Fledglings “March” 31 steps away from CHAOS and mess towards domestic success...

[sanguinechompa]

... well, a shiny sink at least!!

Welcome to the March 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Linzer for steering us all through February - not a small achievement Linzer considering your school run/teaching commitments and with your dh travelling so frequently.

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, whinging (in my case anyway ) and support along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

Here you can, for one month:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here and here!

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

Hello Trying - you've come to the right place, we've all felt like this at times on here. I haven't got much time to chat now, I've got school run shortly as well, but if you've still got a bit of time left, why not just go round and pick up all the paper and make one big pile of it, I think that is the fastest way to make a visible difference. Then tonight, with a glass of wine or something, go through it and make three piles, recycle, shred and keep. You'll probably get rid of 3/4 of it that way. Small steps are what is needed. Back later.

Hi tryingtogetairborne you are very, very welcome here!!

I know from personal experience how a cluttered/messy house can get you really down. And I'm sure a pooing dog doesn't help!!

A good way out is to follow this system. It won't all get clean in an instant but if you follow the steps on here, you will feel more in control because you know that you will be tackling things bit by bit. And it stops that "rabbit in headlights" feeling because even if you don't get everything done on the first attempt in a certain area for example, you know that will be coming around to it again in a month or so.

You have two options:

(a) to just jump in where we are at and do the steps for today until end of week

or

(b) it might be easier to do a crisis clean first see here until end of week and then start afresh on the 1st April when the baby-steps will start again.

Any questions - don't hesitate to ask!

To everyone else: sorry - haven't managed to get back on here for personals - and am a bit swamped atm. Will try and catch up tonight!! Tally-ho [SC canters off, stage right ....]

Love your name!!!! I don't know either.

Sounds like a plan, will go and do it now...what does everyone do with drawings, the girls have a prolific output and I want to keep them all...!! In fact I do keep them all

Done. You know when you go round a room once, pick up all the paper. Then have to go round again to get the bits you missed... lots stuck on walls, had to leave some think a protest would break out otherwise. off on school run, now to work out what to do next as there is STUFF in the way of us doing something fun. And I need something to wear...

Welcome Trying.

You are among friends here. We understand. As for the pictures, I used to want to keep all my DCs, although with 5DCs I think I would have suffocated years ago with them all in the house. What I did was have one from each DC on the fridge at a time, then when a new one appeared it would replace the one on the fridge and that one would be either thrown or put into a box for special keeping. Every few months I would go through the box and sift through them to throw out again. I kept about one a month, then. You could also pass them onto family and friends, too as a "gift" from DC's if throwing them away is painful. My SIL always puts one in any cards she sends, too.

Just popped home to galvanize myself for the dreaded appointments!! Feeling very hormonal and wound up after a rubbish day at work. I think I will either burst into tears and embarrass myself totally (wouldn't be the first time I have actually done this) or will get very cross and argue with a teacher.

Ellie and Honu are you pleased that I am not coming to see you!!

We put some paintings up but recycle others. I do as PA says and keep them all in a box then when it gets full have a sift and keep the best bits. Crafty creations are worse, the DCs get more attached to them and they are harder to store.

Paintings = wrapping paper

Or I'm hoping they will at some point in time, when my DSs actually start doing proper drawings/paintings. At the moment they think a bit of scribble is art work

Welcome Tryingto - my house is in complete and utter chaos at the moment, a result of trying to juggle too many things and just not wanting to clean . Hmm, might join you in the crisis cleaning! You could always take photos of all the pictues, and just keep a few of the originals but you have a record of all of them then.

Ta Da
Beakfast for boys (pancakes)
15 minutes in kitchen
Attack ironing pile and sort clothes that have been dumped in the rooms...... (getting there slowly)
DS1 doing phonics

Hmm, that really is a pathetic sounding list.... but it was a big ironing pile!!!!

Waves to Tryingto - make yourself at home. This is the only thread on MN I know of with its own sun room and bar...

Good luck for the parents' evening PA!

Thanks for the bump SC - the other poster's suggestion of night terrors sounds possible, although nothing about them mentions shivering.

