Fledglings Fly in Flaming June; C.H.A.O.S. will be banished soon!

[sanguinechompa]

Welcome to the June 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Toffee for leading us throughout May!! Hope you have a fabulous holiday in Spain!!

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here, here and here

All welcome!!

Hello everyone

Failing on all fronts.

Mothering:
Just come back from a rather "interesting" school meeting to discuss dd's progress. After some struggles in French & maths earlier in the year/individual tuition etc, all had come good and her end of term report was really excellent, mainly 'A's. So went to meeting not anticipating probs. Unfortunately though, we were greeted with rather sombre faces. They've had exams this past week and dd has done really, really poorly in all of them - even her best subjects[sigh]. Aside from a bit of basic steerage and monitoring, I had backed off with the thumbscrews because I thought dd was revising fairly autonomously and well. I was obviously wrong ... . School have come down like a ton of bricks on dd today (because they thinks she needs it) and have kept her in to study over lunch-time and she has to study extra hard tonight to sit a re-take tomorrow.

Diet and exercise regimen:
took a turn for the worse yesterday when dd's godfather popped in unexpectedly to tell us about his work promotion. Managed to "stretch" dinner OK and was fairly healthy but drank two glasses of white wine and had a coffee and a chocolate biscuit. Also didnt reigster a pedometer reading yesterday either as was sat at computer (doing 'work' work) most of day and then went everywhere by car.

Flying:
somehow behind with everything again even though I was up-to-date two days ago. Behind with laundry, haven't done boudoir (again), haven't even completed Tuesday's list. Loads of jobs shouting at me to be done.

Think I might go out again ...

just wanted to say SC you have not failed, so there!

You are the most conscientious homework supervisor I know! even in RL. That is why you feel upset about her bad results, you think it is your fault. It isn't, she was ill before exams, she missed a lot of earlier part of year, and the school is dealing with it. So next time she will revise better, because she knows that there is no magic bullet for exams. [And anyway 8 is way too young to be worrying about exams as a parent anyway, even if you want her to get the habit of working hard. A's sound wonderful, I would be proud of that at least.

And one glass of wine and biscuit is not going to tip you into lard lady! Guests are more important than diets.

done
long lovely muddy walk, nettles, elderflowers, drops of rain
more petrol in car
pork escalopes for supper
resorted to lunch at 11.30 am - help! Will have to have supper at 5.30 now...

now need to go into school to work a bit.

Toffee oh very good news that W rang back - so you see, you are someone's perfect owner!

Sorry you had to go through that meeting, SC. It's not your fault that your DD hasn't worked hard though. I have recently accepted that I can't make DS1 want to work (you can bring a horse to water, etc). As Noel Janis Whatsit says in her new book, you can influence your children, but you can't control them. I hope that your DD has had enough of a shock to realise that she has to apply herself a bit more. In the end, it's up to her.

General question for Flyers: how do you get sticky stuff off your brass letterbox? Some dastardly postman shoved a letter in careless fashion through our letterbox and, somehow, some sticky glue stuff from the letter got stuck onto the brass - and I can't get it off, no matter how much I polish. All I get now is a very shiny letterbox, with a rectangular mark in the centre of it .

As my world is very small today (I am hovering around DS on the computer all day), this has become of huge import to me!

Will spend some time using the Magic Marker to cheer myself up .

Magic Eraser Block would be my suggestion Toffee.

Lakeland do sticky stuff remover - t'is fab!

Thank you, you lovely lot! Feel better now and because I've had lunch

Toffee yes, in the end, it is up to her and that's exactly what the school said. Lots of talk about autonomy and responsibility. She hasn't quite "got it" yet though. I guess it is all too easy to shelter an only child from these things without really realising it, if I'm honest. Sounds like a good book by the way.

Talking of bringing horses to water, I'm reading Monty Roberts 'Horse Sense for Horse People' at the moment in which he highlights the similarities between training horses and children (he and his wife fostered over 60 'wayward' dc in addition to horse whispering). Sounds mad but the basic principles are the same: kindness, mutual respect, giving boundaries but offering a choice, reward for good behaviour, ignoring bad etc etc and he also emphasises the fact that you can't force a child or a horse to do anything, it is ultimately their choice. And if you try, they might go along with it for a while, but it will end badly.

