#4 - Hoarding, Sorting, Organising, Friendship, Understanding. All On One Thread.

[Solo]

Are you a hoarder? Are you in a mess, untidy, disorganised? A bit lazy with housework? Are you are ill and not coping with the housework? Are you totally overwhelmed? Are you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason and can't let them go? Are you unable to just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or do dread the meter reader asking for access?
Do you find yourself nodding whilst reading any of this? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please come and join us. There is no judging. We have something in common here and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite! Welcome to thread number 4.

I've cleaned half the bathroom floor. Half is better than not doing it all! I have to trick myself into doing it, and avoid perfection and I'm finding that it's working. I'm terrible for really feeling like "I don't even know where to start" and then feeling paralyzed and jobs don't get done. I've avoiding thinking this by just trying to jump in and do something, then I can build on the progress. I've taken more recycling out to the big bin and I'm almost completely on top of it all. I've completely cleaned my bedside cabinet, it looks great! I'm glad it's done.

Brilliant Downudderer.
Felt a bit demotivated this morning....just wanted the mess to go away by itself...didn't have the heart to do much.
But then went for long walk and it appears I can do a few simple tasks on my return, like wash the dog's paws (very muddy) hang up towels and put the recycling in the outside bin, plus milk bottles.

Today I need to sweep the front garden of deep leaves. This has been something I've avoided for a year. Partly because I also need to wash front door, porch, empty compost, find bigger pot for baytree, drive to b & q for pot...hence my mind goes round in circles thinking bucket of soapy water, no, drive car, no get secateurs for vine, no just sweep up!!!!

So today I'm am JUST sweeping up and not getting distracted by other negative thoughts.

Swept front path.

I know just what you mean about getting distracted when doing jobs @DownUdderer and @Nettleskeins. Honestly once the DC go back to school, my to do list is so long that I'm already daunted by it!! The house desperately needs a good clean and tidy after the DC being at home 24/7 for weeks on end but it's depressing to think how much work I'll have to put in just to get back to where I was pre-Christmas

One thing I say to myself quite often as well as "just bloody get up and do something" is "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" - I may not be able to get the kitchen sparkling clean within one day, but I could get it maybe 60% done, and that would be 60% better than yesterday.

Anyhow it has been a beautiful sunny weekend here, the DC have had plenty of exercise and I've turned a blind eye to all the desperately required cleaning, hope everyone else has had a lovely time

Today I've cleaned the whole bathroom floor. It felt easier to start because I'd already done half the other day. I found some bottles that needed recycling. And I've scrubbed a pile of bath toys. A few older bath toys have been binned.

I've picked up a huge pile of soft toys and tidied them into a box.

I've taken recycling out to the big bin.

I gave out bathroom sink a quick swish.

I've washed some laundry and hung it out to dry.

I've got lots of rooms to sort out and cupboards and goodness knows what else, but I'm really just putting one foot in front of the other.

Ok, I've just swept up under the dining table. I've wiped up some marks on the tiles. Normally I get a bit stuck on getting it perfect, I would get out some soapy water and scrub the floor! This time I'm feeling happy that I've done a job that needed doing, it looks good but it's not perfect! I can look at it again tomorrow if I want!

I've put a load of towels in the washing machine.

I've hung out my towels. I've put away two clean sheets.

I've been reading about clutter-blindness! I am totally blind to my bedroom being a huge mess! I hadn't realized it was a thing! I know I can ignore things that are not organized, but I'm really trying to open my eyes now!

I'm just tackling things in a small non-overwhelming way at the moment.

You are giving me hope today DownUdderer...really not feeling the Monday love and have already missed my slot at the.tip for recycling (have to book it online)'because I mislaid my glasses.
However, now I am going to wipe the kitchen down, briefly, and go back to the front garden bits and bobs!!
Luckily ive been for my dog walk.

Ive havent seen my bedroom in daylight for weeks now, very much avoiding the hoovering and dusting up there, although I do the laundry, bed etc. Grotty is not the word. It wouldnt take long as it is relatively uncluttered apart dh clothes and books about which I can do NOTHING! But it seems a long way up to the top floor and Im too tired

@DownUdderer you are on a roll! @Nettleskeins good job with sweeping the leaves, that's on my to do list too, along with rake and mow the lawn.
Jewellery sort out continues, my new bangle box arrived today and is looking good. I ordered the dragon box, so I need to brace myself and chuck out the broken box.
I don't bother with makeup or perfume, but I do like shiney things. I've cut down the collection a lot but there's still quite a few pieces. I never wear any of it at the moment because of the kids! Just my wedding ring. One day though, in a year or two...