With the pictures, I recycle the random scribbles, stickings, colourings etc, stick up the best ones and keep anything half-decent in a folder. I haven't got to the point of looking back through the folder yet, but it's going to come soon!!

It's been an absolutely beautiful and largely child-free day here so
ta da!
Stripped beds
Washing done and dried
DH did the school run
DS2 and I did the dusting (he waved a feather duster around "waking up the shapes"...), incl. yesterday's mission
Furniture-moving hoovering in the sitting room
10 mins' ironing
Walked into town in the sunshine with DH and had lunch
Bit of shopping
on the patio - quietly!!
DH dealt with some paperwork
Boys collected, fed and in bath
Remade boys' beds

Now just got to get them to bed with less fuss than we've had since the clocks changed, and limit the number of cuddly toys DS1 takes with him, and remake our bed.

Waves to all, on the bar!

hey PA the sun room was very inspired. Much enjoyed it today! thanks.

Naughty corner bar is open and i have done fuck all

exceptfor2meetingsandsortingthecarout

List for tomo before early night:

early school run
empty car
car to garage
washing
finish moving haing wardrobe out
tackle basket of paperwork
tackle floor in my room
collect ds lunchtime
feed ds lunch
try not to kill anyone
find super glue for chicken's eyes
get ds to test the pens in the stationary box with view to killing off some
boot up old computer and assess
figure out something for tea
double check appointment for fri
collect car
get ds to wash car
ds' bedtime
early night
crochet for an hour or so?

hmm list is starting to get silly. time to stop. Have good evenings. night.

for all as needed!

Well, it was worse as bad as I expected. Yes, we had two teachers greet me with their heads in their hands shaking and rocking. Some of the nicer teachers comments were:
rather ditzy headed
she has her head in the clouds
the worse day dreamer I have ever known (this said by teacher just about to retire!)
Needs constant reminders to focus
Needs constant nagging
Inconsistent....well, more consistently inconsistent, really!
Sloppy

and some of the more truthful not so nice comments:
Basically pathetic
Basically failing at the basics
"I despair"

A long list of homework not done, work not completed, never has the correct books for lessons, is constantly late, disorganised, etc. etc.....

Oh Ellie what can I do??????? Do the teachers all think I am a crap mother who has bought her up to be like this. She is Number 5, the other 4 were nothing like this. Parents evening has always been a joy to be told what lovely children I have.
We try to do all we can!! We nag encourage incessantly, we always get her to do her homework which is written in her planner....... so her reaction to that is not to write it in the planner. According to her planner she has not had homework for the past 6 weeks.

Gave the "lecture" this evening. DId each teacher's comments in turn. One teacher was a liar, another doesn't like DD4, so would say anything, another doesn't know who she is, so how can she comment, another has got her mixed up with another child, another iss just wrong.......and so on, and so on. She just does not get it!!!! The common factor is herself. it is her fault!!!! Excuse after excuse!!! This is driving me insane insaner !!!!!

We have made her sit and complete some of the work that should have been in after Christmas!! Facebook is banned, her phone has been removed from her, she was not allowed out to Youth Cafe tonight, which she loves. But I know that any punishment will just be like water off a ducks backa nd nothing will change. Next year we will be paying a fortune for her to get a private education, just because that is our only option, but I dont want to pay all that money for her to be useless!!!

. Nothing constructive to suggest I'm afraid, secondary school is beyond me, but hopefully someone else will .

Will pop back after The Apprentice, not really concentrating at the moment.

Bugger, missing Apprentice too, DH is watching football and our other tv has been lent of mum and dad as their's is broken. Well, that just about tops it all!!!!

Has anyone volunteered to lead us into April? I don't mind doing it but will be away this weekend.

I feel for you PA, so much. How old is DD4? Has anyone suggested ADD or something like that? She just doesn't seem to be coping at school. How is she with the rest of her life?

Chez Honu, I have found the kitchen floor but the piles of stuff dumped in the lounge are still there, weeks later , and I just lack the will to deal with them - probably because I just can't think where to put them and it's just rearranging stuff into other wrong places iyswim. However - good news - builders have levelled ground and put down concrete and I can now order a shed. This will eventually mean I can stash some of this junk in there get my garden tools out of the coalshed and find the mower.

