It's July, Fledglings are Flying towards Freedom (hopefully!)

[EverythingDelegated]

Hello and welcome to the July 2021 Fledgling Flylady Thread. Thank you Willow for an excellent pair of June threads. Welcome to one and all, old hands and newbies, lurkers and longtime posters and anyone in between. This thread keeps us vaguely on track with Flylady and is where we post our Ta Das and Yes Ta Das (what we did yesterday 😁), our To Dos and To Didn'ts, and discuss anything that comes to mind (often not housekeeping!).

The beauty of Flylady is that you are never behind, the whole system repeats every month, just jump in wherever. The aim is to gradually get into good habits and regular routines that keep the house ticking over rather than having a huge blitz on it.

To help you with this I'll be posting links to Flyady's Flight Plan and other useful parts of the website, which is updated daily, it's also good to go in and have a browse (some of it is a bit twee though). Do NOT sign up for the emails, you will be inundated.

The system divides the house up into weekly zones, then in each zone there will be timefor decluttering, a small daily task (the Mission) and each day of the week has a theme too (eg Errand Day). You can switch things around to suit your circumstances, there is a weekly Sneak Peek page to help you plan ahead. There are also 31 Babysteps, small daily habits to adopt (eg wearing shoes around the house if you'd rather not). Finally Flylady wants you to make time for you and your family, so weekends are more relaxed.

Jargon
Flylady (and the thread!) has a little bit of her own peculiar jargon it can help to know:
S&S - swish and swipe - a quick go round a bathroom or cloakroom to keep it acceptably fresh
LoL load of laundry. We are not collapsing into hysterical laughter over the state of our washing baskets
Hotspots any areas that tend to collect clutter no matter how often you clear them - mine is definitely the corner of the worksurface by the kitchen door, and the bookshelf at the bottom of the stairs
5 minute room rescue a quick whizz round any room to create a semblance of order
Weekly Home Blessing (often Home Bleugh here) - an hour a week to keep the house acceptable. I think this can only be done in an hour if you only have one bed in the house to change, so take it with a pinch of salt. I spread mine over the week as I cannot get it down to an hour and don't have an hour to give to it either.
Ned and Ted - imaginary friends often draughted in to assist with washing and ironing
BRC Bag, or box, of Random Crap
(D)LMS (Didn't) Lose My Shit - often a necessary acronym around spouses and teens!
Naughty Corner - the thread's imaginary space for rest and recuperation when it all gets too much. Often stocked with soft cushions, blankets, drinks and snacks. May or may not have a free bar, fire place, sunloungers, hot and cold running barmen etc.
Cherry waves 🍒👋 - lovely type for cheery wave that stuck!
All Fed and No One Dead - a good outcome to a busy day.

The beauty of Flylady is that is can be adapted to any household setup - lots of DC or just one, or none; a partner / spouse, or ex, or those going it alone; those working within or outside the home; shiftwork, you name it.

Our motto is No Fledgling Left Behind, so if you are a returner or a lurker, welcome on board, there is always space her for more Fledglings.

Placemarking!

Thank you willow even though I fell off the thread and thank you ED!!

I will try and keep up this month

Thanks for new thread.

And thank you everyone for all the help and support. This is making a difference gradually and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with home organising and cleaning and just general day to day adulting.

Thank you for running the July thread for us ED

Thank you ed! And of course thank you willow for leading us so well through June.

Can’t quite believe we are halfway through this shitshow of a year 🤣

I’ve crashed a bit this evening. Beyond shattered and I am so relieved I’ve finally got the job application etc sorted (having stressed about it and procrastinated for ages) I’m just happy it’s done and don’t really mind that I’ve slumped since! Busy day tomorrow with job centre and a maths lesson, plus I’m really not sure what to do about DD1 who isn’t well (not covid symptoms) and has also injured her hand she’s definitely not going to school tomorrow but not sure if she needs to see someone.

willow - thanks so much for last month 💕. ED ta muchly for July.

DS had a negative test so we can go out tomorrow...

Thank you Willow for the June thread and for offering to do July Ed.

Can’t believe it is July.

I’ve crashed a bit this evening. Beyond shattered and I am so relieved I’ve finally got the job application etc sorted (having stressed about it and procrastinated for ages) I’m just happy it’s done and don’t really mind that I’ve slumped since I can definitely relate to that.

