#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

No, not entirely true, car stuff is in a car file and house and tax and medical stuff are in other files. But my I'd documents give me such grief,!!

Welcome, @1sunnyday23, @notapizzaeater and @Satsunday!

@notapizzaeater my deepest condolences for the loss of your DH. I wish you the strength to sort through his belongings.

@Elleherd I’m 100% with you on this one: “One of my big fears is something happening to me before I’ve sorted things out. I don’t want my issues to become my loved one’s problems”. On my worst days this thought is the only thing that keeps me going.

Elle wow, well done you.

Couple of people have mentioned old clothes that don't fit.

In spite of being short of space, I kept most of mine and I got back into them.

I have various health issues and that does mean my weight can vary so
I guess it's different than if you actually don't think the clothes will be used.

Sone of my clothes are shabby but in the standard weather we have here, I wear an infinity scarf which draws the attention! My summer clothes aren't shabby because they only get used two months a year really.

I have done about an hour today and order is emerging.

I don't tend to worry about someone else dealing with it but that's probably due to it being a small flat and therefore limiting. I have been hard on myself in this thread I think but generally when people come by they see a clean tidy flat because all the crap is in the spare room, or the half room as I call it, but now that serves as an office.

Welcome new people. Condolences to notapizzaeater. I'm sure it's extremely hard getting rid of/sorting out someone else's things.

I'm still procrastinating. I had been doing well for a few days and now I'm burying my head in the sand.

Actually I've been keeping on top of lots of jobs and I'm pleased with myself in that regard. Clean school uniforms, nice dinners. I'm on top of various admin jobs. I'm getting things organized for my DD's birthday next week. I went and watched sports day on Friday at DD's school (we're in Australia).

But I'm not managing the extra things that need sorting out and it's really annoying me. I know it's wasted energy to be annoyed about it!

Hello...found my way over from chat thread.

Autistic, hypermobile, fatigued, disorganised single parent of two autistic hypermobile children, signing in for support.

I particularly like the first two posts on this thread which show a level of understanding I have never seen before.

Nettle...I am still married as I have lost the marriage certificate and don't have the energy to even start on anything else required. I have not even had the energy to look in the places it could be.

Hi Susan.

I saw the fruits of some boring work today. I had a couple of life admin tasks to do, delayed from this morning as I couldn't face them.....took half an hour and the computer didn't play up at all, yay.

Reading through between bursts in the kitchen. Spent two and a bit days since DD went back to school enjoying the peace and sleeping. Now everyone is back, traffic is shit and we have to be earlier than when just ds was going. However, I managed the Friday tidy. Aka, shit the shopping is being delivered today and I have to open the front door and people will see in. Yesterday: put the previous week's shopping off the stairs, hoovered hall and kitchen, having tidied the floor a bit. Washed up a full rack...took down the recycling bag, sorted shopping into mine and ex's, wiped shopping (autism not covid) put most of it away (fridge Tetris) wiped hall cupboard front, understairs door, radiator and one side of the mucky living room door. Today I have recleared the stairs of yesterday's shopping, thrown away two plastic boxes I have been using for plant trays but have been on the floor for a couple of months because I wanted them but don't really need more than four! Wiped the front of the washing machine, put some shopping away, wiped most of the rest that was on the floor, hung up two loads of washing, wiped inside door seal, made ds breakfast lunch and drinks. I need to set washing machine to rinse...clean the sink wash up and cook. Then that's it. Tomorrow will be rest day but will need school shirts washed cooking childcare and washing up!

Try again. Bloody phone!

Congratulations on cooperating computer

Hi Susan, just putting shopping away is quite a issue in our house. There doesnt.seem to be space or? A cupboard needs "cleaning out" or I just lose track of what im storing. It often feels easier to leave the groceries "out", but im learning to try and put them away.

Today.I tidied worktops in kitchen and sowed some more seeds in my "tidied" greenhouse.

The glass demi john has gone to my friend and the preserving pan is staring me down had covidbjab yest so not sure but I dont feel as bad as others have, so I may get started soon.

Threw out some catalogues, also put all the stationery in one big bowl. Can never find a ruler atm. Cos they are."scattered"!

@BlackeyedSusan welcome and well done on getting such a lot done. I had some shopping delivered earlier but didn’t get around to clearing out the old stuff first so the fridge is jammed and there is definitely some far beyond it’s prime stuff at the back.

How frustrating about the marriage certificate. When I was doing a passport application last year I ended up paying for new birth and marriage certificates as I couldn’t find the originals in the teetering piles of papers/mountains of filing boxes. Very frustrating as every time this happens (having to buy a duplicate) it’s just exacerbating the problem of too much stuff.

@Nettleskeins your idea of a clear box in a visible place is a good one. I’ve just remembered that when we went for a covid test recently we had to bring the passports and I’m pretty sure they are still in the rarely used rucksack we took with us so I must remember to retrieve them and return them to the usual place.

