May-be this time - Fledglings flutter through May 2016 (Flylady thread)

[CotswoldStrife]

Welcome all - and thanks to SpareCrust for leading us through April.

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Link to the Flylady website

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

Anyway, while I'm here and wide awake I'll talk home education. It wasn't even on my radar until about ten years ago when I met a couple of people who were doing it and on the same training course I met some very jaded teachers who were talking about the negative impact of the school system on both kids and teachers and the seed was sown.

Meerkitten is a Summer baby so she would barely be four when expected to start school.

I just want to be open to what seems like the best thing for her which includes letting her go to school if that is what she really wants.

I think I just don't want the natural joy of learning that I think we all have to be crushed out of her by an overly restrictive curriculum and school structure.

I loved school and still have a real love of learning and intellectually I was definitely ready for school but emotionally I'm not so sure.

I think I maybe favour the idea of either home schooling or flexible schooling until she is seven or eight and knows her own mind and interests a bit better and is perhaps more emotionally robust to take the knocks that school will inevitably bring.

Blimey this has turned into a bit of an essay so will post now

I have to confess that I'm checking out the home ed play group on the quiet at the moment while I see how I feel and maybe get some solid arguments in play before I sound DP out about the whole idea.

I don't honestly know how he'll feel although I can't imagine him being totally opposed as whilst he did well at school the rigidity of the school day wasn't great for him as a hyper active person who struggles to sit still and concentrate.

I'm also aware that I haven't told any of my new mum friends that I'm interested in home education and I think it is because it can be a hugely emotive subject that people can get really defensive about.

Did anyone else feel like that?

I have told a few pre baby friends though who have been very positive. However, one did home ed herself and the other two don't have children so I'm not sure that they are a representative group.

So for the moment I shall continue to enjoy having a secret play group that I attend. I have to confess that there is something quite fun about almost having a secret hobby

Or maybe I'm just losing it now having lain awake for over four and a half hours!

Hello fledglings!

A morning of confusion here so far. It's Ascension (public holiday) here and I encouraged madeeveryone go across the road to Mass at 9.30 am this morning. Dh protested because he said it isn't a Holy Day of Ob and that Sunday is official 'Ascension' day. Not sure who is right tbh.

Then I screwed up woefully by making a very noddy-level cultural mistake assuming that when dd's godparents said they are coming over for coffee, I assumed it would be at 11 am. It turns out they are coming over this afternoon so the day's plans (church, coffee with friends, out to the countryside and a riding lesson for dd) are buggered and it is all my fault and dh and dd are (understandably) upset and blaming me. Dh said "it is only the English and some upper class Chinese who assume coffee is at 11 am and tea is at 4pm you wombat, none of the rest of the world does". Oh dear . Such a bummer because it is a lovely day and I desperately wanted to make a break for green fields ... .

Poor you Dogsbum hope you managed to catch a bit of sleep in the end! V conscientious of your dh to check on you so regularly, but hope he does it a bit more quietly next time and takes Meerkitten in with him thereafter. I really admire anyone who home schools. It was never a possibility here because we felt it important that dd learns the two native languages to a 'native' standard (as much as is poss anyway) but I am enormously admiring of anyone who has the motivation and patience to do it. Done well, I think it must foster a v special relationship with your child. You definitely sound like you have the dedication to do it!

Thanks for sympathies over era ending! I really adored the baby and infant stage, adored having plastic crap all over the sitting room floor and play doh stuck to every surface and messy painting and craft activities and sand everywhere. So it's a huge change! I kind of instinctively "knew" what to do with a small person; but I'm all at sea with a near teen.

Wow at your lists Einstein and arf at shark gnashing its teeth in your freezer

So sorry to hear about the work situation Cag glad you are ok

Hope you are feeling better Toffee!

Enjoy your day out Cotswold!

