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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

The Hoarders Anonymous #5

992 replies

CherryMargo · 21/03/2021 17:19

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common! Flowers

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

OP posts:
Thread gallery
40
Elleherd · 01/04/2021 09:30

I've always cared about the environment, but also knowing others needed things they couldn't afford, as did I. Those things I learned threw my own eyes, the rest was hammered in.

I grew up in a hoarding situation surrounded by slowly decomposing stuff, but allowed very little. I was also taught to never throw anything out until every last thread of it was used and there really was no further possible use, and especially that food could never ever go to waste. What the item represented was another message that went in deep too.
But it has all totally damaged my life and I internalized the idea that absolutely everything was more important than me. It was just more acceptable.
So I’m going to say my advice to everyone is all things in moderation. Don't end up like I have. It's not a good place to be.

At this point I've had to learn to say 'for the moment, I will do what I can, as best as I reasonably can, but right now I need to put my own needs first.'
It's hard, takes practice, and I'm dealing with lots of guilt over it, but if I don't deal with the situation, eventually someone else will have to instead, and they'll just chuck the lot any old how, and won’t be considering the environment etc, so...

Dustmen did take the tree cuttings but eyebrows were raised.

Yesterday was half a sack of cut up tree, and half a sack of more crushed greenhouse detritus. I'm physically struggling.
Got the detritus out in the public bin, but only just, they’re piled up and entirely full! I’m hopeful that it’s one person doing a house clearance/clean up, going of what I saw happening but had to take the half sack of tree back with me.

Elleherd · 01/04/2021 09:55

Should add: Also five more items out of cupboards disposed of. The oldest item had been hanging around taking up space while waiting for a decision for two decades. Blush

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 01/04/2021 12:20

@Elleherd thanks but I have discounted that option as I have heard of people becoming quite unpleasant if they arrive to find things have gone, even when pickup time arranged, if you don't watch for them coming and opportunistic passers by have grabbed them.

AmberItsACertainty · 01/04/2021 12:32

Elleherd congrats on finally being able to get rid of the thing that's been around for two decades. Thanks for your thoughts on stuff not being more important than you. That was a light bulb moment for me. I used to always believed all people were more important than me and didn't realize I'd applied the same thought to stuff. I was brought up the same to never dispose of something until it was thoroughly used up. I've tackled my messed up thinking around my own importance in the world. Perhaps now I need to do the same in relation to stuff, because if there's one thing I've learned it's that the ideas sold to me as absolute when I was growing up were not always the truth.

AmberItsACertainty · 01/04/2021 12:37

RockingMyFiftiesNot if you're happy to leave things outside you could always try it and see what passers by take by the end of the day, if you have the sort of general items most people would like.

AmberItsACertainty · 01/04/2021 12:37

Without advertising it I meant, so nobody to get annoyed if it's not there.

Nettleskeins · 01/04/2021 12:42

Yesterday was great, visited friend in her garden and had nice long chat. I'm liking the mild easing of restrictions...
However, today feels backed up, somehow...I need to allow myself downtime to recover from all that "socialising". I came home on a high yesterday eve (no alcohol or drugs just adrenalin) and the everyday tidying is eluding me this morning..
im hoping DD will go out to some park and take her loud pop music with her

Today I need to put stuff back in cupboards post tradesmen,
And clean at least one window whilst the ladder is easy to get at.

Garden beautiful but annoying teen has plonked her hammock right in front of the bench where I sit.

I need to go to an apartment in retirement complex, wouldn't it be a relief Blush

BlackeyedSusan · 01/04/2021 13:53

one child got ready for school. two phonecalls to school. one phone call from school.

also 1 hour 15 on wallpaper stripping. (middle and bottom layer)

one load of washing in machine last night has been set going. going to rest now.

Nettleskeins · 01/04/2021 17:43

Cleaned bits of bathroom...skirtings and the door.
Took out the summer clothes. Tbh I should recycle them all...so shabby and depressing. My favourite stretchy skirt from Monsoon has holes where the dog ripped it last season. It is the most comfortable skirt ever though Grin
Not making much progress but kitchen is wiped down and floor swept, recycling out. Laundry brought downstairs.

