The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Three...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Are you are any of the following? Can you be described as a clutterbug? Are you a hoarder, in a mess, untidy, disorganised, lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you cannot just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or dread the meter reader asking for access.

Are you nodding whilst reading any of these words? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite :) Welcome to thread number 3.

Right I’ve packed up some textbooks (bought a load of second hand ones recently for next stage of home ed but then we got offered the house so we are leaving it until we’ve settled there)

Also got rid of a load of half done sticker/colouring type books. It’s always hard getting rid of half done stuff as it feels like admitting failure for not finishing it

I find getting rid of colouring books hard too. I want to finish them myself! It is a almost like a physical pain throwing them away (but herhaps you found a good home?) bit like throwing away spices and past sell by but usuable food. It gets better once it is gone though

well done Caglio
I'm so impressed by how neatly you have recycled the baby clothes too, I think I just bunged mine in a bag
Moving will be a home ed activity, the reorganising and the painting and cleaning, all incredibly useful life skills and involving D & T, Maths, English language, Geography. No need for formal instruction I would say for next few weeks, just carrying things for mum and making piles. I can still remember moving house aged 10, it completely fascinated me, allt he empty rooms and filling them up again, and new views and experiences. (think LIttle House on the Prairie type experiences even in UK! even though we just moved down the road into a normal house ifysim)

today I've used up some old food on the children (yay!) and emptied a bin liner of rubbish. Otherwise we are on our way somewhere tomorrow so everything has to be suspended for a few days.

Fuck, we get our keys on Wednesday. This is all getting very very real.

This is a very big organisational feat. You are coping brilliantly.
I think you said you had a buffer zone between moving in and moving out?
You are going to manage, imperfectly, but you will get there. Nothing will be quite as planned but everyone will get to new house in one piece. I just don't think you are going to manage the redecoration at this point. Perhaps you could just use two bedrooms when you first move, which means you could do some painting when you get there.

It is going to be difficult to declutter and move even if it is the counsel of perfection, when you are looking after three smallish children hour by hour who are going to need their daily life maintaining. Decluttering is hard work until you can see what you need and don't need and it may not be possible till you get there to assess that. There IS a company called AnyJunk which will take away items in one go, even if it means losing the money or the freecycle buzz, i fyou are short of time/transport that may be the answer.

All the best Cag, I am going to retire now from my bossy boots role. I think you are doing something very hard, which is the home ed the moving and the baby and the CFS and you have to make allowances for yourself in the short term for long term gain.

I’m feeling anxiety this week, sometimes it feels like I get anxiety instead of pmt. I’m trying to take small steps in the right direction this week. I’ve got some boxes. And I think tomorrow I can fill them, I was going to type ‘think about filling them’ but I’m better off ‘doing’ rather than ‘thinking’! I can waste a week thinking sometimes!

Oh down I’m similar I get horribly paranoid when due my period.

And yes I waste so much time just thinking!

We are collecting keys shortly. Then hopefully we will have time to go and see the place with the Caglets!

I am still somewhat overwhelmed by it all but have been getting little bits done

It’ll be lovely for you to view the new place with the kids!

I have to say their excitement was pretty infectious! They are over the moon with it.

If I view it with adult eyes I’m still a bit overwhelmed with the amount there is to do. But. I have a quote from cleaners, and once that is all done then I should feel a bit better.

Been starting to look at furniture etc and allowing myself to get excited about it all now.

We really must keep going with the decluttering though. Although the house is bigger, I am pretty sure that if we just moved all our current stuff into it, we would be no better off at all!

Got rid of lots this morning! We gave trampolining a miss (Caglets know there will need to be a few sacrifices while we sort stuff) and I think we made the time count, we filled a bin bag, chose lots of bedding to bag up when I buy more bags later, got about four bags for charity too. And DH made a few phonecalls.

I'm going to go through another drawer later (DH had to open it for me as it was swollen shut! We'd already agreed to ditch it) and also need to visit the charity shop to get furniture info. Making progress with deciding storage.

Tired though. Would really love to give St John a miss but DD has only just moved up to cadets so really want her to settle in

How’s it going?