Right, owing to misunderstanding, at least I am visitor ready (Mary Berry's blueberry and lime cake and ginger biscuits made) and dd has done her ballet practice and half of her maths hwk, dog has been walked etc, so now just have to find a way to resurrect the day for everyone ... . hmmmm ... think a quick trip out (to a destination of dd's choice) might be in order ... .

Enjoy the sunshine everyone!

why do I want to declutter in a different zone from what we're in! Argh!
Can anyone tell me anything motivational to get back into flying... Feeling a bit sorry for myself!
Dogsbumhair - I would love to homeschool/ flexischool!

Just popping in briefly but yes Dogs it can be such a divisive issue, and it may be best to keep quiet about it on the whole. Which sucks, frankly. But people do often take it personally as if by not sending the children to school, you're saying they are bad people for doing so!

I'll always remember when I asked a mum I met at the library if she was applying for school places (her DD was of that age and I didn't have a clue about the system) and she said no as they'd decided to HE. When I replied "oh cool! Can you tell me about it?" she looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. :o She was amazed to get a positive, interested response compared to the (many many) negative ones she'd had.

Good afternoon fledglings, and a big welcome-wing-flap to Rookie and Bordello

I fell off the April thread and late on here as I have taken on some shifts at my old workplace. It was such a shock to the system after a year of being a part time work at home mum to back to a nearly full time working week!

So not surprisingly, I have done very little flying this week. Mount Washmore is so tall I swear I can see a cloud about its summit....

Cotswold - thanks for the new thread, I will happily yield the Golden Duster to you

Dogs - glad your little one is feeling better. I have found a similar response from people when they find out that my DS will be going to a private school. Some people seem to take offence, as if I am judging them and their choices/lifestyle. Our schooling decisions have nothing to do with other people and ultimately we will do what we feel is best for our children/families.

Oops SC on your mix up! And for what its worth, a social coffee occasion should always be between 10-11am imho.

Cag rotten news re the job, what do you see happening in the future?

< waves to Blue WhoKnows Einstein Toffee Mercury Shannara Ellie Knitting Honu >

Hope you managed to get some fresh air and sunshine anyway, SC.

Waves back to Grey.

Hope you got some rest, Dogs

Had another semi-crisis clean today as someone was coming to the house. Also cleaned the car, so that you can see through the windscreen again. DH was out doing a long run on main roads and it came back all besplattered with bugs!

Thanks folks

I won't be looking for another 'proper' job. I'm still on the redeployment register until the day my notice runs out, so technically there's a chance something will turn up (which I then have the option of taking if I feel it would be right for me - I am not obligated to do it), although given the council cutbacks etc I'm really not hopeful.

So I'll be self employed instead! I've had a few pupils for a while now, but hadn't advertised for months and months. So I will now start advertising again which will hopefully get me a few new pupils. Also I've been approached about teaching maths in the home ed community, and a recorder club. And yesterday my friend got me some editing work! :)

Evening. Had a really lovely day today, bit busy but the fabulous weather really helped too. DD is shattered. Also managed to vote (Police and Crime Commissioner only here) although for the first time DD didn't come with me. My mum always took us with her to vote, I remember cramming into the booth with her and watching her mark the ballot paper. so I do the same.

Now consuming vino, unusually for me on a school night so better get the links done now before the remaining evening goes pear-shaped!

I am slightly surprised that no matter which way you choose to educate your child, someone is going to clutch their pearls over it (according to the experience of others on here). Some days it does feel as if you can't win, so you just have to make the best choice for your child.

See you tomorrow!

The daily summary for Friday - also available at the flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 6 - hotspots!

We are in Zone 1 this week: Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 1.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 1 is here

Mission for Friday choose your own mission today

The daily focus for Friday is: declutter your bag and your car, and date night

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

At what point do you stop writing your to do list
Mine is currently at 3 sides of A5 and still growing. And that is definitely not even close to everything that needs to get done in the next week.

Good morning!

