Flying high in July (or trying to!) - the FlyLady thread

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

A warm (or cooling with our current weather) welcome to the July Flylady thread. This is a lovely friendly thread where we loosely follow the Flylady system (see the Flylady website ) in the hope of having organised homes and lives.

Every day the thread leader (me this month) posts links and missions from the Flylady site and also some friendly (!) personal comments. This is quite a ‘talky’ thread but we try our hardest not to be cliquey and new members are very welcome! I will do my best to keep track of everybody .

Please note that Flylady is (understandably) keen for people to click on her site so please do have a look around the site and the links. On the website there is information for beginners. You can also sign up to the Flylady emails but we would advise caution as there are hundreds of them.

We post our achievements (ta das) and our to do lists and any other general chatter about life / flying.

Information on getting started: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

The launch pad is also a good starting place:www.flylady.net/c/lp.php

Fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. The general idea is that short bursts of tidying / organisation are more achievable than marathon efforts. Flylady advises 15 minute bursts is effort but you can tweak this to fit your own circumstances.

Be kind to yourselves, jump in where you are and be careful not to crash and burn!

The first day of the month is Sunday. Since it’s a weekend there is no official mission or zone work, unless you want to of course.

*
Here is the daily summary for Sunday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day).

I assume we are going into zone 1 next week which is the entrance area. However this week we have been in the living room. The Flylady website can take a few days to update the zones when the month changes so I will have a good look at it tomorrow and Monday to see where we are.

The link to the current zone and missions is [[http://www.flylady.net/c/sp.php#missions here].

Re. zones, do what works for you. I don’t always stick to the zones myself and do what works best at the time, with varying degrees of success!

Spend 15 mins decluttering, or whatever you can manage, in Zone 5/ zone 1.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 5 is here.

daily focus

missions for the week

Flykids mission

Once I figure out July’s habit I will let you know what it is!

beginner babysteps.

Happy flying everyone.
**

I used kondo on DH earlier. We were clearing out most of the videos and there was one I bought years ago when the film wasn’t available on DVD. He was amazed I’d found it at the time (major girlfriend points)

A few years ago I got him it on DVD as it had finally been released and was surprisingly cheap anyway. He still wanted to keep the video! As he knew it had been expensive and I had bought it for him! So I reminded him it doesn’t change the fact it made him happy, nothing can change the fact that I found it for him, he doesn’t need the actual object to remember that especially as we have the film still anyway so whenever he sees that he will still remember how happy he was when he unwrapped the VHS. Thus, the object has fulfilled its purpose!

That's really sweet Cag and exactly what Kondo-ing is about IMO. I bought the book on Kindle a few years ago and didn't get very far with it, maybe I should try again. One thing I did which was very successful was the category clearout of pens, pencils etc. I went round every room in the house and got all the stashes of them (they were everywhere), dumped them on the kitchen table for a mass sortout/clearout. I was reslly shocked at how many we had, loads went off to Cubs and loads of run-out ones were binned.

Sorry about the massive food whinge earlier, it is very frustrating but mostly we manage. My DCs are pretty easy generally and do both eat a fairly balanced diet overall, so it could be worse.

So, ta-da!

Washing done and dried.
Ironing done next to a fan while watching the very exciting World Cup Final.
General tidying downstairs
Hoovered stairs.
Nagged DH to clear his rubbish out of my car (we swopped cars for two days and mine came back full of empty coffee cups etc)
Large shrub pruned in the garden
Planning school holiday activities - DCs are secondary school age so not needing full daycare but need a few things organising to make sure they don't spend all day on screens.

Aaah pens and pencils. We had an entire bit of furniture devoted to them - one of those plastic towers of drawers from Wilko. Was divided at one point into pens, pencils, tape/glue, collage stuff etc. But it was always a mess.

I got a long way through sorting it in March when I ran a home ed event - I kept the decent quality brand pens, but took out any cheap ones and used them for the event, knowing that during clear up I could just chuck them. Collage stuff I did the same, plus passed a load on to a young relative. I never finished sorting the pens and pencils fully though so there is a big mixed tub over at the new house. The furniture has left the building.

