Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

So here it is the dreaded January thread. The thread of resolutions and good intentions for the year that you are lucky if you see through to the end. Welcome to the start of 2014!!

A quick note for newbies, this is a long running thread. We do like new blood around here. However, we do ask you to be respectful that for a lot of us just getting off our arses is not going to help and to avoid suggesting this. We all know life is more complicated then this. So here we do things a little differently. A little bit of flying and a lot of chatter and moral support. Feel free to jump on board and join us in flying.

For those who are new to fly lady she recommends a three step program:

1. Get those babysteps into a habbit
2. Get rid of the clutter.
3. Get that deep cleaning done.

Don't worry if you think you not doing it right but not getting up to it. Some of us have been here for years and we are still decluttering. Because clutter has a nasty way of multiplying if you take you eye off it, especailly if you have kids.

Fly lady ethos tells us a few things that I want you to remember:
No perfectism this is harder then you would imagine
You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

So jump on board and lets get started.

Oh and I forgot the proper introductions. "I'm Bitchy and I shall be your guide to the fly lady system for January" better buckle up as things normally get a little crazy when it is my turn to take control. good luck

School have been very supportive in trying to meet his needs, but they don't think I've got any hope of getting a statement, it's a small school with not much experience of the SA process. Every time I have floated the idea to the SENCO she has said he doesn't need one/wouldn't get one. I'm not going to float the idea this time, just tell them I am doing it. So far my relationship with the school is good, fingers crossed they will get behind me.

I think SENCO's always say that, WhoKnows. It's what I've been told all through DS1's school life. Now I'm being told that he will not be able to access a full curriculum at the learning centre, so will only be able to take GCSE Maths and English Language if he stays there. Yet he clearly can't cope with mainstream school.

dizzy - maybe DS2 will come round to that, in time. I think he's enjoying his independence at the moment. He even put his own light out and settled himself to sleep last night .

Ta da

Unloaded d/w
Reloaded d/w
Did extra washing up by hand
Dried and put away washing up
Put washing in w/m
Went to corner shop to buy bits we've run out
Put recycling out
Put kitchen rubbish out
Handed ds1 a binbag to tidy up in his bedroom
Cooked lunch

Am feeling truly rubbish now and think I must have the bug the boys had last week. I can see why their sypmtoms looked dodgy, because I am fine to sit on the computer all day - I just feel too rough to do anything else. Am feeling nauseous and aching all over. Going back to bed in a minute. Thank goodness the boys are old enough to entertain themselves now.

Toffee - I read to my two in my bed, also listen to them read, then leave them to put themselves to bed (there's nowhere to sit in their rooms as they have bunks and the top one is too low to sit comfortably on the bottom one and no room for a chair). As they are fairly close in age I can get away with reading one book to the pair of them, they wander in and out and we do spellings, times tables as well (sometimes!), so they wander in and out depending who I am paying attention too. It works fairly well overall.

Hello everyone, I have well and truly fallen off the wagon over this weekend
Done very minimal flying and not managed to catch up with the thread much :(
Flying really doesn't work very well here at the weekends, somehow the presence of DH and the lack of routine just throw it all up into the air and nothing gets done when it should :( Any tips gratefully received!

No tips, Whispers. I have just woken up . Just remember - you are never behind with Flylady.

WhoKnows - that sounds lovely .

Fell asleep in DS2's bed, where I was soon joined by a very snuggly, but wriggly, small boy with curly hair.

Ta da since waking up

Put the oven on for dinner
Folded up some clean clothes and put them away
Sat down

I find it the same whispers. My dp likes to go out on little trips at the weekend, v irritating. however, we have had 3 lots of guests this weekend so some cleaning has been done for a change. Not really fly routines though, so behind with washing.

Evening all, usual Sunday at the cinema for us, Justin & the Knights of Valour this week, much better than I thought it was going to be, good voice cast.

DH joined us in the city and I ended up in John Lewis, so DD has another Lego chima set and I have more wool. so much for getting the stash run down a bit.

Just finished dinner, so to do

Washing up
Change bedding
Dd bathed & hair washed
Ironing
Laundry rebooted

Just watching Ski Sunday, not helping my nerves over ski/snowboarding taster sessions coming up. DD saw the downhill and went "I'm not doing that!"

Thank you Toffee and Giraffes :)
My trouble is that I need to hit the ground running to keep up and that doesn't happen on weekends as DH has the Saturday lie in, so I don't like to make too much noise and disturb him, and on Sundays I am asleep so don't get up until 9ish!

Silly - must have crossed over at some point. Was EUR96-2000 and LLT 01-02 :) Tis the setting for the Antiques Roadshow right now too...

Evening all. Loads of posts today, can't keep up!

I have mainly spent the day marking, 5 hrs worth. Broke it up with a trip to the cinema to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 and lunch out with DC's. Flying minimal.

