May-be this time - Fledglings flutter through May 2016 (Flylady thread)

[CotswoldStrife]

Welcome all - and thanks to SpareCrust for leading us through April.

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Link to the Flylady website

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

Hello everyone, hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather?

Knitting you must have the patience of a saint!

Caglio well done to your DD :)

Midlife my DH is the same and I frequently want to throttle him ....

Today has been productive and rather tiring.
Ta Da
Made beds x2
Sorted laundry into seven wash loads
One load in the machine
Dishwasher on
Hoovered lounge
Washed the washing line after its long slumber in the garage over winter
Pegged out washing
Washed the glass patio table top and the metal frame
Scrubbed the window frames and patio door surrounds, evicting 1000s of thunder bugs and spiders
Washed windows and patio doors which are now gleaming
Played with DS in the garden in-between all of the above tasks
DH and I together dismantled our large BBQ and scraped and snubbed all the grease and filth off (which DH should have done last year ffs)
Tidied away all garden toys and debris.

DH 'supervised' DS using the hose to water the garden plants, and only turned his back for a minute and DS then turned the hose on my almost dry washing so washing now in the tumble drier.

DH has been threatening to use his clippers on DS's hair for quite a while now. DS hates going to the hair dresser so he permanently has a mop-top look to him. This morning DH attempted to do the job and as predicted, it was a disaster. DS had bits of shorn hair and tufts of long bits, there was a trail of hair all over the landing and in the bath room, DS was crying, DH was getting stroppy. DH then went out leaving me to sort it, which we mostly managed in the end, although there is no disguising it is a DIY job and I can't wait for it to grow out. NEVER EVER AGAIN.

Grr to DH, Grey! Yes, glorious weather though, and managed to get everyone outside for most of the afternoon. :)

Well done to DD, Cag. :)

Ta da!
Three lots of laundry
Two lots dry
Most of it put away
Boys' swimming lessons
Grocery shopping
2 hours' gardening
Dinner

Still need to get the last lot of towels dry and the rest of the laundry away, and clean up the kitchen from dinner.

Also got to go and torment DS1 by putting antibiotic cream on his infected toe...

Evening, scraping in with seconds to spare as usual! Einstein we are also working on bedroom renovations at the moment, have dumped old mattresses today at the tip a job not helped by persistent rain making them heavier when tied to the car. Cag a relative of mine started as an unpaid volunteer with an org and ended up as a paid member of staff doing longer hours than their previous job. It can kind of creep up on you! Well done on the commended for your DD. Knitting that sounds like an exhausting day of negotiations for you. Grey, the haircut!

Links to follow.

The daily summary - also available at the flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 8 - the start of the control journal with morning and evening routines

We are moving into Zone 2 next week, the kitchen

Missions are posted Monday to Friday, free day today - hooray!

The daily focus for Sunday is: renew your spirit

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

Checking back in again.
I'm loosely following this, but still in declutter mode in all zones!! Another 6 bags to charity shop on Thursday, and seven items listed to sell on local pages. Things are now starting to get homes as I have proper space to put them and its feeling bloody great.
I've also started some good tidy up five min routines before bed, it feels great to come down in a morning to a tidier house.
I'm also employing the never go upstairs/downstairs empty handed, there is always something that needs moving either direction, so instead of creating piles to eventually shift, just do it each time you naturally go that way.

Some impressive "ta-da" lists this weekend up thread. Well done everyone.

Wow people are making good progress! I on the other hand am not.

Think I'm on a comedown from the stress of work stuff, feeling really demotivated TBH. Have just been browsing online and spending money rather than doing anything useful!

I didn't manage my list and am completely bed bound today. Burnout. Not even able to craft. Pacing? yeah what's that?

Oh sorry Einstein :( Pacing really isn't as easy as it sounds, is it :(

Been to car boot today - had a fab time. Bought back a load of clobber, but will sort out some stuff to give away to balance things out! Wanted to buy loads more but ds got all moany so we had to leave. Just about to do a kitchen clean! Had dcs all weekend whilst dh on a course. It's mostly been ok, but not too much time for myself!