It now completely baffles me that we had a whole set of drawers just for that as clearly we didn’t need them (it may be different if the Caglets liked all that cutting and sticking type stuff still, but I think they’d started to outgrow it even when we got the drawers in the first place - and certainly I never encouraged them in it anyway as the house was such a mess). I am planning to get maybe three little pots (tin can type things) one for colouring pens, one for colouring pencils, and one for biro/writing pencil type stuff. That is surely all we need. This kind of thing feels like a microcosm of our entire clutter problem - having far more than necessary and just needing to not panic at the idea of not having LOADS. That we do not need.

Cagletini slept almost 7 hours! She woke briefly a couple of times but just crawled around in her bed and settled herself. Yay! The only problem with that is I then woke at 5 and although she’s fed back to sleep I am now wide awake and hungry.

DH is now off for over a week. The living room is utterly horrific but more furniture has gone out for the tip. He filled four bin bags while we were out too (trying not to panic that he may have thrown something I didn’t want to... I doubt he would logically but I have The Fear). There’s massive piles of BRCs everywhere.

So that’s the aim for today - sort through and chuck what we can, pack up more bits preferably in categories, but I think we are also at the stage where we would need to just stash and dash some. Especially the home ed drawers/shelves which I never managed to sort! But I am hoping we can manage as much as possible.

My plan is that if we do need to take any BRCs with us, they will be in the decent lidded plastic boxes and can be hidden away somewhere until we are completely unpacked so they don’t get mixed up with other stuff.

Yes we too had a pen and pencil overload! I went through them a few months ago. I do throw felt tips away often as dd terrible for not putting the lid on and i am forever finding them under the table!

NotDP seems to be under some deluded idea that things arent that bad as he kissed me on the cheek before he left this morning. He is very much mistaken. Obviously i had to be civil yesterday as we had a child thing to do. He went to bed about 6pm and left me to do everything. There is going to have to be a conversation at some point. Urgh.

I didnt get any uniforms ironed yesterday. Dd might have one in her wardrobe but the others two need a full set each so i had better crack on

I think we are from same pod I've and our "menchildren are from same pods.

Woke at 3,gave up at 415
Tada
Fed cats
Wash on
Bleach lav
Clean behind sofa one
Sweep living room floor
Iron uniforms
Wipe table
Make banana bread
Wipe kitchen surfaces
Clean kitchen windows
Clean hob
Sweep kitchen floor
Littertray
Empty bins
Recycling out

Morning everyone! I crossed over to the dark side yesterday and bought the Kondo book on Kindle as it was only 99p - thanks - sorry can't remember who said it now. Started reading it last night. Might give it a go. But it doesn't cover cleaning so I'm still sticking to the flylady routine for that. The problem with fly lady for decluttering is because I only do the 15 minutes a day it ends up cluttered again by the time I go back to that zone!

Anyway. Today I'm working and have the dentist so my mum is coming to drop dd at nursery for me and look after ds for the day. So I'll have to try and fit in the home bleugh later in a short space of time. And probably no time to start Kondo ing maybe I'll read more of the book later though. It's a start!

Forgot to add
One load washing in dryer,another on
Help locate ingredients for dd2 chocolate cookies recipe for school today
Run co op for milk/ingredients dd2 needed we didn't have.gah!why didn't I sort it yesterday?
Breakfasts
Pack ups
Dd2 is taking lil zoo to school so need quickly plait her hair,then I must hoover stairs as next doors working nights and be home soon....

Morning all,

Cag - yes, we've got one of those Wilko drawers for ours too, plus a tray on top for every day stuff. Ours has two big drawers, with crafty bits in (we still get crafty projects at secondary school), one small drawer has hole punch, staplers, pritt sticks, awkward things. The other smaller one has lunchboxes in them with coloured pencils/felt tips and we keep an every day pot on top with pencils and biros which I replenish regularly as the DCs lose them at school. We also seem to need an endless supply of rubbers, protractors, rulers. Looking at it now it needs a good tidy out again, but I don't think there is much excess now, just untidy.