Feeling a bit sorry for myself this evening. I have a place in another country that I haven't been able to get to for nearly 2 years now and I had flights booked for ds and I to go there for the whole of summer. I had stuff to sort out with my property that is really urgent and I also massively needed the recharge to my batteries it would give and needed to get ds away from all the usual influences and distractions and just have 'us' and the sea and a place where we can really just be. Flight has been officially cancelled now and even if I could find another route I couldn't go because I can't afford a hotel quarantine at £1600 per head plus all the testing. Would have still gone if it was on amber but red makes it impossible unless you're crazy wealthy and don't have deadlines for being back at work.

Just feeling like I've been running on empty for quite a while now and between covid, money issues, work stuff, crazy health challenges and general single parenting a teenager challenges I'm feeling burnt out and unsure where I can plug a charger in to reinvigorate and inspire myself.

Sorry for the big whinge but I'm feeling what a tough few years it's been, even before covid. My parents are in their mid 70's, luckily still independent and managing for now but I guess it's not too far in the future that they'll need more from me too. There's a lot of treading water and trying to stay afloat.

I'm back in the UK to get ds through education but he's not really trying and is getting into trouble at school and I'm earning enough to basically keep a roof over our heads and pay some money into a couple of pension pots but I'm 45, renting and just treading water frantically trying to keep on top of even basic things like running a house. If ds was finished with school I'd take one of the overseas jobs I'm being emailed about but he's not and by the time he is probably my parents will need help.

Aware my problems are small fry compared to some people's but I'm feeling pretty burnt out and in need of some joy and battery charging. I found some beautiful paint today that I'd like in the living room but then I become conscious it's not my house, they could put it on the market tomorrow and I'd have no say and on paper now don't earn enough to pass any kind of tenancy vetting to be able to rent somewhere else. Same with furniture - I love funiture and would happily buy expensive pieces but what's the point if it all has to go into storage (unaffordable) or be sold off for peanuts at some point in the not too distant future?

Insomnia definitely doesn't help. These are tough years sandwiched between being responsible for a teen and getting them through education despite their reluctance and lack of getting a shit and dealing with parents and work and financial responsibilities. Maybe it's not so surprising that my house is a mess.

Just a life is hard moan I guess. I wish I could get away to my 2nd home for summer and recharge my batteries and remind myself there is life beyond this stage.

Totally off topic and yet it is all of this stuff that makes housework and keeping on top of all the stuff that needs doing at home feel insurmountable and what pushes it to the bottom of the pile for uses of my energy. I probably also have some resentment at having to do all of this as well. And the groundhog day of lol, dw, try to bring order to a house that is basically just too small but still costs the bulk of my income.

On the other hand I know that a peaceful non stressful home environment makes a lot of difference to how we feel so I'll keep going and carving time and energy out for it.

Someone please give me a slap in the morning and tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself.Feeling like a bit of a failure at parenting and life in general tonight.

Thank you for running the June threads willow
Happy birthday to your DS Red

Once I got home I started on dinner, then DD suggested we eat outside (it wasn't as hot by then, in the shade), I had made a mess yesterday on my day off and hadn't cleaned it up, so Swept and wiped down the table and benches and Swept the patio as well.
I still need rotate the DW, but for now we're watching Loki.

Pinch,punch,1day of month and no returns!
Ed thanks for agreeing get us thru end of term/start of hols,willow great job hold us up thru june

Honey I will offer a virtual hug,no pokes or slaps
Comparison is the thief of joyand regarding problems no one walks in your shoes and if it bothers you it's a problem and f* what others think.end of.
I'm sorry you are so disappointed,who wouldn't be in your place?plate spinning is HARD.so is being a single mum,and all teachers have earned so much respect from me during covid times..we have had support from a couple in different school and it's all the same stories of long hours,the short notice changes,working thru all holiday thanks to gov u turns,the worry of illness yet only occupation there's no covid secure work environment.i take my hat off to you all
On the making home nice, furniture is a big investment.paint doesn't have to be.if it's ok within rental rules I'd probably paint the living room if that would lift your spirits.its not your house,but it is your home💞
In sure someone else will say something more constructive and less clunky but it's important you know we are here to listen always

Right today's a taking a run at it kind of day.lil zoo has hvp jab,dd2 camhs and revved self into state over it so will be tired limp arsey rag after and I'm determined continue reclaiming this hovel...

