it would be good for you to have a professional declutterer. Or do you have a good friend who could help? I agree with truffle that you don’t need to achieve masses each day - just one thing - and I’m sure you already do one thing without noticing.

I have been sorting through our crafts stuff and got rid of 7 items - paints, gone off clay, an unusable, stiff brush. Dd2 has suddenly discovered a talent for art and so I might throw out all the stuff we’ve had since she was a toddler and buy a smaller amount of nice brushes / paints that take up less room.

Yesterday was been a hard one, just getting through the day with a toddler! So not much done, a few tiny outs. The toss app suggested getting rid of board games - well it suggested it a couple of days ago to be honest - I didn't do that but I have uno in a tin, the tin got squashed, so kept the cards, ditched the tin, takes up less space.
Not much done today either, agree that sometimes it's about surviving, echp sounds really stressful and emotional too I imagine. Sometimes a breather is more important

Been out most of the day but had a good blitz first thing. In the to-go pile today: 1 blanket, 1 purse, 1 handbag, 1 hat, 2 umbrellas, 1 pair of gloves, 1 pair of sunglasses, 2 home design brochures, and 1 jewellery pouch. I also went through all my old handbags and purses and got rid of all the rubbish - old pens, receipts etc. All coins went in DS' money box or in my 'new' (previously forgotten about) purse! ££ yay!

I've forgotten where up I'm to on this thread!

Sold two more items on eBay - £30 each too so not a bad profit - & they went in the post today. It's more organising than decluttering here at the moment, so I'll head to the other thread... 🙂

Cleared the hallway of charity shop donations gathered. A couple of items added that I had kept because they used to make me happy. Not any more.