I just daren't go to car boots and the like midlife! I'm bad enough in charity shops. especially since starting home ed. All those lovely educational books, games, DVDs... sigh

Booked our little trip away. 2 nights Leicester, 2 nights Birmingham. So we'll be seeing the Space Centre, the Think Tank science museum, and the Board Game expo :o :o :o

dh is back, rather weary, but

we managed to go to Hampstead Heath this morning lunchtime for a sunny picnic
walked miles

ds2 and I signed various agreements with the school re mobiles and computer use and behaviour, ds2 Im glad to see showing an interest in his student planner and actually stuck a timetable in. Wonders will never cease. Only three day week to start.

Forced him to try his uniform on and put on school shoes, he was very reluctant and tense about it, until Dh said he looked like a Mafia accountant, then he cheered up!

Then I felt more and more harassed For rather ridiculous reasons of course, that is always the way.

first, I have ds1 telling me he doesn't know the connection between Stephen and St Paul's conversion, and he doesn't care either, and then I have dh saying he had only just discovered that Jacob had two wives and wasn't that strange? Had he not heard of the story of Jacob and Rachel before???? Both meant to come from religious backgrounds, but clearly not...

Anyway, if I can just get through to tomorrow, safely deposit Ds2 at his new school and find that when he gets home that he had an "Okay" day I will be very grateful to someone up above, that is for sure. Doesn't help that it is suddenly so hot, ds2 is already complaining that his uniform is hot and itchy and uncomfortable and his shoes feel like lead weights. I am trying to convince him that he will enjoy that feeling of coming home and changing into home clothes of his own choice.

Cagliostro how is home ed going? I would LOVE to do this. Ds4 has just started school but I feel odd about it. It doesn't sit right. His personality has changed already. I just don't like the fact I can't protect him, or see him all day.

It's been a glorious day here, with a choir performance in lovely gardens, boys (mostly) on good form, and dinner on the patio this evening. :)

at mafia accountant, Knitting, and at trip away, Cag.

Hope tomorrow is better, Einstein

I have to say, midlife, it's going brilliantly thank you! I think we've hit our stride now, and we are at a good balance (for us I mean) of structure and freedom, in terms of the amount/type of work we're doing. DCs are really enthusiastic about learning again, and we're doing all sorts of stuff. I'm learning alongside them (for example we're all doing Spanish together) which has definitely helped, rather than just being grown ups teaching them stuff, IYSWIM?

It's the mental health aspect that's the most important though. They are both so much happier and more confident, and more 'themselves'.

I had a stark reminder this evening though of why we took DD out in the first place. She was struggling generally once she started Juniors, but the main thing was that she was being mercilessly bullied, and the school were doing nothing. Before we deregistered, DD was getting migraines, clearly triggered by stress (exactly the same pattern as DH had). After one of these, when she'd got sick with it at school and therefore had to have 48hrs off due to the vomiting, she had her worst ever panic attack when DH took her back to school. That was our line-in-the-sand moment, seeing just how unsafe she felt there.

Anyway, she's not had a migraine in the 14 months since, which we took as one of many signs that she really is happier away from that environment. Until today. She has finally dozed off now, after the familiar headache/visual disturbance/puke cycle. While she was curled up with the headache earlier, she told me what had happened today. The neighbour was pushing her over, dragging her by the ankles etc when they were playing out. I'd had no idea :( she plays with this girl frequently [this isn't the girl I mentioned in the previous thread] and while she can be quite demanding/overbearing, she's never done anything like this before. We had a good talk about it, but I could see how it had just taken her right back to how she felt at school when the bully was beating her up. It's no coincidence that she's got a migraine now. :(

Great decluttering Ratbag, you are so right about things having homes to go to - that is what I struggle with. Cagliostro hope your DD is OK after the migraine and the neighbour. Midlife good balance with the items in/out, I used to do that years ago and it is really effective. Knitting I really hope that DS has a good day at school. Blue wins the day by the sound of it, I briefly considered eating outside but the wind breeze kept blowing out the citronella tealights! Einstein, rest and recuperate stern!

