Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

So here it is the dreaded January thread. The thread of resolutions and good intentions for the year that you are lucky if you see through to the end. Welcome to the start of 2014!!

A quick note for newbies, this is a long running thread. We do like new blood around here. However, we do ask you to be respectful that for a lot of us just getting off our arses is not going to help and to avoid suggesting this. We all know life is more complicated then this. So here we do things a little differently. A little bit of flying and a lot of chatter and moral support. Feel free to jump on board and join us in flying.

For those who are new to fly lady she recommends a three step program:

1. Get those babysteps into a habbit
2. Get rid of the clutter.
3. Get that deep cleaning done.

Don't worry if you think you not doing it right but not getting up to it. Some of us have been here for years and we are still decluttering. Because clutter has a nasty way of multiplying if you take you eye off it, especailly if you have kids.

Fly lady ethos tells us a few things that I want you to remember:
No perfectism this is harder then you would imagine
You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

So jump on board and lets get started.

Oh and I forgot the proper introductions. "I'm Bitchy and I shall be your guide to the fly lady system for January" better buckle up as things normally get a little crazy when it is my turn to take control. good luck

Love the idea of a wolf hat. I can't knit at all.

Evening all,

Busy day, but DH drew the short straw flying wise, more about that in a minute.

Took DS to hockey this morning after dropping a cup of tea all over the hall carpet just before we were due to leave and then having a rush to clean it up.
Came back to find all the downstairs windows wide open and DH scrubbing the living room carpet with great vigour. Turned out someone had somehow left a cup of milk next to the sofa, hidden by a throw and it had got kicked over this morning. DH said from the state of it and the stink it had probably been there several days blush. It was a lidded cup hence the smell was concealed till it got kicked over, although I had been thinking there was a bit of a whiff last night.

Anyway, well done to DH, he got it scrubbed, only thing is the rest of the carpet looks grubby now.

Anyway, then accompanied DS to an assessment with a therapist. The conversation crystallised a few things for me, which means in short I am planning to apply for a statement for him ASAP. The school have done their best for him over the years, but several things have happened over the last 6 months to tip the balance from adequate to inadequate support and I have to get on with it now. Gulp.

Amyway, after that, DS and I went shopping for DD's birthday present, her birthday is in the week but party is tomorrow. Thank you for all the nice comments about the cake BTW. Then home and took the DCs swimming and back in time for dinner and watching Splash. I have just finished 90 mins worth of ironing, that's my Flying for the day. DD has packed all her party bags. DS has been appointed as chief cake cutter. Think we're all set, I hate doing parties.

Nick nacks, Swan, Toffee it's only now that ds towers above me the CP concerns have lessened despite his visible injuries list remaining.

Don't step it’s only the one’s posting ta da’s who are so good. The only thing I've been good at all month is keeping the naughty corner occupied! (yes that soggy heap earlier was me.)

Can't believe I'm this ill and can't afford to be. I actually really don't know what to do any more, I'm not getting any better, forcing myself isn't working out, and everything’s getting well behind and in a right mess.

Did manage English and DT badly with ds and forced myself up and out this afternoon for half an hour’s more tree and broken fence retrieval and more food shopping. It took four hours to get two bags, made two unusual driving errors, and I'm struggling to find correct words when talking, and have just been a knocked out leaking mess since. Glad I refused to meet friend for belated receiving of Christmas presents with her refusing to swap for hers as it wouldn’t be convenient to her later plans. Don’t know how unreasonable that was but so glad not to deal with it tonight.

Sadly ds has been getting more and more frustrated and tbh aggressive over the last few days looking for a fight. Has spent most of tonight trying to have a row with me, alternating with him trying not to burst into tears.
Telling him not to invade personal space leaning over and shouting at someone with a headache from hell, when they were chopping with a large knife, didn’t improve things. we may have belatedly entered Kevin stage.

I asked him to have a chat with someone really calm and decent he knows, about men regulating emotions the other day. He has and came back with chap said he's not like that at home and wishes he was. Yippee.

Sorry to be all me, me again.

Who Knows applying for a statement isn't too bad. It's getting one properly written, then making them actually comply with and maintaining it, that's the killer.

Thanks Just - I have heard so many horror stories both on here and in RL that my heart is full of gloom to say the least. I don't think there is any doubt that DS needs quite a bit of additional help, it is the proving that the school can't provide it part that is bothering me at the moment. I have mountains of information stacked up but the thought of getting it all into order is quite daunting.

You don't have to prove the school can't provide it, you have to show that what's needed is more than the school can reasonably just provide it with their SN budget. One way of dealing with were you're at is write a list of what he needs, write a list of why, then go through the info.

It's kind of like fly lady, if you look at the whole thing at the same time the enormity makes it impossible, break it down and it gets easier.
The list of what and why is like the shiny sink, you keep coming back to it when things start to go awry.

Left eye is killing me looking at the screen so off for more pain relief and darkness.

