Fledglings “March” 31 steps away from CHAOS and mess towards domestic success...

[sanguinechompa]

... well, a shiny sink at least!!

Welcome to the March 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Linzer for steering us all through February - not a small achievement Linzer considering your school run/teaching commitments and with your dh travelling so frequently.

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, whinging (in my case anyway ) and support along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

Here you can, for one month:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here and here!

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

Sorry forgot to say how much I loved the flying competition on Friday. Wish I could join in. [wistful]

Eh up fellow fledglings ...[flaps wings encouragingly]

Everyone is very busy this morning I see ...

Thumbscrew time here - me for boudoir purge/tidy & more laundry - and dd for exam homework (again). She is looking very white after her late night (bad mother emoticon) as she never, ever, sleeps in in the morning if she can help it.

However, lovely, mild, bright, sunny day here ...

Off to church in a bit (hope there are going to be no rants from the pulpit about gay marriage or I am going to have to walk out - imo there are so many profound injustices in the world they should be focusing on other than two people loving one another - but heigh ho).

Then off to Irish cob show (yippeeee!!!)

A very warm welcome back to cq.

As others have said, I love your expression >"Clutter is once again lapping at the shores of my sanity" ... very poetically put!! (I'm up to my ankles in it too btw) That David Allen book is one of the best organisational books I have ever read (especially the bit about what you need to set up an effective office). Good luck with getting back on track!

Swan hope you are in one piece this morning and managed to get a bit of shut eye during the night!! (Good to know there is organisational light at the end of the tunnel for dd around 10 yrs btw!)

Toffee so good to hear your ds1 enjoyed his sleepover ... he so deserves to have fun with his mates after all his struggles

Nettie well done with the fund raising and good luck putting your mil's house to rights!! Hope the builders hurry up at your house!! And lovely news about your friend!!

Honu hope you have a better day today!

Thanks for tea Blue poor you - sounds as if the reaction you suffered was really bad, but glad it is starting to get better.

Hope you and JWIM have lovely family day

Whoknows if my memory serves me correctly, you are running a half-marathon today - good luck - hope it goes well

Linzer hope you are starting to feel a bit better

Flaps wings at Bitchy and everyone else ...

Have lovely Sundays one and all!

Linzer - hope you?re feeling better today. Tummy bugs leave you feeling so weakened because of lack of any nutrition.
Swan - your home must look so much nicer with new curtains.
SC -goodness, if I had to clean the office as well as home I would feel completely hard done by! And sorry, my DSs are rapidly working their way through the pumpkins scones!!!
Linzer - Ooooh, I hate no shows! Some people really are thoughtless.
MsU - so sad about your cat.
WhoKnows - The ?SN stuff? must take a lot of time and energy, so much for you to deal with.
Honu - there is something about hairdressing mirrors. The number of times I thought my face/skin looked ?ok? at home but looked ghastly at the hairdressers.... yikes!
NickNacks - ooh , passports. Thanks for reminding me! Must get DS1?s and my Aussie passports renewed and apply for our Brit ones.
Toffee - what is it with DHs? I really HATE that they go all helpless when ill. I am so unsympathetic to DH, apart from my last bout of bronchitis I have NEVER had help with the DSs when I?ve been ill. Yay for DS1 and the sleepover! What a good sign.
Blue - that sounds awful! Must be really hard when there?s a list of antibiotics you can?t take! Have they worked out if there?s a common factor to them?
cq- welcome back, it feels like such an uphill battle, doesn?t it?
Coost - what a great fundraiser, well done!
Feetheart - good luck with the half marathon
Life- Not going to do another ?competition? in the very near future, twas exhausting!!! . Did get me motivated though! Hope your chest keeps improving. Nursery committee duties take a lot of time, don?t they?! We?re working out whether to update our nursery constitution or to incorporate at the moment ? lots of discussions (?!), as well as the normal fundraising.

Went to good friends last night for dinner (the friend who looked after DSs when I was sick) and some scrabble, we usually put the DSs to bed there and then pack them up into the car at the end of the night, but last night DS2 was sick just before we reached them ? cue bath and lots of cleaning up! I was really hoping it was just an upset tummy but this morning its all happening on the other end . Really annoys me, obviously picked up a tummy bug from a child at the nursery. I usually always make the effort of making sure I see the 48 hour period through before taking DSs back to nursery/school but clearly hardly anyone else does , or the DSs wouldn?t have caught so many blooming stomach bugs this year!!!!! - easy to hide when at nursery for only 3 hours I guess

So DS1 and DH went off to church this morning and DS2 is watching Bolt, curled up under a blanket. Given me a chance to do a bit of catching up with this thread!

