The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Elleherd So much painting. Hope you don’t have a sewer flood again! Yes, adopt a cat to nap with, they are exceptionally good company. I agree with your comments, I weep after finishing my PIP form, as it isn’t me, just a collections of things I can’t do

Solo Big items of furniture are so difficult to built and move. Hope your daughter enjoys your vintage clothes. I would love them, if I was a few decades younger and thinner.

BlackeyedSusan I feel for you, with all the hospital appointments. I hope the diagnosis helps you. (((hugs)))

DownUdderer Thank you for your kind words. I am trying to make up from almost a year of struggling, illness and barely no housework! It is hard going and I only post on days when I actually do something. When I am quiet, I had a bad day, lol.

Sorry to hear about your family issues. Glad you are relieved and many miles away from the source of the turmoil.

What I have done
I have done most of my daily jobs and kept my kitchen tidy!

I spent the rest of the day up to my neck in the boxes in the dining room. I created three bags of rubbish in the hall for DH to take to the tip. I cleared the dining room table completely, which hasn’t happened in months!

The rest of the stuff I have placed together in groups, pencils, sand, paint, stickers etc. At the weekend I will go though it with DC3 & DC4 and hope to generate more binbags for the tip.

I also found a box under all the others of stuff that I had already decided to send to charity/tip. But I had lost it amongst the others, daft me.

I am exhausted and intent to do nothing other than my basic jobs tomorrow. I need a chill out day.

Down sorry you’re dealing with horrid relatives, but good if they’ve brought it to a situation where you don’t have to any more.

Solo I don’t know if this is unique to our wonky plumbing, but I found that repeat plunging with the toilet brush lowers the water level considerably, allowing limescale remover to be applied neat and left to work it’s magic. (hope this is true for all not just ours!)

I’m a little the worse for wear in every sense, but I’ve earned it! I’m in so much pain that I’ve self medicated. Contractors are here tomorrow so whatever isn’t done, has to stay that way. Exhausted and not looking forward to it, though once it’s done I’m sure I’ll feel better. Then it’s a fortnight to go before every room needs to be accessible for next set of contractors!
Hospital ward management have been in touch to say the plan now is to move GA to a “step down hospital.” Basically, they’re saying she’s medically well enough, but the combination of age and damage means she’s not able to safely look after herself and she’s “bed blocking” by not allowing them to see her home, (I just said it wasn’t well set up as she forbade me to give details) so they want her to go there. It’s supposed to be a level between a hospital ward and a care home, but not a hospice. Fingers crossed for everything to be ok for everyone.

Good luck with your GA's situation Elle.

Inspired by you all I've been watching programmes like Sort your life out where people tackle mammoth decluttering sortouts in no time at all with tonnes of help. Watching them feels like a dirty secret. I do feel empathy for the clutterer/hoarder; I feel judgement towards the people who wade through their stuff so quickly, but also of course total awe at their energy and vision.

Well thus inspired I did take some Lego, games and kids clothes to a real life charity shop today.

Elle it sounds like your GA has a clutter problem too (no need to talk about it, though). It also sounds like she's to go into one of the rehabilitation wards which was what my mum had to do for several weeks and at two different places after the initial hospital stay. Hopefully, your GA will be well enough to get back home, soon.

Toilet isn't bad at all. I'm going to chuck a load of cleaner down it again tomorrow morning.

Today, I've done a wash load. Picked up a few things in the lounge, so not much today, at all.

I've dropped three bags to the charity shop. I had intended to drop them off a couple of weeks ago but didn't. So they've been playing on my mind, and of course now they're gone I'm hugely relieved.

I've bough three plastic boxes to aid organization. They are always useful. I also bought a new houseplant. Most of the houseplants I've been buying are doing ok, I absolutely love having them in the house and I'm just slowly accumulating them.

I looked at fabrics today. I need to think about measurements and colours. So I'm still a bit undecided.