Gorgeous if breezy weather here today. Have just done a marathon wash-up in the kitchen. We do have a dishwasher, but also seem to have a mystifying amount of washing up to do.

Links to follow!

Monday

The daily summary for Monday - also available at flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 9 - decluttering and room rescues

We are in Zone 2 this week: the kitchen

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 2.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 2 is here

Mission for Monday cleaning the kitchen worktops

The daily focus for Monday is: weekly home blessing hour

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

Thank you Cotswold. She's ok, she felt so much better after being sick. Thankfully her migraines are intense but over quickly!

Really not sure whether to speak to the other mum about it though. DH reckons I should, but I'm not sure yet. Hoping it's just a one-off (I know things have changed at home for her) and that if I say tomorrow "DD doesn't want to play today because you did X yesterday" (that's what DD has asked me to do) that will be enough as she will realise it's not gone unnoticed.

Good morning fledglings!

Knitting very best of luck to your ds2 today at his first day at new school! Have all fingers and toes crossed for him (and for you!).

Hope you are feeling a bit more rested today Einstein

Well done on clearing the kitchen surfaces Cotswold

Ratbag congrats on the decluttering and good to hear the system is working well for you!

Glad your dd is feeling better Cag. I remember when dd was in a similar situation once with a rather unruly play mate (kept finding dd being pinned down by this particular child when they were playing hospitals and found it odd that dd was always the coma patient who wasn't allowed to move or speak for long periods of time who got sat on [hmm or kept finding her being tied up in corners ) that we practised a bit of role playing re: assertiveness based on some great exercises I found on-line. Of course, I can't remember where I found them now but they really helpedl!

Well done re: your list Blue and envious of your choir performance in lovely garden which sounds idyllic! Best alternative dh and I could manage last night was on a dog walk around the local quartier when we could hear the priests singing evening vespers in their garden as usual. Very nice standing there with the blossom all around and the lovely music though!

Congrats on your humungously productive Saturday Grey! But oh dear to the haircut!! It s

Waves to Midlife and yes, if its any consolation, dh drives me mad the way he rushes through the house (when he is here) like a hurricane at least three times a day leaving a trail of detritus of files, cables, papers, keys, bags in his wake for muggins to pick up - grrrr - and don't get me started on the state of the kitchen when he cooks, in particular the surfaces, sink, and bin - I have to go in there with haz cam clothing and a blast cleaner once he's finished and to top it off ... the way he just leaves his dirty socks and pants on top of the laundry basket must be designed specifically to trigger my rage because it is oh so much hard work lifting the lid isn't it ??? [and breathe]

Sorry, that posted itself then!

Also meant to say ...

Grey hopefully your ds's hair will grow really fast!

Knitting your descriptions of various extra-curricular related meltdowns really (sorry!) helped me on Friday because dd had a major ballet meltdown on Wed evening (tiredness) and another strop when she had to go to rehearse over the weekend; so it helped to know I was not alone! (DD loves ordinary dance class but hates having to go on stage, so this time of year is always a trial. I don't think I dealt with it as patiently as you do though!)

Also forgot to say congrats to your dd with her dancing result Cago!

And wow re: your Saturday list Einstein!

Feeling slightly better now (a) back seems considerably stronger and (b) we have managed to cross two guilt inducing social obligations off the list this weekend because we had some ballet friends and their parents over on Friday night (which went on very late in to the night) and had an old friend who is leaving town around for a proper English tea yesterday which lasted five hours and ran on in to supper. Just three more suppers to go!

This year is going so fast - ballet 'spectacle' plus exams over next few weeks - then summer hols start at end of June. Can't believe it!

In addition did loads of laundry, cleaned and hoovered downstairs multiple times, managed to persuade dd to sort of clean and tidy her room although I ended up doing most of it. We started decluttering a load of clothes and toys but didn't get nearly enough done though unfortunately.

