Combining April showers with Fledgling powers (2016)

[SpareCrust]

Humungous thanks to Greymalkin for leading us so professionally and capably through March!

And thank you in advance to Einstein for covering the first four days of this thread (while I sidle off)!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Flylady link here.

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

Hey all. Not Flying at all, must sort tumble dryer before it gets left another night

Majorly anxious the last few days, been around people too much I think haha.

Glad to hear you are ok Dogs! That teething/chewing/getting mobile age can be quite demanding, so hope you are getting enough rest yourself. It is such a lovely age though too! Can't believe Meerkitten will be one soon!! Where has the time gone? !!

Sorry you are feeling anxious Caglio sounds as though a bit of 'alone' time might be in order to r & r! [Proffers calming camomile tea.]

I didn't do as much as I wanted to get done today - had to fight through fatigue - but achieved a bit here and there (too boring to note).

Have to do a bit of late night baking tonight though so posting links and saying 'goodnight' now!

Expansive wing flaps to all fledglings!

Baby-step no 23 for tomorrow, Fri 22nd April is: here. It warns us against procrastination and explains how to build a control journal in 15 steps.

We are in Zone 4: The Master Bedroom, Bath, Closet (April 17 – 23) what we call the boudoir.

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 4.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here.

Friday's mission is turning your mattress and fluffing pillows.

The daily focus for Friday is decluttering our purses, handbags and cars.

The monthly habit for April is www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/april/ making your bed!

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

**

Lovely to see you, Dogs, and the Meerkitten photos are adorable!

Big project mostly done now, SC, but has gone off in a very weird direction... Thanks for !

DH is a bit under the weather, so we're waiting to see whether this is some highly infectious lurgy. And I tried to go to Zumba, only to find they've changed the time of the class. Grr!

Good to see you and Meerkitten again, dogs.

DD seemed fine this morning, perhaps she was/is just tired. One more day of school. How I envy you at the moment dogs, I have been missing those pre-school days that were less deadline-driven.

blue at least you tried to exercise that's almost as good as attending the class IMO.

SC I'm not doing too badly on the rest front as whilst she does wake up for feeds Meerkitten spends about 12 hours in bed and the first five to six hours are usually unbroken so I don't do too badly compared to a lot of mums and at least she does go back to sleep immediately after a feed.

It is indeed a lovely time. Once she finally got the hang of eating at about eight and a half months she started putting on weight and needing less breast feeds so that suddenly made life a lot easier. It also meant that for the first time she was considered to be a healthy weight so now I only have to go for monthly weigh ins rather than the weekly ones that I had to go to for so long.

Also once she could sit up she could start entertaining herself a bit more which made things easier and it is the same with the crawling, she can definitely occupy herself for longer now so I can get a bit more done in terms of washing up, laundry, etc.

Although the other side of that is that I do have to have eyes in the back of my head as she gets into everything. I've caught her numerous times removing the artificial coals out of the fire, etc

Thanks Blue and Cotswold it is good to be back. Although I'm trying to write this whilst Meerkitten is determined to stand up hanging on to coffee table one handed so I have to keep grabbing her, not the easiest way to type!

Cotswold people do keep telling me how much harder it is once school is in the equation. A friend of mine who has a little boy starting school in September has already been given a list of dates that she is supposed to be available for before he even starts. Luckily she is a SAHM or she would never be able to attend them all.

On that note, last week I attended a play group for people considering home schooling which felt really exciting. I'm looking forward to getting to meet people both home schooling and considering home schooling and finding out more about whether it is the right thing and how it might work for us. I'd also like to find out about flexi-schooling, which I hadn't even heard of until this week. Apparently there is a big home schooling community in my area so I'm looking forward to learning more about it.

Anyway, I need to get showered and dressed as we are off to a musical group this morning that we have started going to in the last couple of weeks. I seem to really be getting into baby groups, I definitely think it is good for my sanity to get out and have adults to talk to and I've met some really nice people.

I hope to sign in again soon

Morning all!