Took out paint sample pots and found some cream masonry paint I'd forgotten, so that is a good idea ...paint the downstairs sill in alley.
Ds2 has mowed lawn but grumbled a lot.
Next stop weeding the plantains.
Lazy day because the thought of arguing with people who want to "relax" is counter intuitive.
Babies hope your shoulder has improved and you ARE resting and enjoying spring sunshine in some form

Babieseverywhere · 01/04/2021 21:05

RockingMyFiftiesNot If it was easy to declutter, then this thread wouldn’t exist. Slow and steady is the way too go.

notapizzaeater I am so sorry for your loss Flowers Well done, on promising 10 bag to the hospice.

Elleherd I struggle with weight on my lap/legs. It is uncomfortable to painful. But my older kids were home today, so I made them do the majority of the lifting today

Nettleskeins Glad you had a lovely day.

BlackeyedSusan Sounds like you are doing great.

What I have done
Half of the charity pile has been taken. I chickened out and let DH hand everything over. Everything was in labelled carrier bags.

My shoulder is getting better but hurting. I am pleased it is improving, I just need to wait it out.

I have done two more loads of laundry and hung it upstairs on our rack. Third load ready to go in washing machine, but I won’t run it until the upstairs stuff is dry enough to take down.

I had a lazy day, played my computer game. But still kept on top of my kitchen! I am going to make some ‘free from’ mini cheesecakes in it tomorrow Grin

Miaowse · 01/04/2021 21:23

I probably shouldn’t even suggest this @Nettleskeins but I’ve managed to buy replacements on eBay when my favourite ever items of clothing have worn out. I’ve bought several skirts and jackets and a jumper too. There are others I was unable to track down. Rather goes against the spirit of the thread though!

BlackeyedSusan · 01/04/2021 23:18

Sounds about right for a very Neurodiverse thread though.

So many people getting so much done!

Well, I've finally managed it, the fridge has been tetrised...a big box of salad and a big box of fruit divided between two houses, (one bubble) and our part is in the fridge! Yay!

But I have some leftover curry to fit in the fridge, noooooo....

Sorting the veg box took ages.

Solo · 01/04/2021 23:58

Notapizzaeater I'm really sorry for your loss. Flowers
Babies I hope your shoulder is getting better. Mine is dreadfully painful, so you have my sympathies with that.

I haven't done anything today since coming home from work. I'm off now until a week Monday, and I'm hoping to do a bundle!

Solo · 02/04/2021 00:09

Just a thought; and nobody that would rather not has to participate, but I wondered about whether we could/would/should say how bad we think our homes are in terms of clutter and the like. For me, I think out of a possible 10 (10 being the worst, 0 being good)...
Clutter 9
Untidy9
Dirty house 8
Holding onto things of emotional value 15 (I know!).
Really bad at throwing things away that could be of use 15
Procrastination 10
How embarrassing!
I must do better.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/04/2021 00:41

I have the same 15s as you

Clutter about 10
Untidy 10
Dirty4
Procrastination 5
Disability brain fog5
DIY SOS score: 7

Yep it's shit. Been in denial

AmberItsACertainty · 02/04/2021 01:39

Ah you've all been busy. I went for a walk in the park today, a fine way to procrastinate.

My house scores

Clutter: 2 if we're talking pointless stuff which needs to exit the building, 8 if we're talking stuff that would be better stored/displayed in a more spacious area which doesn't exist because everywhere is full

Untidy: 3 I'm good with storage solutions and putting things away.

Dirty: 0 I have a weekly routine now. If I run out of time, I do that area first the next week.

Holding Onto Things Of Emotional Value: 20! (because I attribute value to everything, my stuff is like a friend and I feel sorry for it if I put it in the bin which makes me sound crazy )

Throwing Away Things That Could Be Of Use but probably won't : 10

Buying Stuff I Don't Need but really want and have nowhere to put: 8 this is probably my biggest problem

Procrastination: 7 I get overwhelmed

A tip for anyone who needs it. Maybe people with half bottles of whatever to use up? Do you know you can put just about anything in the washing machine and as long as you use a suitable quantity (less than you think) nothing bad happens? Things my clothes have been washed in when I run out of washing powder and money: Dettol, Flash, Fairy Liquid, dog shampoo, horse shampoo, human shampoo, stain remover.

