Fledglings flutter round the May Pole – FlyLady May 2015

[Greymalkin]

First of all, a big thank you to Dogsbum for leading us (for the very first time) through the April thread; fantastic job!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and chat along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one!
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome

Oooo I forgot the alphabet game take the alphabet and try to find a word and some explanation for each letter

So pleased that the learning styles quiz helped, SC . I am such a visual learner that I can't remember people's names if they tell me, but can remember if they wear a label on their chests so that I can see the name . It helps now that I know I'm like that and can work with it. Great that your DD knows what kind of learner she is already.

DEM - those templates are great!

mad - oh, poor DS1. I am all for meds now that I've seen the difference they make for DS1 (essentially, unable to lead any kind of decent life without them because paralysed by anxiety).

Have sorted home-ed stuff and warned DS2 that he will be doing some Maths assessments next week.

Cooked dinner.

Drank wine.

Another intermittent banshee here . Had a lot of screaming frustration today.

Tidying up has happened, but you wouldn't know it now. [sigh] Also hoovering. Cooked roast/pulled pork, which was fab, and rescued the kitchen. Work-wrangling also continues, but the client is driving me potty...

SC don't beat yourself up and don't apologise. Perfectly reasonable to need venting space in the circs.

Good evening Fledglings - I haven't caught up on the thread yet, but here are the links for next week and tomorrow, Monday 4th May:

Here is the Launch Pad which is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Tomorrow’s baby step is put up post-it notes to remind you to do stuff Not a popular one on this thread, seems a bit daft to put messy bits of paper all round the house

The Daily focus for Monday is Weekly Home Bleugh

Here is the sneak peak for the week which outlines all our up-coming missions.

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we have moved into zone two:Zone 2: The Kitchen. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is a thorough scrub down of all your worktops

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Thanks for links Greymalkin! (Glad we can ignore tomorrow's baby-step then )

Thank you Blue ! The pulled pork sounds fab ! Oh lawd, I remember "those" clients!

Toffee! Yes, I'm visual too! Which is why I guess it is so important for me to tap in to dd's (v different) style of working . Thanks for your help with this. Well done re: home ed organisation.

Another fab idea, thanks DEM!

Going to bed now. Totally exhausted. And not in the least bit put out by the fact that dd confessed 5 mins before bedtime to having three times as much hwk than she had admitted to at the beginning of the long weekend oh no [gnashes teeth/swigs gin].

For everyone in the UK, hope you have a lovely Bank Holiday tomorrow!

Waves to everyone else!

No flying today apart from washing up but I have finally finished a coat hook rack that I've been making. I've had to take the hooks back off to wall mount it but it is now on the wall, first lot of filler in the holes. Will need to sand and re-fill and then probably 3 layers of varnish but at least it should be sorted for when DP gets home.

Kitchen/dining area still looking like an extension to my cellar workshop with six mini alcove shelves spread out on newspaper as they’ve been getting each coat of primer and then emulsion, now thinking of finishing off with a bit of varnish before assembling and finally putting things on the shelves.

There’s also an upside down dining room chair with a broken base that I plan to finish repairing, but then I can restore the room to normality and DP wont ever even know the carnage that has been going on in the room

He does know that I’m doing jobs that it is normally hard to do when we generally eat our evening meals in the dining area. I’m making the most of not needing to restore the room each evening which means that I can get more done and also do it at my current old lady pace as I’m not under the usual time pressure to restore the room in the evening.

Sorry I haven't got anything to contribute to the revision efforts I'm afraid but I hope that everyone else's ideas help. I have to say that I had no idea that Percy Jackson was so educational!

Chilling out now with a bit of tv and possibly some snacks shortly

SC is there anyone you know whose child has actually failed the exams?
Could it be that they are not as difficult as you think and require much less work? She doesn't have to do brilliantly just pass presumably. I'm sure your dd is learning quite a lot in school even if she appears not to be doing much revision. Maybe the only solution is to get a young tutor to come in and make it feel fun to go over stuff? We are going through all of this with ds1 who is 15. In the end I truly feel that he has to find his level and if he is really not in the slightest bit interested in any of the work and just wants to scrape through it only goes to show that he is not cut out for academia. I felt much better recently reading Kirstie Alsopp's description of her schooldays. Not to speak of Jeremy Irons.

