Combining April showers with Fledgling powers (2016)

[SpareCrust]

Humungous thanks to Greymalkin for leading us so professionally and capably through March!

And thank you in advance to Einstein for covering the first four days of this thread (while I sidle off)!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Flylady link here.

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
  
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
  
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
  
  ** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.
  
  There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:
  
  
• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
  
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
  
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.
  
  If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.
  
  If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!
  
  Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings
  
  Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

[SpareCrust]

Cotswold Ach no it was totally my mistake for stupidly (and for no sensible reason) typing Grey's name instead of yours yesterday, having imbibed a glass of or three - but if you need any help during May don't hesitate to shout! Happy to help!

Good luck with the month ahead!

We are now here everyone!

[CotswoldStrife]

If Grey wants to do it she certainly can! I am happy to share the duster for May otherwise it will get lonely from disuse

[SpareCrust]

[Hastily takes away official golden feather duster from Grey and hands it to Cotswold ]

[SpareCrust]

Cotswold forgive me! Ignore my ramblings. Of course it was you who volunteered, I'm losing my marbles or had too much vino this afternoon!! Really good of you!

Big waves to Whoknows!

[CotswoldStrife]

I said I'd do the May thread, so I'll start that one now - will link to it in a minute. Thanks for taking us through April SpareCrust.

Good luck with the exam whoknows, I definitely get more done when I limit my laptop time

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

Just popping by to apologise for lack of posting this month. I'm going to try and do better in May. I keep getting sidetracked by troll threads and other such leeches of time, so I am banning myself from MN until the evening and going to try and restrict myself to my three regular threads. This is necessary in particular because I have my Open Uni exam in the first week of June and I have a LOT of revision to do.

So with that, a big thanks to you SC for this month and see you all in May.

ps, my mum is a big fan of complementary therapies and she recommends Bowen technique too.

[SpareCrust]

Was just about to post links and then realised that there aren't any more for this month!

So handing the "official golden feather duster" over to Grey now!

[SpareCrust]

Salut! [I'm an hour ahead here so I think I can permit myself a quick swig from the communal hip flask ] [Glugs and hands it around]]. Think Toffee might be in more need than me though by the sound of things!

Had a lovely day today despite crumped back. Cleared up a bit at school (from last night's wonderfully named "fancy fair"), had a hair cut, then watched 2000 Guineas (go Frankie!) from Newmarket, then went to a wine tasting at dh's favourite wine shop [hic] and because we are entertaining tomorrow, I have bought pizzas for this evening. Only downside is that we are having friends over tomorrow and I am hugely behind with housework but might do a bit of tidying up this eve, and then panic tomorrow morning.

Hope you are all enjoying your weekends - I believe it is a long one in UK - profitez everyone!

Toffee that work situation sounds simply awful. Poor you. Can you go above the immediate management? Something needs to be done!! No one can work effectively with that constant level of stress. Thank heavens you have a few day's away from it anyway, and hope your ds1 feels better soon.

Midlife definitely allowed and sounds like a really sensible move to me! Hope it will help you feel more on top of things!

Agree with Knitting that having an outside cleaner can help that "being overwhelmed" feeling and anything that makes one feel a bit more in control of things is good!

Also agree with Knitting that having a cleaner is a bitter sweet experience - I am embarrassed mostly when she is here - but do a little twirl when she has left!

Waves to Honu always great to 'see' you!

Goodness Einstein I hadn't realised the weather was quite that bad where you are! at -2°c! It's getting warmer here atm but still chilly. Glad you made it over them there hills ok.

Big waves to all fledglings! Enjoy the weekend!

[Toffeewhirl]

midlife - help is definitely allowed! What a sensible idea. I did the same several years ago when I was too busy with young children to cope with the build-up of housework. It really helped and I often wish I could do it again.

SC - I'm so sorry Plan A hasn't worked out. I hope you can find a good Plan B soon.

Am having a break from work for a few days: much needed. I started crying at work yesterday and had to hide in the loo to pull myself together. I was so overwhelmed by the build up of work and had also just heard that our weekend away had been cancelled (DS1 has had a virus all week and isn't well enough). Am trying to cover for all the staff who have left (three within six weeks) and train a new member of staff and it is just impossible to keep up. I talked to a senior manager about it and he seemed very understanding, but then piled on more work .

Managed to get out for a pub lunch with DH today and am trying to put work stuff out of my mind. Have the joys of a messy house to distrct me over the next few days .