How very strange, I could have sworn BlackeyedSusan and Babies posts weren’t there when I posted!

Susan That’s a novel way to dust! Well done getting it all working again.

Babies There’s also all the unintended painting, such as my skirt, sweatshirt and hair, as well as a tarpaulin under me. ! I’m painting from a seated position sometimes with long poles, and there’s been quite a few mishaps!
Well done on the stuff ready to get out and the excavation of the dining room table!
I wouldn’t push your body harder than it will cope well with, I’m only doing it because there’s such high potential for an even worse situation happening if I don’t. If I could go slower, I absolutely would.
ChilliedI’ve not seen Sort your life out, but a lot of those programs aren’t quite what they seem. Having said that I have found watching them is sometimes helpful. Well done getting stuff out to the charity shop.

Solo GA is rather cluttered, but it looks like during lockdown she’s given up on putting things away and cleaning. It's had all sorts of effects on people.
Thank you for the information about rehabilitation wards. They haven’t mentioned any sort of rehabilitation, just a less ‘medicalised’ atmosphere, but if that’s what they’re planning it sounds sensible. Good the toilet’s rewarding you for the work!

Down Glad your plants are settling in happily and the chairs have turned out well.

Today was bundling things into rooms horribly, and looking after contractors. I have an awful lot of clearing up to do, but also a bathroom floor again!

The quickest was to get limescale off was with home made HCl. Unfortunately being sick is not a method I would like to repeat and prefer to stick with to domestos limescale.

Ds has swapped the keyboard back. It seems to work ok.

I have spent time exercising by gardening which gives me a lot more exercise than walking as I can do more gardening than walking. Lots of different movements and a lot less painful on the hips. Lots of things are sore but it is a good post exercise sore rather than dodgy hips sore.

In the flat: some recycling cleared from work surface to the box.
Some pots put away
Some washing up done
Lots of washing done. (Three loads)

Also the usual, getting not up, breakfasted and both taken to school.
Drink snacks taped feet (verrucas) and meds for boy
Some emotional regulation for DC
Tea cooked

Good luck with contractors.

Yes, good luck with the contractors, so stressful having them in the home.

I went out and bought fabric today. Then I set about cutting it and I found I'd been given the incorrect measure of fabric, it was short by 80cm. So back I went and got it rectified. It was an extra faff, but these things happen. I've finished the cutting and I've done some pinning. I think I'll do some sewing tomorrow. I have watched a YouTube video on sewing velvet.

I have cleared off the table and cleaned it, I needed it for fabric cutting! I've also done a large load of laundry and hung it out.

Almost every room is seeming better now. For so long I'd been feeling too blocked to be able to tackle any room. Now I'm really seeing progress and it's such a relief. There's still plenty of jobs to get done but I'm not as defeated by it all.

yay down, great progress.

so children are with their dad until monday night. lots of eating sleeping playing on my phone, buggering about on mumsnet and cleaning.

I have started by stripping ds's bed and put one load of washing on.
also sorted out the clothes horse so there are clothes around the room airing on furniture and space to do more laundry.
packed the kids swimming bags and their weekend bags.
this weekend is aboput respite so I am having a coffee then hanging up laundry then having a nap.

Velvet curtains! Down, how gorgeously sumptuous! What colour have you bought? Velvet is notoriously difficult to sew unless you are 15/16 and just get on with it. My very first job was in a curtain shop, and because I could sew already, the boss had me doing alterations. I thought nothing of it at the time! Tell us about yours, please!
I got some second-hand proper, quality, old velvet curtains from Freecycle years ago to do things with in my orange, black, cream/white bedroom. They are a gorgeous orange colour. I'm not putting them at the window, I'm going to turn them into a bed runner (or maybe a bedsread), and bedside rugs, I think. I might get cold feet about doing something so...ordinary with such luxury. I wonder how many more years it'll take me to sort out the mess :(

I laid in this morning.