Thanks, I think part of the problem is that I don't really know what he needs in very specific terms, it's all vague, gut instinct. For example he's doing reasonably well academically, just not as well as I think he should be but he's well within the range of his class. It's also social stuff, he has trouble with friendships, plus he needs OT and SALT (He's been getting both, one of my tipping points is that OT have now discharged him and I suspect SALT will soon too). He has been "in the system" for a long time now and has a diagnosis, so that's all to the good.

Anyway, sleep. Just - you sound as though you need some too. Sorry you are having such a tough time with your health and with DS at the moment, sending positive vibes.

x-posted, night night.

WhoKnows - am also thinking (yet again) of going for a statement for DS1. We have a meeting with the school and learning centre in a few weeks and I will bring it up then. I suspect the only way ds could access school is to have a one-to-one helper, but I'm not sure if we'd get that. Not sure the school would support me applying for a statement, but I can go it alone, I suppose. Will you get the support of the school SENCO?

Oh, and best of luck with the party tomorrow.

Just - sorry, what is CP? (child psychologist?) . Sorry you are still feeling so ill. Could you go back to your dr? And sorry too that your DS has been difficult, which is really the last thing you need.

Swan - I have heard of DC who have the self discipline to get on with homework like your DD. Sadly, there don't seem to be any in my house. At the end of term, I found all DS2's spelling homework hidden away in his drawer at school. The image of your DS screaming with boredom over the film of 'Beowulf' made me laugh and reminded me of the David Attenborough plant documentary I tried to get DS1 to watch when we were studying Biology for home ed. The poor boy was almost comatose with boredom!

Dontstep - as Goth rightly said, you are never behind. And it seems like most of us needed a CBA day today (apart from Ellie and Bitchy who both produced scary lists, but they are old hands at this Flying lark).

human - well done on keeping up with your new year resolutions. Am intrigued by the body brushing. What difference can you see?

DS2 said he'd turn his own light out tonight, which meant I could go and watch 'The Bridge' with DS1 and DH. He hasn't wanted me to read to him for the last few nights because he's been reading to himself. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's liberating. On the other, I have always read the boys stories at night and now neither of them want me to do that anymore . Maybe I will find a book to read them in the daytime instead .

DH and I shared a bottle of Prosecco tonight. He is definitely on the mend.

Hope I have more energy tomorrow. I had a bad case of cbaitis and MNitis today.

X-posted, Who and Just. Just - I hope you don't mind if I come back to you for questions on the statement application if necessary, as you have been through it all before.

I'm daunted by it all too, Who.

We all went out for a trip to a local town this morning and DD ended getting some books from a couple of charity shops! Think she will need a bigger bookcase soon. We also got a spaghetti squash at the market which was pretty ok but needed a bit more seasoning adding.

DD and the 2 girls next door washed DH and my cars and I then took them down the shops to spend their "wages" on sweets! The girls ended up staying for tea and are now sleeping over too.

Ta Da

• Family outing
• Washing load put on and hung to dry
• Blow up air mattress
• DH cooked so I had to clear up the carnage that was the kitchen
• Wash pots and shine sink
• Empty kitchen bin
• Sweep kitchen floor

DD and I have a gala tomorrow so I need to go to bed as I have a few things to do before we go

morning all.
kitchen has stayed tidy this week so feel like I am making some progress.
life is stressful atm but cant really share :/

toffee -how old is ds? dd is 9 and we had 6 months where she didnt want me to read to her but I am back doing it now. Our challenge is to get her off wimpy kid/dork diaries/Jacqueline Wilson as I think her writing is suffering as a result...

dontstep please don't berate yourself for building Lego with your DCs. The FlyLady system allows you to clear your house around real life. Your children are so important and life is so short. Play while you can.

Another one here looking in to applying for a statement for DS. His Macmillan nurse has said he'll do it. He's been saying it for months. I'm just going to have to do it myself, aren't I?

I'm broadly keeping up with the thread, just not posting. And flying has also been going well. Hall and kitchen are still tidy.

I need to get up now so DH can take the Christmas tree to the tip...

Blue how exciting! I have never met another alumnus who wasn't someone I met when I was studying. I have very very fond memories. I was in LAW98.

Silly - dontstep didn't mention playing Lego with her children - I suspect she was doing it all on her own . (Agree with you about doing things with DC being more important than housework though). Sorry you are going to have to go through the statement application process yourself, on top of everything else.

Eustacia - sorry your life is stressful atm . In response to your question about DS2 - he's eight. Interesting to hear that your DD went through the same independent phase at the same age . Reading books to my DC is one of my favourite activities.

dizzy - wow, well done on coping with an impromptu sleepover. What fun for your DD. Best of luck to her today. (Oh, and please note the 'go to bed at a decent time' babystep' ).

Spent half the night sleeping with DS2 because he'd had a nightmare. He's a wriggler, so that's never very restful, much as I love cuddling him. DS1 has just decided that he's too old to have a bedtime kiss and/or cuddle , so I am making the most of DS2.

We have another day at home today, so I really must tackle the house. Hopefully, will be back later with a 'ta da' list.

