The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Two...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Sorting out the home when you're a hoarder (big or small) is never going to be easy and we should know! but having someone else to support you, talk about it with you and make you feel much less of a freak of mother nature makes a huge difference!

If you are any of the following:
A hoarder. In a mess. Untidy. Disorganised. Lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small.

Welcome to thread number 2! :)

I've been sent here by solo . Will have a read.

at meglet. Glad to see you :) Welcome!

It's been an eye opening week. I've tackled some of my hoarding instincts and tried not to just organise stuff and move it around the house (which is what usually happens - this is apparently called "churning" )

I hired a professional declutterer, who was actually a friend to help me for a few hours, a real revelation. I felt able to tackle things properly and stopped blaming it all on dh - he is a hoarder definitely, but I have stuff which filling an emotional gap, and seeing that has enabled me to throw it out.

So three big runs of stuff to the tip. My biggest obstacle has been finding the right person to give stuff to, now I realise I just have to jettison it or it never leaves the house, or it takes so long that I don't have the energy to do the next batch of decluttering or worse still, I KEEP IT, or find a new place for it.

I've got rid of a lot of craft stuff which for the last ten years I've been convincing myself I was going to do, ditto stuff that needed to be mended like lamps, but never mended etc, ditto clothes that I will never fit into again but have memories.

I've allowed myself to keep a few small items, one dress here, one baby cardigan there.

Next step is tackling the books. It is actually impossible to choose which ones should go, so I end up keeping all of them. Luckly so far there are bookcases for all of them, so they look relatively tidy but I know I should face up to the fact that there are really too many and some of them are beginning to be "collections" or status symbols rather than stuff I ever will read again. Dh

Rubbish has actually been relatively easy as have clothes with moth in them, or manky baby clothes (I decluttered all the nice ones ages ago, for some reason there was a bag of dud ones at the back of the loft)

I want to get rid of the pram now, and various bits of wood that have no function, all in the loft for a rainy day. Will try to do the last of the rubbish in the garden from emptying the loft tomorrow; it helps to think the pram is next in Jan. Preparing to throw things can be quite a good way of dealing with the stress of letting go.

It has really helped having a companion whilst decluttering,a very non-judgemental one to encourage you, and listen to wacky memories about stuff.

Hi everyone! I've not caught up properly yet but wanted to update as we did make a bit of progress. Landlords come tomorrow so when we get home from mum's we will do a last bit of cleaning and hopefully that will be good enough. Still a lot of clutter in the house but it's condensed a lot and we have got rid of a fair bit. Still got stuff to sell as well.

Wow! knitting just wow! So brilliant to read your posts :) "Well done" is just not good enough really! . I wish I was brave enough to allow someone to help me but I really won't ever consider it. I must say though that your emotional tie and the way you deal with things (keep stuff) sounds so like me... And I'm coming to the end of a fortnight off work after Dd's surgery and I promised myself that I'd make a big dent in my house and I haven't and I'm angry at myself for wasting the time I've had off...

Cag good luck with the LL

And welcome to the thread knitting :)

I popped into the big out of town charity shop earlier and came out with the Lord of the rings dvd's . DS wants to watch them and I never remember to tape them from the telly.

To balance it out I'm going to take a few bits to the local charity shop later and start working my way through my paperwork that's been dumped in a basket for months.

How is your DD solo? Is she able to eat ok and going back to school for the end of term?

Hi meglet :) Yes thank you, Dd is very well now and will return to school on Monday!
Great find at the charity shop and one that is useful. The sorting of paperwork and things for the charity shop (to go) is a great first move and more than I've done in my 2 wasted weeks off ( with myself!).
Let us know how you go :)

Landlords been and gone. All good!

Now to deal with all the clutter we stashed...

Oh Solo it's always the way though isn't it, big pressure on ourselves to make the most of the time off and it doesn't happen! Don't beat yourself up over it. Slow and steady wins the race and all that. :)

Welcome to Meglet and Knitting :)

Totally get the thing about craft stuff never being used, books not read etc. I remember realising that stuff like that is like a constant reminder of my failings, the thing I haven't got round to doing. Getting rid is finally accepting it won't happen and that's so hard.

Also agree about 'preparing to declutter' being a good step. I find this necessary due to my health issues - I am often not well enough to do regular housework let alone proper decluttering, so sometimes I do what I call 'decluttering in my head' where I choose things that I can then make a beeline for when I am well enough.