Toffee I love that Anne of Green Gables procrastination story (having read all of them myself - there were so many weren't there...I read the first again recently and was most impressed by the curriculum Anne was studying all those poems she learnt off by heart) My story is much worse. We were meant to be revising To The Lighthouse for A Level and I think I read Howard's End (procrastinating as it wasn't set text at all) determinedly - anything rather than TTL (I ended up with D so that wasn't a success tactic )

DEM strangely mine loved Percy but showed no interest in Greeks I took ds2 to Roman Baths today and he showed very little interest in the Romans either (or at least the visible parts of them) He was interested in the taste of the water though and the great Bath. Maybe most of what they are interested in or take in goes on subterraneanly and they don't "do" enthusiasm about academic subjects in the way that teachers would have us believe children are meant to.

What have I done today?

Took ds2 on train journey to Bath and back in one afternoon!
Had series of lovely chats with dd I think I drove her somewhere and she was grateful
bought ds2 a new Superdry Hoody [in Bath - convenient the shops there ] so he would finally accept that the old one was too small for him (it made him look like a particularily overgrown green gnome)
made ds1 and dd go to church

hung out some laundry
washed some laundry
made ds2 wash his sheets
remade his bed when they were dry
put out rubbish
put out recycling

otherwise Nothing..strange having done so much grocery shopping last week the usual wrangling over meals had been eliminated

Good morning!

Crikey Dogsbum you have been busy, as usual! Congrats on your long list! When does your dh get back?

[Another confessed obsessive Anne of GG reader here; read them continually 'on loop' as a teenager together with all the Heidi bks, Ingalls Wilder books, most of Jane Austen, all of Brontes, Little Women series, anything by Elizabeth Enright and Geoffrey Trease and Rumer Godden , Chalet School bks, any pony books by Monica Dickens, Christine Pullein-Thompson, all of Dick Frances and Ian Fleming and (rather shamefully) all of the 97 (I'm making that up but there were loads!!) of the Sissy Barton District Nurse series, when I should have been studying ]

Swan trips to Bath sounds excellent!!

Agree about dc not "doing" academic enthusiasm as understood from teacher's perspective, think that comes later doesn't it (if at all)? I remember being very dreamy/not really registering stuff/easily distracted (sound familiar??!!) up until about 13/14 yrs, then it all 'clicked' a bit and I got very studious for a bit and then it sort of waned again unfortunately. But I went to a dreadful school/dreadful academically; nothing like the demands on dc nowadays. They did teach me to sew and bake well though !!

And yes, you are right about the state obligatory exams not being that difficult. I do know some dc who have failed them (but that was years ago and they are still in "secondary" education at the age of 22 and 24 yrs respectively). Pass rate is 60% (in marks, not number of pupils getting through).

And you are right that dd's teacher (who is excellent) is doing a lot within school hrs and trying to keep it all calm and at a steady pace etc without stressing everyone out too much. And she gives them a fair amount but not too much hwk. When you speak to her, she doesn't seem too worried at all (not in a lackadaisical way but in a professional 'we have it all under control' sort of way).

The variables I am worried about though are (a) the standard of the test is going up this year in response to criticisms that it is too easy, to what degree is unknown to both candidates and teachers alike (b) dd has missed quite a lot of in-class school work owing to illness (c) dd is putting in only the minimum effort wrt to set hwk (she has a v. good memory and gets away with a lot!!) but that good memory disappears under exam conditions (d) she suffers horribly from exam anxiety and these exams will be taking place in unfamiliar surroundings etc etc (e) being expats, hwr much info we seek, we feel a bit 'out of the loop'/not sure if we are assessing things correctly (f) she has an entire week of exams in the 'other' lang (trying not to out myself here) the week before the exams which count, which will involve leaving at 6am and travelling by coach an hr away and sitting even more rigorous exams all day for four days in the week and I'm worried she will be rung out by the time it comes to take the ones that determine her secondary school place.

