Hoarder's Anonymous, Part 6

[Solo]

Well, here we are embarking upon part 6 of our epic journey of sorting out our homes.

We are a varied group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves that makes sorting out our households challenging, to say the least. So...

Anyone and everyone is welcome to join us for support, adding their own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it. Encouragement abounds here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, don't know where to start, can't be bothered but really do want to be bothered...think you are lazy, just need to see it in print here...we'll help. We'll virtually fist bump your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you. Here for one another because we get it - the highs and the lows, the art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #6 of Hoarders Anonymous - Carrying On Sorting It Out

HERE

Yes! The pie maker is awesome, they're very popular over here in Australia :)

I got rid of a small bag of bits to the charity shop.

Washed up. Laundry up to date.

I have a really really bad back which is stopping me from functioning :(

How’s the back today, Solo?

The thread seems quiet these days, I hope everyone is ok.

so sorry your back is poorly solo. I hope you can recover soon and find meds to make it bearable.

I have really struggled to get back on here. the reading the previous posts has been too much until today.

glad you are getting your freedom down. I have been thinking about you being stuck in.

we are accumulating purple and grey post bags at a rate of about one sett a week at the moment. Those in the know will recognise these as the wrappings for postal pcr tests. It has gone a bit crazy here. You should PCR every time you are a contact. The kids are a contact at least once a week. They had bad colds (PCRed for that and the results took five days of school missed) and they missed their vaccinations in school. Trying to arrange some more.

I have been sorting out the understairs cupboard as I needed the bags for the children to go away. This has taken all week and is not yet finished. I have got rid of some stuff though, taken some down to the garage to store temporarily (new shoe boxes, which I keep until the shoes are not going to be taken back if faulty as they have had a reasonable life.) sent some food to ex. sorted the emergency water storage out. (17p water, which will be used to water plants now and has been replaced)

wiped some presents. (need to either wrap or put away. )

mostly just trying to survive. I have been shpping, washing up and washing but not quite enough to be on top of any of that. kids are fed and clean though.

If your local library has a copy of The Year of No Clutter by Eve Schaub, I would highly recommend it. I’m about a third of the way through so far.

I cleaned out my handbag today and got rid of all the old receipts, old tissues, excess of pens etc. I must have done it not too long ago as it wasn’t as bad as usual.

Hello! Can I join? Thanks blackeyedsusan for mentioning this thread. Skimming through and already feeling a bit more enthusiastic about getting on top of this sinking iceberg of a home.
How DO people do it all?

Hello namebunny! It’s been a bit quiet of late. I have no major progress to report but I finished the book A Year of No Clutter and I really enjoyed it; many of her observations really stuck a chord with me.

Hello can I join. A lifetime of abuse and trauma and sudden dawning that I am a huge hoarder. Shocking. I've moved from 5 bedrooms to 3 but I couldn't even walk to my wardrobe never mind cram anything in it.

My hoarding stems from a broken relationship with my parents -wanting to please them. So I have hundreds of books I hate, art I hate and clothes. My mothers palms off her clothes to me (they have a 7 bedroom house and each bedroom has clothes in a huge wardrobe ,floor to ceiling) -everything then gets passes to us -half finished knitting etc. So desperate to have her love -I keep it or anything she says suits me. I have 50 years of stuff.

6 black sacks of clothes went this morning. I told my eldest look through it and see if you want anything and if you wouldn't buy it with your own money -don't take it. She took one top and put 5 back in. She's been begging me to let declutter her books -thousands for years and I've always put it off. For me it's mental health.

Today 6 black sacks of clothes to charity shop -I can get to the wardrobe.
One huge box of books -done
All the baby plastic bowls and plates done

How do you keep the important things? I've kept every bit of school work ever -every activity book -I wanted to show them that I love them. But it's not healthy is it -how do we decide cuddly toys etc -when they all have memories? Help & advice please

This is going to take months -I know that. But I need help please!

Welcome namebunny and IAAP :) There are quite a few threads now that you can pick through if you want to, but you can also just dive in and ask us, give us your tips too.

bunny I have no idea how people do it; I've been trying for years now to get sorted, but I've got to do it.

IAAP ^ I think it's all^ about mental health tbh, and I'm sure that we would all like to have better mental health as hoarding doesn't really have any positive outcome to it, does it? But you sound like you've got off to a great start so be proud of that. I'm sure it's given you a huge boost, so well done.

