Fledglings “March” 31 steps away from CHAOS and mess towards domestic success...

[sanguinechompa]

... well, a shiny sink at least!!

Welcome to the March 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Linzer for steering us all through February - not a small achievement Linzer considering your school run/teaching commitments and with your dh travelling so frequently.

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, whinging (in my case anyway ) and support along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

Here you can, for one month:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here and here!

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

Laundry - , ironing, put clothes/towels/bedding etc away.
Make sure duvet cover is on (ds and mine)
water plants
paper work
Letter for school
check what is supposed to be happening tomo
print stuff for meeting tomo
Find super glue
Do some computer based prep for tomo's meeting

Done
meeting in next town
School run morning
load DW
Run DW
Air house
school run lunch
feed ds
Catch up with a friend
Afternoon school run
Dry load that is waiting to go,
Fold washing -done what was washed and waiting to be folded
Put two loads of washing on.
Start ardious job of emptying the office ready for painting.
Move hanging wardrobe onto temp rail ready for a clothing cull.

Clearing study is particularly ardious as it is like something out of a horror film in there. Floor to ceiling stuff and grown out of toys (later needing to stay for the mo so ds doesn't see them). Atm everything is just being moved. Needs to be done urgently. At some point need to go through an sort everything. Fucking hell.

Bugger me. It's a week night and i am posting! No bloody flying at all. Swamped with various things but mainly concerned about ds's progress at school in Literacy. I am going to ask you wise ladies for some
advice later but must finish dinner. Back later.

Wow, all this great advice about homework right while I'm butting heads with DS1 over it!!! He's only 5, but he needs to do reading everyday (loves it), practice his High Frequency Words everyday (doesn't mind, but gets a little silly with it) and phonics a couple of times a week (enjoys it once started but starting is difficult). I'm hoping that a routine will make homework something that he's used to, and so when he gets that bit more independent minded (like all your 8-9 year olds) it will be a habit for him.

But the routine is so intensive.... often looks something like this:

Prepare DS2 for pick up at 3 pm
Leave for pick up at 3.10
Pick up
Playground on the way home (this is actually really nice, as lots of his class mates also stop and he gets to play with them, and I'm getting to know some of the mums - only fly in the ointment is 1 boy and his mum)
Leave playground around from 4.10 - 4.30
Home 10minutes later (2 minute walk but DS2 is reeeaally slow by this time of day)
Start preparing DSs' dinner, while DS either plays with something crafty or does phonics
5.00 pm dinner
6 pm dinner finished (they really do manage to take this long most of the time -drives me batty)
30 - 45 mins playtime/toy tidy up
Bath time with toys
7.15 dressed in pjs
DS1 reads his school book to me and DS2 (and sometimes DH)
Story
Bedtime

So at 7.30 I start preparing dinner for DH and myself.....

No wonder my day vanishes!!!

Include in the day school drop off, then 3 days a week a nursery drop off and pick up..... talking to my DM and my DSis once a week each (they live on the other side of the world) an occasional coffee/lunch with a friend, a playgroup, and there's only dribs and drabs of days left.....

I think I'm going to cry.......

When ds was younger reading got done before school. he really was too tired after tea and it became a battle rather then a pleasure.
Ds now decides when he does his homework. But if he doesnt do it I get strict. Put timer on and after half an hour of messing about just write a note for his teacher saying he refused to do it. He then has to redo in school if the teacher decides.

Hi ladies,

Just flying by to give big waves to everyone.

As always, life is being a bit mad here. DD1's friend has been made homeless, so we now have an extra person in the PA household.

DD3's fiance has bought a motorbike. I have a real fear of such things after bad experiences as a teenager myself. I managed to calmly give him the talking to, about taking a very precious cargo on the back, explained why I had this ingrained fear. So, first trip out with dd3 on the back, I told him to phone me as soon as he stopped the engine the other end, so that I didn't worry. He duly humoured his nutty MIL2B phoned me. Given same instructions, to call me as they left for their return journey. Got the phone call, sat and waited im patiently. Should have been a 15 minute journey. I started pacing after 20 minutes, by 25 I was a wreck, by 30 I was outside listening for sirens. They arrived safely and I did a very good impression of a wailing banshee asked them very calmly why the bloody hell it had taken them an eternity a few minutes more than expected. Now I have told him I dont want to know. Ignorance is bliss!!