But obviously - I could be worrying about all the above far too much - I am prone to mahoosive anxiety/over thinking things (obviously trying not to convey that to dd).

Too late for a tutor (they are like hen's teeth at this time of year) but carrying on anyway... !!

And thank you everyone again enormously - all of your support really does help - going to get on with lesson planning now with some of DEMs templates!!

And promise to try not to fill up the thread with all this non-Flying talk over next month!!

Speaking of Flying, house is a complete and utter tip. Behind with everything. However, going to prioritise exam aids and then escape the house and go for long dog walk. It's lovely and sunny here! Desperate urge to escape domestic drudgery today!!

Have a good Bank Holiday everyone!

Oh sc if you need to fill up the thread with chatter do so, we will just start a new one. It has been a while since we had a double thread month.

DEM

[Don't worry Greymalkin promise not to chatter on too much!!]

Work here today, and last dance comp until Saturday, so not too much flying ahead. I will be finishing the ironing from yesterday though, and the girls' bedding didn't get done, so that can go through tonight. The good thing about tonight's dance comp is that it has meant I can't run my youth group tonight, so I've handed that r off to the other two leaders. So, for a Monday, I will be wrapped early! I don't usually get home until ten at the earliest, but it should be 7.30 tonight. Kinda feels like a bank holiday we have ours in two weeks.

I have a new role for post-its. I hate the fly lady stupid post it notes everywhere day, however, I use them when we are having a huge clear-up and I need to kids to step up to the plate. I write a post it for each task (take garbage to communal bin/ dust and polish sideboard/ clean toilet in red bathroom etc) and put them all on the bathroom door. The kids have to come and pick a post it, do the task, and then they then put the completed post-it on their bedroom door. It only works periodically - you can't do this very often as the enthusiasm for post it notes wanes fast lol. In theory, I then offer some sort of reward based on the number of post its completed...

It's not perfect, and I suspect will have a short shelf life. But it gets everyone involved

And aaaaaah! Charlotte Elizabeth Diana! Just flashed up on my screen!

Hello everyone, this thread is moving pretty fast

We've had a lovely bank holiday weekend, despite some patchy weather. Mostly it has been family fun, going out for a bit each day, and today my lovely FIL came over for lunch which we had in the garden.

We went to our local boot sale this morning and I picked up loads of bargains - an Austin Reed shirt, a TM Lewin Shirt and a Boden rugby type shirt for £5 total feeling chuffed to bits.

Not a huge amount of flying going on here, but I did thoroughly clean my kitchen windows and French doors, both inside and out and now they are sparkling clean! I feel strangely happy just standing and looking at them [weirdo]. Other than that, the usual stuff:

Dishwasher x2
Laundry in machine and hung up x2
Dry laundry away
Cat trays cleaned

Still need to do
Hoovering
Make beds
Post links for tomorrow
Call elderly relative
Wrap eBay parcels

No panic grey a double thread just means we fill on and thus need a need a 2nd one to keep chattering on. Not that 2 are going at the same time .

ta da
take apart kitchen
spring clean half of it - like literally washing and cleaning everything
laundry
training
make bread dough and leave for 2nd rising

I have a long list of other stuff but not got that far. 1st job now ds is in bed is to eat tea and to cook the bread. The more laundry and more stuff to do.

Links for Tuesday 5th May:

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Tackle the negative voices in your head

The Daily focus for Tuesday is Plan and Play Day

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 2: The Kitchen Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is sort through and chuck out old or mismatched plastic tubs and pots

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Tbh grey have also achieved most of wednesday's, thursday's and friday's missions.

dread to think what the deep cleaning list is like for this zone but as the cooker has been moved for the building work it was steamed inside and out including sides and underneath. As was the fan vent. It has been exhausting and i haven't even bothered to continue to finish the to do list. I have given up.