@GlumyGloomer getting past a weight plateau can feel like it’s taking an eternity but hang in there, and sooner or later it will happen! 🤗 Glad you got a new jewellery box! My jewellery hoard occupies a wide dresser drawer, and waits to be organised. Maybe in... 2023 😬 I will find time/motivation to sort it out.

@ClaraTheImpossibleGirl I think it took me almost two months to dig out all of my items, gather them all up in one massive pile, and then catalogue. It was not an easy task, but it was a huge eye opener, I must say. I actually haven’t heard about this book before so I’ll check it out 😉 Thank you!!! ❤️

@Nettleskeins and @DownUdderer well done! 👍 And thank you for the encouragement! ❤️ Unfortunately, for the last few years self-love hasn’t been easy to practise 😖 My no-buy ‘rules’ allow me to add new items to my wardrobe if they are gifted to me, so at some point I may receive (and wear) a few pretty items which would fit my current size!

Hi everyone. Today I've taken out a bag of recycling, honestly normally the recycling gets piled a mile high and it's such a mess. But I'm trying to stay on top of it at the moment.

I've tidied off a small bench that the kids out their school bags on. It had become a dumping ground. It looks much better. Under the bench still needs doing!

Not doing much today!
Apart from wiping worktop, bit of re ycling out and picking a pile of clothes off floor and stuffing them in a cupboard.
And trying to research something to do with the central heating...dont ask
Been on very long dog walk though.

Hello!

I am not sure if I am in the right place

Short version

I live in a smallish flat and didn't see myself as a hoarder

However, I am trying to declutter and apparently I have payslips from 20 years ago!

I feel as if I am climbing a mountain with no view.

I am about to set a timer for 30 mins of clearing old paperwork.

At the back of my mind are things like, do I give away a breadmaker that I bought more than three years ago and only used twice? Or will I regret it and need to fork out again for one later?

Are these the kind of questions that trouble you or should I just make a jacket like Bernard Black with his tax and declare myself incapable?!

Thank you for listening!

Swept the leaves from the concrete wasteland at the back of the garden (formerly a derelict garage). The kids quite enjoyed helping so it turned out quite a nice afternoon.

Hello @LunaHeather! I would never have thought myself a hoarder until I had to move all my stuff, and then I realised just how inhibiting having all of it is. It's a long journey to be sure, but it's great that you're making a start. Love a bit of Black Books. I've definitely had moments of "eating cornflakes out of a shoe with a comb" (not literally I hasten to add)

Thank you Glumy.

I have been doing this for about a fortnight and I'm like, how can this not be over yet?!

I am only doing it in spare time but it's so boring.

Does anyone have that thing where you get so frustrated you chuck out things that you shouldn't, just to feel you've done something?

Essentially the goal is to get more of a sense of space, and to be able to clean without tidying.

Once stuff is gone, I hope it will be easier to allocate places for the stuff I use every day.

I tried TOMM but didn't stick to it as it was so dull.

I looked at TOMM, and felt very strongly that it would be impossible for me, lol.
I've been trying to declutter for a few years now, although with lengthy life event interruptions. I have got rid of things and then regretted it, but there's been far more stuff I've not given another thought to. I just try to learn from the mistakes I guess.

@GlumyGloomer

I looked at TOMM, and felt very strongly that it would be impossible for me, lol. I've been trying to declutter for a few years now, although with lengthy life event interruptions. I have got rid of things and then regretted it, but there's been far more stuff I've not given another thought to. I just try to learn from the mistakes I guess.

Interesting that you thought it looked impossible

I do think that in part I'm influenced by a couple of friends who have virtual show homes

My parents were/are naturally tidy

But what all those people have in common is they like to be busy and active and get satisfaction from their homes looking a certain way. There's no point me pretending to be something I'm not!

I used to do creative writing and a large amount of paper to be chucked is that.

I suppose there's an element of letting go of the past that is a bit strange. But mostly all this stuff is driving me nuts and by many people's standards, it isn't a lot. Mum has shelves full pf ornaments that she dusts carefully every week.