I showed mum the house, and I must say I am feeling even better about it now. Having booked the cleaners and carpet cleaners helped as I know it will get rid of any hygiene issues, and also just seeing it more (and through fresh eyes, as mum is really excited for us) and I’m seeing more ideas about where everything will go.

Also the fact that we are allowed to decorate is HUGE. My childhood home was always full of hoard and unkempt, my first flat with DH we were not allowed to change anything at all, this house still has cheap trade paint/carpet from when the house was built so it’s pretty horrible. So I’ve never had anything decorated apart from when I was finally allowed to paint my room at around 14 (and even then I had a broken window for years as dad just put plastic over it and never fixed it).

But this new house... obviously it’s not OURS (housing association) but it’s a secure tenancy of minimum six years, and we can basically do what we want - flooring, decorating, shelving etc it’s all up to us! We won’t be able to do it all straight away (we’ve agreed to just move first as time is so short, and will then get the Caglets’ rooms done as first priority) but knowing we could actually have a house decorated how WE want someday... that’s huge.

Still very slowly getting rid of more, yesterday was tiring as we had to be out all day on a family thing but it was also opportunity to get most of the rest of the little baby clothes handed on, and some outgrown toys too.

But have we given notice yet or booked movers or packed more stuff? Nope.

Cag! It’s so exciting isn’t it?! We’ve been renting for 9 years and I’m also dreaming about painting walls and maybe buying rugs to add colour. We’ve had magnolia walls here in this flat so I’m daydreaming about painting multicoloured walls! I don’t know what I’ll do in reality but I guess some colour is what I’m craving. My son will have his own room for the first time and that’ll be wonderful, he sleeps in our room at the moment (he’s 2.5).

I’m counting down, it’s 8.5 weeks until we move. I packed some boxes on the weekend and need to carry on. I’m sure we have lots of phone calls to make etc and I’m not thinking about them today.

I’ve got some bits to go to a charity shop, I’m sure I need to send more things to the charity shop but I couldn’t let go of a t shirt on Sunday and I don’t think it even fits me.

I’ve bought butchers paper from eBay to scrunch up around and wrap around kitchen items.

We had to let a fire Inspector chap in on Monday so we tried to tidy. I hate the realisation that I’ll tidy because someone is coming, but I don’t just tidy for us. I am not someone who naturally enjoys any type of cleaning or tidying. But I try not to get down on myself.

I’ve just had the kids help pack three boxes. Every box that is packed feels amazing!

Well done down! And the helpful kids too! ⭐️

I totally get you about tidying for others not ourselves. I do “panic tidying” which results in random crap shoved into bags and boxes. Would often happen before my tutoring. However I lost motivation even for that (since it has been difficult with the baby, and PND slipping in a bit too I think) and now very few people can come in.

I really really want to learn to be houseproud! I really have no clue how to run a house TBH but I’m hoping just that bit of extra space, sensible storage and most importantly the fact this move has given us a massive kick to get rid of lots of clutter 😱 will really help.

Cancelled sports club this morning as a few members are away. So theoretically we can get stuff done...

You two sound so positive! It's lovely to hear :)

I've done nothing - no surprise there! I seem to have so little time at the moment. The realisation that if I don't do something

...I won't get anywhere at all...

I washed up last night. Had to IYSWIM?! and I got Dd to dry up. We had no music on but, we sang silly songs from my childhood and I think we both enjoyed it. I do think she was only doing it to get her iPad back though .

we are having a small party this evening with random people invited of all ages.

we've done a fair bit of tidying over the last week which has helped to avoid the complete and utter panic I usually feel at having guests, including getting the kids (who are after all are proto-grownups at 16) to clean the bathrooms and hoover various bits

Still, I often wonder what it might be like to have guests round to a house where you don't have to sweep everything up from the hall/corridors and dump it in a child's bedroom and shut the door with said child protesting wildly that they now cannot see their bed!

I've learnt to let go of cobwebs during parties, but the feeling that people are noticing your clutter/might trip over things on their way somewhere is inescapable. It is a feeling of being judged, that I'm sure is not the case. Better to do the minimum and have people over than do nothing and have no one over is my new thinking.