Right, the most dreaded evening of the year, tomorrow. Parents evening for DD4. Nightmare time, when I have to shake my head and sympathise with teachers who are saying exactly what I find most frustrating day in day out. I could write the script for every teacher......." Ahhh DD4's mum Well, DD4 is a delightful girl..........BUT she is such a daydreamer she does't listen, she doesn't take in what I say, she doesn't do homework < don't ask me for tips, they don't work with her!> " This is all normally accompanied with a head in hands pose and a vigorous shaking of the head.
Every year I feel I need to go so that I am not counted as a "couldn't care less" parent, but I secretly think these parents have the right idea.

That sounds very stressful PA - I'm afraid your post did make me laugh though!

ChitChat - getting DS1 to do his reading can be interesting - he loves it and is very good at it, but if he doesn't want to read the book, he just won't. I try not to stress about it though, because he is doing plenty of reading at other times so missing the odd book bag book here or there doesn't seem to do any harm.

Waves to Bitchy and Ellie.

We've just had an odd little moment with DS1 - posted a thread about it here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childrens_health/1437997-DS1-5-shivering-sweating-at-night-but-no-fever if anyone has any suggestions.

The fat fairy has some useful words on routines to help settle for homework - I have just found her site map which dispenses with the twee links and the 'flying with school age children' bit looks good. Agree with everyone who says you can't force children to do h/w, just facilitate it.

As a teacher I must just say that I want to mark work done by my pupils, not their parents. So often I see work that obviously has a vast amount of parental input, but challenging this is hard and time-consuming. How can I know a child hasn't understood something when they present an excellent piece of work? And how is the pupil going to learn to cope with studies later on?

Done
meeting in next town
School run morning
load DW
Run DW
Air house
school run lunch
feed ds
Catch up with a friend
Afternoon school run
Dry load that is waiting to go,
Fold washing -done what was washed and waiting to be folded
Put two loads of washing on.
Start ardious job of emptying the office ready for painting.
Move hanging wardrobe onto temp rail ready for a clothing cull.
water plants
check what is supposed to be happening tomo
More laundry
Finish chickens - must find super glue.
Finish stuffing elephant
Watch fast five
yet another load of laundry

Have drunk way way too much coffee so will probably be up for hours yet.

Expect another list.

Or 4

Chitchat - sounds as though you have your evening well organised even if it is quite relentless. However it seems to get worse as they get older, well it does if they start doing many after school activities, I find it a struggle now that between them they do at least one thing every night Monday to Thursday (sports club, ballet, Cubs, Rainbows, tennis all with associated uniforms etc, luckily all within half a mile of home) then theres music practice, writing/spelling for two of them, exercises for DS (occupational therapy, hopefully yours won't need that) as well as some chill out time for the DCs, go to the park etc and we are starting to think about our dinner at 8.30. If we are lucky. However, we manage to eat with the DCs quite often now, or I do and DH has his when he gets home. I do feel as though my feet don't touch the ground and wonder how on earth those with more than 2 children cope, also those with longer working hours than me, I only work 3 short days thank goodness. The plus side of after school activities is getting a bit of separate time alone with just one DC, which is nice and is a good opportunity for homework etc

Honu - what age do you teach? My DCs are Yrs 3 and 1, I do get irritated when there's a homework involving making stuff as DD (Yr 1) proudly gets on with it and works really hard to do hers all by herself and then you turn up and see these professional looking creations being carried in by parents that can't possibly have been all the child's work, or anything like it.

Anyway, today:

Ta-da!

Morning routine
School run
Washing on line
Detailed cleaning (more magic eraser on the skirting boards) - done
Work - luckily quite quiet at the moment.
School run
After school routine
Play, make Easter costume for mufti day on Friday, tea for the DCs
Take DS to Cubs and DD to the park to play with friends
Home
DH and I eat dinner while DD watches a bit of telly
DD ready for bed
DS back from Cubs
Reading etc with both
Bed for both
Sort clean washing
Organise school gardening club for this week
Sew 3 Cub badges on (he's just started)
Filing

I need to go to bed. Now. Night night.

Morning all,

Have been reading the discussions about homework with interest, as it's a bit of an issue here as well. Between DH and me too... Honu, I agree 100% with what you say and am constantly trying to tell DH the same, but he says no, homework is to practise and reinforce what you've learned in school and it must all be perfect. Children here don't get projects etc. like they do in the UK - it's all writing (basically German or maths) so a parent can't actually do it for them, but DH will get DD1's (he doesn't bother so much with DD2 as she doesn't have any problems at school) books out of her bag, go through all her work, correct mistakes and even her handwriting, etc.

Was talking to a friend about this the other day who seemed to have a slightly more sensible attitude. However, she also said she goes through her DD's homework afterwards and makes sure it's all correct so maybe it's the thing to do here. Getting DD1 to revise for tests is a nightmare as well - she's basically incapable of revising on her own, so DH will spend hours with her (and also ages photocopying pages from her books, tipp-exing out words for her to fill in, etc.). I think that if she's too young to be able to revise on her own, she's too young to be doing this kind of test/exam - although I don't know whether DH has to make more effort with her because of her dyslexia than other parents do with their DC.

