Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

So here it is the dreaded January thread. The thread of resolutions and good intentions for the year that you are lucky if you see through to the end. Welcome to the start of 2014!!

A quick note for newbies, this is a long running thread. We do like new blood around here. However, we do ask you to be respectful that for a lot of us just getting off our arses is not going to help and to avoid suggesting this. We all know life is more complicated then this. So here we do things a little differently. A little bit of flying and a lot of chatter and moral support. Feel free to jump on board and join us in flying.

For those who are new to fly lady she recommends a three step program:

1. Get those babysteps into a habbit
2. Get rid of the clutter.
3. Get that deep cleaning done.

Don't worry if you think you not doing it right but not getting up to it. Some of us have been here for years and we are still decluttering. Because clutter has a nasty way of multiplying if you take you eye off it, especailly if you have kids.

Fly lady ethos tells us a few things that I want you to remember:
No perfectism this is harder then you would imagine
You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

So jump on board and lets get started.

Oh and I forgot the proper introductions. "I'm Bitchy and I shall be your guide to the fly lady system for January" better buckle up as things normally get a little crazy when it is my turn to take control. good luck

Thank you all for the welcome

Bleurgh, did F all today, except go to work, come home, bedtime stories, out for slimming (lost 3.5lbs), back home, ate dinner then two packets of sweeties and watched Dancing on Ice from yesterday (haven't seen Results Show yet though). Now to bed as I'm exhausted.

Sorry to those of you who aren't feeling well or have ill DCs - I hope you get better soon.

Thank you to Sanschocolat and others for the advice - DH has read Sink Reflections in the past and I think we need to come up with a joint plan of action, other than just chucking everything away which I'm currently contemplating!

Evening all,

Whispers, Nick - I too am a Yo-Yo Flyer, I veer from being really under control to absolute chaos and back again, the main difference now is that it is much easier than it used to be to regain some control.

Just - thank you so much for your wise words re the SA, I really appreciate you taking the time, especially when you are so under the weather, hope today has brought some improvement.

Blue/Toffee - I'm going to have to buy that fussy eating book aren't I?

Ta-da!

Get up, morning routine etc
School run.
Caught SENCO - had a chat re SA. She is happy to support the application, although expressed doubt as to likely success.
Home, very quick tidy up, laundry in dryer etc, empty veg boxes out for collection, off to work.
Home from work, very quick tidy up
School run, both DCs had a friend round so I was left in peace thanks to DVDs and an Ipad which is a brilliant social tool for a DC with AS.
Tax return 90% done
Grandparents arrived just as the two mums of friends arrived for pickup, so a full house and a nice chat with all concerned.
DH home
Tea
1/2 hour OU work (as well as Forensic Science discussed last week I'm studying the Autism Spectrum, good timing).
Registered for school online payment system
DCs spellings etc and bed
1/2 hour on a jigsaw
Letter applying for SA written, LA contact details tracked down
Emailed another therapist about assessment for DS
Paid a bill.

Feels like quite a productive day was had.

My OU coursework arrived today .

I also failed at the decent bedtime step. And my alarm has gone off. In theory I am moving at speed to get every thing done. In practise. I am going for coffee and will be making 2 cups to be done with. I had forgotten about what early early morning are. I must have been crazy to do this thrice weekly in ages past. And this would have been considered a lie in too.

To do:
be out lots
Wash bedding
take bed apart and put some stuff into storage
put bed back together
sleep

Right coffee, shower and arse out fo the door by half 6am haveing eaten breakfast, sent email and ensured i have everything for today. wow am i in an optomistic mood this morning.... And before the first cup of coffee.

Whoknows - Yoyo flyer, i like it I also find it easier to gain control than I used to, we have done some major decluttering since we had DC (we had to, their rooms were full of junk!), which really helps. It's still my motivation which is the main issue.