Ps D's has been given a school offer late yesterday- a sink school edge county are opening a Sen unit.hes been out of school 3years,2 arguing needs with school(and signed off by camhs) and this school year hrs been working from home at lea offering,gaining online attendance awards bit doing inappropriate low grade work.CF lead on his EHCP case says inclusion team will be on us of we don't take placement...meet with IASS Friday but tbh I'm completely worn down and all options I wanted are not suitable/full etc

honey Sorry I missed your post earlier, I just dropped my comment and ran. It sucks feeling trapped/ not able to travel and get away. Are you able to do something to treat yourself at all? Pedicure? (even just doing it yourself - I'm not sure what the rules are over there at this point & what's open etc), night away in a hotel?
If you can, try to make your bedroom your sanctuary, no clutter, everything you love, soft blankets etc, and retreat to it when it all gets a bit much. Whatever works for you. Maybe a little spot in the garden, with a chair, or blankets and pillows, or even just spending some time in nature - local park, river, pond, hills etc.
I know that's not the same by any means, and hope you're able to go to your 2nd home soon, but maybe that will help 🤷‍♀️

I managed to do some yoga tonight, which is also good for calming you down, then promptly got in a bit of a bad mood when I had to clean up the kitchen. I feel like I'm doing it all right now and I hate feeling like the maid in the house. Ugh! I am feeling a bit better now that it's all done and I'm in bed, although it's late again, as always and I'll be getting minimal sleep again. 💤 😴

🍒👋 everyone

X post zoo good luck on your decision. I'm sure someone else on here will have better advice for you, but I'm here for support re DS 💐

Morning all,

I have read back through the OP and realised it's full of mistakes, sorry, I was tired.

Anyway, let's start with today's Flight Plan

We are moving into Zone 1, porch, hall, dining room and our mission is to put out the hotspots, these being places where clutter has accumulated eg piles of mail, shoes by the front door etc.

Ourhabit for July is Swish and Swipe

Babystep 1 for the 1st of the month is Shine Your Sink

And Thursday is Day

Oops, didn't do Errand Day. link properly www.flylady.net/d/daily-focus/daily-focus-thursday/

Thanks for links ED

And thanks for kindness people. I was a bit fed up last night. I have occasional, this is relentless, what’s the point pity parties I’m afraid. Usually over a last straw event. Will be ok.

First po3 very unambitious
💪🏼 Get out of bed
💪🏼 Put lol on
💪🏼 Fill dw

I’m then going to return to bed for a while with a coffee. I gave ds my card to buy himself —junk— lunch and got him to take the dog out. He’s gone in a better mood today and been reminded he has to behave in lessons and around school to avoid getting warnings. Hope he pulls it off so he can go out with friends/go on PS4 after school rather than more sulks at not being allowed.

Will do the mission but may do it in 3x5 minute spurts today.

Honey housework is relentless, isn't it. Just when you think you finished, it all rolls around again. I hope you manage to find a spot/time where you can hide into for a touch of sanity time.
Zoo that sounds complicated. I hope you manage to find a workable solution for your DS.

I haven't really been doing much flying lately other than keeping on top of laundry, endless DW rotation/kitchen cleaning, and throwing hoover around. May need to do a bit of zone cleaning today.

Morning all! Thanks for taking on July, ED and liking the new variation on your name - is that also your plan for the month?

Zoo today sounds full-on, as ever. I hope your meeting on Friday can sort out school for DS or make them back off - we are always here if you need to rant or cry or make a plan.

Honey I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It does feel all like too much relentless grind sometimes. I agree with Hazel, if you can't get away, can you make a sanctuary of some sort where you are? Even if you have to chuck everything that doesn't belong there out of your bedroom into the living room? I sympathise with DS-management issues - there are times when you can really tell the frontal cortex isn't finished til they're 25, particularly in boys! Well done for persevering with the doctor, sounds like it was the right thing to do.

Hazel it sounds like yoga is really doing you good, sorry you then had to unwind it to clean the kitchen. It's most unfair that such things should always fall to you. Time for a re-establishment of boundaries?

Dancing hurrah for a clear head, although perhaps not at 3am.

DS1 and partner are now safely ensconced in their flat and playing at being Real Grown Ups. Now we have met partner actually in person, they are lovely and everything we would hope for for DS1 - they fit together very well. And we had a lovely chat about Welsh / Bretonic / Cornish and how they all relate and how interesting it is.