Removing gluey stuff from brass : this any good? or this?

Swan yes, hopefully this will give her the jolt she needs. It's so frustrating because she is more than capable and the teachers really dedicated and all-around-wonderful.

And I so agree about 8 yrs being far too young for all this exam stress but this is the system here - they are totally rigid about it - it's just accepted as normal, absolutely no question. In fact you are seen as slightly deranged/irresponsible if you do question it. To be fair, while they expect very high standards from pupils, they put enormous efforts in to help them too.

Re: lardy-lady-ness, thank you but I'm afraid I'm already there I so agree about guests being more important than diets but I fear that is my downfall ...!!

Was absolutely boiled today because blouse didn't do up at front so had to wear vest under it. Then, because blouse was white and I'm huge of nork, I looked like a baker, so had to put slimming navy jacket on and that didn't look summery enough so then added scarf. The whole effect looked just about OK if you discontented my tomato red perspiring face!! I absolutely MUST lose weight!!!

Your muddy walk with elderflowers sounds lovely btw.

Sorry everyone, that was all very "me" "me" as usual. Will get back to Flying and proper round-ups shortly.

SC I am still smarting over ds1's 42 out of 80 in History. But rather impressed by his answer to "Why do these two secondary sources about medieval peasants differ?" To which he give the one sentence answer, "They differ because neither of the people writing the text books knew what it was really like to be a peasant"

We will be thin in no time at all! The first week is genuinely the worst; I have done this dieting lark before and it is easy once you set your mind to it, and don't try and starve yourself. I think that is the key. 3 good meals. Otherwise it is impossible to stick to a diet long term.

omg, the dog has gone, and I have done absolutely no housework.

todo
beds
kittens
dw
bring in milk
hoover two bedrooms
order dd's cardigan or I will strung up!

twins walk home by themselves now, so I have 10 mins extra.

Oh do fuck off with the appology about me me me post Sc said in nicest possible way of course Sometimes life overtakes us and we would explode if we didnt have a me me me moment. So no more appologies. it is wasted engery.

My mother always said that nothing teaches success than the taste of failure. It was certainly true in the case of my sister who used to coast through with A's with no effort. She failed one exam and sorted herself out because she didn't like it. I suspect that as the others have said that this will be a vital learning lesson for dd and that it has happened now is significantly better then happening when she is older. The fact that the schools do everything they can to help the students live up to high expectations is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with high expectations when properly supported.

Also, I am of the opinion it is better that ds learns young HE has to do his homework rather then i it for him. He is allowed to decide when he does it, and in some cases if it gets done. But he lets it slip then I impose screen bans and supervised homework screaming sessions.

Writing report. It is going to be a very very intense meeting later. I suspect I am going to need and a lot of it by the time it is done.

Toddlers was not a nightmare. Used DS as a distraction - he normally tries to pull at me and because I'm trying to foster independent play, I usually try not to go; today I was conversing with people, then let DS pull me away (but not mid sentence more at a natural point) and moved on to someone new with a backwards smile and a conspiratorial raising of eyes and a "sorry, he's being very clingy and needy just now". Felt great, I could avoid certain people other than a polite hello and smile.

Have come back to a lovely bowl of homemade soup; was brilliant.

Then I gutted the kitchen, tidied the living room so I could dust in preparation for a playdate tomorrow (arranged at toddlers!) so I'm all organised (more or less!)

Starting to not feel hungry now; although I do think I'm going to need a snack mid afternoon, so my stomach is adjusting.

SC sorry about your DD, if it's any help, I was much the same. My shock wasn't until secondary and was much harder to take, so hopefully now it'll be easier! And I agree with Bitchy, sometimes me posts are vital. Most of mine are all me!

Swan - I love your DS1's answer to the History question! (Is he the AS one, by any chance, as it is a wonderfully literal and logical answer). DS1 is a specialist in taking things literally, eg. when the woman from the LEA arrived yesterday and I asked him if he wanted to come into the other room with us, he replied, "No thank you". Then, when I said actually he had to come, he said, "Oh, was that a rhetorical question?"