My back is still terrible, thanks for asking Miaowse and Susan but I'm seeing an Osteopath and hoping for some relief soon. Also using a TENS machine, but the pain has rendered me ineffective at home.

I've just kept up with the laundry (well, the washing and drying part), and the washing up. Dc fed and clean. Dealing with mother. Going to work. I desperately need to get sorted. I'm supposed to be dog sitting next month.

Keep posting, everyone; it's too quiet in here at the moment

Positives… the laundry mountain isn’t too gruesome at the minute and I’m mostly keeping up with running the dishwasher daily. This week is recycling collection and I’m really looking forward to getting the cardboard box pile out of the house. My area offers kerbside collection of small electricals for recycling too, so I’m putting an old speaker out this week. Hope they take it xx

Negatives… I’m still feeling very overwhelmed (SEN stuff plus house) and there is just so much to do that I end up not doing anything. Plus it feels pointless as any small step I take is not going to make much difference. But I do know that it’s progress not perfection and small steps really do add up. Just need to remind myself of that next time I’m feeling stuck.

Hello everyone, it’s so nice to share your experiences. I’m sorry for those having a crap time. I didn’t realise how much house and clutter is so linked to mental state. After illness , and a Dh that was ill and now anxious, I’ve got so scared to spend any money or Throw anything. But I just realised I look awful. And omg, this house is worse than I thought. I’m in the bedroom and wearing..Tatty primark jeans with grease stains.boots with holes and no polish. I haven’t had a haircut since April.in the room is.. A mildewed blind that’s wedged into the window frame with drawing pins. A painted wall where the old paper has come through. It’s also slightly glossy so looks like a mental institution in here. Outside is a HUGE pile of dps shirts that he can’t put in the cupboard. He sleeps on a bare mattress rather than make the bed. Because he’s always tired after Illness. It’s not till I’m looking at it through others eyes I’m like, omg this is AWFUL! What do the kids think?
Thank goodness for this thread! I have high hopes!

Hi everyone. So kind of you to have thought of me during our lockdown! We've had lots of restrictions lifted and DH has been double jabbed so really things are starting to feel so much more normal and hopeful. School has been back for a whole week and it's been so great!

Any progress, even if it's a small amount, is good.

My bedroom needs clearing up and clearing out and sorting.

I can think of a million jobs I need to get on with. I'm gunna get some done this week!

During lockdown I started a jigsaw, but it was too hard. I need to pack it away, it's been in the way for at least two months. I wish I'd packed it away weeks ago but I've been ignoring it. But it's literally in the way!

that's amazing IAAP 6 bags, well done.

school books: I was going to go through them but ex got all sentimental about me chucking htem out so they are now at his house.

anyway I am here to bore you all rigid help me see what I have achieved today:

my house is a bloody mess. I have spent all week faffing over ds's room's decorating... you know the drill , fill and sand, etc. scrape off lose paint. so hours of work with not a lot to show for it but the walls were really awful.

crap , posted too soon:
Kids: 1 breakfast, 2 swimming kits chivvied off to swimming with their dad

bathroom:
so cleaned the bath, outside of loo and sink.
scrubbed paint off the t shirt that was soaking on the basin and put it in a 15 minute wash to try and get rid of the rest of the paint. It will get a proper wash with the orange swim kit tomorrow.
chucked out some loo rolls. (in emergency mode so stuff is just having to go)
picked up one load of washing which is in front of the machinme waiting for that t shirt to finish

kitchen: put the last of the pots away
watered the basil.
picked up cauliflower to put away. (4 days late) (i did say it was a bloody mess) put bag in hall.

living room.
condensed two boxes of lateral flow tests into one box and put in cupboard out of sight.
started taking dirty pots through to kitchen.
put the spare baking trays back into the oven. (cos the kitchen is a mess had no room... )

oh and two baskets of washing taken up to dd's room for dd to put away.

All getting some thigs done, then. That's good!

Me? Laundry washed and hung on the airer. I bought a dehumidifier so I could dry the laundry quicker. It's brilliant!
My back had been feeling better for several days, but the Osteopath today has woken it up, again.

hello, we got tidied up/ shoved everything in our bedroom to have a little do. It’s the first time we’ve invited anyone over in YEARS. I cannot believe how mentally it makes so much difference ! Clean floors! Clean bathroom! Decluttered!
Of course the problem now is the 2 rooms all the crap is in.all over the floor. Aggghhhhh. I am going to..actually part with the stuff in bin bags that’s been in the back of the car for yonks.
Ignore the, ‘what if I need it’ voices! Thanks for the inspiration!