Caliogostro It is much more difficult to get rid of craft stuff when you have small/young children, it feels like a really important part of being a "good" "creative" mum. What worries me is that I never did do any craft with them!!! The craft items were like a pretend version of me being a good mum! I was so busy tidying up around too much mess and keeping on top of the piles that I feel I wasted a lot of time when I could have been enjoying doing stuff with them. Children were more important than the "stuff" but I didn't realise that at the time; how easy it would be to manage if I hadn't felt so overwhelmed by the clutter [self inflicted creative clutter]

Solo today I had a really bad bottleneck, not with decluttering as such but just it felt impossible to get the rubbish I had piled up outside, to the tip as well as do other stuff I was trying to finish (also organisational, cleaning sort of stuff, dw loading etc) Felt very guilty at not finishing what i had started. However, there is time. Tomorrow I will try again, to put rubbish bags in car and just GO. Also kept being distracted by messiness of front garden and thinking I don't have time to declutter when there are so many other things to do.

Conversely on the landing, where I really had made a serious attempt to sort thing through, it looked better than it has done in years. I can see this is going to make much less work for me over next few months, tidying and cleaning wise, so it will be worth the hideous kerfuffle over last week...dust boxes and rubbish everywhere from the loft, and nothing normal getting done (I'm talking meals, and paperwork and putting clean clothes away)

I totally understand knitting - it's STUFF - Something That Undermines Family Fun. I always seem to be saying NO to my kids, because there isn't the room to get this out or do that painting. Same with board games, big playsets etc. It becomes pointless having them. :(

ds2 does love his board games though

still, I think he would be happy with just a few top favourites. I can remember we played endless endless Monopoly as a child, and endless card games. Surely that didn't take up as much space as my present stash, and no-one really plays much at all..in fact they have all retreated to their bedrooms and mobile phones. Think it is a question of balance, playsets and boardgames are essential and lovely but too many and no-one can h

find them or relax sufficiently to play them (well I cannot relax sufficiently)

I actually really love games. Like to the point of obsession, I am even writing about them on my blog :o but when there is no space at the table etc we don't play nearly as much as we want to. It's one of the main reasons I am inspired to get the house sorted. I want to be able to get the big board games or the paints or the sewing stuff out on a whim, you know?

I actually counted my collection recently and had over 170 board/card type games. I suddenly had an epiphany though and managed to get rid of around 30 - life is too short for crap games and I'd rather have the space for the better ones :o

It doesn't matter if you don't still have them physically, they still live on in your experience I love making collections of things, sometimes the pleasure is in the collecting and that point I feel maybe I can let go (five or ten years later ) I'm still trying to work out how to play Carcassone and Risk sadly..one day we will spend an entire day as a family engrossed in a long long board game, when the parents explain the rules

OH Carcassonne is worth the effort but Risk, meh I'm crap at it :o

You all sound so positive :) but I feel so negative! I feel I've let myself down again. I completely get what you are saying about having stuff to have fun with the Dc's, but not having the room to actually use anything. I am feeling like a failure right now and I really am a failure.

Sometimes you have to stop thinking about all the things you haven't done, but just do what is necessary right now to get through the day, whether it is clearing the table completely, or piling clothes into a bin bag if you cannot put them away or even making the piles a bit neater to cheer you up in the short term.

I'm a very gloomy inactive person, truth to tell. It takes a lot out of me to do the minimum if that..I often find myself staring at empty loo rolls and cannot even be bothered to take them down to the recycling.

Anyway today, has been a bit mixed as I had to buy some Christmas presents for relatives and children and that is always a bit of a mixed feeling, like why oh why should I have to buy MORE STUFF, when I'm working so hard to get rid of my hoarding shopping instincts. However, I am just accepting that at least it is being given away, even if it is sitting on the floor now, and at least some of my stash of wrapping paper and christmas cards (several years hoard) will be used up. [after that I'm binning it]

managed to sort a bag of paperwork and throw small amount of paper away, also collected some more items from my bedroom and put them in a charity shop pile - horrid picture x 2, which had sentimental feeling I must keep as not bad enough to chuck, (but can go to charity shop) 2 tops.

Went backwards went took a dress out of recycling and put it on. Luckily it looked horrid in all the shop mirrors, so maybe I can now bring myself to throw it out, although was very fond of it once.

I've had years and years to sort the house out and haven't. It has taken me 16 years to get to point of acknowledging I'm actually a hoarder, I got so bogged down in thinking it was a question of organisation and willpower and getting things clean and tidy. It wasn't those things at all, it was the HOARDING, and letting go of stuff once I had become invested, and getting extraordinary satisfaction out of shopping, and purchasing random items, to the extent that I now see it was a form of satisfaction I was denying myself in any other creative pursuit and in fact was substitute for creative pursuits.

So I'm off to buy the ingredients for supper now, better press on with RL>

Also confusing hoarding with thrift, because to meet me you wouldn't think I was a person who shopped at all, and dh says the fridge is always empty

I am having a lazy day. But yesterday I spent three hours tackling my bedroom pile. I threw 5 bin bags of rubbish and have 5 more for charity.

Today my back hurts from shifting all the bags but the floor is clean underneath the pile and the pile reduced slightly.

Tomorrow I will have another go. This is the worse bit in our house, at least it is upstairs out of sight but I know it is there !