Fledglings chatter and try to FLY through July

[BlueEyeshadow]

Following June's chatty thread, welcome aboard another month of vaguely trying to follow FLY Lady's housekeeping system. There are still babysteps and missions for each day and the little and often system for decluttering and keeping chaos at bay.

It is still a long running thread and newbies will always be welcome. Usual disclaimer still applies "Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome"

But for another month we'll try to fly without daily links. The Big link you will need is the launch pad which will take you to all the daily reminders/missions/zones etc...

The first link for the babysteps is the particularly waffly introduction to the system, and through it you can get to all of the other links.

So it only remains for me to thank DEM for setting up the last thread , and stock up the naughty corner bar for when it all gets a bit much. Plenty of and to see us through.

No storm here, not a drop of rain, still very humid but a bit cooler today. It was DD's dance show, it was just brilliant, very proud of her.

Been out for dinner with friends, came home and was horribly sick . Not sure why, but I feel really rough now. Am only sick about once every 10 years. Just waiting for DS1 to come to bed, then am going to crawl into bed myself.

That is a shame toffee hope you feel better soon.

Fab about the dance show WhoKnows

Sounds like a lovely day blue

Looks like you have a productive day mercury

Was off out tonight for an event but left earlier than intended as was knackered. ds has just tucked me into bed (literally) and I am half wondering if he has retrieved his tablet but too comfy to check.

Feeling decidedly fragile this morning. DS1 has just brought me a cup of tea, lovely boy.

How sweet that your DS tucked you up last night, DEM - it's touching when our DC look after us for a change.

Hahaha sweet it was not. he had definitely retrieved his tablet which had been confiscated and he didn't want me to tuck him in so he could stay up playing it. What he is about to learn that when you have been given a ban, sneaking it back will get you a longer ban, and you will have no idea where it has gone.

Sorry you are still feeling ill.

Oooh, sneaky boy, DEM.

Still feeling horrible. DS1 has been to the corner shop to buy me a Coke. Always good for sickness. DH is on duty with DS2 downstairs, so I can rest.

Hi all

Sweltering, heavy weather here too - I think a storm is coming (hopefully) Fighting (fatigue) to keep getting things done here and not just flop.

So sorry you were ill last night Toffee that's a horrible feeling, hope you feel better soon and take it steady xxx

(Fantastic that your ds1 can go out and buy you a Coke though - shows how brilliantly he has progressed !!!) xxx

DEM sympathies, I have re-started the CSI technology 'sweeps' of dd's room before bed now Star Stable ban has been reluctantly lifted during hols. Sorry you are feeling so exhausted. xxx

Well done to your dd for her dance show Whoknows!!

And well done re: your list Mercury don't know how you do it!!

Hope the noise abated last night Blue in time for you to get a decent night's kip

Big wing flaps to everyone else!

Got caught up with things in church this morning (involving elderly confused parishioner, her daughter, an urgent prescription and an unscheduled hospital visit but thankfully everything ok and sorted very easily but lengthy process)

Then met up for v quick (because we were late) snack lunch and beer with dd's godfather who is buying a flat so dh could explain ins and outs of notaire system here.

Then back home to prepare plates of cheese and salami and bread sticks and ice cold beer etc (in a 1950s wifelet sort of way - only happens once a year ) for dh and his Italian colleagues who are watching the Grand Prix.

Dog is fully recovered and raring to go so going to take him out for a long walk in the country now. Don't care if we get caught in rain; it will be a pleasant change!

And it will be so nice to get away from the sounds of the city: makes you realise how much noise the double-glazing masks in winter! Loud music, building works, idling vehicles, barking dogs, loud conversation ... and I swear if I hear another car alarm ... Soon I'm going to morph in to one of those middle-aged crumpled women who stand on their doorsteps in slippers and shake their fists at passing cars ...

Afternoon all.

Sorry you are feeling rough toffee but how lovely that dc's are looking after you. And dem's last night.