Heigh ho! I have tidied up this morning and now have to take my car in for a service but am very glad to be leaving the kitchen sink behind for a while!

Big waves to everyone I've missed and have a productive start to the week everyone!

Don't be too impressed SC that saturday list still needs doing.
Gentle day here. Plenty of fluids and rest. Stupid english weather! Sudden jumps in temp always lay me flat for a few days and I think that was the biggest culprit yesterday.

Pacing - yes it is hard. Especially when you are increasing activity levels to build a new norm. Getting the balance right is just difficult

SC Yes, it was lovely. I need to remember though, that even on a fabulous day, there were moments when we could have cheerfully throttled DS1, and times when the boys were bickering remorselessly etc. That sound negative but it helps not to idealise the good days when it comes to dealing with the bad ones, as well as with putting other peoples "Facebook lives" into context! (hope you see what I mean!)

Glad you are taking it gently anyway Einstein

And oh lawd yes Blue - was so happy serving my "English" tea yesterday - white tablecloth, cake turned out ok, proper tea cups (first time used in 9yrs!!) crab apple blossom in a vase, dainty finger sandwiches etc etc... it was all perfect save for dd rolling her eyes and scowling at me across the table every time I uttered a word. I could have cheerfully throttled her too! Then the dog decided to do something unspeakable on the lawn in full view of our guests cue dh backing out of French windows waving a crotte bag oh the shame.

Boiling here again today and quite humid too. All I have done is some gentle tidying up, welcomed and paid dog walker, a bit of washing up by hand and stacking of dw, the washing of some ballet clothes and gym kit and went to get car serviced, sat around for hours in a boiling waiting room before they decided to tell me it would require being kept in overnight, and came back on tram, with school run on the way. Don't know why I feel so shattered

Need to root around the fridge and start on dinner now and pick things off the boudoir and bathroom floor that I did not drop [harrumph].

Evening all,

Sorry, been MIA again, feeling a bit stressed about upcoming Open University exam (1st week June), so I've been trying to stay off MN. But I did spot Midlfe's post about DH's and nodded my head vigorously, we had something of a showdown about his lack of participation in the running of the household yesterday. Apart from a few jobs that we have agreed are his he rarely lifts a finger unless I ask him to and I was running round like a headless chicken last night supervising hairwashing and detangling, spellings, times tables, sorting packed lunches, ironing school shirts, when I should have been revising and he had his backside plonked on the sofa. I shouldn't have to bloody well ask him to do stuff, he just never seem to see dirt and clutter unless I point them out.

Rant over. Anyway, I'm neglecting the allotment and bailing out of my ballet class this evening (DH has just taken the DCs to football so I have a couple of hours to revise, must get off MN).

well, first day back at real school today for ds2 after nearly two years, and my goodness he did NOT enjoy it.

He said that he wasn't going back tomorrow We'll see how this pans out..watch this space I was relieved to find that the geography topic (Coastal Slumping, we had already covered) It is not the lessons which are a problem of course, but the people asking questions all the time (what is your name and what school did you come from) and the environment..will have to see how tomorrow goes, and possibly I will have to send an email first thing tomorrow warning the SENCO he is not happy with the set up.

On the plus side, spurred on by a desire to make home a delightfully welcoming sanctuary after a long hard day at school [ha ha] I cleaned both the sons' bedrooms from top to bottom, dusted all the models by washing them in the shower, noticed that ds2's carpet really does need replacing as the moth is very bad under his bed (carpet is 20 years old) - warning not to put those under drawer boxes unless you are prepared to hoover under them frequently - they really attract dustbunnies. Decluttered some books from his room.

Washed three loads of washing
sorted ds1s desk
hoovered bedroom floors
dusted ds2 shelves
changed sheets on beds
s & s bathroom
cooked cheesy potatoes
walked up and down stairs endlessly

Cag interesting you said that about the trigger. Dh thinks that other boys asking ds about his old school (the one he left in Year 7) is what is making him feel tense, rather than the questions per se.