Agree about the all the education angst. Surely it is not the type of schooling that counts, it is the quality of the teaching in that setting (whatever that may be) and its suitability for that indiv child.

Very early 5am start today! Looks like it is going to be a glorious weather again!

We are on (school) holiday but entertaining again tonight. (I am trying to squish the repayment of all our social obligations in to this one long holiday weekend because the entire weekend next weekend will be taken up with ballet rehearsals, the one after that with the 'spectacle' itself (dd is in two dances this year so she is there for the entire day each time and the concert itself takes place x 3 on three separate days) so a real flask and sandwiches job.

Cotswold ta for links. The weather makes such a difference doesn't it? Yay to your lovely day yesterday!

Ta da:
animals
ironed sofa covers
changed sofa covers
stripped dd bed
changed dd bed
early morning raid on supermarket
hunted for hours to find the right cookie cutter and nearly did my back in again in the process moving boxes note to self: ruddy well organise the basement!!
made ginger biscuits
cleared up baking things
marinaded chicken and bunged in fridge
dw, wm, td, hung up darks wash
dining room table hot spots
tidied up bathroom
cleaners currently doing a home bleugh!

Well if it's anything like mine Einstein (I call mine the never-ending list of doom) it just keeps on growing! And it doesn't include the regular, more immediate things such as shopping, cooking and washing and tidying. Some things remain on there undone for weeks and months or years by which time they have usually obsoleted themselves (if that's a word). Others get moved from list to list but get done eventually. I've got to the stage now, where if 75% of the things on the main list get done, then I am happy. I find the control journal works well because I have a list of weekly, fortnightly, monthly, twice-monthly and annual tasks in there.

Well done Cag sounds as though if you have plenty of strings to your self-employment bow allowing you (hopefully) to structure your hours so that you don't get too exhausted with it all.

Only managed a quick trip to shops for black dance shorts yesterday Blue but heading out to green fields in a mo! [Hence early morning cooking so everything is ready to bung in oven for friends as soon as we get back. Also have tomorrow totally free to do the same (hopefully!). The weather could not be better for it!] I'm with you on the crisis cleaning each time friends come over!

Grey it is bound to be a huge adjustment heading back to work (especially when sleep deprived) so don't be too hard on yourself and take it steady! You can demolish Mt Washmore step by small step over time!

Knitting hope you are surviving exam season!

A warm welcome to Bordellosboheme! I don't think it matters a jot if you are doing zone work in the "wrong" zone as long as you are doing something! In fact, I think zoning is Flylady's cunning strategy, working with the principles of reverse pyschology, to get us to do something rather than nothing!

I am working in my home office right now for example which is a pigsty. You will be amazed what a mere 15 mins of focused decluttering every day will achieve! So just adapt the system to suit yourself and your house and lifestyle. It really is the main principles which work well ie small focused steps, one load of washing per day, certain fixed essential routines morning and evening, 15 mins decluttering per day, running the hoover around at least once a week - these are the things that keep that panicky "everything needs doing all at once" feeling at bay. And the zones all come around one after the other, so if you miss it once, there is always another opportunity!

We all go through horrible motivational slumps from time to time. When that happens we whinge on here (I do a lot of that [blush), or use the power of three technique, or post a to do list here and then a ta da one at the end of the day. Or just come on for a natter! It really helps. If you really are overwhelmed with that CBA then just do 5 mins, then stop and have a cup of tea. Or break one tiny task down in to three small steps. I promise you that having achieved one thing for 5 mins, it really will make a difference, and that will give you the motivation to do the next thing for 5 mins. I know this because I have been there! (Which is why me and a few others started this thread over five years or so ago.) But as each space and area gets cleared, it really does spur you on to the next! Good luck with it!

Hope other newcomers doing ok and don't hesitate to ask qs if not!

Big waves to Toffee Whoknows Feetheart Shannara Ellie Honu Dogsbum Mercury and everyone else I've missed!

Have a good day one and all!