This morning

I am feeling hopeful of some progress...

dcs are all at school. Last minute skirmish over Dr Who watching - although I must admit it is compulsive..it was one of those actors from Hustle series with the woman who played a character from Trollope (Way we Live Now) PLUS D Tennant ... Ds2 had the uusual screaming fit over his memory stick and where was it? (in blazer)

Need to buy a "tea party" outfit for a 50th birthday in Northumberland, am thinking Downton type excesses

Need to wash some black socks as we ran out this morning (uniform)

Need to buy some more school shirts for ds1

Need to pick up car from MOT and pay

Pay In very large cheque to cover these extravagances

Cook supper in advance

Tidy ds1's room as it is unspeakable,and talk to Dh about rearrangement thereof (except I know he will roll his eyes and stick his fingers in his ears...we have far too many books in there and all Dh clothes in the wardrobe ) Atm it is NOT a good working environment for ds1 and he just cannot find anything/put anything away.

Toffee oh coursework, v exciting. "education is wasted on the young"

Hello to Hemlock (and apologies for missing your arrival)

Who knows happy to support application for stat assessment is good news. (A cynic would drop her a note thanking her for agreeing to support the application, for the evidence paper trail.)

Bitchy very much not just you. Whole paragraphs here.

whispers another yo-yo flyer here, theoretically it's circumstances causing mine, but they may well be allowing me not to be examining motivation issues.

To do right now:
Become motivated enough to overcome everything in way of achieving target!

Somehow I have to get myself across the borough in order to attend the wonderfully titled ‘motivational employment workshops’ targeting unemployed and underemployed (in my case hard working unpaid disabled) social housing tenants.

Am actually very motivated to try anything to convert unpaid employment to paid employment.

But, does my body understand that it has to be motivated and enough strength return to limbs to hoist myself around and fluid desist from falling out of eye enough to safely drive, no.

Is my temperature motivated to drop a few degrees. No.

Is ds motivated to get out of the bathroom or bring me a bowl of water. No.

Is ds motivated enough to go to where he needs to be on time so I’m clear to get on with trying to get myself together, no.

Will the banger be motivated to understand it’s need to make it there and back on 1.7 litres of fuel. Who knows.

This motivation malarkey is more complicated than it seems.

Yoyo flying, that's exactly it. I'm not sure I'll ever get it 100% but I am getting better. Even on bad days more gets done than it did back in my really dark days. Always on top of washing up and wiping down sink and counters, laundry is done (just need to work on putting away) and I swish and swipe a few times a week. Just need to build on that now which is proving harder than expected. I am better at just doing five minutes now whereas before if I couldn't do it perfectly I wouldn't bother. Sorry, think I may have said that last time. I'm not really with it as I have another migraine looming which is my fourth in two weeks. Maybe flying, exercising and 5:2ing all at once was a bad idea, I usually get maybe four a year so have reached my quota by mid January.
As such today's list is short:

Wash up
Reboot laundry
S&S x2
Empty and wash upstairs bins (done earlier)
Tidy/dust/vacuum lounge
Sort out at least one box of toys

Last two are because DS1 wants different toys out so have said we need to tidy up and sort out first but it ties in nicely with today's mission. And happily I decided to empty and wipe out the bins earlier as I was walking past one so that's the other half of the mission done. They might not be flylady clean but are better than they were.

Hello [hemlock] and everyone

Definite yo yo flying here. Hoping for an 'on' (or should that be up?) day here!

To do
reply to two arsy emails
conference call
book holiday 1
pay deposit for holiday 2
pay nanny payroll company
15 mins decluttering bathroom
15 mins decluttering DD room
15 mins decluttering DS room
15 mins decluttering stairs.
Paint bathroom windowsill
Paint bathroom skirtng boards
Go for some sort of a walk somewhere (lazy)
detail clean bathroom

Yesterday I got done upstairs so today I need to down here which is a right tip in every room!

Ta Da

• S&S x 4
• Hoovered through upstairs plus down stairs
• Recycling out
• Dry clothes away
• Laundry load on and hung to dry
• Shopped for food for the week
• Swam 1.5k (DD and I were supposed to be going for a run but it was raining hard after school)
• Washed pots and shined sink

Right. Need to get off my backside and produce a list for today!

Quick pop in to put up what I have of my list thus far.

ta da
usual morning routines, school run
laundry in washer
washing up done
counter cleaned off
appointment made for MOT for car
old shower curtain taken down in bathroom (was going to put another up, but realised don't need to at the moment as I'm still waiting to replace the shower )
recycling taken out to the outside bin
rubbish taken out to the outside bin
electric and gas prepayment meters checked and calculated

to do
pick up prescriptions at chemist
spray mould spray in shower area
clean kitchen shelf
tidy up living room
vacuum living room (this evening after kids are done messing it up again)
drink more coffee (ok this is a work in progress)
finish up paperwork
afternoon school runs (two of them - split Tuesday)

I'm pretty sure there's something else, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. Just one of those "niggling at the back of your mind" things.