Yesterday before I left for work, I was ahead of time, so I washed up.
I've just put a load of laundry in. And I need to put dinner into the slow cooker.

I hope GA gets a nice place to rehabilitate, Elle. And I hope things are okay with the contractors, too.
Susan I hope you have a good weekend, with plenty of rest.

I'm still staring at these bags for charity, rag, and stuff to sell, so well done for getting yours out of the house Down.

I've just booked 10 days of self-catering on the east coast in Norfolk for Dd and me. I hope I am able to get a new (to me) car before we go.

My keyboard was doing some weird stuff just then, so I had to post and hope I wouldn't lose it all. Phew!

I love house plants. I love a nice garden too, but I want someone to do it, and look after it for me.

today:
packed weekend bags
packed swim bags
fed dc breakfast
dry washing sorted and taken up to be put away.
two loads of washing put on
lots of moving about wet washing to get it to dry in the sun quicker.
started wiping up the mess dd has left on the table.
tidied the PE kit cupboard.
found a hook and screwed it into the architrave to hang dds dressing gown behind her door.
thrown away an old sun screen
I would have like to get more done but I have been waiting to have a nap as ex was supposed to bring home the swimming kit... then didn't. I am really tired so going to rescue this load of washing and then a quick nap.

I've been sewing today. My sewing room is too messy to work in there. I moved the sewing machine and table out of that room. For me to get a certain thing done I can't just sit down and do it, so many things have to be moved before I can even start. The house is much better than it was, but so much more needs to be done. I'm just feeling annoyed today.

I'm stressed and anxious that's what it is, so when that happens everything feels too much, too annoying and too difficult. I've got some results coming through to the doctor and I'm anxious about it. Appointment is monday lunchtime.

I hoovered my room today and picked some bits up off the floor and organised a few little bits.

I've been sewing this velvet. Everything I read told me how difficult it can be to sew, and it certainly is! It's blue and it's a really lovely colour. I will go out and buy different thread and a different needle this week.

also can't do anything without hours of work to find the place I need to do stuff in. good luck with the curtains.

You're all doing so well with the cleaning and decluttering. It's good to be amongst such dedicated people.

Elleherd I'm glad your GA is out of the main hospital.

I've not achieved much this week. Added a book to the donations pile yesterday. I've had a change of mindset, which I think is perhaps the most useful thing of all. I started looking into all this because I sometimes felt panicked about the amount of stuff I have. Today I've realized that if I'm reading it's not a waste of time because if I decide not to keep the book after, reading a chapter brings me one step closer to getting it out of the home. Same with long baths. I'm not just getting clean, I'm using up the beauty haul and bringing myself one step closer to a peaceful bathroom. So now I'm seeing not buying additional items as an act of self care, which is kinda the opposite of how it was before my mental shift. Like I somehow saw buying myself stuff for a treat as separate from the issue of my home getting filled up and now I'm seeing the connection at the point of purchase. I feel like this time the changes might be permanent and I won't start buying again after the decluttering. Fingers crossed anyway.

Amber that is a good approach ...I like the feeling of using things properly rather them just being possibilities, and therefore responsibilities in a bad way.

Solo, I'm so glad you have booked a holiday

Down, I'm in the middle of altering another pair of curtains. Keep us updated!

I'm not doing much except gardening ATM, still clearing this veg patch. A little a day, and I try not to feel bad if I don't get far each day, slowly I'm seeing progress

Is it me or is it normal to start loads of tasks to keep myself motivated? Eventually they are all completed but I find sticking with one task for too long makes me frightened!!! Fear of not finishing perhaps, whereas if I do several things simultaneously in small chunks I don't feel anxious. Mad perhaps...

Susan Hope you’re getting some respite in amongst it all.

Down Udderer I hope tomorrow rings you peace, and your curtains bring you joy. Yours too Solo. (admits to some stashed velvet too!)