[Hope everyone is ok? And hope some [any?] newcomers are still with us!?]

A morning of chores here because my cleaner has finally turned up after a 3 week absence (I love her to death but our communication is not good as I don't speak Spanish and generally she is a woman of few words but with superlative action). Anyway, she has brought her daughter with her for a "thorough do". It would have been good to know about this in advance but heigh ho!

I also appear to have a modicum of energy back today so I am going to use it to declutter the office table. [Longs for new Ikea office chair which is currently sitting unassembled in hall.]

Blue hope your dh is ok and wierd direction sounds interesting ... . [ponders] Ditto what Cotswold said about it being the intention that counts!

Glad your dd is OK Cotswold. YY about ground-hog-day-ness of school run. I am personally counting the days until dd can get herself to school and back unaccompanied! I think it should be a matter of six months or so [fingers crossed].

Hope all fledglings have a productive day!

x posts!

Dogsbum

Really great to hear that you are getting a bit more rest, that dd is sleeping for longer and that all the previous weight issues have resolved themselves, which must be an incredible relief after all the stress you had! Really great also that you are getting out and about and meeting people. Hope you and Meerkitten this morning's musical group!

I am sure there are lots of other fledglings on here who would be willing to offer home-edding advice once you have made your decision!

[You have got me feeling v nostalgic now about that lovely exciting time when they are toddlers when you have to have eyes in the back of your head and they are happy sitting on the kitchen floor with a couple of small saucepans and a bag of dried pasta shapes!]

We are at the other end of the spectrum here. (Although it doesn't seem five minutes since dd was Meerkitten's age.) This is going to sound horrible but I am bemoaning the loss of my dynamo, feisty, smiley child [sobs with nostalgia]. Where did she go? [Genuine bemusement] A huge dose of hormones has evidently been delivered and dd has been transformed in to someone who seems to be in a dream half of the time (it takes questions being repeated three or four times to get through to her). Having been as quick and nimble and agile as a cat she now does everything slowly and bumps in to things and drops things bless her. All of that would be fine but she seems to assume that everything dh and I are about to say to her is an attack or at least negative . Is this what they call the adolescent brain I wonder? I know it is very tough on her, but dh and I are constantly biting our lips atm.

[Sorry, that wasn't meant to put you off or fill you with dread Dogsbum!! You still love 'em just as much!! ]

And I'm looking forward to ballet classe tonight when I can snatch brief glimpses through the window of dd as she used to be - a pirouetting whirlwind in pointe shoes!!

enjoy this morning's musical group!

rushing in to say Dogsbum people in our home schooling "community" (Sorry that sounds a bit naff) do say that you have to start early getting the friends etc, because otherwise the pressure (I don't mean that in a negative but in a cultural way) is on at about 3 to send them to nursery/apply for school, and all their peer group disappears (and your friends who you might hang out with etc)

I remember meeting all these three year olds in home ed meetups (people with no older children) and being baffled, and saying but surely you don't need to home ed a three year old, they don't go to school yet.. and this former was all explained to me

I do know people who have sent their little ones to nursery just for the perks and then still home schooled them from Reception at the point at which more formal schooling kicks in (which they wish to avoid) and that has worked fine too. There are so many different variations.

SC ds1 came out with a rash of spots the other day, and his adolescent brain seems dramatically improved...tis very odd, it's as if some hormone is now joining up all the neural pathways (the one that is giving him acne) Dd also seems slightly more sensible recently, although also went through a stage of dropping things and bumping into everything (and then complaining about it)

We left them here last night as we decided that as ds1 was 16 he was old enough to babysit. They seem to manage fine, only they ordered Domino's....[grrr] is this a form of sibling bonding??? Where did you get the money I asked ds2. ooh he said airily, ds1 had some...(but where did he get the money?...in true adolescent fashion he seems to be spending his birthday money on potato wedges And I cooked them new potatoes, duck legs and snap peas before I left...