In the meantime, DS2 and his GF have set up their own company with a web presence and flyers and all sorts, while we were in the DPRM. It's all go in the wider world of Willow, I can tell you. Although if you can name a bit of me that doesn't ache, I'll eat my hat.

Plan for today: massive brain dump onto an A0 piece of paper because as far as I was concerned the world stopped yesterday at 7pm.

Ear lobes?

Willow - the name is wishful thinking! Will probably be changed to ExtremelyDisappointed next month . Glad DS1DP turned out to be nice.

Honey - sorry to hear that everything is so difficult at the moment, I have a friend in similar circumstances, teacher, single parent, moved back from abroad for DC's education, elderly parents, I do worry about her.

Zoo - is the proposed school really unsuitable? I don't know what to suggest really, but feel for you and DS.

Hazel - hope the heatwave calms down soon. DD and DH have been watching Loki too, DD said yesterday's was particularly good.

Mc - I got the broodiness within a year too. My DCs are 23 months apart.

Sing - well done on the job application.

Dancing - hope you're OK today.

Foxes - I have just remembered that I will be spending the second half of the month with no kitchen so I might be wanting to compare notes with you. May not be Flying very well by then.

Red 29th is EH delivery day.

Ooh ED I always forget to look at your new name as I just see ED! Love it. I need to follow that rule!

Nothing achieved yet today, except rearranging the day. DH has ordered DD1 a test - she’s not coughing a lot and no temp etc but better safe than sorry. Got my job centre appt changed to a phone call, and then I’ll be tutoring maths by zoom for the first time ever! Scary! But I think it’ll be ok, I just need to send some stuff for his mum to print.

None of that is till the afternoon anyway so I am just lazing ATM. DS has done some work.

Badger big hugs 💐

Thanks to willow and ED

Ok:
-lol done and hung out
-dog walked and animals fed
-wrote cover lessons and sent into school - planning sheets updated
-called chemist to see when I can pick up prescription - they don't keep it in stock so have ordered it and will hopefully be there tomorrow and they'll text me
-tried and failed to get sicknote that has been sent in a text in a really weird format that can't be downloaded to translate into something I can email to school and failed - hoping as the receptionist said that it will be emailed to me otherwise need to call doctors tomorrow and get that sorted
-long chat with neighbours who are moving back to Greece soon
-created a power point for a guide to answering a particular style of exam Q
-caught up with emails
-paid rent
-had a bath and washed my hair
-rescheduled an appointment (not getting on a bus and going to town with dodgy tummy)

That sounds like a lot but isn't really - it's mostly sitting on phone or laptop stuff and the only house thing I've done is a lol really.

Need to make myself do today's mission and do a s&s in the bathroom and think about what to do for dinner.

Zoo - sorry, reading back I worded that badly, it sounds as though I don't believe you when you say the school is unsuitable, what I meant was is it totally unsuitable or is it one you didn't know about or have on your list. IYSWIM.

I have anti-procrastinated! On the wrong day too. I have also done errands. Go me!

Anti-procrastination - I realised a few months ago that I had made a mistake with last year's tax return. I have dug out all the papers and sorted it out this afternoon. Sadly means I will have to pay more tax. Never mind.

Errands - posted a parcel, went to Boots for vitamins, toothpaste etc.

At home -
1 x LOL, dried on the line and brought in before the heavens opened at about 3pm.

Dug out some old bedding to donate to dog rescue
Dusted bedroom
Watered tomatoes in greenhouse
Weeded patio (yes, it was quite bad between the slabs)

I have also been to a class at the sports centre, I rejoined last week after a long absence and it is so much easier to book now, as its all done through an app.

ed don't worry,I've been in these here parts long enough to have taken it as it was intended👍

Washed up loads stuff(serving spoons,cooking utensils etc,dishes that live in tubs,piles on surfaces)as get dusty.dried and returned to homes.never ceases to surprise me how dull they all get just sit around and home much brighter/shinier things look all cleaned up!
Lunch
Half episode criminal mind's with dd2
Pick up lil zoo,stroll home chatting
She's got raging headache and feels bit meh,so ran her a bath (which she's currently wallowing in)
Wants hummus and carrots for snack,so just go chop some veggies

To do scrub dining table,bit more cleaning