Difficult morning: DS1 is refusing to go to school again. Now, there's a surprise . Need to arrange a meeting with the learning centre and school sooner, rather than later, I think.

Have lost a cheque for a large amount of money. The worry is nagging away at me. It should be in the house, somewhere, but there is always the faint possibility it's been thrown away in error.

Toffee My sympathies re school refusal. Every now and then DS1 starts kicking off about going in. Luckily, so far I've managed to turn it around, but I always worry what I would need to do if he flat out refused. Carrying him in kicking and screaming is probably frowned upon, isn't it? (I mean MY DS1, not yours)

Where do you generally put things to keep them safe? I have particular spots that I put things like that, so I can usually narrow it down to a handful of places. Is it possible the cheque got mixed up in some other paperwork that you have filed away? Or tucked into somewhere in your handbag? Mixed up in a pile of receipts? Hope you find it soon!

Just I hate the word "motivation". Sometimes we do things sometimes we don't, only God(and I mean that in all seriousness) knows why we manage half the stuff we manage or why some people can persuade us to do things and others can't.
SN threads have a wonderful phrase, "the Caring Carrot".
I refuse to believe this [flylady] thread is a motivational thread btw It is a theatre of possibilities
anyway, I hope you make exactly the right decision for YOU.

Toffee ds2 has been frightful on the way to school this morning, physically attacking his older brother and insulting him. (this was because dss both wanted to join the Drama Club and we know from experience dss cannot be in the same club without upsetting each other) Dh came back a wreck. SOO frustrating about the school refusal with your dsl. It must be like running the gauntlet EVERY day for you, just worrying will he won't he? Hope the school can come up with some solutions and possibly CBT person too?

Dealt with paperwork this morning, long chat with DH about boys. Dss will not be allowed to walk to school together from NOW ON.
and now setting out on the various errands. Have worked out which outfit to wear from my existing wardrobe ( a very over the top brocaded silver jacket) sadly do not need to go clothes shopping, except for boring school shirts.

And here was just me thinking it was a thread of craziness that the sensible ones tried to keep calm and prevent from over running mn with chaos. that just me then?

ta da
training
doc appointment
sort out a whole load of follow up appointments/tests
emails.
book babysitter for various dates.

Eating lunch before grabbing shower and heading out to run a few errands. Feeling fragile today.

Ta da

Emailed the school
Did all the washing up (last night's and this morning's)
Completely lost my temper with DH when he reminded me to look for the cheque, which I was already worried about, on top of my worries about DS1. I turned into a mad, screaming banshee. Took both of us by surprise.
Realised I had failed to cherish DH (see yesterday's 'to do' list)
Apologised to a rather shaken DH
Decided maybe I was a little more stressed than I had realised
Had another look for the cheque - under the sofa, in the kitchen hotspot, in the clutter drawer - but no luck
Delegated talking with DS1 to DH
Left house to visit a friend for coffee and, whilst walking, it occurred to me that I hadn't checked my purse, where I often keep cheques
FOUND THE CHEQUE! [huge relief emoticon]
Ran back to tell DH and hand the cheque to him for safekeeping (now pinned to our kitchen noticeboard)
Spent ages chatting and drinking tea with a lovely friend - cheered me up no end
Walked home
Gave lunch to DS1 and tried to chat a bit about why he couldn't face school, but didn't get very far
DS1 told me it's an INSET day tomorrow - oh, thank God I have a day off the hell that is trying to get him to school
Ate my own lunch

About to go into town to post the parcels for work that I was meant to do this morning. Am also going to treat myself to some new stationary for the OU work .

Just - huge sympathies to you for all you have to cope with and fact that you now have to somehow get to a silly workshop. If you are officially a carer for your DS, I don't see how they expect you to work .