Right, i'm back.

Productivity slowed down a bit this afternoon, came home from work and went out for a run before school run time. Nice relaxing evening with the DCs though, DD went to Rainbows and they played nicely before and after. We are in the middle of making Easter outfits for school for Friday so the kitchen table has deteriorated into a massive craft hot spot, but never mind. We had to have our dinner at the patio table instead, which was nice.

Bitchy - what are you crocheting? I'm making a ripple cushion but haven't achieved much recently, going to go and do a bit before bed.

Blue - didn't get time to post on your other thread although I did glance at it. DD does this sort of thing, waking up agitated, sometimes shaking, sometimes sweaty, she gets bad dreams and talks in her sleep quite a bit too. Actually they both talk in their sleep.

Trying - I would do as PA suggests and go for a fresh start on the 1st. Maybe buy some bin bags and get ready for a bit of decluttering and think about what your top priorities are. Can't offer any advice about dog issues I'm afraid, I've never had one, but sure we must have some dog owners on here.

Chitchat - well done on the ironing, I have totally abandoned mine .

Right, need to go and sew a fluffy tail onto a pair of white leggings. Night all.

She's 14, year 10, Honu. Old enough to know better and to have learnt by now. She has always been the same. I don't think it is ADD as she doesn't "flit" from one thought to another, she just would prefer her head to be in fairy land than in the real world. Its not just at school, either. She has a huge amount of baggage from a very troubled first 3.8 years of life. We adopted her from a Russian orphanage at 3.8 years old. In a lot of ways she has done really well and we praise that side as mucha s possible, although she has always struggeled to be able to accept praise very well. I can't imagine her in any sort of job as an adult. I certainly wouldn't employ her!!! Perhaps there's money in science experiments when they want to see what brain activity is going on with someone who is totally in their own world! Anyone want to set up a science programme? Need a willing ditzy subject????

PA could it be that dd wants to be babied a bit? And not be grownup and organised at all? I suspect my ds1 is guilty of this too.
I have spent the evening sorting all the crumpled bits of paper in his bag into folders, reading between the lines in his homework planner, and trying to find out what he has, ah,"omitted" to mention. Today has been a fight to get him to sit down and do anything; I felt a bit guilty because it was such a beautiful day and I felt a bit cross that he was condemmed to sweat over tedious questons instead of usng his limbs. He has the attention of a flea unless he is interested in something, and kept breaking out with comments like, oh mum I see you are doing invites (dd) shall we do my invites (sorry what party is this?, I'm hungry....no, I don't have any more homework, oh music questions (medieval music in which he has very little interest), yes, no I don't have to do that after all, well since you ask, I've lost the book. Oh you've found the book, well I've done enough now, and it's not fair Ds2 is watching telly, why should he watch telly...?

trying I find just clearing things into piles (tidy piles) helps somewhat, even if one doesn't have strength to declutter. It is so hard, I was in tears by teatime!

done
filled in and delivered letter to Senco for ds1 (another one for the SEN with ds2 in tow by bus
failed miserably to visit sick friend, but I think he was moderately relieved to not have another visitor, and had someone there anyway
arranged world book day costumes (Mr Gum and Pippi Longstocking) much forward planning did avoid last minute raid of charity shop and long hot trek
supervised homework aargh
enjoyed getting Ds1 to recite some lines from Tempest, he likes that sort of thing...just not writing stuff about it all.... He has asked for boxed set of Animated Tales, (the Dvds unfortunately not the books)
picked up dh prescription
cooked supper
cleared up
helped at Beavers (feeling very very tired by this point - but it was great, we iced digestives and luckily only 14 of them..so much calmer)
Ds2 had tantrum about football match watching cessation

and my bedroom has been hoovered, and ensuite shone! well it's just a loo and basin but it feels moderately hotelly now.

Hi eveyone, since dp's redundancy my home has been invaded by clutter. He likes charity shopping you get my drift.

I'm on a mini strike and have been refusing to comply. It's bad. The hygiene is still ok, but clutter wise it's hell.

When I can find a proper keyboard I will elucidate further, but generally my problem is keeping order. There are.many hobbies, activities, interests and people to cater for and presently they're all jumbled up.