[midlifehope]

yes it was great.... of course dp messed up the kitchen within about a nanosecond of coming home ;) Bacon in a pan, spillages on the floor lol. Broke one of my nice Moroccan dishes grrrr

[YesEinsteinsMumDid]

Snow gone SC? ha ha ha ha. We have road closures due to snow, ice and flooding. Apparently down to -2C overnight tonight. Tbh I can believe it as it wasn't much warmer last night.

[Honu]

Midlife of course it's allowed! Very sensible idea - and I hope it helps. Am rather .

[knittingwithnettles]

And quite frankly -sips from hip flask-- anything's allowed on this thread.

[knittingwithnettles]

definitely midlife sometimes it is just feeling so defeated by the enormity of the task that puts one off any decluttering, you feel there are all the basics to be done before you can attempt any of the life laundry stuff. I know it is not a very flylady way round, but just feeling that you are in a tidyish house can cheer you up enough to start making small inroads. - I have a cleaning lady. It actually makes me feel worse most of the time as it frustrates me that I never move forward, but at least once a week the kitchen looks beautiful.. I can see what the house SHOULD look like. The City of Gold-

[midlifehope]

I have a confession to make! Today I had a company over to clean my house, oven, carpets etc. It was more money than I can afford. But I felt terribly overwhelmed with having very young kids. They've broken the back of it, so now I can start all the decluttering and detail cleaning Flylady talks about...... is this allowed, do you think?

[SpareCrust]

[Lays out hip flask, comfy blankies, squishy quilts, fluffy pillows, flask of hot toddy, and hot water bottle in not-naughty corner for Einstein's return]

[SpareCrust]

Well done fledglings - you have completed another full month of Flying - hands around celebratory !

**

The last baby-step of the month, no 30, for tomorrow Sat 30th April is: here. Check the calendar for the month ahead and look out and plan for important dates.

Tomorrow will be our last day in Zone 5 : The Living Room (April 24-30).

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 5 (if you do zone work at weekends that is).

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 5 is here.

No mission because it is the weekend.

The daily focus for Saturday is: family fun.

The monthly habit for April is //www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/april/ making your bed!

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : //www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

[SpareCrust]

You've more than done your bit with thread-leading Einstein. Safe driving, and hope snow has disappeared! [Notes requirements for return! ]

Welcome back to virtual-ality Cag! That's great news about your dd and friend! Hope she has a great time at camp!

Dh, despite having a pig of a day, is v kindly doing ballet run tonight while I pack up more (bought) cakes for school open day fair tonight. Am meeting them there and then we are going out to eat afterwards so posting links for tomorrow now! Last of the month - it certainly went quickly didn't it?

Have a great weekend fledglings!!

[YesEinsteinsMumDid]

The amount of fuss ds making about getting ready to go out you would think he doesn't want to go! would someone have hot water bottles and blankies ready for me for about 9pm when I get back pretty please?

I can't volunteer to help out with thread leading for a bit. Going to be a bit insane around here for at least a month so no idea how much I will be able to post.

Wishing you all good weekends.

[Cagliostro]

Ooh, knapsnacks. That sounds like it has two of my favourite things... sleep and food

I'm back after a couple of days WITHOUT THE INTERNET. [hyperventilates]

Somehow I survived! :o

Will catch up properly later. DD's off to Brownie camp this afternoon! She's so excited. Nervous too (she always is before going anywhere out of the ordinary) but it's a sign of how much she's grown in confidence, as she is quite matter of fact about it - "I'm nervous about getting on the coach, but I'm still going no matter what because it was so much fun last time!" :) So, I need to get my butt in gear and make sure everything's ready. She packed most of her stuff herself but I need to check through it all and hurriedly write her name on everything with a Sharpie . Got a load of laundry going on too, and the DCs have had a bath, and did some learning stuff this morning.

She's not mentioned her friend again - she's had a fabulous rest-of-the-week and hasn't had the opportunity to play out anyway. And she's in a room with some of her best friends at camp too (neither of whom she knew from school). I'll just need to make sure that when she does play out, I'm prepared for any issues. Thank you all so much for your kind words - it's been quite a new thing, she's never had this sort of issue with anyone before (she was bullied at school, but it was outright bullying and not a frenemy thing, and the friends she's had at school have always been good friends IYSWIM).

Back later to catch up! Really need to get everything ready now.

[SpareCrust]

Arf at "knapsnack"

Just finished editing work thank heavens on the not so scintillating subject of transfer price adjustments .