Alice - thank you for your helpful hints about where the lost cheque would be - and you were right, too, as it was tucked away in my purse inside my handbag. As for school refusal - I hope it never happens to you on this scale. You may have been being light-hearted when you said you didn't want to have to carry an unwilling child to school, but I have, in fact, literally dragged DS1 in (when he was nine and CAMHS told me I had to get him in somehow), but I wouldn't recommend it. Firstly, it is not a very pleasant thing to do to your child and I still feel bad about it (even more guilty, though, about the fact that I then had to leave him in hysterics at school ); secondly, because I injured myself quite badly (I was pulling DS1 with one hand and pushing a pushchair containing DS2 with the other) and almost needed surgery on my knee afterwards, as I'd torn a ligament!

Swan - sorry your boys were so difficult this morning. It sounds like a very good idea to insist they walk separately if they are so tricky together. We have had periods of keeping the boys separate for various events. They couldn't eat together for a while and DS1 still can't watch a TV programme with DS2. Thanks for your sympathy over DS1. Yes, it is hugely frustrating and enormously upsetting after all the progress he had made. I don't know what to do in the short term, although I think this shows the need for a statement in the long term.

Bitchy - you are having a busy day. Hope the coffee keeps you going.

Right, have to head into town now to post the parcels that I was going to do this morning. Then it's the school run.

and the fact

And apologies for boringly repeating myself about those parcels.

Toffee so glad you found the cheque! I mentioned the handbag because I have done that myself - torn the house apart looking for a cheque I needed to pay into the bank, only to find it quite by accident tucked right in next to a tenner in my purse. I was really only half "light-hearted" about it - I have had to carry DS1 a few times kicking and screaming and threw my shoulder and back out, needing physio afterwards. Haven't, thankfully, had to do that for school... yet. His lovely OT, however, arranged for him to be issued with a wheelchair, so when we go to places that he routinely gets sensory overloaded, I can put him in the wheelchair and avoid the whole "lay down on the floor in foetal position and refuse to respond or get up" scenario or the utter meltdown. It seems to make him feel safer. I'm pretty sure that wheelchair has saved my back over the last couple years.

Wow. I've completed my (admittedly very short) to do list. I also vacuumed the hall, stairs, landing and DS's rooms along with a tiny part of mine. Had to stop when I reached mount doom, otherwise known as our huge pile of clean washing which never seems to go, no matter how much I put away. It sometimes gets small enough so I can actually see my washing basket but is of gigantic proportions right now. Think that should go on my list for tomorrow, and every day until it's done and I reclaim my laundry basket which would be quite handy!

I can't imagine having to battle with DS's (above standard toddler/baby tantrums) every day on top of everything else. Sorry if that sounds insensitive or boasty, is not meant to be. It just sounds so hard, which is a massive understatement I know.

Toffee Ooh, new stationery, what did you get? Sorry to pry but I love love new stationery.

Hello. May I join you?
I have forgotten most of the routines but I have started writing things down in a notebook. I have just spent a couple of hours in the kitchen and have half done most jobs.
I have only read back the last page but was pleased to hear that the CHEQUE has been found. I have lost an important piece of paper and I know that I would only have put it in a safe place. Urgency now dictates that I explore my safe places.
My list is so long that it is daunting me. I have decided only to do the five easiest.

Toffee - so what are you studying? I love the OU, but am now sadly priced out of any more studying half-way through a couple of degrees . They do have a job though that I'm considering! Congrats on finding the cheque, that must have been such a relief.

Sally - well done on getting through your to-do list [cheers and hurrah emoticon]

Alice, Swan & Toffee - I can't imagine how tough it must be for you but the love and care you have for your DCs shines through

Well done to everyone on your ta Das.

Ta Da today has been going through my backlog of work emails sorting out the stuff that I didn't do immediately and so I'm feeling pretty up to speed on the work front! Get to pick DCs up from school and nursery today as I've negotiated a day working from home

To do
Clean bathroom
Read docs for work
Put washing away
Paint wall in kitchen
Get early night

Wish me luck!

Hello Chipping, so what are your five easiest tasks?

Finish washing up of kitchen knock backs which are currently stacked up in the sink
Defrost freezer (it is currently empty and turned off so should just need a swish and swipe once it has discharged all over the kitchen floor.)
Clean microwave ( have already cleaned the bits inside)
Clean kitchen floor
Ring British Gas

Also, get ready to go out this evening. Will need to tart myself up a bit.

Thanks for asking. My list is just getting longer and longer....