Hello my lovelies, hope you are all OK

Lots of chat to catch up ... sorry ... bit of a frantic day yesterday (and one ahead too). Dh away and one down in office. And dd with me for morning (bit of a major dental appt). Here are today's links anyway:

Today's baby-step no. 29 for Thursday March 29th is

introducing a weekly pamper mission in to your routines Don't neglect this one!! (After all 'Flying' does = Finally Loving Yourself which I know sounds horribly psychobabble-esque but really does help with the chores!!)

More info here I must admit, I quite like ones involving book shops and fresh flowers. And I swear by home pedicures now that I've seen a programme about beauty shops not sterilising equipment properly in between clients [yuck]!!

We are in Zone 5 (the sitting room) this week here. Detailed cleaning list included in that link if you are at that stage

Today's mission is removing smudges and fingerprints from walls and windows I think some of you are already on to this with your magic eraser thingies ...

Thursday's focus is errands

Today's reminders

Have a great day everyone!

Catch up:

Blue how is your little boy now? (And great that your dh is on hols atm) . Well done re: your productive day yesterday.

How?s the study going Bitchy? Great to ?see? you back in the swing ?good luck with your multiple lists. I think your idea of doing one reg element of homework in the morning is a really good one actually. DD sometimes catches up doing 10 mins or so before school and she is much brighter then.

Ellie hope literacy situation resolved soon for your ds (I won?t attempt to give advice because others on here much more qualified to comment + think it is taught differently over here anyway) Thanks for your thoughts on homework ?as a parent, i chuffing hate it? made me cackle!!

Chitchat hope you are surviving your intensive afternoon/evening routine! (I must admit I think with all that to do I would just cook extra of whatever the dc are eating and leave it for dh to sort himself for his supper!)

Whoknows respect re: your afternoon/evening routine too !!

Linzer > ?I think that if she's too young to be able to revise on her own, she's too young to be doing this kind of test/exam ? I could not agree more!! This is exactly the problem with dd. She?s not old enough at 8 yrs to organise timing/revision for 21 exams!! (OK ? some of them were things like gym, sewing, reciting poetry etc ? but most were written ? madness in my view!!)

Honu/Linzer/Whoknows thankfully not many opportunities over here for parents to do dc?s work for them as, as with Linzer, tis mainly written, not project work. It is difficult to judge the level of intervention though. You want to help your child understand something it patently doesn?t (and sometimes need to do this to enable them to start the hwk) ? but at the same time ? don?t want to mask the fact that she doesn?t understand it at school. Tis tricky. Also ? I think there are different cultural attitudes at play here too. For example, when dd was learning her tables a year or so ago, it was made clear that it was our responsibility to make sure she knew them.

Honu Huge sympathies!! I am also swimming in a sea of ? Things With No Home? (been ?camping? in a house that needs renovating, for past decade ? so no proper storage) Tis a bit of a nightmare isn?t it. But well done on finding your kitchen floor!! I wish you were available here to coach dd in maths btw ? she has taken against it big time ?

Scatty arf at ?youtube animation of Henry VIII using lego? !! Don?t these parents have lives???!!!

PA sorry the parents? evening was such a trial and that I wasn?t on hand to proffer last night? [Proffers strong coffee instead]
I have read somewhere recently (newspaper article I think) that day-dreaming /highly developed imagination = signs of high intelligence!!

Feetheart Spike Milligan?s poetry a great favourite in this household! (Hope you managed to oust Uncle Nesbit yesterday! )

How are you getting on Tryingtogetairborne?? (Can you allocate your dh a list of tasks ???)

Swan well done with your paper sorting [sorry you are still feeling drained though x]

Big wing flaps and ?hellos? to jifnotcif (Sorry if you are returnee to thread and I haven?t recognised you. I was away at start of year.) A warm welcome either way!! Sympathies over the decluttering. This might help.

Huge waves to everyone else!!!