And I am slightly high this morning (as you probably have guessed from my manic posts)

because the LA seems to have sorted out the funding issue for Ds2's EHCP and school place and are being all bright eyed and bushy tailed and we do wish you all the best and we are so terribly terribly helpful aren't we (I don't grudge them this delusion if they actually do something at last) YAY!

And we went out to dinner last night with an old friend, which is also quite a relief, to actually go out at all!!

Knitting YAAAAAYYYYYY on the school place!! And the funding!!! Brilliant news!! And a testament to your dogged patience and determination in ploughing through and putting up with all the evil bureaucracy!!!

YAY Knitting! So so happy for you.

And ooooh Dogs home ed eh? Awesome! I'm really loving it :) it's increasing massively in popularity - our county just got an extra 'inspector' type person because in our town alone, home ed has TRIPLED in the last 2 years . So I think as this continues, the social aspects will become even easier as there are more people around and therefore more clubs and trips organised.

I'm feeling slightly less wound up now thank you SC

Feeling rather excited actually - I've been vaguely wondering about setting up some kind of maths thing in the home ed community, but never really had the guts to do it - unlike piano, which I taught for years, I haven't really done a maths class before. But a few people have been asking lately and I've bitten the bullet and offered it up to the local home edders. No idea what kind of format it'd take so I'm basically asking what they'd want from it. Not going to happen til my work situation is resolved obviously (meeting in a couple of weeks :() but I thought I'd get planning now. It would mean hiring a hall, planning resources and stuff - eeek! :)

Knitting

Yippeeeee Knitting - as SC says, all that hard work and persistence on your part as done the trick. So pleased for you :)

Dogs - lovely to see you and the little one! She looks lovely. Its funny how we all like the different stages of DCs development - I found the baby stage sooooo tedious and mind numbing, but my DS is three now and is is just fabulous! He is trying so hard to be independent and assertive, learning new things all the time and the "Why...?" stage has started too!

Cag - Maths still terrifies me! Good luck with your class, but mind you don't take on too much < stern >

Blue - the fact you went to the Zumba venue is as good as doing it!

Big fledgling wing flaps to Cotswold Toffee WhoKnows Einstein Ellie Mercury MidLife WoodenSpoon and everyone else in the flock.

I have been in London all day at an eye clinic appointment. Managed to have lunch out with a friend too.

In rather exciting news, DH and I have our 10th wedding anniversary coming up (early next year) and we have decided to celebrate by renewing our wedding vows in the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, complete with an Elvis registrar. My plan is to slim down to a size 14 so I can wear my wedding dress again! I'll need to lose between 1.5 - 2 stone to do so and I'm going to get all creative and remodel my dress so that it is still obviously my old dress, but made fun rather than formal.
SC can we be body-clutter buddies?!

Duly noted Grey thank you - I will be careful don't worry :)

And wow at your vow-renewing plans! DH and I would like to do that, at Tintagel or similar :)

Knitting - Well done! Am so pleased for you. It makes the long fight worth it.

(This means that all three of us at that SEN workshop managed to get funding in the end ).

Grey - what a lovely celebration to look forward to!

Cag - good to hear your home-ed tutoring plans. I'm glad the home ed is going so well.

Sorry that you have already stumbled into the teenage years with your DD, SC. Have you read Zagazoo? Reminds me of that!

Dogsbum - interesting to hear that you are considering home educating. I wish I'd known about it when my children were younger.

Have had probably the most stressful work week so far at my new(ish) job. We are three members of staff down and the work is just piling up. It's insane. I missed every lunchbreak just to get stuff done in time for deadlines. Found myself awake at 4am, worrying about what there was to do. Am so glad that particular week is over. Bizarrely, I still love going into work, though. I love being back with people and feeling part of something. DH, on the other hand, finds looking after the house and children really, really hard - and lonely.

The house is a tip, although DH has tried to tidy it up this week. There just always seems to be detritus everywhere . Right now, on the sitting-room floor, I can see a half-eaten packet of biscuits, my hair tongs (my fault, that one ), loose A4 paper, a notebook, a kitchen roll, slippers, a tea towel, various toys, a place mat, some DVDs and a roll of dustbin bags. (I suspect the dustbin bags were brought through by DH in an attempt to tidy up one day).