Now, when you say the dog has gone... you mean it's gone home, right? Not that it's run off?

SC - Noel Whatsername says that it's good for children to learn that making mistakes is normal and we can learn from them; she suggests you point out to them that that is why pencils usually have rubbers. I didn't realise your DD was so young though. Poor thing . Sounds like a tough system.

Thanks for the tips on removing sticky stuff. I have already done the soapy water bit, so I'll have a go with WD-40, then, if that doesn't work, I'll try Carpe's suggestion .

Bitchy - best of luck with the meeting later.

It's pouring with rain outside and DS1 is begging me to take the neighbour's dog out . I have had to spell out as plainly as possible the reasons why we need to wait.

Meanwhile, I am tackling the kitchen drawer, which is now so full of clutter that it won't shut . I think I might need a 15-minutes-a-day approach.

Tech support at LEA have told me my laptop might be ok, but that I won't know for another couple of days. It is possible, though, that our brand new computer has just been destroyed . I told DH that I spilt the water as I knew he would be so cross if he knew it was DS1. He's cross with me too, of course, but I think I can cope with it better. DS1 keeps apologising to me, poor boy. It was just an accident. On the theme mentioned above of learning from mistakes, it has taught us a lesson, though - never leave any drinks near computers.

[Can anyone locate keys to naughty corner btw? Think Foad had them last ]

Right, how has everyone been getting on?

Whoknows did the hospital phone you re surgery dates or the other way around? Either way, hope it is good news for an early op.

Foad arf at gin and tonic cure for cramp!! I'm hopeless re technology but I'm sure others will advise about Smartphone choices - and I've seen threads on Mnsnet about them too under "geeky stuff" and "products".

Foad/Lauren Btw, we sound sort of the same shape/weight wise; what Trinny and Tranny would term "lollipops" (although atm I am now a "lollipop-with-apple-thrown-in" ).

Swan good luck with your new healthy breakfast regimen for your ds1 (musn't be easy with 3 dc to "launch" in the morning). Hope it's all coming together. It's great that you and the school can coordinate over this.

Oh and sympathies re: bindweed. Ours is taking over so much I've put strategically placed poles in border for it to grow up to faciliate removal. Only thing that seems to really work is painted-on Round-Up (glysophate) though which I'm trying to avoid because of bunnies.

And well done resisting food between dinner and bed. That's my weak point too!

Carpe your Wii conversation had me cackling Well done with garage scrubbing.

Kiwi I also have elderflower cordial envy! I will send you an invitation to join us on MFP once I have worked out how

Toffee I have been clearing cous-cous salad out of my keyboard today if it's any consolation.

Bitchy hope you have conquered report and arf at arses

Bitchy and Lauren well done re: walking and exercising respectively

Lauren one day I hope to be reporting "too much exercise" don't think it will be very soon though

Engelsmeijse sympathies re: being starving all the time. Ditto here. As you say, I think our stomachs have to adjust. Praying it won't take too long!!

Likelucklove thanks - at least it is possible/easier to "wing it" in the holidays with only one dc
Arf at "sweat is fat crying"

You sound on v. on top of things Whoknows - well done - and congrats on Premium Bond win!

Maggie how did the hair cut go today? And top Flying marks to your dh!

Hope you can have a well deserve pause in packing proceedings PA and enjoy the Festival! (That came around quickly again didn't it?)

Huge waves to Curlyfrizzball and good luck with continuation of mega-carrier-bag- sort. As I was reminded recently, decorating does cause much more upheaval than you think - esp with job/toddler - so don't be too hard on yourself.

Hope work went better today Blue and double arf at "carbtastic".

Great to 'see' you but no apologies necessary Castlelough. It's a busy time of year, particularly for you teachers. Don't know how you do it actually. BTW we have vritually same holiday dates here (Belgium). End of term shockingly close. BTW if you keep losing messages, make sure you tick 'remember me until I log out' when you log in, which may help. Re: control journal, sorry, haven't discovered pantry list yet woeful thread leader emoticon. Will search and get back to you. Anyone else know? And thanks for the excellent advice about baby-stepping the diets - I started off far too ambitiously and reality is setting in now!