It was the inclusion of 1 load of laundry to be done in the daily 40 minutes that wrote it off for me. You can put it on in that 40 minutes, but what about hanging it up/putting it all away? Then there's the 5x multiplier of how long things take with small children clinging to you.
I hate housework though, so I'm probably just making excuses.
I have a box of story notes I won't chuck! At some point I might scan them though. Can I ask what sort of stuff you used to write? I write fantasy. Currently 22,000 words into attempt 3 at a second novel...

@GlumyGloomer

It was the inclusion of 1 load of laundry to be done in the daily 40 minutes that wrote it off for me. You can put it on in that 40 minutes, but what about hanging it up/putting it all away? Then there's the 5x multiplier of how long things take with small children clinging to you. I hate housework though, so I'm probably just making excuses. I have a box of story notes I won't chuck! At some point I might scan them though. Can I ask what sort of stuff you used to write? I write fantasy. Currently 22,000 words into attempt 3 at a second novel...

I did think she wasn't accounting for how long things really take but then wondered if it was just me.

And I think I prefer to just allocate some time for tasks at the weekend, not a lot, but the actual amount she thought was doable in a day...really I need to learn to tidy up after myself.

I did mostly historical fiction so a load of research notes to get rid of as well. I did some contemporary stuff too. Tbh I realised I wasn't going to carry on ages ago, but never threw the stuff out "just in case".

TOMM makes me panic tbh all "plans" have that paralysing effect on me. Im better just putting one foot in front of the other and being mildly surprised and relieved to have got somewhere!
Ive been for another walk, folded a duvet up and put it away and taken some more recycling out.
Swept downstairs floors.
Not tackling the big things atm!!

I would give the breadmaker away tbh. Someone else might get a lot of pleasure from it...and if it is holding you back from peace of mind, it isnt giving you what you need.
When you bought it, it came with a dream, the dream of breadmaking. But maybe now that.a few years have passed you have another equally valid dream.

That is how I steel myself to pass things on or even get rid of them. Their value is to me, im more valuable than a thing, therefore even if I throw it away it cannot "harm" me or injure my sense of self (the breadmaking self).
Btw, it is tonnes more complex when you have teens who do want to keep elwctrical gadgets so I recommend acting whilst you have autonomy. I speak as someone who has to endure smoothie maker, sandwich maker and icecream maker and bloody popcorn maker which I would gladly recycle but dd and dses demand they need, have purchased themselves!!!!

Wow, you've made some real progress DownUdderer, I've done pretty much nothing except tackling the massive laundry pile, down to the last hamper full though, so almost done! Everything else is waiting until the kids go back, they've suddenly gotten very clingy and needy so it's hard to get anything done atm. Only 5 days to go!

I've never liked TOMM, it's just too formulaic for me. I tend to just clean things as I notice them - unless it's dust, I don't seem to notice dust until it's pointed out to me!

Would love any tips on getting DH to sort through his stuff, he has so many clothes he doesn't wear but keeps putting off going through them all. And he insists on keeping all his DVDs even though we don't actually watch them anymore. I think a large part of the reason we're in this mess is because he won't throw anything away! He likes the end result, just won't engage with the process.

Nettle chucking out writing work has a link to "self" for sure

Giving away the breadmaker is more "will I regret it and buy one again later". (I think I am keeping it).

Re TOMM, as it is just me here, and I can find important things, it's not chaotic, just not as ordered as I'd like, it just seemed OTT but that was poor decision making that I bought the book.

I have a thread going about living simply and I do really want to commit to that. There are related things that maybe I should chuck out. I don't want the kind of life that means dressing up, for example, so I can throw out things like hair rollers for adding volume to hair, but for some reason I'm a bit..is that a good idea? It's bonkers really, if I got invited to Buck House (not happening) I wouldn't want to go!

It's funny, I find myself realising I have fallen for some consumerism in spite of thinking I hadn't.

Thump yes, I guess it is the formula. I don't actually want housework to be so regimental. I know when I am changing bed linen and cleaning the loo but the rest of it...I don't know. It's as and when.

And weather dependent - not applicable now but in summer if I said "I'm going to scrub the shower cubicle on Saturday" and then it was lovely sunshine, I'd say, nah, wait till it rains!

What I might do is clear out paperwork once a year. But I'd really like to get to a point of minimalism.