I have read all posts but need to go and get a bath before Sherlock so not much time to reply but just wanted to say to don'tstep, please don't feel disheartened. Firstly, spending time with DC's is super duper important. Sometimes I even enjoy it.
Secondly, i have been here for 4 and a half years, since the inception of this thread and still haven't cracked it. Work full time as a teacher in middle management, 2 dc's (10 and 5) and a DH who works long hours. I am beyond shite during the week, always have been, always will. bitchy summed up what I achieve during the week very accurately (she knows me well). I have learnt never to beat myself up about it, life is hectic enough and I do my best. I think that's what this thread helps me do...my best. That's all you can do. Nothing more, nothing less.

Evening all.

Missed all the cha6t this weekend as spent the night at a friend's yesterday for her birthday b party and came back this morning. Had a very carefree trip back - reading on the train for a whole hour, with a Starbucks. I was wandering to the bus stop the sunshine and felt so free!

ta da
finished reading 2 books
one load wash away
1 load wash done and in td
washing up
hoovered
changed beds
emptied bins
one episode of doctor who!

Thank you Ellie for such a lovely and encouraging post. Before kids I was so so different and cleaned everything within an inch of its life. Two DCs later, pnd and a divorce and I realised tonight as I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floor, that I had no idea when I last did either

I've done the bare minimum for a long long time. So this thread certainly does help me.

The kids went to bed at 6, they were both just so exhausted after yesterday's late night. But it's given me loads of time to put washing away, sweep, clean the bathroom properly, dust the lounge and mop.

Can you tell I'm out tomorrow? Nothing focuses my mind more than knowing a babysitter will be here.

Hi, can I join you lovely people?

I've been subscribed to the Flylady emails but usually fail to keep up with them. I could spend all evening reading them and not get any cleaning done

Anyone any advice on how to fit things in around work and DCs? I leave before they get up and get in around bedtime, having spent around 4-5 hours in total commuting. DH is a SAHP but doesn't get the chance to do much housework other than cooking, shopping and laundry, so we have to fit the rest in somewhere and we're both exhausted (and rather crap at getting into doing housework). So nothing gets done during the week and then at the weekend we just want to spend time with the DCs. Just tidying up the toys with the DCs on an evening takes ages, never mind anything else

Dontstep, that's interesting, I have only become 'house proud' since a mild case of PND after DD was born. Clutter now makes me very stressed in a way it really didn't before I had DC.

Hi hemlock.

I'm always tired and often feel low. I lack the drive I used to have whispers. When I was married I was really house proud. Not sure this makes sense. I'm not keen on lots of clutter just lack the drive to keep this place spotless. Well, unless I have visitors!

Oops, sorry Hemlock, welcome

Dont - yes, I do know what you mean. I wasn't really aware before I had DD. Now I have the awareness and drive and feel out of control if the house is messy, but am often too tired to do anything about it! That is getting better as I have more sleep though

Waves to Hemlock, come along in and unsubscribe to those emails! :) You'll get the links you need on the thread and lots of lovely chatter instead of nauseating prose. Or that's the idea, anyway.

Well this is what my to do list looked like:
not kill ds whilst tidying his room fucking lego explosion
write to do list for week (tuesday is too late for a planning day for me)
put ds' clothes away
remove name tags from too small clothes
finish fastening off lose end of squares to last row,
make missing square to last row
piece up last row
laundry
ironing
folding
put my clothes away
drink lots of water
move box of paperwork for sorting downstairs ready for later this week
print labels for amazon return
sort out parcel for return
work on squares for blanketgate blanket 2.
Anything that annoys me.

Not done a lot of it tbh. But I have done
cast off ds' knitting which is now a square pillow for a toy
Cast on and start ds off for scarf knitting - for ds to get bored and ask to learn to crochet
1 load washing
move box of paperwork for sorting downstairs ready for later this week
go to ikea
Move 2 bookcases and small storage unit to tempoary locations
remove broken chest of drawers
move wardrobe and
build new chest of drawers
transfer contents of old chest of drawers to new unit
return 1 bookcase to new permanant location
Fold my clothes and put away
take stock of blanketgate blanket 2 squares that are done and those which are needed.

Ds has spent the day doing stuff with DF and has been rather clingy this evening.

Today’s energy splash has been to rebuild one section of smashed fence, blessed by crazy neighbour not haranguing us.

Don’t step am awash with painkillers but my left eye appears to wish to exit my head!

Toffee Re statementing, I’m happy to help in any way if I can.
One of the reasons I went to war over statementing was to make it an enforceable legal requirement that ds had access to the national curriculum regardless of who/where his educational provider is, or if they believed him to be worth educating or not.

