The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Three...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Are you are any of the following? Can you be described as a clutterbug? Are you a hoarder, in a mess, untidy, disorganised, lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you cannot just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or dread the meter reader asking for access.

Are you nodding whilst reading any of these words? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite :) Welcome to thread number 3.

Hello! I hope you’ve all enjoyed the Christmas period, but of course I know it really can be a stressful and depressing time of year, so I hope everybody has got through it! I enjoyed our festivities.

On the 20th December I had a friend over to visit and she arrived at 1:30pm. I had tried to do some tidying before hand. But that day I still had plenty to tackle! But I impressed myself with hours on end of tidying and cleaning and the areas I tackled looked amazing, but during the last hour I had to stuff quite a bit away into cupboards and wardrobes Willy Nilly. It all looked great for a few days anyway, but it’s like a bomb site again now. I guess the new things are cluttering everywhere up and there’s a bit of trash (packaging) that needs sorting out. I’ve been too lazy to get everything nice, that’s my main problem really!

I’m dreaming of a robot vacuum and mop, I guess they don’t pick up all the toys from the floor though!

Hello all :) how are you doing?

I actually really enjoyed Christmas day. On the evening of 24th, I sat and peeled parsnips and carrots and did the sprouts - for 8 people. I then took them over to Mum's along with the potatoes and sweet potatoes which Mum peeled on the big day. I then went home and wrapped the gifts I needed to. On the 25th, I collected my friend and went over to Mum's place and sorted the meal out which was mostly cooked. It was all delicious and I actually really enjoyed the day which is so unusual for me :) . I didn't get too much for myself gift wise; earrings from my son and his girlfriend and a mug. A throw from my friend which is gorgeous!! And some scratch cards which got me £11 towards my sewing machine and a lotto ticket that I think I'll get a free lucky dip for. Very pleased as not too much extra tut to go into my messy house. Dd got some crap for her Boxing Day birthday but, she didn't get loads of stuff for Christmas so, I'm happy about that. I've put her cards up but, no Christmas cards up (only got a few anyway). Back to work today but, I have some days off which I really need to get cracking with.

that sounds lovely Solo at your mum's, and well, just the whole approach.

We've been fine. A few rows and a few anxious feelings creeping in, but kids have been in good humour. dh has found it all a bit stressful though due to losing his mother in the summer, and christmas makes it sink in even worse that he misses her and his old life as a carefree child try as we might we cannot replicate what he had growing up so it has always been difficult for him to process what his expectations of Christmas are.

Anyway, we've had a lovely day playing monopoly and eating gammon and broccoli and various green things to counteract all the chocolate!

I’ve managed some laundry today and cooked a big chicken but I can think of a lot of picking up and tidying jobs I’ve been ignoring for two days. But it’s so hot I’m melting!

Actually I did clean the large family bathroom sink area. And I googled a toilet roll holder I’d like to replace. I’d like to paint the tiny toilet room.

What sort of thing does your Dh want to replicate, Nettle ? Because I think that's part of the reason I dislike Christmas - because it's not like it was when I was a child... I said to my brother while we were in the kitchen on the 25th that we had good Christmases when we were kids and he agreed. I don't think my children will say that to one another in 30/40 years time, though :( - I should have tried harder.

Glad you are all okay.

we try quite hard to make christmas nice for the children, but a lot of the things we think matter to them matters less than we think. Their list is:

cheerful parents
a bit of socialising ie a few cousins and a sense of occasion
a few surprise presents but most of the presents are exactly what they requested
LOTS OF TELLY with parental involvement : ie Christmas specials like Agatha christie or Doctor Who
LOTS OF FREE TIME where parents are not asking them what they are doing and why they aren't helping
a few short walks in the fresh air (they resist but like the feeling of being dragged out when they've come in again)
Exactly the same traditions as last year vis a vis decorations and food, ie flaming christmas pudding even if they hate raisins or stuffing even if they hate stuffing. Just the idea of these things.