@notapizzaeater I’m so sorry to hear about your DH. Sending you lots of strength and good wishes. It must be a very emotional and overwhelming process. Is there anyone IRL who can help with the sorting?

@Satsunday I donated about 15 binbags plus multiple boxes of books/kitchen stuff to charity last year. A lot of it I’d hung onto for ages thinking I might list it on eBay but in the end I just cut my losses and hopefully the charity will raise some much needed funds. If you have registered for gift aid they email to tell you how much they raised by selling your stuff, so I’ll be interested to see what it says this year (though the shops have been closed for so long it might not be much). It was a big relief to just get it out of the house, but because lots of it was from stuffed cupboards it didn’t make a huge difference visually.

@Elleherd I have completely the same worries about something happening and someone else having to sort my house.

Hello to any other new joiners I’ve missed. My phone sometimes loses messages if I scroll up and down too much.

Blimey, people have done so much. Susan well impressed with you doing the door seal, I will put that on my list.

It will just be basic maintenance for me the next days, Monday will be a particularly long work day. I did build the longer work days into my idea of having the sorting done by end March so that's fine. Work a bit unpredictable at mo.

Thanks everyone for the welcome and replies about whether to just sell things.

Does anyone else have a problem with buying stuff? I need to get rid of things but I buy things online instead. I don't spend a lot but it seems to make me happy while I'm browsing and choosing things. I even have a collection of decluttering books (mostly unread or half read). The irony .

@Satsunday

Thanks everyone for the welcome and replies about whether to just sell things.

Does anyone else have a problem with buying stuff? I need to get rid of things but I buy things online instead. I don't spend a lot but it seems to make me happy while I'm browsing and choosing things. I even have a collection of decluttering books (mostly unread or half read). The irony .

I don't but my old flatmate did I ca definitely see if you've got the space and the cash, it would be easy to do.

It's a dopamine hit, you need to find a different way to achieve that.

Nettleskein I'm afraid the appearance of resilient calmness is probably more resignation than heroism.
That and the knowledge there are far bigger problems to fix and although it will bring more unwanted attention, I didn’t cause it!

I'm also running around in pretty shabby clothes, partly because of lockdown weight gain, partly because I don't want to wreck good ones with the sort of things I'm doing at the moment, -and partly- well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

BlackeyedSusan hello. I’ve not been here long but I’ts a thread full of people who know there isn’t some simple fix and thought needs to be applied as well as action.

Satsunday I used to have a shopping and an acquiring problem, the edges are still there, but have most of it relatively under control. I first I stopped going to shops for anything other than essentials until I could trust myself (mainly round so called ‘bargains’) ie if you don’t buy it now you won’t be able to afford it/obtain it at another time) and stopped looking on the internet entirely for a time. It was very hard and often weirdly upsetting but I think the later was because it highlighted how I’d been spending a lot of my time. There were a lot of issues to face around the ‘habit’ as well as the thing itself.

Friday I didn’t find the missing books, but did find the documents, which means I have the means to start on two things that are causing money losses and stress.
Clear box doesn’t work well here (there’s been a couple) as it becomes an instant surface and gets buried! (not by me) Things get taken out and then because there’s no access to the box without clearing they don’t get put back. I’ve picked up a two-drawer filing cabinet (no handles, annoyingly but sortable) which I’m determined to use.
Yesterday I kept getting 503 trying to get in here.
I started on the lock up I have to be out of by Thursday. Unfortunately most of it will be just moving stuff but whatever I can chuck en route I will. One large sack and two carrier bags out. (only another 999 to go!)

Satsunday, it is definitely a dopamine hit.
I have now developed the opposite problem, fear of buying things in case I get hooked again. And then not buying presents or even groceries except in a slightly crazed throw it all in the basket way.

I think it is also something to do with decision making, which of course the thing hoarders find so overwhelming. Making any decision feels "wise", makes us feel empowered and in control...sadly sometimes we get that emotion linked with purchasing decisions.

Marmalade in progress. Ive had help cutting up the peel

Ive also made a start on the roll of curtain fabric which takes up so much space. Ive measured the lengths, found a tape measure in process, and the cotton reel and curtain hooks. So could throw away the big cardboard roll inner.
Dd has been sorting her room and on my advice put some of her excess clothes in a bag in the loft (winter things) it is a bit better now, she was very depressed by it but claimed she liked "stuff all around me; its cosy". Still a life in progress, I cant really object

We've a charity bag collection tomorrow so I've got three bags ready to go 😀

I have 11 pots of marmalade made! Everything is covered with marmalade....I feel Paddington would be quite at home here, an almighty mess has ensued...still, that is an end to jampot collection which had no purpose...

Can you just luck it clean?

I did not intend to do any cleaning today but disability had other ideas.

Lick, doh

Nettle can you make curtains? Great skill to have.

not that's good

susan hope you're okay.