Cotswold that is so kind of you to offer to run the thread in May! Thank you so much I will try and do June if no-one else is bursting to do it!

Thanks for kind words! We can do "the project" in our own time but the house is falling down at an alarming rate and certain things need immediate attention. Problem is, because of the nature of it, we were hoping to do it all in one fell swoop. Plus we have waited long enough. DD needs a place where she feels comfortable entertaining friends etc and life here is unnecessarily stressful as we are in effect "camping" atm. Hwr, we have obligations to extended family that we cannot ignore either. And tax issues are complex.

You are right Knitting that all these preparatory activities are not wasted, despite it feeling like it, and despite this being our third thwarted attempt. And , there is a certain relief in knowing that Plan A is definitely no longer an option and we have to start again but in a different direction. Uncertainty is the worst thing.

Well done re: book club hosting! V. kind of you to say that I am better at it but I'm really not. I find I am increasingly stressed by hosting nowadays too (except with v close friends). I faff dreadfully. It's a double whammy because once I am aware that I am faffing, I am conscious that guests will find this terribly unsettling, and that makes me faff even more . It is dh who is the relaxed one!

Will look up the Bowen method - thank you for the tip! There is not much hope for my posture now but need to start a campaign here to encourage the building and use of school lockers to encourage good posture in the young. The weight that the dc carry on their backs on a daily basis is appalling. DD's bag is often 7 or 8 kg in weight. She is getting rounded shoulders despite all the ballet classes. Ipod and laptop use not helpful when it comes to slouching either.

Arf at rediscovering your welcoming inner self I think there is definitely something in S.T.U.F.F. acting as a barrier to the outside world. I'm no expert but when you watch those hoarding progs on the telly - in certain cases - the person concerned has actually built walls around themselves albeit of magazines, toys, or pots and pans. There must be a message in that!

[Rushes to grab back 10 recycling bags of papers recently decluttered from office]

[knittingwithnettles]

talking about Freudian typos, I typed "knapsnack" instead of knapsack

[knittingwithnettles]

Last night I had Book Club dinner here. Always stressful, although surprisingly the cobwebs seem less noticeable by candlelight What was worse, was that my clever clever prepare brown rice in advice method resulted in what I can only describe as chewy hard rice. Or was it? I just find myself worrying so much all the time about these little things..however much I simplify the menu or the arrangements.

Nice to see everyone though, I just wish I could see them for coffee not dinner. I was discussing this with dh, and I came to conclusion that I just cannot cope with being a hostess - I cannot relax, I feel on edge, the food seems tasteless, I am alert all the time for the next thing I need to do (ie: serve next course, put out coffee, pass crisps) I can see this has happened already to my mother who is barely able to sit down before she starts clearing away the plates and fussing, how do I prevent this happening to me too I need to go to some sort of pyschotherapy and rediscover my inner "welcoming" self. I suspect the CHAOS (can't have anyone over due to Stuff) has more to it than just the stuff. Maybe I don't want to have anyone over in the first place and the stuff is my defence

SC anyway you are much better at this than me. I know once your guests come round you are very good at just enjoying them.

I think all these big discussions can seem time wasted, but in the end, one ramps up to the next stage better prepared and with more insight. So when you get to Plan B it will better thought out.

We were talking about backs last night. There is something called the Bowen method which had changed someone's life. We also discussed the fact that wrongly positioned knapsacks can be very damaging, as can unhealed minor stress fractures (from for example somersaults wrongly executed) Cotswold is meant to be very good at checking position of a knapsack in relation to your hips, length of back, spine. For example if you have a long back, but are short, you need a long knapsack, however slight you are.

ds2 has gone to football. Dh has gone off into town. He [dh] is being v annoying this morning re: Panini stickers Gosh our lives have shrunk

sympathy over volunteering, but just keep remembering YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER. and if you were being paid, you could take sick leave.

[CotswoldStrife]

I can do May if you like ducks and weaves to dodge punches

Sorry to hear about the demise of Plan A. Must be so frustrating for you all. Is it something you are legally committed to doing (the renovation) or is it OK to do it at your own pace rather than a predetermined schedule?

Couple of loads of laundry done today, need to crack on with the tidying though. Back later - have a good morning everyone!

[SpareCrust]

Sorry

That really was meant to be "a pinch" not "a punch" !

Just a typo and not a passive agressive Freudian slip, honest