Do you like people calling unannounced?

[pinkandmarshmallowclouds]

This? I have the most wonderful in-laws , who I love dearly but I cannot handle the " we were just passing so decided to call in" attitude . Any one else as weird as me? I can't explain what it is exactly that infuriates me but I really really hate when people do this! Typically it always happens when the house is a mess or you're in the middle of stuff and it makes me feel embarrassed. Tell me I'm
Not alone 🤨

I should have added we also text as well. The calling in depends on what it's for.

If it's wanting to come round for coffee and a full catch up and there's an expectation of the person stopping plans then we would always text.
If it's wanting to borrow some DIY equipment or to return something DCs have left at various houses, or genuinely passing whilst walking the dogs to say hi then it's more casual.

@rrhuth

Watch Cranford, they have it right - set hours and set visit length

I have solved this by only answering the door when I choose.

I would love the 'Cranford approach' to be standard -- that sounds ideal! Knowing not only when guests are to arrive but also when they are to leave, to the minute, sounds like a perfect socialising model to me.

Door-ignorers: how do you do it? Do you not have relatives who a) knock and ring incessantly, b) rap on the window, c) go round the back, d) shout through the letterbox, e) phone to say 'we are outside', f) decide to sit in the car at the end of the drive and wait?

All these things would happen if I became a door-ignorer. (How I would love to be.)

Door-ignorers: how do you do it? Do you not have relatives who a) knock and ring incessantly, b) rap on the window, c) go round the back, d) shout through the letterbox, e) phone to say 'we are outside', f) decide to sit in the car at the end of the drive and wait?

It might help that there's no road or path access to the back of our house.though we make damned sure people know that we won't open the door to them if they don't text or ring first. Thankfully only one friend ignored this. Texting from outside gets the reply... I'm in the bath, sorry you wasted a journey, but you should have text to let us know, so I could have warned you that we aren't up for visitors today

Door-ignorers: how do you do it? Do you not have relatives who a) knock and ring incessantly, b) rap on the window, c) go round the back, d) shout through the letterbox, e) phone to say 'we are outside', f) decide to sit in the car at the end of the drive and wait?

At our old house, where my study was on the ground floor next to the front door, I just used to mouth through the window that I was working and say they needed to not call during working hours.

In this house, there's a long drive, then a electronic gate onto a fairly busy road, so they can't approach the house directly unless I've given them the keypad code or a fob, the letterbox is a box in the pillar, and there's nowhere to park immediately outside to wait. If they phoned and said they were outside, I'd say I was working and they needed to let me know they were coming.

@Verfremdungseffekt

I don’t really understand this — what time is this happening? Evenings? Or just at weekends? During the day, we’re both at work — if it’s a day we work from home we wouldn’t be answering the door anyway, but tbh, no one drops by any more than they would drop into a workplace and expect you to make them tea. At weekends, we’re out a lot, so anyone who shows up unannounced knows it’s unlikely we’ll be home, so they phone.

Or is this more of a SAHP issue?

Don't think it's an SAHP thing, tends to be weekends and evenings for us.

Door-ignorers: how do you do it? Do you not have relatives who a) knock and ring incessantly, b) rap on the window, c) go round the back, d) shout through the letterbox, e) phone to say 'we are outside', f) decide to sit in the car at the end of the drive and wait?

Well mine all live hours away, but if they didn't, there's no way they'd do that! Sounds like very odd and intrusive behaviour tbh.

Yes it's drives me nuts. Only person I can tolerate turning up unannounced is my DM whom rarely does and my one elderly neighbour as its usually him giving me biscuits for the kids before he dashes off again!

My useless (wealthy)in laws are as much support to us as a chocolate fireguard, forget every birthday and never offer any help in any form. Not once have they helped us with one of our house moves which is hard enough for any family but even harder with a severely disabled child. The fuckers turned up unannounced a week after we moved here just to see us an unwelcome surprise. We were in a right shit tip, so much work needed doing but they sat on the sofa for a good couple of hours for a feckin chat, no offer to help with any of the obvious things that needed doing. wankers. Can you tell I don't like them? DH doesn't either.

I prefer a five minute warning but other than that I have no problem. Neighbours often pop in and family are welcome any time.

I hate it!
My parents have form for turning up with random relatives as well and that drives me mad!