Ps well done blackened! Decorating is really hard going at that stage. And I hope your back is better solo. And well done down uddered and all! Respect !

Popping back on here for the first time in aaaaages (I used to post as RubySlippers!) as the house is really sliding into a grubby pit I had a few months where I was more or less on top of it, but now I'm back at work I just don't have the time to do everything needed every day. Plus DP is the world's laziest man and would rather weld his bum to the sofa every night rather than lift a finger to do anything. I'm just feeling a bit lost really; I've still got a bit of weight to shift but have zero time to meal plan/ cook, and I want the house to look in a reasonable state most of the time as well!

PS that book looks interesting, thank you @Miaowse!

PPS hope your back is better soon @Solo! I'll be back soon to read more of the thread...

Hello Clara! I’d definitely recommend the book by Eve, I read two year of decluttering/less stuff books back to back and this was my favourite by a long stretch. The style reminded me of a writer called Wendy McClure (if anyone likes the Little House books, Wendy’s book The Wilder Life is a brilliant read).

I’m plodding slowly on, trying to get back into the right frame of mind by reading decluttering books and watching YouTube decluttering challenges I think it is kind of working. Today I put 5 unused notebooks and a Your Best Year guided journal in the charity shop bag, plus a few bits of jewellery. My attempt to cull some crayons was foiled by my child getting very upset and taking them out of the bin

What dehumidifier did you get, Solo? Ours was stored for a while and it still works well but has a weird smell now in spite of a thorough clean. I’m coveting a Meaco.

namebunny if you manage to get the charity shop bags out of your house/car please pass on your secret. I have three bin bags and at least two large boxes ready to go but can’t seem to take the final step of actually dropping them at the shop. Don’t feel bad about your space - I think (hope!) it is normal to develop blind spots when you see things every day. If I take a photo I can suddenly see the issues/mess. Strange.

BlackeyedSusan, the decorating and prep sounds very time consuming.

IAAP probably most of us here struggle to know when things can go. I have kept nearly all school work and drawings etc. I would be happy to let quite a bit go but my DH is even more sentimental about this stuff than me.

Today I've made a start on the ten thousand jobs that need doing around the home. I cleaned the bathroom sink. I cleaned the toilet. I sprayed the shower. That'll need scrubbing. I did a big load of laundry and hung it out. I scrubbed out a couple of big tubs that we'd had in the garden. Once they dry I can fill them with soft toys and then put them neatly into a cupboard. I've put lots out in our recycling bin. I'm feeling happy with the progress.

I've tackled smallish jobs that aren't too daunting and I've achieved them and that's perfect for me! I have to feed good afterwards otherwise I get put off trying next time.

Miaowse dehumidifier it works really well and warms the room up too. I've bought a Silentnight one from Lidl for £44, but it's not a desiccant one.

You all know that I'm terrible at trying to remember who said what, so I'm going to try to address what I recall...

My back is a bit better this evening. One more trip to the Osteopath I think, and hopefully, it'll be all good.

I find that taking photographs (for yourself only) of your messy places can allow you to 'see' the problem. I've done this myself in the past and it's quite shocking. Yesterday I didn't use a camera, I just looked at my kitchen and saw it. It's disgraceful. It's not just the kitchen either; it's everywhere, and I just need to start.

I'm doing my best to get rid of the charity bags. And I also paired up a load of socks and gave them to a homeless charity that Dd's school collects for every year, so that was another bag gone.

Welcome back Clara

bunny I bet that felt so good having people around? I've not had anyone inside my home since 2013 except my brother when my kitchen door handle broke shut and I couldn't open it. Actually, that's not quite true, I had a man in to change the stopcock and cleared and cleaned enough to let him in.

I did half the washing up this evening. Fed child.
Time for sleep.

A while back when I was tackling my messy cluttered bedroom I took photos! You do become blind to think mess and the photos made me face up to it. I literally tidied one square meter at a time. I will say after four months of lockdown my bedroom got somewhat messy again. I'm tackling it little by little.

I've put a big load of laundry on today.

I'm honestly hoping my parents can come and visit in December. It just depends on getting them a visa. So I'm using that as a guide to get the house sorted out. I think I have about 7 weeks to make a good effort.