Hahaha oooops I just assumed...

Well, Lego is family fun, even without the family, isn't it?!

It certainly is, silly .

ladies!

My DD was with me but I admit I was enjoying building. Although sometimes it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack; that one elusive brick! She took apart some great buildings and built her own creations and then months later, we're trying to build the original ones again. Cue a mountain of bricks for 6-8 different lots of Lego buildings etc.

In fact this morning we've been building again. 2 hours so far. So I've missed Church and my home is a mess still. I must try and sort it out. I won't get a chance this week coming.

I suspect I'll post more on this thread at weekends. I just can't keep up in the week.

Justgetting how's the headache?

I think it's lovely that you're spending so much time playing with your DD. I still remember one time I made myself sit and play with wooden bricks with toddler DS2 and he looked up at me, with a big smile, his eyes shining, and said, "We're having fun, aren't we, Mummy?" It meant so much to him .

Am still MN-ing. Feeling very achy and tired today. Have taken painkillers and really must get on with stuff .

Dontstep it is also important to remember some of us has been on the thread since it originally started (or not that far off) we have many years to work to the system. Some find flying during the week is literally the bare minimul (eg laying out clothes, bedtimes, swish and swipe) the babysteps are more design for the day to day stuff tbh the missions/decluttering etc are more detailed. I do know we used to have someone who would babystep in the week and then wizz around the missions at the weekend. But imo she was a bit of a superwoman.

Just hope you are feeling better soon!

Toffee CP = child protection

14hrs sleep last night was much needed. Need to get up but have been taking things nice and gently and pottering around on the internet. mning Never got to ikea. Decided that can't replace chest of drawers if there is no space to build chest of drawers and that I need to get room tidied first. Ds is still working on his knitting. He has decided he is making a scarf for his cousin he doesn't seem to have asked many qestions since he recued it, so either he decided tv was better or he is doing ok or i will have a mess to sort out when i go grab my coffee in a mo.

Plans for today:
not kill ds whilst tidying his room fucking lego explosion
write to do list for week (tuesday is too late for a planning day for me)
put ds' clothes away
remove name tags from too small clothes
finish fastening off lose end of squares to last row,
make missing square to last row
piece up last row
laundry
ironing
folding
put my clothes away
drink lots of water
move box of paperwork for sorting downstairs ready for later this week
print labels for amazon return
sort out parcel for return
work on squares for blanketgate blanket 2.
Anything that annoys me.

But first job coffee and breakfast. Need to get ds doing some exercises too so will have to consider when best to do that. he has sore achy muscles from yesterday which need gently stretching out before pe tomo...

OK, will use the power of three:

To do

Unload d/w
Reload d/w
Put a load of laundry on

Bitchy - my DS decided he wanted to learn to knit yesterday too! He has started off with a rather less ambitious scarf for his rather small tiger though :)

Am still in bed and have spent the last hour or so catching up on here, not that I am likely to remember much.
Good luck all of those thinking about statements, it really seems to be a mixed bag as to whether schools, etc are helpful. I know one friend found that high school were really on the ball and got a statement through in record time after she had spent 6 years trying to get the primary school to do anything It seems to be another very unfair system where those who need it really have to fight for it.

Whoknows - cake looks brilliant, hope party goes well and you all enjoy it.
Chose 'The Voice' over 'Splash' last night but have recorded it as its filmed locally and have friends who were there last night. Just really pleased that there is good family viewing on a Saturday night now that Strictly has finished :)

Another one here with a DC with an orthodontist referral - DS's adult front tooth has come through a long way behind his baby tooth and dentist doesn't think it will move much of it's own accord. Apparently the waiting list is loooooooooong.

Welcome back SC, how were FiL and SiL?

Best get up and do some stuff - DH and I actually cleared out the understairs-cupboard-of-doom yesterday so would like to capitalise on the glow we have got from that and tackle something else.

Waves to everyone, hope you all enjoy your Sunday.

feetheart - we had the option of going on nhs waiting list which would take ages or paying £75 for private assessment which has taken about 6 weeks to sort out.

Eustacia and Toffee - my DD is 9 and still likes me to read to her at night (we are currently on the Mallory Towers books) but will then read independently afterwards.

One of the girls woke me up at 5.30am not exactly vomiting but coughing and spitting saliva down the loo - and kept it up every half an hour until they got up at 8am! She went back to sleep between visits but I only kept nodding off as I was listening out for her! She looked a bit tired and drawn but seems to be picking up.

Spent morning getting food & bags ready for the gala and baking cup cakes for a bake sale at school tomorrow and just about to feed DD lunch before we go.

WhoKnows best of luck with sorting a statement. It can be daunting. It sounds like the school is not horribly supportive? Or just not supportive of a statement? DS1 has had a statement for a couple years, but we were very lucky and his MS school was very proactive. He's in specialised school now, still with statement, would not cope with MS.

I never get much done on the weekends, with the DCs all over the place. Just the basics, really.