Ta Da
Evict child to school - it was a battle
Car blankets on to wash
Ds' training kit onto wash
New school paperwork omg how much?!
Current school paperwork ----
Deliver relavent paperwork to relevant schools
try to figure who wants what school picture wise
Start to construct parcels that need sending out, realise missing addresses, items etc etc
Ring GP to find out vaccination info and who GP actually is (tbh never seen him)
Update diary
Wash blanket for storage

Realise that paperwork handling has taken ALL morning. look for lots of little easy jobs on to do list to make self feel better.

Ahh does anyone ever get really ragey with their husband's stuff? I know that Fly lady goes on about being all peaceful about dh's stuff and just sort your own, but AARRGGG piles of shit!!

yes, Midlife. However, I think it can be encouraging to a partner to sort their own stuff when they see you have sorted yours. It might take a while but in the end the penny drops.

In the past I have often blamed dh for his stuff, when really I have my own issues too. It is much easier to blame someone else, I think what she is getting at is that when you address your own personal challenges, other people's annoying habits are just much less...well annoying, because you feel calmer and stronger per se. Whereas if you depend on someone else to change, and they don't...well you get incredibly frustrated and angry..which is of course bad for the health..

I am surrounded by dh's possessions atm..the worst is that he now bought himself another 3 new shirts, whilst not getting rid of any of the old ones 1000 s of crime thrillers in addition to an entire houseful of his business. Not to speak of piles of cardboard for packing materials. But I am trying to change him by osmosis. I have my eye on a particular duvet and pair of curtains in the attic which he is refusing to get rid of and reminds him of his student days..

I felt v anxious this morning because some guests were coming over for coffee. But I managed to sort out one room, and the garden so we avoided the other rooms, and it was worth it. It has been a lovely day really. Ds2 went by himself to football with his companion, and back home by himself too, played with his friend, friend earned some money doing gardening jobs for me -ds2 ran away at this point Ds1 in a very mellow mood. But penny beginnign to drop he needs to revise RE..he is talking about failing it, I wonder why.

My challenge this evening is to get rid of the bin contents (it is a bin which is too large for a dustbin liner, really avoid this rookie mistake, the unemptiable bin ) put another wash on, GET TO BED EARLY, and possibly give the children some food...

I feel incredibly tired, another 6am start and lots of driving today...

The daily summary for Saturday - also available at the flight plan which should update automatically each day.

**

Baby-step no 7 – before bed routine (really worth doing IMO, especially getting your clothes ready)

We are in Zone 1 this week: Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 1.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 1 is here

No missions at the weekend, they run Monday-Friday – yay! Could do the weekly pamper mission if you wish

The daily focus for Saturday is: family fun day

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

Evening although it's really a very early good morning all. And a warm welcome to Bordello, good to have you with us.

I sympathise with the ever-growing to-do list Einstein. I did read about a method where you do a brain dump (put down everything you need to do) and then assign about three tasks a day into a diary or similar. This does work IMO not an expert because although it feels odd to say you'll do whatever task in the future, I never get round to it if I'm just looking at a massive list - it's not going to get done that day anyway! Results may vary.

Meh to the lack of sleep and early mornings Dogs, SC, Knitting. Hope you all get a longer snooze tonight. Cag good news that work is flooding in but be careful not to end up working longer hours than you did before!

Midlife not a court in the land would convict you ...