Amber GA’s not actually moved yet, though think it’s imminent.
Mental shifts are a vital part of all of this and making the connection at the point of purchase is indeed progress. Well done.

Nettleskeins No idea if it's mad, but I do it too! A lot of it for me is to make sure if I come to a halt or find I'm not managing something well, I can just turn my attention elsewhere for a bit, so I'm still making progress overall.

I have to be cautious what I say on here as I can’t afford the off chance of things connecting up, but basically contractors have been a disaster. The job’s really badly bodged, and damage done in the process. I was really confused at first, as lots of things didn’t quite make sense, but I’ve now gone onto youtube, and it appears they actually had no idea how the job should be done and the evidence of it’s been left in plain sight.
It’s the equivalent of having a dressmaker hand you a Jersey dress saying they’d had to work overtime to finish it.
You're grateful but when you look closer, the seams are on the outside, and poppers are stitched onto them at random intervals to try and flatten them. Then realizing they’d cut the material wrong, they stretched a part, creating a weird shape, and tearing the other end. So they’d darned across the tears, and added a random piece of other material at the other end and darned that onto the main piece, well apart from the last few inches which they just left a hole in.
I feel sick because I’m going to have to tell their boss who’s previously told me he’s sending out their best ‘dressmaker’, that I know seams aren’t supposed to be visible, and putting poppers on them doesn’t make it ok, or any of the other ‘modifications’ that have left me with something that technically is a ‘dress’, but its wearability comes down to if you think its wearer matters or not.

Outside of working out what's wrong, I've got very little beyond pet duties done yesterday or today, aside from a small bag of recycling. It did involve letting go and emptying out contents, so a small win in the midst of what feels like a lot of steps backwards.

Elle :( that sounds horrendous! That's always my fear too that I'll get a cowboy contractor in. It happened when I picked a 'tree surgeon' from Check-a-trade or whatever it's called. Absolute nightmare. He had no idea what he was doing and damaged my neighbor's property. And I had to leave a good review because he knew where I lived!

Nothing done today. Went shopping for mum. She had done the dinner, mostly, I just had to do a few bits. I changed her bed linen, and put a load of washing on for her.

I had a bad migraine yesterday and ended up sleeping for a couple of hours because of it. So this weekend has not been very productive.

@DownUdderer Have you got a walking foot for your sewing machine? That would probably help a lot.

I’m very impressed by the sewing prowess on this thread.

What a nightmare Elleherd I really hope you can get it resolved quickly with the contractors without too much further stress or expense.

I haven’t done much the past couple of days but today I filled my garden waste bin. I’m covered in grazes and scratches and expect I’ll be very stiff tomorrow from the digging and crouching over.

My kitchen surfaces remain clearer than usual, but I’m still far from my ultimate goal of having nothing bar a few small appliances and a pot of utensils on the work surfaces.

I moved a lot of books and miscellaneous clutter from the top of the fridge into a cardboard box so I can sort through it and find more suitable homes for the stuff we’re keeping (most of it). There’s still a lot up there but it’s a start.

Along the same lines as Amber I’ve been making an effort to read books received as gifts that I wouldn’t necessarily have chosen for myself. As expected I have decided to pass several onto the charity shop. I’m quite enjoying the latest one so may pass that to a friend instead.

My results were fine. What a relief. I really had my knickers in a twist waiting for them.

I'm using a walking foot for my sewing machine, I've been and bought new needles and thread.

Where Nettles has mentioned doing more than one job, I really struggle with finishing jobs! I can do a pretty good effort but finishing off completely seems beyond me! So I definitely flit from one to the next.

Sorry to read about the terrible tradesmen. Such a pain.

I think the worst thing I do is put things in a box or bag and tell myself I'll sort it later. I never sort it later! It's just me churning. But sometimes finding the perfect place for something is just me procrastinating, I can't find the perfect place for it so I dither.