Meanwhile, I am struggling to get DS1 to revise for his forthcoming Science GCSE. Have discovered from the school that he's working at a grade C level and so they've put him in for the foundation level GCSE (which means the maximum he can get is a C). Am a bit disappointed about that because he enjoys science and is hoping to get a good grade. In fact, school told me originally they thought he'd get a B or A. But, on the other hand, it's amazing that he's even going to school after all his struggles. I don't think there's much more I can do about getting him to revise: I've showed him past papers, shown him where to find videos on the topics, discussed a revision timetable with him, but all in vain. I don't know what he thinks will happen when he sits down in that exam room and has to answer all the questions.

Best friend is coming to stay this weekend, so am happy about that. Looking forward to and good chat.

Toffee ds1 did Foundation Grade core science last year, and he is doing Foundation again this year (the additional science I mean) He scored a C last year, and he was told you CAN get a B at Foundation as the practical can mean the difference between C and B (something to do with the practical being neither Higher or Foundation) Never really worked it out, but he could get a B if he is top of the Foundation level..and his practical is good. Not holding my breath for ds1 to get a B though, he is not good at science or remotely interested in it, since they stopped doing experiments when he joined the near bottom set...

My ds is not doing any revision outside school that has not been set by school and marked by school or organised by school! Luckily they are organising quite a few extra curricular sessions, every sat morning, and early in the morning weekdays, And Twilight. Not surprised he shows no interest in continuing once he escapes though.

Re: EHCP coming through with a bit of money attached to it, isn't a really big leap, just tiny steps in the right direction. The main problem is going to come once he goes back to school; coping with the homework and classroom. The blessing for us about this particular school is that it is literally at the end of the road, for ds2 the strain of actually getting him out of the house in the morning was often a trigger for anxiety, now at least he'll be able to sleep longer and just walk there, just like walking to the corner shop or football which he has done dozens of times before. Fingers crossed.

Toffee I think the fact that one is burning the candle at both ends with teenagers, preteens has something to do with the exhaustion that housework seems to inspire. They make loads of mess, demand food, it doesn't seem worth fighting them over small things like washing up and laundry when other things are stressful like exams, very early starts for school, and two jobs to organise. Dh plods on with the dw and making dd breakfast and some grocery, putting kids to bed etc, but he has just given up even attempting to tidy or clean...we are both perpetually exhausted and I am not even working! But definitely so much easier to have ds2 at home in many ways than struggling to keep up in the wrong school.

Oh I was about to put up the bunting and hand out the bellini cocktails there Knitting but see it is (as these things are) a bit more complicated than that. Nevertheless, steps in the right direction are good, even if they are small ones! And having the school at the end of the road sounds like it will remove all manner of stresses; so it's good that things are going positively anyway!

And yay to schools that facilitate revision! (Much easier on family life than having the mother - for it is usually she - applying the thumb screws.)

Also great that you were able to go out with your dh last night [arf at the Domino's though] and thanks for reassuring me that there is light at the end of the adolescent tunnel. Actually dd is on good form tonight and we have just built a minecraft house together.

Lovely to see you Toffee although your week at work just gone sounds rather hellish! (Just as well you really love your job if they are pushing you that hard.) Do try and look after yourself - although it can't be easy having down time when there are so many domestic demands to deal with - it must make weekends less than relaxing. (Although hope this forthcoming one will be fun!) V sorry to hear your dh is not enjoying the choring. I've forgotten whether you have a cleaner; if not, could you possibly employ one?

Zagazoo looks fab btw - have put it on my extensive Amazon wish list!

Oh and my god-daughter has a similar issue with her forthcoming maths GCSE ie she was put in a set that meant she couldn't get above a certain grade. Her mother was really disappointed because she said that she had previously made sudden leaps in maturity and understanding in other subjects when previously she had been falling behind. Surely this must be incredibly demotivating for dc and is entirely wrong? Talk about limiting ambition! I wonder what on earth the rationale is behind it?