(He was being pushed out of all subjects including core, as he needed specialist teaching to understand, and LEA gave ‘reached the limits of his learning abilities’ as an acceptable reason, leaving him to read his own books repetitively in LS all day, then school suggested TA lead ‘art therapy’ to help him cope with bullying as an alternative to lessons.)

Pain in the backside teaching them may be, but if a child is capable of benefiting from the NC, then they should be able to access it. Shoot me as a radical, but any other stance is unacceptable.

Who knows most say that. Sometimes it’s fear of the unknown and criticism/denial from above, just as it is for parents, sometimes it’s LEA’s leaning on them to.
You have to try and sell it to them as the additional funding you’re prepared to fight for to help them help your dc, and the legacy that can leave for them as well as him, and hope for the best.

Sometimes with the best will in the world you just have to stop caring what anyone thinks, and be that parent, because you’re the one who will be dealing with the fallout of your dc’s educational failure long, long, after they’re just a memory to schools/senco/lea’s et al.

Ok a new week beckons which means only one thing. A new zone. This week we are in Zone 3: Bathroom and an Extra Room

Monday is home bleurgh day

15mins decluttering

missions are here

babystep is to do a mission

Just realised my earlier post got truncated. <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Hmm" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/hmm-PR4o6B1t.png"> no idea what was removed though. Currently writing my plan of action for the week. It is interesting...

Thanks Just - I'm still wavering over what to put in the inital letter, but a lot of it is to do with the lack of SALT and OT provision, which the school are somewhat powerless to do anything about if the NHS won't provide them. I'm also worried that I haven't kept enough notes over the years, i have kept all paperwork, but haven't always managed to write down everything said in meetings etc. Also, DS's needs aren't that obvious to most people, he isn't troublesome or outrageously different in behaviour to an NT child, a lot of it is internalised or only noticeable when he is left with othr children rather than under direct adult supervision. It's so wrong that you have to fight so hard even to be assessed, let alone statemented.

Anyway, DD's party went well, we also did some decluttering this morning, DH took on the gardden shed and did a tip run, I sorted out some things from it and put a load of things aside to sell. We had a massive Denby dinner sevice as wedding presents, but a lot of it never gets used, biscuit barrels, massive teapot, water jug, lasagne dish, huge serving bowls. If we had a bigger house and could fit in a bigger table and have more kitchen storage we might use some of it, but really can't see it happening any time soon. So going to get rid. We do use the plates, cups bowls etc.

Sorry, no personals, too tired, night all

Hi all

I am going to have to make a proper effort this week as I didn't get as far as the bathroom in my Christmas cleanathon

Off to bed now though so will catch up with you all tomorrow

Just - you have hit the nail on the head! That is exactly it - DS1 is not able to access the NC at school because his anxieties prevent him attending regularly, but this isn't fair on him. He actually loves the lessons he's attended there so far and really wants to go - he just can't always manage it. I have three weeks till our next meeting at school, so will have time to start formulating a plan of action. Thanks for agreeing to help. I'll PM you nearer the time, if that's ok. Sorry your DS had such an awful time at school. Thank goodness he had a mother with claws .

Welcome, Hemlock. Flylady will help (if you can ignore the twee) and this thread will cheer you up .

Whispers and Dontstep - interesting to hear your different pathways to houseproudness (is that a word? ). Having my first child and spending so much time at home with him is what led to me caring more about the state of my home. I am not naturally tidy at all, but I'm learning.

Bitchy - it was meant to be 'renew your spirit' day .

WhoKnows - glad the party went well. Did DD love her cake? Am impressed you managed to do some decluttering before the party.

In an extension of the 'laying out the clothes the night before' babystep, I thought I'd wash my hair the night before too. Hadn't taken into account that it was actually too late to use the hairdryer (neighbours), so am now waiting for my hair to dry. So, not such a good idea after all, but I'll be grateful in the morning.

Ta da (continued)

Loaded d/w
Tumbledried wet washing
Cooked dinner - salmon, kale, leeks, potatoes
Had a harmonious family meal and everyone loved the salmon
Persuaded DS1 to have a bath and wash his hair
Put DS2 to bed (still didn't want me to read to him, but did agree to look at a Lego book with me)
Reminded DS1 that he was meant to empty his overflowing bin into the rubbish bag I gave him this morning
Did all the washing up (DH still off housework duties)
Wiped down kitchen surfaces
Laid out clothes for school tomorrow
Prepared the school bags
Laid out lunchboxes and water bottles
Polished school shoes
Phoned MIL
Watched first episode of 'Breaking Bad' with DH and DS1
Made hot chocolate and toast for DS1
Reminded DS1 again that he needed to empty his bin (successful this time)
Changed DS1's bedclothes
Wiped down his bedside table
Noted a dusty cobweb under his bed to hoover up tomorrow
Washed my hair

Oh, and fitted in an Ocado order somewhere too.