Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

So here it is the dreaded January thread. The thread of resolutions and good intentions for the year that you are lucky if you see through to the end. Welcome to the start of 2014!!

A quick note for newbies, this is a long running thread. We do like new blood around here. However, we do ask you to be respectful that for a lot of us just getting off our arses is not going to help and to avoid suggesting this. We all know life is more complicated then this. So here we do things a little differently. A little bit of flying and a lot of chatter and moral support. Feel free to jump on board and join us in flying.

For those who are new to fly lady she recommends a three step program:

1. Get those babysteps into a habbit
2. Get rid of the clutter.
3. Get that deep cleaning done.

Don't worry if you think you not doing it right but not getting up to it. Some of us have been here for years and we are still decluttering. Because clutter has a nasty way of multiplying if you take you eye off it, especailly if you have kids.

Fly lady ethos tells us a few things that I want you to remember:
No perfectism this is harder then you would imagine
You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

So jump on board and lets get started.

Oh and I forgot the proper introductions. "I'm Bitchy and I shall be your guide to the fly lady system for January" better buckle up as things normally get a little crazy when it is my turn to take control. good luck

I'm back from counting church money, my mental arithmetic is soo much better.
Done Grocery Shopping for next few days...

toffee I love your dh's comment The most important thing on the list, although of course you are cherishing him just by doing all those things on the list in the first place!

SC glandular fever is often something that goes up and down..
Btw dd doesn't sound unusual in getting a second wind then collapsing again. Don't we all do that quite often? Rush around and then feel dreadful? Energetic then pathetic? Anyway, you can feel ill when you are stressed, and then fine once the thought of the stressful thing is resolved (ie: decision is made to stay at home)
Other thought, When I'm ill I often say in front of the children I feel ill dh is usually very sympathetic, but children may feel quite anxious at me withdrawing and collapsing, or if I'm tired I will often say, I'm tired and then appear to give up. You've made me wonder whether inadvertently they copy me, as if assuming that it is a grownup response to various difficult situations and therefore acceptable and normal. Little children usually don't pretend to be ill, but dd has frequently used illness as an excuse and ds1 and 2 in various stressful situations have resorted to it, although all three have of course been GENUINELY ill on several occasions. Ds2 used to lie across the pews in Mass in the 6pm Mass which was not his favourite way to spend Sun Eve saying I'm tired, I'm tired...most embarrassing. I suppose I mean children learn by osmosis that adults sometimes "withdraw" through illness and that is fine, and they can think it a "solution" when they too feel overwhelmed. Just cod psychology I remember my mother often used to take to her bed, and I began to think it was a quite sensible way of restoring oneself to good humour. (she usually had a nap between 6 and 7pm - I can remember her giving me instructions for dinner around that time! from her pillows)

Now I must do some tidying and cleaning.

First on the list is

quick rescue of bedrooms (childrens only, mine is irredeemable)
swipe of loos
swipe of basins
rubbish out
approach laundry gingerly
washing up last, and dw if I've managed the rest.

IT IS POURING DOWN OUTSIDE.
[hands round cocoa and Radio 4]

sorry SC that came out all wrong, I didn't mean you take to your bed regularily or indeed at all, just that older children often pick up that adults feel tired and ill and that it is legitimate to be tired and ill when you need some special attention or care from someone.

With ds2 we had the issue of him not wanting to go to school and it was easier to get things straight from the beginning and just admit that was the reason not any feigned illness. And say to him, this is making you anxious and that is why you don't want to go school, we can solve this problem either by taking the day off today (if insurmountable problem due to school's fault homework or extreme stress) or by tackling problem in small steps...I will send note, talk to teacher, get a dispensation on this problem, you will miss something you enjoy today and you did the work for it already, or I know you are brave enough to tackle today's science lesson/science teacher. Often that was a better way of dealing with the problem than to pretend to ourselves he was ill, as he claimed or to deny he was ill and just send him in protesting.

Goodness, it is nightmare isn't it

Hi all
Please forgive me for lack of personals. At work today so house as I left it...

Afternoon all,

Just a quick post before DH & DD come back from karate.