DH's expectations are: very calm
very orderly
an intangible magical feeling to do with trainsets and lebkucken and christmas trees
everything prepared and presents all wrapped, infinite boxes of treats and cookies and luxury pates all waiting magically for him to tuck in to
fine crystal
very very good church music but doesn't want to go to church as it is boring
refuses to acknowledge housework over christmas but increasingly irritable as house descends into chaos ie would hate me to hoover but dsilikes the layer of crud...

my expectations
do nothing much
a bit of craft
lots of cooking and table decs but not worrying about tidying up anything afterwards
lots of outdoor walks
piles of presents/party games/games of cards
loads of films
infinite flexibility ie bursts of energetic tidying should be allowed
and a bit of socialising which involves christmassy glamourous clothes but not much dressing up or waking up regularily
and lots of talking about plans for NEW YEAR/new resolutions (which husband hates) ie fitness plans, building plans, gardening, decorating

basically his christmases were far more "special" than mine as my mum had four children and 35 nephews and nieces to wrap presents for, and little time for niceties. but we had a good time nevertheless, in the old days I particularily remember the Tarzan films that they used to run over christmas in Ireland..

Dh finds the children are so disorderly and so noisy and shatter a lot of the serenity he associates with it. I feel that Christmas is a natural time for bubbling emotions and passions and not especially likely to be calm given the number of demands made on most of us to do x y z. So it is ditch the demands and feel calm or do the things on the list and get increasingly frazzled. Somewhere there is a middle way..perhaps when I am grownup!

no, I haven't explained it very well. what dh misses about Christmas, I think, is just being with his parents and being a much loved child/young man in their household where they were all unified in their ideas of what they liked to do. But in our house, he misses his parents and he finds the quarrelling between siblings stressful,, whereas I see it as normal and shortlived.

Strange, isn't it?

Happy New Year my friends!

Hello,
Can I join. I have a tiny cottage and have spent lots of energy on my career rather than my home-making.
it's really got out of hand and I'd like some company as I start to get things sorted.

today I did three no five positive houseworky things:

I cleared out the fridge of old leftovers
I sorted the washing into three clear piles
I dried and put the washing away that had previously been hanging around
I washed all the dishcloths and teacloths so I didn't end up buying new ones (they were lost in the washing pile a looong time ago)
I bothered to hang up coats and put shoes on the rack, whereas I had slightly reached the point over Christmas of just giving up on the hall completely

I also threw away some tangerine peel and random sweet papers and put several cups and plates from the various rooms into the dw.

a start. sometimes you have to start at the beginning again. This is feeling a bit like snakes and ladders though...

welcome groovie january is a great time to start looking at things with a fresh eye, as long as one doesn't despair at what one sees!

Hello Groovie :) welcome .

Thanks for the welcome. I'm trying to get some motivation and I'm finding it really hard.
I keep doing tiny bits and then stopping - looking at everything I need to do and feeling completely over faced !

At the moment, I'm finishing doing all the washing and drying from the Christmas holidays as we were away.

I've also had a "chat" with my DH and said I need him to get involved with this. One of the reasons I down tooled was because I wasn't going to be the only one doing the housework any more. He's agreed to get involved and has done some cleaning and chucking away in our porch.

Next, I need to work out what I'm going to do now:
First, cuppa
Second, tidy and clean for 1 and half more hours - in bursts of 15 minutes with 5 minute breaks.- I'm feeling too overwhelmed to do more today.
Third, I'll report back here to what I've got done and hope that there'll be someone I can connect with.

Well I did as planned and was really surprised how long things took me. I got through the washing and drying a d only sorted a few bags. I'm pleased I've started.

That's a good start Groovie :) . I have had today off and will be off tomorrow, too. I went to my lok n store and Dd and I went through one of the big bag of teddy bears and we gave 2 carrier bags (big ones!) of bears away. Some of them were TY things and from Dd's deceased grandma and great uncle - neither of whom she really knew but, we took photo's of them so that she can have the memory of them if she wants to. We have some Bratz dolls that we need to find feet for amongst the crap and then they will also be going. Quite pleased but, I've got so many that I'm really emotionally attached to and won't want to get rid of once I find where they are hidden!

that is brilliant Solo. It sounds difficult but well done for doing it anyway.