I am back from a whirlwind weekend away with DP (think I can probably call him that now) but he has gone again now which makes me a bit sad. (For context, he is a major in the army, currently posted in Germany but in the process of moving back here and will posted very near to me in 6 weeks time). We went to the Proms at Burghley House which was super amazing so have had an awesome weekend.

But back to reality and a car that blew up on my way to pick him up on Friday (new car needed i think) and a house that is a tip. So I think I might actually be about to do some flying....watch this space.

Steady now Ellie

sc. 30 mins since i posted that and still haven't moved from sofa!

And I haven't moved from the screen

Must go as dog crossing his paws

another busy day here but only slightly slower paced as there was a lie in.

Forgive quick hi-jack but we've had a bit of an incident here with dd chatting to a stranger on-line (fortunately turned out to be ok) but now looking for further resources about Internet safety and how to explain about other serious issues such as pornography/sexual abuse without scaring her to death.

If anyone has any advice/ideas I'd be really grateful for them as I'm a bit anxious about this/floundering atm

here

Ta very much x

Oh SC :( yes there is one here that they recommend for kids to use. it is in english though but they have 2 sites one for parents and on for the kids. will see if i can find the paperwork for it asap!

sc there is an organisation called CEOP whose resources we use at school. Might be worth a google.

I have done a little flying...wooohooo. Not enough for a list really but you have to start somewhere don't you?

Oh what a worry, SC. Sorry not to be able to help.

Hope you're feeling better now, Toffee.

Today we've got some stuff out of the loft, which makes the place messy again, but have palmed off passed some things on to a friend and put more stuff on freegle. Also 2 big bags of outgrown clothes ready to go to school for the clothes stall at the fete.

SC the one that Ellie suggested is the one that I was thinking of. We have had our own issue with internet safety wrt strangers tonight. I am waiting til ds is awake enough to be asked for explainations tomo shit and fan springs to mind. Now all the late night sneaking about makes sense.

Yes CEOP, also www.thinkuknow.co.uk has been recommended to me but I haven't looked at it myself.

Hi everyone, sorry to only get back on here now, we had unexpected visitors this evening.

Really, really touched by all your very kind and helpful responses - thank you so much.

I will definitely have a look at CEOP (thanks Ellie)
and 'think you know' (thanks Whoknows)

Sorry to hear that you are having your own issues with this DEM too - this technology stuff is such a nightmare!

I am kicking myself because after all exams/studying etc I had given dd more slack than usual wrt computer use (in terms of length of time she could go on line for). Was aware she was skyping someone whilst playing Star Stable (I was in room alongside fhs!) but she told me it was a school friend we both know (and I actually went in and out of room several times to put clothes away whole she was deep in conversation and laughing and chatting etc!!). Luckily I mentioned I was e-mailing said friend's mother about a play date later in the week and said I might say something about length of time both of our dd's were on-line together (hope my dd is not leading your dd astray by spending so much time on SS type of thing) and the expression on dd's face told me something was wrong.

Trouble is, I didn't say that as some sort of test; I wasn't remotely suspicious!

I really can't believe it because dd understood the rule we have about only chatting to people who she (and we) know in rl. Really disappointed that she lied. She said she did so because "she was having so much fun"

She knew she had done something wrong but of course doesn't really understand wider implications. Then when I called dh in and we started to explain I think the realisation dawned and she started to cry and get quite upset.

Dh then called Skype number and dd got the child and the child's mother on the line and dh spoke to them and they seem genuine enough thankfully but it is all a bit scary.

I was bloomin furious when I found out but tried to keep a lid on it because important to keep lines of communication open I think and then issue odious punishment later like picking up dog poo for a month

DD and I have since gone through some NSPCC materials together but now she's older, it's difficult to explain why any child is in danger when chatting to strangers on-line, or browsing on-line, without actually explaining the context (ie grooming, other things you might see on Internet that are not appropriate etc). Not really sure how to go in to this without scaring her, hence posting tonight! So thank you again everyone!