Will use the time to get a few jobs done now, like ironing those shirts...

x post

LifebeginsatForty Good to hear you are feeling better but sorry you don't have more of a chance to recuperate next week. Take it steady (where possible)!

Thanks for helpful advice about reward chart. I do lay all her school uniform out the night before from underwear to hair accessories (one of our "ishews" is that I am trying to get her to do this for herself) and (in this partic case) I knew that she had dumped her coat/hat/gloves/scarf on her bedroom floor and reminded her about it four times [grrr] [sigh] but I wasn't going to go up there and get it for her!!! Going to go with personalised reward chart and start protecting her less from consequences of forgetting/losing/procrastinating! However, one of the difficulties is that dh and I are on different pages about this. He would happily deliver stuff to the school four times throughout the day if she had forgotten it - being a mean Mummy, I've made it clear that I won't. And so the poor girl is a bit confused methinks [muddled parenting]. Anyway, going to do chart today and see how it goes.

Got to go - late for church!

Have peaceful Sundays eveyrone!

SC I'm going to ask you to give a very honest answer. When you were a little girl can you remember hanging up your clothes and organizing your stuff? I can remember enjoying making little arrangements when the fancy took me, but I have to say, I was the untidiest "freeranging" child. My mum never organised my homework books, I think I remembered them because I had to (strict private school)I suspect most children have better things to do than be tidy alas, especially with the quantity of stuff modern children possess (it was easier in the old days when we had so few toys and used up all our energy walking 5 miles to school..

Sometimes it feels so aggravating to wait hand and foot on children when they don't seem to notice or appreciate all one's efforts. |But I suspect for them it comes out of the blue that they should help, they are actually thinking of other things - sealing wax and etc-- entirely...which is probably good.. I made her lay the table for her friends this morning, which I don't think she expected. And she has been v helpful gettign things ready yesterday too.

So I think a combination of involving oneself a bit- and expecting low standards- grateful for small helpful acts, plus a bit of leaving her to suffer consequences will probably do the trick. It has with dd certainly. Who now desperately wants to iron her own clothes. And the more I boss dd around the less practice she does, certainly

I am EXHAUSTED by the sleepover, which probably means I need to do it differently next time. They were up seven and went to bed finally at 12.30ish!!!Firstly there is something in this house which set us all off wth itchy eyes ( I have it too) either Mr Sheen or the newish Ikea rug. Not the dog, as everyone has dogs already... Secondly, 4 guests is too many, when you have a angry ASD twin trying to join in - although Dh settled him with other activities from 8.30pm . However, I think guests had a good time. Thirdly, you can rely on all visitors to NOT eat the food you think they will eat. Wrong bread, wrong jam, don't want boiled eggs, milk tastes funny....?????Dd looks white as a sheet now from too little sleep and too much excitement.

DH has taken boys off to London Transport open day at our local depot (model railway heaven - I wish ds1 showed an interest in modelling but he doesn't) Dd is lying on the sofa recovering, and I think I will join her..

Also I am ashamed to say, no Reward chart has ever worked in our house consistently. They take a lot of input. Perhaps if I had done them when kids were younger. I think straightforward timetables with no specific rewards are possibly better with older children. Dd certainly likes writign things in calendars.

SC I often find those rants in church quite helpful in making me think clearly. In a way it helps me formulate my own conscience. There is a lady I know in Ireland who lost one 24 year old son in a car crash and the second went off to live in Amsterdam to work in medical research and has recently married [a man] She was in agonies about the whole affair (rural Ireland, gossip, Catholic), but all became clear to her what her reaction should be when she thought to herself, I can't lose another son.

Right my task for today is
make egg mayo sandwiches for lunch
wipe table
wash floor
hoover playroom
read story to dd

History department has finally marked Ds1's workbook going back to October last year. Lots of As and "this could be neater" - "improve your presentation" comments

Nettie it sounds a nightmare in your MIL's (sorry hope I have right one) house. I feel like you in anyone else's house now, there is so much to damage and break...As a family we seem to be on an Attila the Hun setting..

