Revolvenotevolve I did my best to be measured about what I said. I also did my best to make it clear that it was the system being suggested and assumptions that make that system possible that I found fault with, rather than the person posting it.
Hey Judith and anyone/everyone else is perfectly welcome to post here and argue causes for different systems if they want in my book, but if anyone tries to convert folks on a F/L system thread to something other than F/L system, they have to expect people to say that’s not what this thread’s about, and here’s why not. Surely?
The wonderfully diverse people on this thread have one thing in common; for a variety of reasons they either can’t, or don’t wish, to throw more time and effort at housework, but don’t wish to live in squalor and chaos either.
The beauty of it is no one has to feel guilty about ‘only’ managing one thing, (or maybe nothing) when talking to someone who’s managed huge amounts, because it’s not about ‘have you done it right?’, ‘do you do enough?’ , ‘Is it your own fault?’, 'what could you do better', ‘But couldn’t you give up something and do more’? or any form of competitive housework.
It’s about improving on any level as best we can and encouraging each other through everything from broken lives to broken fingernails regardless of who's suffering which.
The poster had already said they knew about the fly lady system and was proposing a different one, so they knew they were coming onto a F/L thread and saying ‘don’t do F/L, do this different way, it’s the only way you’ll get anywhere.’
If I went onto a TTC thread saying ‘I tried, it has it's merits but never worked for me, you need to learn about adoption’ (disregarding those who can't) or a home ed thread saying ‘I see the benefits of H/ed but it doesn’t work for me school does, here’s how to do school’ (disregarding those who can't) or a food bank thread with ‘food banks don’t work for me here’s my budgeting advice’, (disregarding those with nothing to budget with) it might be true, I might be right, and I might only be trying to help, but I would expect to be questioned about why, and told why it was pretty demoralising for some. Not all, as others have said, they found positives in it.
I’m sorry if either yourself or Hey Judith are offended, and sorry to all to have caused disharmony by objecting, but having had to drop of the thread because circumstances meant I couldn’t keep up even with the absolute basics, the ‘get off the setee and do everything all the time, more often, is the only way’ post right at the start of the month, felt like the options were either give up the one place where people don’t normally tell me to work ever harder and longer, or say something.
I clearly have yet to get to grips with the how part of put others first vs put my own needs first.
The majority of people on this thread are nothing but kindness and decency, one or two of us may have rougher edges in how we're able to put things, but I’ve never seen a micron of spite, absolutely none.