Bum, handy-man here. Got to go. Will finish round-up later.

Body Clutter:
Maggie and Kiwi I will send you an invitation to join us on MFP once I have worked out how and if I can't, I'm sure someone else will oblige!

Waves to all.

Yes, work much better today, thank you, SC DS2 is at the CM again tomorrow so should get it all finished in time. Read through the last sentence I wrote and I haven't the least idea what it means but it sounds good!

I'm finding MFP very depressing at the moment, because I keep going over my calorie limit. I'm going to have to put some serious effort into reduced fat main meals!! My babystep is realising how much I eat normally, I think...

Toffee - I'm in the queue for the Noel Thingummybob book from the library - can't afford to buy another parenting book until I know if it's any good!

Um, flying, what's that? Nope. None here.

I just did a long post and lost it all So sorry for the lack of personals but I CBA now, laptops annoyed me too much!

I've had a CBA day very much like Carpe. Done the basics, not the mission since we don't have night stands. I will be better tomorrow I promise DD is teething so I'm sleeping when I can since even bonjela isn't helping. Must have been teething belly last week.

At least I did half an hour of zumba and kept well within my calories! Going for a walk to the doctors tomorrow as well to register.

Hope you all have a lovely night, will catch up from here tomorrow

Huge thanks for the encouragement, sorry for the absence, I'm making progress, but they are teeny tiny baby steps!
Thanks Toffee
LikeLuckLove good on you, esp not napping when the baby does, v tempting I find! Mine are 2.5 and 11 mths and bloomin hard work to entertain!
Whoknows that helps re hotspots, it's tough finding a surface that isn't one here but it is defo helping just being more mindful of what should be where and taking things with me when I go from room to room.
SC good idea, there is a neighbour that might be up for that idea, we're both looking for a bit more productive time so that could be a go-er looking after each others toddlers once a week.
As long as I keep noticing the stuff I'm getting done instead of what I'm not, given I keep ploughing on I might get the house looking a bit better, which would be a triumph and cause for celebratory . DD 2.5 has managed help with the odd thing her and there today too, but I have to be careful neither one of us forgets we are also potty training

Blue well done on the translating
LikeLuck lots of us don't do missions, I think the babysteps are the key and I haven't mastered them either

I am obsessed by this diet! (which is not a real diet as I'm not following any calorie control, or exercise counting) I am counting every hungry moment as Victory over snacking habits... For some reason I feel extraordinarily well, or could just be the long walk today. Lots of water, no sugar/alcohol at all, even stopped fruit snacks as they seem to set off a chain reaction. I am going treat myself to an enormous bottle of Perrier water tomorrow to pace myself.

House is dirty doggy, no Flying whatsoever, apart from laundry, and meal planning for one day children are in bed

we did
Guides
Football (screens)
run around the block
Staples visit for coloured cardboard
supper cooked
supper washed up
clothes washed, and drying, hope there are uniforms enough for tomorrow

Ds2 in another ranting rage at bedtime; there is such a causal link with telly that it would take a fool us not see that when he watches too much it sets him off bigtime. However, he went to sleep very quickly, from 10 - zero in about 10 mins, so that is something. A creature of habit luckily.

Toffee so sorry about the computer, how frustrating. No it was NT Ds1 who made the peasant remark. So far what has captivated him has been Blackadder, I think otherwise he doesn't seem to have learnt much

Round-up part 2:

Thank you again everyone for your v. supportive words over dd's test results today. (Hadn't read them all earlier.) And thanks for being so tolerant of "me me me" post Bitchy (Don't worry, I won't apologise for apologising )

Dh and I have just had a long chat about it and we reckon that there is some disconnect between dd and her work in class; specific cause difficult to pin down but either she is not focused enough/day dreaming about something else/coasting because she thinks she'll "get to it properly later" and never does or somesuch. Hence excellent results in class (even the tests) because she is bright, she can get away with short term memory test, having only half-absorbed the material. But long term memory test and she has been caught out.