WhoKnows I sometimes wonder how we'd cope if the children were out of school any later/we had British school hours (the DDs are home by 1 pm at the latest) as it's a real struggle to fit everything in here too. The DC do have quite an early bedtime, though (ideally around 7 pm, although often later) as they have to be up at 6.45 am and they're always tired when they get up (I have to wake them), so I don't feel I can put them to bed much later.

[Stumbles, groans, props eyes open with matchsticks]

Sorry everyone - overslept - back in a mo with steps!!

**

Today's baby-step no. 28, for Wed March 28th is

all about looking after ourselves

We are in Zone 5 (the sitting room) this week.

Detailed cleaning list here if you are at that stage

Today's mission is hoovering in to the corners!

Wednesday is anti-procrastination day ie kicking Uncle Nesbit in to touch!

Today's reminders!

tips related to flying with school age children as kindly pointed out by Honu!

Keep going everyone!

Sorry to have missed all the chat on here again last night. I never seem to be around at the same time as everyone else atm - apologies!

Got to get going - dh travelling again - but will be back later for personals

coffee, freshly squeezed oj and danish pastries available for all in naughty corner. Help yourselves!

Aaaah homework. Must have missed that when i flew by last night. I have two point of view here. As a parent, i chuffing hate it. My life is a little like whoknows of an evening. I don't pick the dc's up from cm/finish work until 5 and by that time ds is already grumpy. He has literacy/numeracy plus spellings plus tables plus reading. I don't do it for him but do help if necessary. The one thing that really getse goat are these things caled Learning Logs. He has one to do every two weeks on a different topic. His. Teacher does not even mark them and sometimes he spends hours on it. Grrrr.

As a teacher, albeit secondary, i agree with everything honu has said.

We are having real issues with ds with his literacy at the moment. I raised concerns at the end of Year 3 that he wasn't making much progress but was told he was coming on fine and no need to worry. Fast forward and at parents evening on monday we saw his maths teacher and his literacy teacher. It was like they were talking about 3 different pupils. In Maths he is flying, working at a Level 3b (national average), nearly a 3a, bright enthusiastic works hard. In Literacy,he lacks confidence, is withdrawn and doesn't always try his best. He is still working at the same level he was at in Year 2 and has, on paper, made no progress at all. In 5 years of schooling, no-one has ever said that ds doesn't try his best and alarm bells are ringing. Particularly when the school's OFsted report says progress in literacy fails to match that in Maths. They are completely failing to engage him and he doesn't think he can do it? Any advice on where to go next. I know us teachers make the worst parents but i am not willing to sit back and let him fail.

Sorry for the essay. I know this is a flying thread. Haven't done any though.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. why is morning so early and how the fuck do i manage to sleep through 2hrs of an alarm ringing every 10mins???????

so tired. Even went to bed at reasonable ime too.

*time

hands a to PA for later.

Linzer I'd love it if the DCs went to bed a bit earlier, but 8.30 up at 7.30 seems to suit them very well so we're stuck with it. This week is a bit easier as ballet and tennis finished last week so we've only got Cubs and Rainbows. Cubs night is hard, DS doesn't get back till 8.30 and he's still raring to go, needs half an hour to wind down, have milk etc and of course DD doesn't want to go to bed till he does either.

Ellie - grrr, for you and DS. However, this happened in Year 2 to DS with literacy, the teacher in that class it turns out is well known for this strategy of giving everyone a shock over literacy at parents evening, she is also the best teacher in the school and turns them round in no time, so all may not be lost. We came away reeling and feeling just like you from his first parents evening but it turned out to be the best year he's had yet. Maybe go back to the teacher and ask for more specifics on what he needs to improve on and ask how you can help, what they are going to be doing to help, what are his specific targets, then maybe turn what he needs to do into an enjoyable task by incorporating a topic he likes doing (my DS will write out stuff to do with football but not much else for example).

Ta-da!

Up, DCs dressed, packed lunches etc, school run
Swish and swipe
Sink shined
Washing on line
My packed lunch made
Phone call made
Hot spots cleared
Kitchen floor swept, need to do lounge on way out
Need to think about dinner and do an Ocado order at some point.

Just off to work now, see you all later.

Morning all .