Done

Beds
Pack lunch
Boiled hand warmers
Dd to school
Home via grocers.
Dry laundry away
Ironing
Order vacuum cleaner bags

Make soup
Prep veg for dinner
Windows
S&S
Wipe down toilet
Litter tray
Dd from school
Dinner
I've finally cleaned my blinds (the bits I could reach) of course the bits I can't now look grubby, but at least the black spots (mold?!) have gone. So anothee job to add to the summer list.

Waves to Eustacia

No worries ¨Swan I completely 'get' what you are saying - and all advice/experience gratefully received! I'm not one for going to bed during the day (only because I always wake up feeling worse!) but I have been ill a lot recently - and dd has seen that - dh and I have already discussed whether or not she is inadvertently mimicking me. Totally agree with your 'small steps' appraoch ... . It is indeed a bit of a nightmare. Just want to inculcate her with a bit of resiliance ... At least we have reached the point where she admitted she could have gone in this morning, but like most dc, she is veyr much "this is how I feel in the moment" mode and can't see ahead or around that sometimes. Things a bit calmer tonight.

Day didn't really improve here. Spent most of afternoon trying to diminish laundry pile but kept getting interrupted by dh. He has to go away unexpectedly tomorrow and Wed so yet more cancelling/re-arranging to do. Yargh!!!!!!

waves to Goth - congrats on your productive day [SC looks shifty]

Ta da
2x loads of washing
1 bath
lots of coffee drinking
work

Yep that it the sum total of my to do list today.

Ok Tuesday is planning day - sort your meal plans out, sort out what is going on when, calendars etc etc. Go on won't take long. Get it done. Just remember, conservation to realistic plans only. NO perfectionism. No to do lists from hell.

Oh look the babystep helps you on this how to use a calendar

keep decluttering in your zones or where ever needs it the most for 15mins

Missions are here

Evening all.

Have had a lovely day.

ta da
up to move car because they started work on our street today and didn't want to get blocked in
walked to hospital for blood test
walked to children's farm in park so ds could have a run around
tried on clothes
packaged up online shopping return
walked to post office to send package
supermarket for a few bits
yesterday's wash away
2xwash, dried, away
Doctor Who x3 (almost on Matt Smith, still have one more episode to go, got confused by all the specials!)
Dinner (leftovers)
Washing up
made packed lunch for tomorrow
laid out clothes for tomorrow
run
shower/hair
celebrate excellent test results form hospital with a glass of

And relax...

Sorry for lack of personals. Going to enjoy wine and book now while DH watches Revolution.

Evening everyone :)

Phew, all these school issues sound incredibly stressful, DS starts school this September so can't even begin to imagine thinking about things like school refusal and statements :(

Sc and Ellie - ah, this is what flylady calls perfectionism, I never ever considered myself a perfectionist until I read her stuff about it and it totally applies to me, I am far more likely not to do something if I am not able to finish it to the standard I want, which is why the house has been so bad in the past. I really am trying to work past that mind set. It is tough when I have got my mother on one shoulder withering about it not being worth doing something if you can't do it properly...

I have had quite a productive day today, 20 odd items ticked off on my Home routines app (don't worry, they do include things like 'up and dressed' :o ), and the DC helped me to do the dusting from the weekly bleurgh earlier :) Also took them to a music class, went to the library bus and did some painting with them (and cleaned up afterwards ), so been a good day :)

Thank you for the links Bitchy :) oh, I did also manage the missions today, the bathroom one I did when the DC were in the bath after the painting session, how is that for multi tasking?! :o

Withering?! I meant wittering :)

how to use a calendar?

Working on my list for tomorrow. Going to be long.

I know alice tbh i have never even bothered to look at it properly as it used to be something different before she updated her website and the tweeness got a bit militant.

I just read her guidelines on how to use a calendar.... Err, basically as long as you're using one, that's the most important thing :o

well that's tomo babystep done then whispers aren't you organised

saw this thought of the fledglings

I don't even have 12 seconds, Bitchy .

So, as usual I posted and then life, well illness, got in the way and then I felt too to come back. But that's a little silly so I'm jumping back in. Restarting already and not even halfway through January, even more .