Strange though I can remember being in my granny's house and turnign the bathroom lino into a skating rink

How are governor duties going?

lifebegins "I was going to be all evil, and ask what would happen if you just whisked her out of the house on time regardless of having the right equipment or not [evil grin]" I have done this with ds. If you do get dressed you go as you are. tunring up to pre-school in pjs even when you are 3 is sooo not cool. We have a strict you take your consequences rule here. homework is now timed and he does to the standard he thinks is suitable his teacher deals with it. We are still working on this but he is learning and tbh whilst there is still agro it is a lot less then the constant nagging/reminding.

Swan glad you survived the sleep over. Reward charts don't work here. only consequences.

Nettie hope you survive in one piece. just one more week left...

Chitchat i wish i could leave the long list thing behind. Going to need another one on monday

waves at the other fledlings

Right list for today:
ds' literacy homework
shopping - new school shoes (old ones finally grown out of and basically now falling apart), electrical cable, photo album,
wash kit for tomo. (must do this asap as it wont be dry otherwise).
print all of ds' homwork out and put into his bag.
pin ds down and get him to read his stupid school reading book .
Use internet to find answer to ds' obscure question. computer game related
early night.

I also need a list for tomo (Monday):
Load of washing on
early training - remember money owed.
school run
wash bedding (my bed)
try to sort and clear one box from storage
tidy bathroom floor
wash/bleach bathroom floor
wash/bleach cloak room floor
tidy clutter away from landing
tidy and sort box of clutter from landing
hoover landing.
clear bath/sink/toilet
file paperwork
tweak cv and write application letter and email
clear a box of storage from my room
lunch time school run
feed child lunch
Water plants
get ds to write last outstanding thank you note.
Book doctor's appointment
wash kit + work on clearing washing back log
folding
Take rubbish out
Take recycling out

must stop here otherwise monday's list is going to get stupid

Must add mad panic tidy and clean to list. In laws are hating their holiday and flying home tomorrow

Have already rung the conservatory bloke about a new clip. Got to tidy up. They not moving back in the going to stay in a caravan and then go off to Norfolk for a few days and hopefully enjoy themselves.

This revelation came after I had a major meltdown about not wanting to stay here any longer with feral children getting up and shouting/screaming sunce 6am, running amok, making mess, jumping on couches and generally being children.

Have taken them out to playpark before anymore customers come to the door and hear them screaming

It's lovely at the playpark (inhales deep breaths and thanks the sun for coming out) leftover pizza picnic and I'm feeling a lot calmer.

Perhaps if I run them ragged I will be able to get on with tidying up the house to make it presentable!

Sorry no personals I'll be back later.

Morning
Got up at 7 and had the luxury of going back to bed at 10:30 until 11:30

The Brad Pitt of washing lines has got 4 loads on it already with another in the machine, too good a day to leave any washing unattended

MIL is looking after DS so DH is doing some manual work in the garden and I'm just... Relaxing

Tomorrow we are going to Paultons Park as its been 3.5 months since we last went to Peppa Pig World... DS has withdrawal symptoms

Love having annual leave but mustn't be lazy for too long...

Hello, sorry to have gone AWOL, overtaken by life.
Within the 1st morning I made it back on my feet, we had a bit of a family drama and I had to go and pitch in. In between that, de hoarding other house, (found floor and windows in two rooms) and then son?s 1st science module results coming in (not good) and trying to convince him that his dreams aren?t automatically over, we?ve barely been home, or not in total meltdown, and no chance to do any flying in my own home or come here. It?s just been madness, but hopefully some sanity being restored by this evening.

Have just skim read what?s been happening with everyone else, but re SEN statements and those off to meeting, (struggling to keep up with who is) apologies for not saying this before:
after having to fight our way through, then once there, discover our hard fought for statement was unfit for purpose and diverted real help whilst taking the funding, I had to learn how to write ours and self represent through tribunal.

So? I now help re-write statements, make them meaningful, and assist parents with tribunal cases for one charity, and mediation for another one, and while I?m afraid I?m not terribly good at the emotional support side of things, unless you have ASD, (surrounded by mainly AS folk for a long time and swear it?s ruddy catching!) but have skills in understanding, hole and problem spotting, solidifying, and matching up the vital parts of SEN statements: 2, (needs) 3/1 (Objectives) 3/2 (provision to meet needs and objectives) 3/3 (Monitoring) if it helps any of you to know someone who does this stuff or you come away wanting clarification over that side. (Don?t worry if parts and no?s don?t make sense now, they will later :))

Apologies for not going into this before, but for all my knowledge and work, like everyone else we still have struggles maintaining our statement in the current financial climate, and I desperately didn?t want to jinx our wildly legally overdue renewal. (now here)

Toffee I believe Labradoodles are suitable for people allergic to dogs as well as being good all round dogs.