I'm not doing much de-hoarding at the moment, but I did manage to use up some lentils which will be past their sellby date in February...and I threw away some curry paste which had dried up.

otherwise, the washing continues, and when I wash, I know I don't need new clothes, which helps me bin all the catalogues that come through the letterbox with tempting wardrobe refresh items.

Also read a book that I received for Christmas, another thing I am using instead of just "storing for later".

I threw away some rubbish in the alley too.

I need to tackle the greenhouse. full of rubbish and not plants.

Thanks Nettle :) I will be taking another big bag of stuff to charity tomorrow and, I might even get a couple of bags out of the door for C4C . Hopefully, that'll be a couple of quid in the pot.

I'm returning 2 items that don't fit Dd in the arms so, that's more out of the way.

I ordered my sewing machine. Hopefully, this will help me deal with a load of mending I have to do.

And yes, Nettle those flaming catalogues!!!
I have far too many clothes but, I have high hopes of turning jeans into a patchwork bedspread for Ds or maybe even Dd...I can add some girly patches too - something like this for Dd or a bit like this for Ds

Hooray for the new sewing machine! I have a denim quilt in min as well! I even have bought a couple of super cheap pairs of jeans to cut up. I bought them quite a while ago if I’m honest, I will make something with them. Sewing is a favourite hobby of mine and when the school holidays are over im really going to get back to daily sewing. I enjoy the process of sewing so I do give myself a pass if I don’t always finish everything that I start, things often do get finished up but I like having lots of things going all at once and I enjoy just flitting between projects.

I’ve done some tidying and cleaning and certainly ignored it all on other days, overall I’m happy that I’m making moves in the right direction most of the time. I cannot find my swimsuit anywhere though, I might have to buy a new one so I can have a swim in the sea.

Happy new year, and welcome Groovie.

Oooh! Down we'll have to share ideas and experiences etc with regards the quilt. :)

I've managed to clean two bathrooms today. Yay! and I turned around the washing of sheets and dirty clothes in both dses rooms with partial help from them...relieved to find that we have exactly enough sheets and blankets and no more, so I really don't need to declutter that lot ever again.

I also got rid of many many used up plastic bottles from the bathrooms. And was pleased that I had kept back some tatty "cleaning clothes" in special place so that reduced the washing pile after kneeling and scrubbing.

otherwise, well...there is a lot of mud in the hall from every time we've been outside. And I did a run today. every three days I'm forcing myself out. managed 2 km today, which wasnt easy. I'm not sporty at all..

swim in sea..I can only dream I keep my swimsuit and my thermal vests and my running socks in a drawer in the hall, so that I am less inclined to give up on various motivational practices but so far the swimsuit hasn't been used for about three or four months

dd has two sewing machines! Fancy! I have one old one that I cannot remember how to use, but I've had it repaired twice, so I feel it is my duty to keep it going. dd is so far ahead of me in sewing as she is doing Textiles A levels but scorns "domestic projects" like making her own clothes or anything remotely useful. I gave her a large brown plain cushion for xxmas though and she embroidered a very elaborate motif on it for fun by hand (not machine) so I forgive her (I suggested she embroidered it and she listened for once)

On Grand Designs today there was a barn which two collectors with an 8 year old(?) had filled with their "items" in glass cases. In between was a perfectly normal but possibly quirky little "cottage within the barn" where they lived amidst their vast array of "collecting". So perhaps a barn is the only solution to clutter. And then they had two enormous studio spaces to work in. Anyway, it made me think. At peace with the idea that I am not that sort of collector and don't want ever to live in a barn or have a concrete kitchen made of packing cases!!!

my other pathetic attempt at improving things is that I am tidying gloves and scarves and hats into the same area in the hall every day and evening Once the christmas cards are gone it may be bit easier to find things...[ever hopeful]

The recycling bins have finally gone, two days late, and I can at last empty the multitudinous recycling bag which is clogging up the utility. It seems difficult to keep on top of ordinary things at this time of year...