I've just cleared up some horrible old dishes in the garden and thrown away some rubbish I've been avoiding. Feel slightly less panicked. Doing stuff always helps. Anything really.

Cag I have often thought this idea of running a house or bringing up children is false sort of classification. It doesn't have a beginning or end, and it isn't a methodology or a piece of project management. It is "whatever works" to make everyone happy, and defining that is the key. And thinking out of box about what does make everyone happ-ier.

That’s a good way of looking at it.

I am feeling fairly hopeful as my mum really turned things around when she moved into her own flat rather than the horrid run down house she felt unhappy in. Her flat is lovely.

Big news is we moved some stuff over today! Family helped, we moved basically all the boxes over that we’d already packed, plus some furniture that we don’t need here ATM (embarrassed to admit this includes the dining chairs, since the table is so cluttered we never eat at it). Cleaned said furniture before it went and feeling much happier and very excited. Carpets were cleaned yesterday too, didn’t get all stains out but they are hygienic and deodorised :)

our house looks magically transformed today after party and that is because everything has been dumped in ds2's boxroom to clear the clutter from the hall and living room.

Gosh I dont want to put any of it back...lots of coats and a scaletricx set that sort of thing, winter stuff, winter curtains. It feels lovely and airy downstairs now. Like a holiday house. I feel like I can think!

Great news Cag and it is so nice to have even a bit of RL help that must have been v encouraging/defusing..

That sounds lovely, can you put the stuff back gradually and sort a bit as you go do you think? (Mind you that’s the sort of thing I say I’ll do, but never do...)

Yes it was great having the help, SIL was up for the day and DSS is allowed to borrow his work van too.

Glad we got stuff done today as DD1 has just puked. Argh. She felt funny after the chicken we all had at dinner so I don’t think it’s a bug. I feel fine but I am now somewhat anxious so the baby (who also devoured some) is staying in with me now!

Weekends are generally unproductive anyway as DH works, I do need to go through the clothes again though - Caglets definitely have some they can get rid of, and I’m pondering packing some less worn stuff in their suitcases to drop over at the house next time we go, so there is less stuff here to wash and dry.

We’re in a rented flat until we move and they’re doing an inspection in ten days! So we’ll have to pull our socks up and get tidying! We’ll have boxes everywhere as well! I don’t want to give notice that we’re moving until closer to the date as I don’t want the viewings going on every weekend.

I have been getting boxes from a local DIY store, it’s a huge place and they have boxes just by the till. Anyway I’ve been casually just taking two at a time without buying anything, sometimes it’s fine because it’s busy, sometimes it’s embarrassing because it’s not busy! But I’ve done it anyway! Ha! I have to pay myself on the back!

I hope your party was fun Nettles! I totally agree with you, better to do the best tidying job you can and still have a party than to avoid the party altogether. I think we have to fight instincts of being perfect (maybe) and doing something is better than doing nothing and be happy with that.

Cag how good is it that you can go over bit by bit? That's a real blessing :) Hope no more sickness.

Nettle now this is the key I think. You feel better when things are clean, clear and tidy; it's probably not helping my mental health and chronic fatigue being surrounded by crap.

Down how much notice must you give your Letting Agent? Don't forget that if a new tenant is not found before you leave, the Landlord's mortgage might not get paid.

I'm utterly exhausted. Dd was in a show yesterday and I do a lot of work for the dance school so, although I don't dance, I am very tired! Dd is at the first of two induction days at her secondary school today and I actually ironed her uniform! I suppose I need to get back into the habit for when she starts in September.

Ugh ironing. I don’t miss that.

I definitely think my mental and physical health are made worse by all the clutter. It’s such a vicious circle though as that makes it harder to deal with it in the first place.

All three Caglets ended up puking so the weekend was even less productive than normal. Today was spent at Ikea choosing furniture! I am exhausted.

Yes really glad we can move in gradually!

Poor you!! 3 sicky kiddies! Ugh! Hope they are on the mend now.