I?m rushing out for shopping before it all shuts, as everything?s gone off here, but hope to be back later.

Swan - sleepovers are completely exhausting, I agree. They never sleep! DS1 still hasn't returned from his. I'm hoping that he's been out walking his friend's dog, but he may just be glued to the computer screen.

Bitchy - your list makes me want to go back to bed. It's Sunday! You're meant to be having Family Fun Time !

coos - sorry that you are having anything but a relaxing time at your in laws. How awful for them that they hate their holiday so much they are coming home again .

Mummy - good for you going back to bed! Hope you have a lovely day out tomorrow.

JustGetting - sorry you have had such a hectic time. And poor DS. Thanks very much for your offer of help on statements - you may find three of us taking you up on that! I go through all sorts of plans in my head for helping DS1 and my current one is that he might do well using an online school, such as Interhigh. Maybe a couple of years of that, plus a dog to look after and a few friends to play Minecraft with, might give him confidence and maturity to tackle school in Year 9. But if I home ed, would I still need a statement ? Or would I have to wait until he's going back to school? Have no idea what to do next, to be honest, but I'm hoping this course on Tuesday will clarify things for me a little (and I'm looking forward to meeting two of the fledglings of course).

Re: labradoodle - yes, I'm looking into them. There's a website that says they are not necessarily good for people with allergies , but it makes the sensible suggestion that you should spend time with the dog - or its parent - before committing to buying. I know labradoodles are good for children with autism, so I would imagine they'd be good for DS's anxiety issues. Apparently, you can get little ones too.

Just back from a lovely time in the countryside with DS2 - making potions out of leaves and blossom, making shops out of leaves and logs, etc. It's such a gorgeous sunny day. DS2 was in a very happy mood. He's now in our newly tidied garden, chatting to himself, digging and playing, whilst I drink tea and check MN threads catch up on jobs.

Must go and print out the letter from the workshop. What are we meant to be bringing with us?

Have no idea why that all printed out in one long paragraph. I put double spaces in .

Afternoon all,

Toffee - one of my friends has a 1 year old Labradoodle, he's gorgeous but quite a handful. Another friend has just homed a retired greyhound, that would be my first port of call I think (from what I recall of where you live the greyhound rescue probably isn't too far away). My friends greyhound is gorgeous and very laid back.

Just - you may well find me asking for help on the SEN front too. My DS is actually coping pretty well at the moment (Yr 3, AS) but I think he will need more help the older he gets, at the moment I think I would struggle to get a statement but it's knowing when to time it all, application for assessment, private assessments, private therapies (he needs SALT and OT), I would like he to have a statement by the time we have to choose a secondary in 2 yrs. I have a friend who got her DS statemented fairly easily but has had a real struggle since then and just won a place at special school for him via tribunal, so she is also a great help. I dissect complex documents for a living, so hoping that skill will come in handy.

Swan - some wise words about DCs and motivation.

Got to go, need to get the potatoes on for roast dinner later.

Loads of people complained to Tech and the paragraph problem is meant to be resolved now.

Testing.

Testing.

Ah, that's better.

WhoKnows - ooh, I don't want a dog that's a handful! Several people have recommended a greyhound. I think it would be too big for our house, to be honest, plus I don't like them that much. I prefer slightly scruffy, cocky-eared, terrier types.

From what I gather, the sooner you get a statement the better. We were told that it would be much harder to get a statement for DS1 now that he's in secondary and it would have been better if we'd had a statement for him at primary, although I've also been advised that that is just one of the off-putting lines that SENCOS tend to say.

It's good that you are used to dealing with complex documents. We might be calling on your help too! (I could proofread them!).

Mmm... roast dinner sounds yummy.

Hi all. Have been MIA again.

swan brave woman for hosting a sleepover. I'm stressed enough trying to organise a 2 hr craft party at home in 3 wks.

toffee sounds like a lovely afternoon .
just gettingon hope you get back to normal soon.
mummynic I like the sound of a Brad Pitt washing line .

Hi everyone else.

Just back from DDs first ballet/tap show. It was lovely. She clearly loves the stage . Dh and DS have gone hillwalking (hope they're ok, have been gone a long time).