Morning all....
Trying to get back into some sort of routine but my head is still in holiday mode and doesn't want to come back to reality!
Anyway!

Ta da
Fed Dcat and Buffy dog
Empty d's
Swish and swipe

To do
Dust
Vacuum
De-clutter dressing table and makeup as it's getting in my nerves.
Weeding garden

Going to a Music Assembly this morning so back later. 👋

Enjoy honky

You Twit zoo,forgot me tada!!
Towels dry and folded/put away
Wash hang on airer
More in
Argue extensively lil zoo-leave bowl in computer table,not empty last week's crap from bag the try leave the pile on living room floor,yelling as I brush her hair,complaining I don't want take shorts off under my skirt(complaining pants too big.her old ones that snug kept riding up her bum,so they bound feel looser FFS.wearinv shorts they feel better)..I could go on but why bore you all?!
See her off with dd2-she storm off without a goodbye

Next up hoover stairs-neighbours in from work so I need get it done before she heads to bed!!

Morning everyone, thanks for Kondo advice, love your DVD example Cag.

Ta da:-
Washing machine and dishwasher on
Thank you cards to write for school bought as we didn’t have enough.

To do:
Need to go into travel agents to check something about our holiday. They don’t open until 9:30 so have come in library to check the thread in a vague thread leader type way. Unfortunately my mum rang stressing about our summer holiday arrangements (which do not even involve my parents!) so my stress levels are now raised.

Anyway, I have 15 minutes to waste and not much I can achieve so think I am going to check through my emails until 9:30. Ugh. Why are relationships with my parents so difficult and so relatively easy with my in-laws???

Waves to Toostressy have some virtual and .

Terrible night's sleep. I need the extra sharp and pointy stick.

SC---->>
Tada(cont)
Bathroom
Windows washed
Wipe sill,radiator and bath panel
Wipe tiling
Clean skirts
Quick declutter zoolets oblutions drawers
Deep clean bath and sink
Sweep up stray litter and wash bathroom floor

Hall,stairs and landing hoovered
Hall floor tidy and washed(stray belongings hung up/return to homes)
Wash kitchen floor
Wash living room floor

I can now feel less freaked out if school decide today's the day to swoop and check on D's
(Who I can report is dizzy when moves,but nausea easing thank goodness!he's ok if don't move or do anything)

Ta v muchly Zoo. That's a fabulous list . Glad to hear ds feeling less nauseous too. That sort of dizziness is very tiring so he may take a while to recuperate.

Guests have departed for the day. I cooked enough yesterday that there is enough for tonight if I throw together a quick salad with it. That leaves me a fair bit of time to declutter - oh joy - feel like doing anything but.

An hour of hard labour SC really going for it then stop
----++++>>>> for the hour
for after
My 430 cleaning starts catching up with me in the humidity today.need stop for a bit

Thanks Zoo! Unlike you, I am just starting now

Got going very slowly indeed today. Wash is on as the Caglets were out of socks and undies and we’ve chucked more stuff out into rubbish and recycling. More DVDs put away and we have put some random stuff in some packing boxes, so there are officially some BRCs going to the new house, I just didn’t know what to do with some of these things! :(

It sounds as if you are doing amazingly Cag. Hope the pointy stick worked SC and thanks for tea and cake. Feel really unsettled after phone conversation . Find it impossible very difficult keeping both my parents and DH happy and whatever I do someone always seems to be upset.

Ta da:-
Decluttered a few bits
Renewed home insurance and saved £££

To do:-
Locate ticket for school thing tonight. Last week of end of term madness here.
Prep tea as another busy evening here
Drink more .

Sorry that you are stressed about call Toostressy. As it concerns things that your parents are not involved in, can you put down a few firm boundaries and ignore? (Much easier said than done I know!). You are entitled to make your own holiday arrangements without permission from anyone else. And people can give their opinions but you are not obliged to take their pov on board! Bonne courage!

I am decluttering drawers. It is not going well as I am not in the right mindset but this is the only time I have to do it. The result is not pretty. And like Cag some of the stuff I don't don't what to do with as it hasn't got a "place".