I haven't caught up with the thread as wouldn't have managed to post at all if I'd tried but hope to be a little more active and keep up with it. DC2 being down to two feeds a day has seriously curtailed my internet time though, may have to encourage DH to play on the xbox more.

I have managed to (just about) keep up with washing up, washing and minimal wiping/sweeping/vacuuming though so that's positive. Have had a couple of impromptu visits and didn't feel horribly embarrassed about my house which was nice, need to work on no embarrassment now and maybe even aim for pride.

Ellie, ellie Looooook!!!!!! It's not just me.

my imperfect list for today was done

cooked supper (pork escalopes in orange and onion, boiled potatoes, followed by slacker's trifle, (homemade assembly!)
talked ds2 through his history homework, although he was incredibly irritating and refused to actually write anything unless dh did it with him [curses] He also refused to lay the table which annoys me more than homework!!!!!

I spent most of afternoon lying on sofa watching a mixture of dr who, young Dracula, M I High in attempt to join in dcs' "fun" rather than keep waving wooden spoons at them

Picked up ds2 from tube on foot, more walking/exercise

Listened to dd do her Lambda piece on Velveteen Rabbit several times I am Real I am Real [stamps imaginary velveteen paw]

gave up really - all my children are going to end up experts in Dr Who and CBBc drama. I tried to pay ds1 £1 to read a chapter of his book for 20 mins...he spent 10 mins recharging the computer so he could extract a CD of glee songs to accompany his reading, then said he had to look for another CD, then started listening to that and singing along. No reading. No revision for science test.
TBH I need to start modelling some reading myself

Just what a good line from HP re: Voldemort- I must look it up. Ds2 has a habit of lifting phrases from films and tv series and using them half in jest and half seriousness.

washed up
washes x 2
rubbish out
food recycling
dcs showered

bitchy I too am famous for that particular skill!

No flying here except routines but did meal plan and do onlne shop. And all the school admin. And read with DD, which is where all the swear words came in (on my own in the kitchen - 'just going for a glass of water darling - you carry on')

Sorry to read about all the poorly people - we are in what I suspect will turn out to be a brief lull between illnesses at the moment - will enjoy it while it lasts

Tomorrow I am going for 15 mins decluttering in each of the DCs rooms and the bathroom (working from home day). Will the excitement never end?

Bloody hell you lot talk a lot.

I'm just popping in to say hi, bye, goodnight and sorry I haven't read since yesterday because I need to go to bed.

Oh and this flying malarkey is finally working- will I be booted off the thread? None of it's perfect but the laundry is kept on top of, all of downstairs is tidy every evening, and decluttering is getting done. :)

Tell me to eat my words when I'm moaning in a weeks time that I've fallen behind.

Off to check my calendar and have a decent bedtime ;)

Evening!

I actually did some flying today!

Ta da!
Degunged taps in downstairs loo
Swept and mopped kitchen floor
Demudded wellies
Laundry done (not put away though)
Cooking with DS1
Cleaned up kitchen
Cleaned bathroom mirror

Tomorrow I really need to do some work, but instead have to go to another meeting about the future of the school. Sigh. So frustrating and all a massively unnecessary distraction.

Silly - Oooh! at hallowed concrete. More likely to have passed in EUR corridors as I wasn't much of an LCR person.

Toffee - DS2 voluntarily tried a tangerine (or other small orange!) yesterday and decided he liked it. Trying not to fret that he ate lettuce and cheese for dinner as he had a big lunch and another orange so won't get malnourished or scurvy! DS1 on the other hand ate two helpings of pork and pearl barley stew with tomatoes. :)

SC - sorry to hear about hard day. Hope tomorrow is better.

Big waves to all. Better go and print off reams of petition...

NickNacks, it only takes a day or so, I was feeling all smug on Thursday and then it took a couple of days to unravel and start looking like the house pre- flying again!

What a coincidence, I just read The Velveteen Rabbit this evening for the first time as I got it out of the library for DS today. Bloody hell, it is like Toy Story 3 all over again!!