DS1 was up at 5am and already in his school uniform when I went up to see him at 7.30 this morning . He went off with his teacher at 8.45, very cheery. Astonishing.

ta da

Made coffee to wake DH and myself
Fed cats
Cleared litter tray
Dressed etc
Went to wake DS1
Breakfast for DS1
Dispatched cats to wake DS2
Spent some time with DS1 to help him stay calm
Waved DS1 off with his teacher
Waved DH off to work
Booked dr's appt for tomorrow for DS2
Made breakfast for DS2 and myself
Checked emails
Emailed DS1's school about meeting next week
Put rubbish out

to do

Maths assessment with DS2
Meeting with DS1's therapist
Order more Melatonin for DS1
Phone DM
Make some boring, but necessary, phone calls
Email SENDCO about statement

Hope everyone has a productive and happy day.

Wow that is fab Toffee! Hope your ds1 has a really good day!

Well done to you and DEM for all the industrious spring cleaning!

Thanks Grey although musn't chatter on too much; should be doing stuff [cackles hysterically]! Very v. impressed by your shopping bargains btw!

Like the idea of post-it-chore lucky dip Madwoman!

Pathetic though it sounds with very small pt job and only one child, I have descended in to stressed fug which is a bit paralysing. It would make me feel sick to write down what is happening between now and end June (including three lots of visitors) so I won't; but suffice to say I have not achieved even a 10th of the preparation I was supposed to by this point.

And instead of staying at home and tackling it, I have a desperate urge to be out of house all the time in wind and rain with dog.

Had to physically force myself to do boring routines (wm, dw, ironing) this morning because it just made me feel despairing in a rain drop in a pond sort of way although I'm sure Flylady would give me a proper talking to for thinking like that!

Furry one went a bit strange and barky and growly yesterday. Bit worried in case his (as yet unrevealed) "true" personality is coming out. (Although their story was plausible, and we found out as much info as poss, there has always been a question mark over why his previous owners gave away such a potentially lucrative dog for free.) On the other hand, he's definitely been a bit stressed/tired over the last few days but that is perhaps because we are bombarding him with too many new experiences all at once (used to spending all day in country garden without much stimulation and he is now in busy city); so going to slow things down a bit. Intermittent thunder and lightening not helping! Another vet check in order too I think.

Right, I had better get down to some chores escape!!

Hope everyone has a good day!

Have read thread but feeling a bit brain fogged to make comments, apart from that I really liked the post it note chore thing. Embarrassingly I think that might work with my DP. He is very willing to help in the kitchen if we are cooking but needs to be told every task, even if the recipe is there in front of him (or it is just glaringly obvious grrr! e.g. the table isn't laid, etc)

Steady DP is back Thursday am, I think he lands about 7.40am and the airport is about an hours drive away, so I guess some time from about 9am onwards, so I've only got today and tomorrow left on my own.

Felt a tiny bit guilty yesterday realising that I haven't missed him at all . To be fair I do think it's just because it has been so much more convenient being able to make a bit more mess and leave half done jobs out, not that I don't love him, honest!

I think I've also got the sense of this being my last bit of time that is purely about me without either DP or Meerkitten, so I'm just really trying to enjoy it.

Finally finished painting mini alcove shelves and have just assembled the shelving unit and filled a few of them with items that I use regularly, creams, make up, perfume, etc but that don't have a neat home and I'm loving the shelves already! Nice to have something that feels like a real benefit to me from the DIY that I've done while DP is away. Although they are in the room that will be Meerkitten's room so I guess I'll be shoved out soon! I need to enjoy it while it lasts!

Anyway, off to put second coat of varnish on coat hook rack and then pace myself with a hot choc. I might do all the Flylady kitchen jobs tomorrow when I restore the kitchen/dining area to normal. I've been meaning to de-clutter plastic pots for a while so I'm quite pleased that is on the list this week, should give me the incentive I need!

Hello fledglings

Toffee marvellous re your DS1, I really hope he has a good day and that you are doing ok as well

SC maybe a few quiet days at home are what your dog needs? and then you are at home too so you can get stuff done too!!!

Dogs it sounds like you have been so productive; I never fail to be amazed by your DIY skills, I'd love to be able to do the things you are talking about. Just remember to keep having regular rests.