DownUdderer · 02/04/2021 02:02

I wiped down the rest of my window sill, I put together a flat pack bench. My bedroom is getting much closer to being tidy and neat and clean. I'm feeling hopeful that this bedroom can be tidy.

DownUdderer · 02/04/2021 05:48

Clutter in my kitchen : 5
Clutter in my bedroom : it was definitely 10, it's 5 at the moment and I'm aiming for 2.

Untidy : 5 or 6
Getting rid of things that are useful : 8
Procrastinating : 7

Miaowse · 02/04/2021 10:28

There is a huge amount of shame which makes it hard to be objective - I feel I’m a 9-10 but objectively looking at the the clutter scales used for diagnosing hoarding disorder I’m much much lower.

hoardingdisordersuk.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/clutter-image-ratings.pdf

Ignoring the clutter scale ratings and instead using my own marks out of ten I would say:

Clutter: 9

Hanging onto sentimental things: 3 (way improved, used to be an 8 or 9)

Hanging onto stuff because I don’t know what it is/I worry I’ll need it: 10

Untidy: 10

Dirty: 6 - I keep on top of laundry, washing up, cooking, cleaning toilets and sinks etc but there is dust everywhere and it’s hard to clean around/under clutter

Procrastination: 10

BlackeyedSusan · 02/04/2021 11:17

Right, bank holidays, time to tackle some of this muck.

Aims:
Go to Good Friday stations of the cross outside church
Wash up (+clean sink area)
Two loads of washing
Wipe all shopping and put as much away as possible
Keep kids alive and emotionally regulated.
Take out the recycling.
This is ...

Update:

Can't remember what this is was going to be... needed to go somewhere and as I was off my arse I went and started so

Sink, draining board and soap dish cleaned
Washing up started some dried and put away.
One load of washing in the machine
Bin bag in bin and some rubbish put in it.
One DC given last of Pepsi and bottle chucked in recycling bag. (Routine of having pop for breakfast so will drink before school)

DD has been sent upstairs with some of her milk. Tomorrow's job labelling it and putting it away.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/04/2021 11:19

New Bottle of squash was put in the cupboard in the empty space.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/04/2021 12:35

Just having a rest.
Given DC breakfast
Collected and delivered the dry washing to DD to put away
Hung one load of wet washing
Washed up more and put away.
Wiped some shopping,(one bag full) some milk sent upstairs with dd
Wiped cooker top and adjacent small piece of work surface and trivet.
Wiped round bathroom basin and hair tie DD had left. Threw it into her room where it hit her leg and left a soapy circle on her leg, oops.
Wondered why the police had blocked our road with a couple of
Their cars.

Hips are sore so sitting on my backside again. Next load of washing can wait until I need to go upstairs to collect it.

AmberItsACertainty · 02/04/2021 14:02

I sold a thing and they've collected it and it's GONE. Yay! Oh the relief. It was one of 4 things hanging on a hook in the hallway, only one of which I intend to keep.

Elleherd · 02/04/2021 14:56

Situation here’s a bit odd as we’re living in part building site post flooding and clearing into storage to enable work. (crippling amount of storage) Reaction to childhood means I can’t not keep it clean, but it's at the expense of other things.
The majority of ‘stuff’ here is boxed, hung, shelved, stored, and hidden, but much is clutter, just hidden away so less visible, but killing me slowly. We have far more stuff than in the scale 9’s pics, but their images are of unorganized chaos including litter. Here it’s better organized and kept clean, but that just allows for more.

Clutter 10 - if you include storage: it’s seriously off the scale. Sad
Untidy 4 – Storage 6/7
Dirty house 3 (mainly clean, but issues with waterlogged wallsmildew)
Dirty unkempt garden 8
Holding onto things of emotional value 10 +
Bad at throwing things away that could be of use 8 (was 10)
Procrastination 7/8
DIY SOS score: 9
Buying/acquiring unneeded stuff 1 (was 10)

Elleherd · 02/04/2021 15:00

About to stop procrastinating and go see if public bins have been emptied or not.