But you are all quite right - better for all of us to have discovered this now rather than later. And a fundamental lesson to learn that she can't wriggle out - and has to buckle down.

How does one inculcate tenacity I wonder? By modelling it oneself I suppose wibble emoticon. sc looks shifty

Um, now where was I?

Glad your day got better Carpe and that you survived toddlers

Swan re: springy springer - casting my mind back, think you have to train them to sit (again) to greet. So main principles are, no eye contact, no petting or greeting from you unless their paws on the floor. So ignore dog basically until its calm, then you can stroke it and say hello in a non-exciting manner. Lots of useful stuff on Youtube if you do a search I know this because I'm using it atm to train my rabbits

Feetheart think I might nab your idea and use food as a bit of a motivator for my dh too (why this never occurred to me before I don't know). If it had, I needn't have employed a handyman!! Well done with all the baking/cooking. Arf at Dalmatian sauce.

Toffee very exciting news about imminent dog arrival! (And hope you can rescue keyboard) Oh and arf at rhetorical question. That's a classic! With a very polite 'thank you' too

Swan I would have given your ds1 top marks for that history answer!! (Also very impressed that he is already studying secondary/tertiary sources already. I only got to that at uni level.) DD got 0 for answering "a very important priest" to the question "who is the Pope?" RE teacher appalled!

Re: dieting, v. good to know that the first week is the worst. My stomach is making all sorts of wierd and wonderful gurgling noises atm.

Bitchy wise words from your ma and your good self about autonomy and success (or failure). Exactly what the deputy head said. It's got to be about dd doing it herself and suffering the consequences if she doesn't and appreciating the rewards if she does. Hope your survived meeting and you got the outcome you wanted.

Blue ditto finding MFP depressing. I don't think I have been under my calorie limit once!

So very impressed with you Likelucklove for managing to keep those calories under control and for the zumba-ing.

Huge waves to everyone else!

oh yes, and I took in the milk, and ordered dd's cardigan
Also entered into a devilish pact with Three for a Smartphone contract, as I already have 3 mobile dongle, A smartphone, I am very excited (so out of date I'm probably ahead) At last I will be able to internet on the bus!

x post, stage exit right.

xposts

Scruffy I think that's half the battle and why it's good to write ta da lists down here. You realise what you have done (which is often more than you think) rather than focusing on what's left undone (there never being an end to housework). Combo of 2.5 and 11 months must be hard going - esp. potty training too. So very impressed you are managing any baby-steps at all.

Swan great you are feeling so much better! (And very motivating for all of us too). Wonder if it's the water, or the lack of sugar. Or both?

carpe congrats for getting on wii at all. I,m too scared it'll shout at me!
sc hugs to your dd. It's horrid having exams at 8 even if everyone else does. She'll be flying through them at 16 tho' if she's learning these life lessons so young.

Done
Washing
Food
Decluttering boudoir x 35 mins
Long fast walk
Under calories for day on mfp!!!!!!

Can you believe it, Fledglings? We've nearly made it through another entire week.

Tomorrow's baby-step, number twenty-two, for Friday 22nd is here Build your control journal.

Tomorrow is the last day in Zone 4 - the master bedroom here. Try and declutter for 15 mins a day in the current zone. wish I could follow my own advice [sigh]

If your master bedroom is decluttered, you can progress to detailed cleaning

Tomorrow's mission (last one for this week) is spend 15 mins decluttering top of your dresser

The habit for June is drinking more water

The daily focus for Friday is decluttering your handbag and car

Kid's challenge here

If I've missed anything, it will be in tomorrow's flight plan

G'night all and see you in the morning?

[SC shakes padlocked doors of naughty corner. Still can't find keys ]

Foad Thanks s re: dd. It is hard for her. We are being cruel to be kind as this is where our life is. Also, being educated in two langs = double the work. No getting around it sadly. Going to try veyr hard to ensure she has fun this summer. Although just as we were leaving, her French teacher said she would set dd a little bit of work for the holidays, that she could post to her home address and she would mark and return. Was torn between extreme gratitude and sinking heart!

Oops. Just found this key whilst decluttering bedside table! Is it for my chastity belt? Maybe it's for the fridge...

Nighty night all