Unfortunately this are things that have to be done BY wednesday. No ifs. no buts. Must be done. did a lot of soft tasks which were time suckers yesterday. Today the plan is to hit the more practical quicker to kill off jobs so that I can clear a good chunk of the list and have another soft task day. Monday is a rest day. Tuesday and Wednesday are back to being crazy busy. And then on Wednesday I get to make the list for the next week (it will be the same length). But there is an end and a deadline so it is not ongoing. It is intense and will be over. and then i get to clear up the building mess ready for summer and visitors

So one lie in had, ds is tidying his room and he will probably need some help in a moment. Then coffee, more laundry and to take a bed appart spoiler alert it will be put back together when stuff has been put inside for storage and the matress has been turned

To do
disasemble storage box
take bed apart
put stuff into storage
put bed back together
clear top of chest of drawers
move and rescue the stuff that fell down the back
put chest of drawers back
put cupboard (mini ornament storage type size) bac on top
finish sorting floor
hoover floor
tackle bathroom
hoover ds' room
hoover thro' downstairs
empty car
hoover car
wash car
Check car (tyres, oil water etc)
Check MOT due date!!!
lots of laundry
folding
ironing
clothes putting away
trip to post office
pick up water and biscuits for car (lots of road trips so emergency supplies kept as standard)
Make flapjacks /muesli bars as we are now in summer and lunch is for the weak well if you were a young boy and had a choice of sandwiches and football, you'd probably take the football too... lets be realistic
finish craft project
By bias tape for finishing off the bunting.

There is probably more but that is the bare minimum that needs to be done today. The is just soooo much that needs to be done. Ticket to a tropical island for 1 please!

Fair point Cotswold :o I doubt I would be, and at least the work is soooo much gentler. None of this heavy lifting malarkey. And I can stay in my pyjamas for the editing work woohoo. I think the class teaching (as opposed to private tutoring) may take more physical effort but I'm only planning on 2hrs a week for that :)

This heat is horrible :o (I know I complain just as much when it's cold! ). Knackered after taking DD to dancing (quite a walk from the bus stop there) but worth it as she got her results from the exam she took a few weeks back - she got a Commended! :)

To do
disasemble storage box
take bed apart
put stuff into storage
put bed back together
clear top of chest of drawers
move and rescue the stuff that fell down the back
put chest of drawers back
put cupboard (mini ornament storage type size) bac on top
finish sorting floor
hoover floor
tackle bathroom
hoover ds' room
hoover thro' downstairs
empty car
hoover car
wash car
Check car (tyres, oil water etc)
Check MOT due date!!!
lots of laundry in progress
folding
ironing
clothes putting away
trip to post office
pick up water and biscuits for car (lots of road trips so emergency supplies kept as standard)
Make flapjacks /muesli bars as we are now in summer and lunch is for the weak hmm well if you were a young boy and had a choice of sandwiches and football, you'd probably take the football too... lets be realistic
finish craft project in progress
By bias tape for finishing off the bunting.

And having checked ds' room tidying it has to go back on the list. We have very different definitions of tidy it would seem!

Hurrah for the "Commended" Cag! Be sure to put it on the wall if it is a certificate, mine love reminding themselves of positive achievements.

Beyond knackered. Husband back from Germany this evening, no doubt expecting lovely tidy house, well he won't get it!!! Have a rather fraught morning, dropping various people to various events/revision sessions, up very early as usual Lovely cup of coffee first thing though!
hung out two loads of washing

still haven;t properly tackled the oversize bin

made quick lunch with Lloyd Grossman sauce pasta
took ds2 swimmign before drama, to stop him vegetating and to get him on the road, as he was doing that sinister thing of saying he wanted to give up drama (noooo!) as it was too tiring for him think anxiety about school already kicking in Also had to bribe him with chips at the swimming pool, cue him then telling me felt sick before drama..

Anyway he went to drama (phew)
Ds1 then said he wasn;t going to singing. More bribery. I said I would drive him. So that to follow. He has however been singing various forgotten Musical classics from a score anthology I found in a Oxfam shop so I forgive him. Was singing Panis Angelicus in his bedroom on Thursday a sound for sore ears..

oh and dd had a fit AFTER her drama because she couldn't find anyone to meet up with from school, so I had to briber HER to read a chapter of a book, good heavens you wouldn;t think reading a book was so difficult or entertaining yourself. Gave her When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit and I Capture the Castle in the hope that the first chapter of at least one would convince her that reading was enjoyable.