Done:
clear up after last nights guests
laundry
ironing
hoovering
dusting

Stupid arsing cunting tesco Store improvements my fucking arse. Making store completely unusable whilst depleating the stock that is actually want because some fucking idiot in head office is a prick doesn't like it

Ta da list:
increase blood pressure signifcantly whilst escaping from ds and trying to calm down so i no longer want to kill him.

To do:
see earlier list for sunday.

renew my spirit my sodding arse. i hate weekends.

Hello, hello. Lovely afternoon in the countryside watching beautiful horses strut their stuff. Beautiful spring day; fields of fabulous crocuses. DD?s behaviour a bit trying (but that?s our fault for letting her stay up so late last night). So going to do early dinner now.

But before that, just wanted to say:

Swan as it happens, I didn?t walk out of church this time as we went to Flemish mass not French for once (dd?s preference) so couldn?t really understand the sermon! [Head in sand emoticon] Agree ranting priests good for formulating one?s own conscience; so far have managed to separate faith from institution but it is getting harder and harder.

Re: dc and getting ready on time ? thanks for the advice ? much appreciated. I agree absolutely that ?a combination of involving oneself a bit- and expecting low standards- grateful for small helpful acts, plus a bit of leaving her to suffer consequences will probably do the trick.? That?s going to be my strategy ? I don?t have enormously high expections but limited and clear ones (so far I think they have been muddled).

In answer to your question, I do remember having to organise my things as a little girl ? keeping my room clean and tidy (can remember dusting my collection of animals on mantelpiece) and keeping my wardrobe and shoes tidy but to be fair I was probably about 11 yrs then, not 8 ? and point taken about having very little stuff to organise!

My late ma issued orders from on high without any input or involvement from us and I don?t want to go down that route. I?m going to try a reward chart because dd seemed enthusiastic about it although I take your point about the ?reward? aspect of them not being ideal for older children. Although to be fair to dd, she seemed more interested in the chart bit itself (although I could be wrong!).

Agree entirely that is entirely natural and probably v. healthy for dc to be thinking about sealing wax rather than the next thing that needs doing!! And that it is total unrealistic of an 8 yr old to have an understanding or over-view of adult time constraints and responsibilities. But what I am trying to avoid is the situation where we have been doing an activity for a while (take ballet as an example) where she knows that it is always at x time on x day, that she needs to wear x clothes, that it takes x minutes to get ready, and it takes x minutes to get there (the xs have remained unchanged for nearly 3 years) and yet it takes two adults to constantly chivvy and remind and cajole her to get ready and to run around after her. I feel she could take some greater level of responsibility in this process, hence chart which is going to have days and timings included, hopefully giving her the tools to improve! We?ll see whether it will work or not.

To be fair to dd, she has improved hugely with regard to getting dressed for school (not so much with organising school work/bag) but we just have to be firmer and clearer with our expectations I reckon, without [notes to self] nagging or getting cross. Time will tell ...

Pasta for supper - back later with more personals

Aaargh Tesco! Don't get me started on that Bitchy. More than 20 years ago Tesco rocked up with a giant Extra store and has now put most of the little shops out of business. They are revamping the store and there is now no place for any of the disabled stuff they've been stocking for the past 2 years and the chemist has given up selling because they can't compete.

Thanks chitchat.

Had a nice nap today, had to come home early from church because I got so dizzy halfway through the service.

Everyone: You ok?
Me: World...ooh, spinny...

Toffee: Whippet? Like a greyhound, but...more compact. :) I love dogs but we haven't the room for one. Plus I just love cats more. Shhh.

Very impressed by everyone's FLYing. I was especially impressed by the Friday competition. I stand back in awe.

Ta-da:

DH made me bacon sandwiches.

I:

• cleaned the oven.
• swept the kitchen floor
• did the dishes
• did a bunch of video editing...I think I'll actually have this piece of work done by Tuesday, hooray!

Camera refused to upload twenty minutes of footage to the computer yesterday. GAH. Still, it wasn't the important 20 minutes, but it does mean I have to do it again.

Loving all this talk of labradoodles by the way. An enormous one lives close by with a lovely owner. She is huge though (the dog not the owner) but fabulous with dc - very kind and solid personality.

Tbh Honu it has been the straw that broke the camels back and i think a complete rethink as to next week is now in order. I need to sort out the underlying issues that has caused the overload.