I have had a seriously busy day so far:
Cats, me and DS fed
has been reprimanded for trashing the kitchen or was that DH?
Washload on and hung out on the line
Dishwasher emptied and reload started
Painting masterpieces with DS
Three beds made
Sheets changed on spare bed
Big declutter/27 fling boogie in the family bathroom - chucked out loads of old toiletries, free samples, old medicines
Wrapped eBay parcels
Major wardrobe declutter, I chucked out a small mountain of clothes and accessories, now in the back of my car ready to take to the charity shop

I felt inspired to declutter my clothes after exploring the Flylady website - once I can get onto the laptop tonight, I will post the links I found.

I very recently de cluttered my kitchen plastic pots so I'm giving myself a pass on this mission

Still to do:
May Habit of moving more: walk with DS down to post office to send eBay parcels
A bit of hoovering
Make dinner (quorn chilli con carne)
Fold and put away dry laundry
Get some more eBay listings ready

DS1 back by 10! He's only going in for an hour at a time at the moment, but we have plans to start extending that now he's doing so well.

His therapist was here at 12 and told me she was leaving in July . The good ones always bloody leave! But she has assured me that her successor is excellent and that DS1 will still be supported. Had a good discussion with her about the dangers of him relapsing once he's at school full time (which is what has happened twice now) and the need for CAMHS back up.

Am trying to arrange a meeting now between various different professionals for DS1. Very difficult getting everyone together at the same time.

Hope dog is ok, SC. Completely understand about immobilising panic re too many things looming. I'm sure walking the dog must be a good way of destressing, as well as benefiting him.

Dogs - glad you have made the most of DH being away and that you have surprised yourself by actually enjoying it. You are right that it is the last time you will have to yourself ever again for a very long time .

Thanks Grey. Well done on the massive wardrobe declutter. I need to do the same, but am scared to start.

DS2 has done a Maths assessment for me. There was a lot of groaning and flopping on the sofa, but he finished it eventually. I pointed out that he'd have finished twice as quickly if he hadn't made such a fuss. Sometimes I think (hope) he's better at Maths than he appears, but just cba.

Don't worry Grey I currently seem to be at a rate of doing about 10 to 15 mins work and then an hour and a half sitting on my arse in front of tv with a hot choc thinking and planning my next move

Tomorrow morning I'm going to a 'Sling Surgery' to get some advice about getting around the house sling so I can hopefully still be able to do a few things around the house if I get a "Velcro baby" which is what I'm predicting due to my DPs devil baby genes (I figure it's best to be prepared for that possible scenario anyhow).

I already have one second hand sling but I've heard that is more of an out of the house walking somewhere sling as it isn't so quick and easy to get baby in and out, which is I figure what I need for around the house.

Toffee you made me laugh with your last time I'll ever be alone again comment. Although I suspect it is the laugh of the damned, knowing that never a truer word was spoken

Blimey Grey [strokes ] you have been busy! Well done re: mahoosive wardrobe declutter!

Dogsbum Speaking as the parent of an 'only' (with dh being v hands on when he is here) I think you will have occasional time on your own (once past infant stage) but, judging from experience of friends, much harder once second child arrives (but let's not rush ourselves )

Well done re: alcove shelving! V. impressive!

Oh and think it is a sign of a very healthy relationship that you don't miss your dh too much!!

Great that they are taking things so gradually with ds1 and school attendance Toffee but so sorry to hear about his therapist leaving; she always sounded so fab when you posted about her. Shame she won't be around for Sept transition. Here's hoping her replacement continues in same vein.

Speaking of your ds2 and maths and groaning; you have my sympathies. I have just come up to my office to hide away for 5 mins and do some deep breathing; as the over-tired spinning catastrophising tornado of stress and high emotion (and general feeling that the world is totally unfair and against her) that is dd immediately post school (poor thing) has returned and I am her chosen release valve!! Have supplied milk and flapjacks ... hoping it is safe to go back down now ...

Ok then: Links for tomorrow, Wednesday 6th May

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Learn about and tackle hot spots This is a really good one to follow.

The Daily focus for Wednesday is Anti Procrastination Day roll your sleeve up and tackle one of those task you have been putting off!!

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 2: The Kitchen. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is cleaning your small appliances: kettles, toasters, cauldrons etc

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.