Ooohhh Grey how exciting!!! That all sounds like great fun! Would love to be your body clutter buddy!

Cag the maths workshop idea sounds terrific! Enjoy the planning!

Had a relatively successful day today! Lovely cleaner arrrived with her daughter and they hoovered and dusted the entire house from top to bottom and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom and hall floor which was great! In fact I could have sworn that the kitchen floor was an entirely different colour yesterday !!

I have done the usual routines, changed two beds, done some prep for a church event I am involved with tomorrow, done two hrs of parish volunteering (although with flowers this time not old clothes), one school run, two dog walks two ballet runs and finally, finally, cooked a fish pie that actually tasted of something and wasn't too stodgy!

Going to hit the hay now! Hope all fledglings have a lovely weekend!

Oops - nearly forgot the links - big wing flaps to eveyrone!

Baby-step no 23 for tomorrow, Sat 23rd April is: here. Instigate an afternoon routine. I find this a v helpful step.

Tomorrow will be our last day in Zone 4: The Master Bedroom, Bath, Closet (April 17 – 23) what we call the boudoir.

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 4 (if you do zone work at weekends that is).

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here.

No mission because it is the weekend! Yay!

The daily focus for Saturday is: family fun.

The monthly habit for April is www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/april/ making your bed!

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Have a great weekend one and all!

Evening all,

Toffee - yes, I immediately thought of that workshop when I saw Knitting's post today. What a long journey we've all been on since then. Is your DH still running his business or is he completely SAHPing now? Such a big adjustment for you all.

Knitting - I'm so glad you are finally getting the EHCP for the school, you have had such a roller coaster ride with it. I feel a bit the same as you WRT perpetual exhaustion and burning the candles at both ends, mine might not quite be teens yet but they stay up later and later, eat more food than DH and I and generally keep us as busy as ever despite increasing independence.

Dogs - how lovely to hear from you and Meerkitten again, my how she's grown. I agree about meeting people at groups being a bit of a sanity saver, I definitely needed to do that and several people emerged as long term friends (babies are turning 12 now).

Grey - how exciting about the vow renewal plans. We are very bad at even remembering our anniversary (10th slipped by virtually unnoticed because we were on holiday, as we often seem to be). My cousin and her husband renewed theirs a few years ago and it was lovely.

Flying - errm not much. Been busy having coffee with friends, going to the optician, and taking the DCs to a funfair after school. The house isn't looking its best and we have a busy weekend in store. Must try harder!

knitting - the science teacher told me there is a chance of getting a B if the controlled assessment is good, but DS only scored a C in that (went into total denial about the whole thing and refused to revise for it at all, much to my despair at the time). I'm going to ask if the school are running any revision classes because that's clearly what he needs.

Your DS's new school sounds perfectly situated for him. Completely understand what you mean about the journey removing so much stress.

Oddly comforting to hear that you and DH are as defeated by the endless household clutter as we are.

No cleaner, SC . I did have one, briefly, but she moved on to better things after six months. It was nice whilst it lasted, although also stressful to have to tidy up for her .

knitting - DH is running his business part time, but just keeps it ticking over, so I'm the main wage earner now. He really is finding it tough and I feel for him, but it has been interesting to see our responses to our new situations and to realise that, no matter how hard my job is, it is always easier than full-time housework and childcare (something DH has now fully realised!).

DS1 has just come down to ask for a snack, so am going to take him up some biscuits and have a chat. I congratulated him on getting a certificate for his ICT work at school today: he said it was really embarrassing to have to go up to collect it in assembly, but he's very pleased. I'm glad that he's getting some encouragement from school.

Sorry, the second part of my post (about DH) was in answer to WhoKnows.

Evening! Scraping in with seconds to spare, yet again.

Mixed day today. Nice morning, afternoon was a pain, did manage to clean up the kitchen a bit. Saturday is my day off cooking though, so more chance to catch up tomorrow. Yay!