Arrrggjjjaaawwwwpppmmmmmssslllwibble

(that was meant to look like a heartfelt growl of despair and discontent from inside a very dark and hot place ending in a piteous whimper)

Having read your post again Toostressy I should add that it is not your job to keep everyone happy either and it must be really horrid to be put in that situation

Thanks SC. Basically we are flying for our holiday. The airport is a few hours drive from us so my parents want us to detour and stay at their house to reduce the driving time and reduce the risk of us getting caught in traffic (notoriously bad route for traffic). Or pay for us to stay in an airport hotel the night before. Seems trivial but it is just one more example of not treating us like adults. I don’t understand it because the vast majority of the time we get on with life with them being miles away and not involved.

I would just say yes for a quiet life (and easier and cheaper journey) but DH wants to drive down the day of the holiday (which is what most people would do) and I suspect at this point would actually pay not to stay with them or take money from them. So I have said no which has upset both my parents.

So difficult as they give constant unwanted advice to any situation. As a result I tell them pretty much nothing. Have resolved NEVER to give advice to my DDs when they are adults unless they actually ask for it.

stressful that sounds soooooo frustrating!!

Ta da
Finished work
Dentist
Popped to shop for essentials as my online food order got cancelled last minute due to an admin issue which I can't figure out if it's my fault or theirs but never mind. Coming tomorrow instead.
Dishwasher emptied.

To do
Finish daily routine
Swish and swipe bathroom
Hoover (heat allowing!)
Mop
Strip bed
Dust
Polish mirrors
Towels etc

Then I'm going to continue reading the Kondo book and see what I might be able to achieve this week...

Aargh, that sounds tough Toostressy particularly when their interfering "helping" comes from a good place.

Have resolved NEVER to give advice to my DDs when they are adults unless they actually ask for it.

I think this is a very good strategy actually! A very close friend and colleague is going through marital mediation with his wife at the moment. They are both lovely people but their marriage is really suffering because of the interference of both of their mothers who are far too over-involved in their offsprings' lives. And the offspring (unlike you Toostressy!) are at fault for entertaining their parents wishes ahead of their spouses. It really is very sad to see. I've seen it on other occasions too. It's really hard to combat when it comes (in the mother's eyes) from a place of love, but the couple themselves need protecting from it.

I learnt the hard way and had to put boundaries in place. Different circs to you Toostressy as my parents were fine (rather too formal and distant if anything!) but my mil was very difficult indeed. It was such a shame as I would have loved a lovely relationship with my mil and tried my v best for many years but heigh ho. A taste of things to come occurred when she marched in to the house that dh and I had just bought and said very deliberately "I am so very happy to be in my home". With an emphasis on the my!

Now, at the time, I was much younger than I am now and insecure and eager to please and said nothing, and looked to dh. But he also ... (being very confrontation averse) .... said nothing. I was also delightfully niaeve as to the implications of that statement!
Nowadays I would have just said politely "you are very welcome indeed and I hope you will visit often, but just to be clear this is the home of dh and me."

Anyway, needless to say, with no boundaries established, it went from bad to worse. I tolerated a lot to keep the peace for dh's sake until the day mil overstepped the mark with dd (made her cry on her 7th birthday weeping dramatically down the phone and accusing her of "deliberately excluding her grandparents from her birthday celebrations" and that was when I immediately drew a huge red line between us. Dh still visited them and supported them financially but dd and I kept our distance having previously made huge efforts to travel to see them and to host them here.

Anyway, all of that is a sorry tale of "when parental interference goes badly wrong".

Your parents don't sound half as bad as that Toostressy - and I am not for one moment comparing your mother's behaviour with that of my late mil - but the only solution in these situations (in my v humble opinion) is to be loyal to your partner first (as long as he is reasonable and kind and being sensible about the whole thing of course).

Sorry that was all so "me" "me" but parental interference in marriages is a subject to which I have a very strong reaction!

Wishing you courage with it all and the strength to plough your own furrow!

Sorry that was such an essay. And none of it probably makes much sense! I could tell tales that would make your hair curl of some of late mil's behaviour but ... enough.