Morning all. Thank you for all your advice re ds. And yes feet i think i am going to become one of 'those' parents. I suspect that ds may now have a red warning triangle above his name which indicates psycho teacher mother, beware. In the end i wrote a letter to his literacy teacher expressing concerns and requesting strategies we could put in place at home to help. Dsis is a primary school teacher so she is going to do an hour a week tuition with him ( i may be a teacher but literacy is not my thing). The letter was perfectly civil until i got to the point where i said that i had previously raised concerns but had been dismissed and that i wasn't let ds become another statistic in the school's failure to drive literacy standards up. Whoops. I requested a meeting 3 weeks after the holidays to discuss what strategies had been put in place in school to help ds and the impact they were having. To be fair, i am just impressed i didn't go straight to the head which is what i was tempted to do. They have a new one who is about 3 years old but appears to know what he is talking about. However, i would hate it if a parent went to my head before discussing the issue with me so i reined myself in. Are you proud. If nothing happens however i won't be held responsible for my actions.

pa let me reassure you that we teachers can spot a mile off the parents who don't give a shit and are shit and the parents who do give a shit and are not shit so please don't worry on that account. I am going to have a think about what i as a teacher would do about your dd and post later. She's 14 isn't she, year 9 or 10?

Welcome to the lovely lady who joined us yesterday. Am posting on phone and am crap at remembering names so i apologise but hello.

Better go. Am interviewing today so need to be there on time and looking half normal.

**

Next month's thread

Whoknows are you sure you don't mind volunteering - tis terribly kind of you - that would be great if no-one else is burning to do it and if you are sure you have time (I quake at your after school regimen!!)

I'm leaving in an hour for office/dentist etc and so won't be back on here til tonight - so will leave it for you all to sort out between yourselves

I am happy to carry on this weekend until next person takes over (think we are going away Mon or Tues) but best if next thread leader sets it all up so their posts are "in the green" as it were

Oh and don't forgot to mention "fledglings" in the title to distinguish us from other threads ... !!

other ¨"Fly" threads that is ...

x posts [hands strong coffee to Ellie Leaves pot brewing on stove for everyone else ...] Your letter to school sounds "smoking" (in a good way!!) Should snap 'em in to action anyway!!

I'll start a new thread tomorrow then. Might not be able to post Sat eve / Sun am but otherwise OK.

Anyone got any thread title suggestions?

April Fledglings, Fools we are not, Fly into Spring etc etc etc

WhoKnows - that's not lame at all, quite clever, actually!

SC - You've done a great job leading us this month, thank you!

Ellie - very restrained of you, well done! I'm keeping an eye on DS1 because the school has a very good report for literacy but not so good for math, and a friend who's DD has started Y3 in another school (it's an infant school) needs extra math tuition to catch her up to the rest of the class.

Jif - welcome! I agree with you, too me ages to call it Cif!

Swan - That is exactly why I?m trying to get DS2 to sit down with DS1 and do some colouring in scribblinso that they are both doing ?homework? together, and why I?m glad DS1 likes reading to me AND DS2 at bedtime. I?m hoping to avoid that exact situation.

PA - my goodness, if its one of the Russian Orphanages that wasn?t run properly, you have done so very, very well already. Kudos to you and your family!

Who Knows - Oh I?m so glad our school is not doing fancy dress on Friday ? DS1 really fights against it ? if the school does it as part of a costume they have far better luck than I do!

Honu - that?s how I feel, I?m just rearranging mess, not actually sorting it ? miserable, isn?t it?!

Bitchy - will get pictures of the finished WIPs?

Blue - jealous of your patio now, could do with somewhere to have a where I can?t see the mess!

After a bit of car juggling I have dropped DH?s car off to be MOTd and waiting to hear from them. Hoping DH can pick it up after work as otherwise it would require me driving both DS?s to the train station and catching a train to pick the car up, and DH taking my car home from station (he has both keys just in case!).

I have what is left of today and half of tomorrow to get this house up to spec to show BIL around ? which probably means ALL the rooms. Bloody hell ? going to throw things in a suitcase and shove in the garage I think.

Playground problem child?s mum has been glaring at me this week ? sigh.... and to think she used to be my friend. Un-bloody-believable!!

Got to run to do the nursery pick up now, BBL (to either receive congratulations on how well I?ve done or commiserations as to how pathetic I?ve been )