Heigh ho, one lives and learns. Will certainly be taking the subject of Internet safety a lot more seriously from now on. We have parental controls, we had rules, but tbh they hadn't been updated since dd was about 8yrs old, so high time we focused on this a bit more.

Apologies again for hi-jack!

Blue and Ellie well done on the decluttering and the Flying front!

Hope you are feeling better Toffee

G'night all!!

Sorry, what a scare for you, SC. This is the page on CEOP for parents and children. I tried to find the CEOP info sheet I was given recently at a workshop on online safety at DS1's new school, but can't find the link. It's called 'Keeping your child safe online - a checklist for parents and carers'. It suggests you follow these guidelines: ask your child to show you the sites they use; ask them to set their profile settings to private; ask them about their online friends; set appropriate parental controls; get your child to agree to tell you if they are worried about something online; know where to get help if you are concerned about your child (see the CEOP Safety Centre).

Sorry to hear you are having similar issues, DEM. I wish I could say I have never had these problems, but DS1 chats to strangers on online games. I deal with it by keeping in touch with what he's doing and who he's talking to. He knows the rules about not saying his real name or where he lives. If ever I express any concerns about it, he points out that I chat regularly to a bunch of 'strangers' on MN! (Not that you feel like strangers ).

Still feeling fairly fragile, but am hoping I'll be ok tomorrow as we have a friend and my DM arriving for lunch. Will have to do a crisis clean and shopping first thing.

Not a high-jack SC it is important. And at least yours has turn out ok. Ds is not going to be so lucky. I have his father involved and he is furious. Ds has totally taken the piss this time. And whilst I have found out about this not ideal technology stuff I have also got to the bottom of why ds has been so ill. He has been online playing game 90% of the night. I will probably be blunter than you and give ds the full facts about grooming, but ds is less of a worrier and more of a risk taker than your dd. But it will be most age appropriate.

x-post toffee

This is the thing isn't, we are never going to be able to protect them completely and tbh it is not so much the chatting to strangers that has pissed me off, it is the damage he has done to his health, the lying to me, the sneaking about, the going against things that have be clearly stated as boundaries, and the fucking attitude.
The talking to strangers is an innocence thing here, he has never been in a position where he has needed to know the dangers so has never been taught about all the dangers. So that is my fault not his.
Am seriously piss in his totally entitled attitude today though. not that you could tell

Thanks for that Toffee much appreciated. That check-list is really helpful. Your ds1 definitely has a point about Mumsnet!!

I've just read on CEOPs website that quite a significant percentage of children play games with other children (but strangers in rl) on line. Perhaps I am making too much of this then [genuine question] Sorry if so, it's a bit of a new situation for us.

Urgh! I am too tired to think about it anymore tonight! Going to sleep on it!

Sorry to hear you are still feeling under the weather Toffee. Perhaps you have a bug rather than food poisoning? Take it steady in the morning x

Thanks DEM I totally 'get' why you are so furious - it's disappointing to be lied to, and that, compounded with parental anxiety over self-inflicted sleep deprivation (which we've had problems with here too) which has knock-on effects wrt school/health/behaviour is not a happy combination! Been there - and it is horribly stressful and worrying! So totally understand where you are coming from.

At least our dc told us the truth in the end though bless 'em! (Which is a good thing!) I reckon we don't want to be so angry that we discourage them from doing that (extremely difficult thought that is!!!)

And I think [sadly] I am going to have to be a bit blunter about the grooming thing and explain the dangers a bit more explicitly, else she won't understand context. Not sure yet what level of detail is appropriate though. Going to browse all the helpful links here - thanks again.

What a world eh? Having to explain to an 11 yr old about grooming and porn

God, how depressing

Don't think I heard the expression 'grooming' until I was in my early twenties fhs

G'night all