PA Good luck. I also dread parents eve. DS tries hard but is at the very bottom of the bottom sets in everything . DD is probably average ability but doesn't try at all . I don't know which is worse.

whoknows I hate project type homework too. At half term DS (y4) had to make/do something to do with TUdours, he managed a reasonable collage type picture with minimal help. One 'child' produced a youtube animation of Henry VIII using lego . We gave up after that!

Today:
Asda (party food)
hoover/mop
laundry
phone council
clean BR
Rainbows/cubs

Last nights concert was fantastic , although DS looked rigid with fear all the way through!

woke up to lovely spring morning and Oh joy, no getting up early to get ds1 to school, as he's on strike...For some reason this was enough to make dh and I feel we were on holiday

However, I am now in a very disorganised state -
scatty glad concert went well.
ohno, recycling van..

Hello lovley fledglings

So sorry - no time to stop and do personals (working) but just wanted to say to Blue - that I've replied to your thread - don't have any expert advice but wanted to bump for you. Well done to your ds1 for winning poetry competition too!!

Back later everyone!

Waves to Ellie Bitchy Linzer PA Swan Scatty whoknows et al!!

... and HOnu (sorry!)!!!

BBL

I don't know what happened yesterday but it definitely didn't include housework. I think I am swimming in a sea of Things With No Home and sometimes they just take over. I have fought my way to the sink and done the washing up but there's still a long way to go .

I teach maths to all ages - currently youngest 8, oldest in early 50s. One tutee (yr 10) was booked in by his grandmother (who I think may be paying) as 'X is a bright boy but hates maths'. Confirmed by X's attitude at first lesson! All he needed was a bit of help and he is now really enthusiastic and way top of his group.

Literacy - not my speciality so only a mother's view here - just get them enjoying what they are reading, lots of reading to and with them of things you think will engage their interest. If they find reading difficult, joint reading with them. Make it a pleasure (NOTHING to do with school, of course!). DS2 went through an entire Famous Five book making a tally chart of how often the names Julian, Dick, George, Anne, Timmy appeared - entirely his idea I hasten to add!

Am using timer to limit mn time so must go.

ellie - time to make yourself into one of 'those' parents I feel.
I have had to do this for DD (also Yr4) this year re literacy and book band levels. I know its a MN clique that all our children are reading Shakespeare in Reception but found out DD's assessed reading level at end of Yr3 was 1 1/2 levels higher than the stupid school book level she was on - no wonder she was frustrated!
Had to push teachers (she had 3 different ones before Christmas - different thread entirely!) to acknowledge this (not hard) and actually do something about it (much harder) as DD's confidence was getting knocked. Did get it sorted in the end but it took me to keep on and on about it before it happened.

I second a meeting with teacher to ask what they plan to do, what they suggest you can do to support DS, etc.
Then look around at where you can get him involved in literacy at home without him noticing - writing shopping list, cooking with you and on his own-will have to read and understand recipe, writing list of what he wants to do over Easter holidays, etc plus lots of different reading to him - we have just discovered reading poetry to DC and they are loving it. Spike Milligan, Roger McGough, Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes etc the sillier the better. Then try and add your own bits :)
Baby steps to make literacy fun.

Hope I'm not trying to teach you to suck eggs?

Chitchat - we often do spellings and words on way to school - DS (Yr1) scooters off with me shouting a word at him and he whizzes round shouting back the spelling. God knows what other people think but its a game now and gets it done. Used to skip across the park to school with DD reciting times tables in time to our skipping when she was in Yr2 - I am 5'10" and not the most coordinated!
Actually neighbours must just accept that we are bonkers :o

I am procrastinating MASSIVELY. I should be working but am doing everything else but.
I should get on...biscuit first though............

Hi all.

As you can see from my name, I'm struggling. Had Flylady book since 2008...4 years on still in chaos. I blame it on my plastic sink...it just won't shine.

I just don't know where to start. I have two dogs, one of whom has pooed on the living room carpet twice in two days. The other just wee's when she wants. I think I need a new carpet . House is full of clutter. Both my girls have a birthday next month so more toys in house. I do keep decluttering but it just reaccumalates, everytime they come back from school and preschool another wave of 'stuff' comes with them. The car is cluttered too, even though I keep decluttering everyday...where the feck does it all come from? Bloody paperwork (mine and there's) all over the place. I just do not know where to start. Have started at sink before and it just clutters up again. No one helps, dh just makes critical comments and refuses to do anything as he doesn't know where to start. Even if i do make an improvement he says he hasnt' noticed.

Anyway, to sum up, I'm in despair and just feel so depressed and under the weather with it all, just give in before I start everyday. Go to school run in one hour. And house is barely touched. I've had an hour at least spare to do something but do nothing instead. Rambling now...any words of help/encouragement anything welcome.

Thanks for reading so far