Do you like people calling unannounced?

[pinkandmarshmallowclouds]

This? I have the most wonderful in-laws , who I love dearly but I cannot handle the " we were just passing so decided to call in" attitude . Any one else as weird as me? I can't explain what it is exactly that infuriates me but I really really hate when people do this! Typically it always happens when the house is a mess or you're in the middle of stuff and it makes me feel embarrassed. Tell me I'm
Not alone 🤨

I hate it , luckily hardly anyone does this apart from one relative but I can forgive as it’s only once in a while mind you when I was wfh earlier in the year she used to pop in , that’s one of the reasons I hate wfh .
If anyone does this I just carry on with what I’m doing rude maybe but so is just turning up hence why you give the heads up .

I would start going to their house unannounced at weird timings for couple of times . They might get it how do you feel

What if you're just off to the toilet? - they won't mind, it only takes a moment.

In the middle of a row or telling your kids off? - just stop, far nicer to have guests and deal with the issue later when calmed down.

Having a snooze? - doesn't happen during the day.

Cleaning the oven? - I don't need an excuse to stop.

@ExcessiveIyDisorganised

What if you're just off to the toilet? - they won't mind, it only takes a moment.

In the middle of a row or telling your kids off? - just stop, far nicer to have guests and deal with the issue later when calmed down.

Having a snooze? - doesn't happen during the day.

Cleaning the oven? - I don't need an excuse to stop.

I don't mean you personally! I mean the poor people popper inners inflict themselves upon.

You are not alone.

This drives me fucking mad.
My MIL did this when I had my first baby and would turn up unannounced every single day. My partner had to tell her about 10 times before she stopped doing it.

I think this was pretty normal behaviour back in the day so possibly they don't even think twice about doing it.

I would stop answering the door.

Nope, I hate it, I find it very rude & so does DH. I just wouldn't open the door. A text takes a few seconds, so there is just no need

No I would hate it.

As a general rule no one visits anyway. Not because I dont want guests ever, more because no one wants to come even when I have asked. My family always give some excuse. Eg their home is bigger or they dont want to drive over (its three miles not 30!).

I cannot stand it. It has nothing to do with whether the house is messy, tidy, clean or not. I just don’t like the entitlement of some people in presuming that they can turn up whenever the hell they feel like it without checking if it’s okay. So rude and obnoxious.

The only exception is my daughters. They’re always welcome to pop in.

See I'm the total opposite, I like it because its nice that someone wants to see me, I see it as a compliment not rude or obnoxious, I'm always happy to see a friend at the door even it it isn't convenient.

@ExcessiveIyDisorganised

See I'm the total opposite, I like it because its nice that someone wants to see me, I see it as a compliment not rude or obnoxious, I'm always happy to see a friend at the door even it it isn't convenient.

You sound lovely, and I really like your outlook! Xx

I love visitors but always hope they let me know first! Three of our adult children live around the corner and we never ever call without texting first, just something we would never dream of doing.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule Yes, although round the other way I text first, I would also be happy with any of my children just arriving on the doorstep like you!

Depends where you are I think.

I grew up in the country, and random visitors are generally welcomed with open arms. There was little to do, and not really anywhere to socialise, so people dropping in could really cheer up your day.

I now live in a city, it's still quite small and friendly, but I wouldn't dream of 'popping by' without arranging in advance, and no one has ever done that to us. Plenty of friends, but always arranged.

Nope. Find it quite rude. I would never call on anyone unannounced either.

In-Laws have a key and have previously let themselves in when I didn’t answer the door. 🙄

I can’t be doing with people who just drop by, I think it’s rude, a friend of my husband once did it, brought his girlfriend along too, they came at about 8 pm and stayed until 4 am the following morning, he started coming round regularly expecting to be let in, my husband wouldn’t entertain him and told him not to come again, what’s going on with people who think it’s okay to sit in your home until daft o clock in the morning showing you photographs of insects and talking bollocks, it was surreal.

I would never do it to anyone else, literally never! So I’d like to think people wouldn’t do it to me but people do 🙄 secretly kind of enjoyed that aspect of the lockdown when you knew even if people turned up at the door, you didn’t feel like you had to invite them in!

I hate it. My parents love doing this and do not understand that people really don't like drop ins these days. My view is, you should always see if it's convenient for others first.

It comes up regularly on MN.
You'll never convince the people that think the opposite way from you.

I like people to pop in if they are passing.
The bonus is that you don't have to tidy up, or have some nice biscuits in or whatever your hosting anxiety is. They weren't expected, so they take you as they find you.

I like it because its nice that someone wants to see me, I see it as a compliment not rude or obnoxious, I'm always happy to see a friend at the door even it it isn't convenient.

This is my thinking too.
If someone drives 30mins to see you without arranging it, then more fool them - that is their choice. However, people don't generally drive a distance to 'pop in' on people, they do it when they are in the neighbourhood for some reason, so if you aren't there / can't accommodate them, then it is no bother.

I can’t be doing with people who just drop by, I think it’s rude, a friend of my husband once did it, brought his girlfriend along too, they came at about 8 pm and stayed until 4 am the following morning, he started coming round regularly expecting to be let in, my husband wouldn’t entertain him and told him not to come again, what’s going on with people who think it’s okay to sit in your home until daft o clock in the morning showing you photographs of insects and talking bollocks, it was surreal.

We've had friends turn up "to surprise us" once from another city. They were already drunk when they knocked on on our door at 6pm. We think had taken something too. They arrived with 2 other friends we didn't know from Adam, also drunk & didn't leave until 6am ... we'd gone to bed & left them to it. Basically they'd turned up with strangers to stay the night, without even letting us know, never mind asking us. Since then we are a lot more careful about opening the door & letting people in

Who the hell does that

I hate it and it's nothing to do with the house not being presentable. I think it's rude. If someone texts me and ask can they pop round in 30 minutes, that's different. I know they want a chat about something so no problem. I don't run round making the house tidy though. I'd put the kettle on or chill the wine, depending who it is. But when I haven't had any warning I find it irritating. I wouldn't do it to anyone, friends or family.
I might be having a bubble bath and reading my book, or I might be sorting my wardrobe or walking the dog. It's annoying.

I’d hate it and would never do it myself.
Who doesn’t have a list of stuff to get through every day? There’s nothing worse than feeling the minutes drain away with no end in sight without being rude. I struggle to rebuff people and like to host well so it’s a nightmare.
Thankfully it very rarely happens. I do have a couple of friends who never leave, which is less annoying but sometimes problematic…

I’d stop answering the door, or if your FH is in and let’s them through, just give a cheery hello and leave him to it while you crack on with whatever you were doing.

I hate unannounced callers.

Unless it’s a very close friend/family I Will quite easily ignore the doorbell.

I love it. The house is never really messy and the loo is always clean and if it wasn't well,tough! I love any excuse for a coffee and a natter.

I hate it. It assumes I have nothing to do except wait for them to grace me with their presence.

And I want 24 hours notice! Tidy and clean the house, order in some food, have the dog walked so he doesn’t annoy anyone, and have had a shower and brushed my hair!