Fledglings “March” 31 steps away from CHAOS and mess towards domestic success...

[sanguinechompa]

... well, a shiny sink at least!!

Welcome to the March 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Linzer for steering us all through February - not a small achievement Linzer considering your school run/teaching commitments and with your dh travelling so frequently.

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, whinging (in my case anyway ) and support along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

Here you can, for one month:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here and here!

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

No family fun here either, as I've caught the DC's stomach bug. Have had to cancel the friends who were supposed to be coming over for the day, and am still in bed.

Here's my lovely list for the weekend!

Get passport forms ready for teacher to sign
Wash uniforms and kits
Clean bathroom
Mop floors
File paperwork
Visit mother/ maybe uncle too
Homework with dc
Pay bills
Wash and remake our bed
Hoover stairs
15 mins declutter
Clean laundry away
Pack sports kits
Bath hair wash dc
Sort through clothes given to dd
Get ds to tidy their room

SC thanks for the mega round up. Hope everyone is having an OK start to the weekend.

Honu keep going with the clearing out. We had major works to the house and the kitchen moved to the shed June to November. We did a clear out when we packed up and had another skip when we restocked the house. We started off, when no kitchen, trying to maintain some good cooking/eating habits but by October it was cold eating in the shed and we were on excellent terms with the local curry takeaway. By November we were picnicing on the lounge carpet with not a care for what was spilled. It has been worth it though. Good luck.

To Do this weekend:
Laundry
Work prep for meeting on Monday
Homework supervision
De-clutter (stuff in shed that went out when we had aforementioned building work and is still there 2 years on - maybe we just need another skip)
Catch up with family and organise family celebrations.
Family time

Right the plan was a proper lie in until lunchtime. Didn't quite happen that way but I am still in bed. Drunk enough coffee to consider moving now, and about to take a good dose of pain kills and move.

Plan of action:
1 load of washing
ds' maths homework
ds' literacy homework
2x spelling sentences
take ds to the game later.
then i think a nice quiet craft project is the order of the day.

Hi everyone

Not a terribly harmonious morning chez chompa today. I lost my temper badly because I am so incredibly over having to ask dd 30 times to get ready for every single event in her life ie getting ready for school, tennis, ballet, riding, church etc. She's 8 (nearly 9) not 5, and she now knows what every activity involves, and all this procrastination, evasion, dragging of feet gets pretty exasperating after a while (and this is for stuff she likes doing and begged to be asked to do!!!)

She had dh and I both running after her this morning, multiple reminders, finding her ballet shoes, finding her outdoor clothes where she'd dumped them on her bedroom floor, etc etc and I just though enough was enough. She was a bit shocked at my reaction (went from cajoling and persuading to "in future you will lay out your own clothes and make some effort to get yourself ready on time" in a VERY stern tone of voice and she was not happy ... sigh.) And now dh is unhappy with me for shouting ... as he loathes any sort of confrontation. So then it become like I am always battling both of them ...

And I feel badly for writing this here because it seems so disloyal but feel strong need to vent!

Am I being too harsh? Do all 8 yr olds need 'helicopter' parenting and constant reminders? (Admittedly, dd has a fairly shaky understanding of time - can't you tell I'm feeling guilty now!! ) Having an only, I don't have other dc with whom to compare her behaviour and obviously have no idea what I am doing.

Feel like taking myself off for the day and leaving them both to it ...[harrumph] but have to clean office and do washing instead.

Anyway, enough of all that - and apologies for yet another long 'me 'me' 'me' post - what have you all been doing??

Linzer so so sorry you are ill. That's really rotten luck. I hope your family rally round and offer tlc and that it's a short-lived bug x

Chithat Bet you slept well after that lot!!! Congrats on your humungous list - amazing! - and as Toffee says, think it's going to have to be mass distribution of golden dusters all around . Enjoy your family day!

And Toffee glad your amazing list included hairdresser!

As Honu pointed out though [stern look over pince nez] don't forget the baby-steps everyone!! Better to carry on with routines day by day, little by little, than do loads and then burn out ...

Swan Hopefully, your dh will realise pretty quickly in to the process that it's not about blame but identifying possible solutions etc etc Hope it goes well.

Honu well done re: the mega pantry sort-out!! And good to hear you are going to focus on your own needs a little (or as much as time will allow, given everything you have to do). Not only do you thoroughly deserve it, I imagine that it is a necessity for all carers to take time out for themselves occasionally.

Good luck with your lists today Nicknacks and JWIM

Flaps wings at Bitchy

Right, off to wrap some presents for a friend of dd's and I can hear the laundry pile calling ....

And thanks for letting me whinge (again) on here

SC - both my children need constant reminders in the way you describe and the oldest is 12. On two particular occasions recently, I really lost my temper with DS1 and told him, in no uncertain words, how angry he was making me. To my surprise, he apologised both times and made a real effort to change his behaviour afterwards - so I don't think there's anything wrong in children seeing how far they have pushed you sometimes. I also don't think it's disloyal to talk about it here because it's anonymous. And, besides, we all need to vent somewhere.

I know you have probably done this before and I'm suggesting the obvious, but have you tried reward charts? These have worked pretty well for my DC . Or maybe the promise of 15 minutes of TV if she's ready on time? Also, add at least 15 minutes to the time it takes to get ready. I have set an alarm to ring on my mobile and tell DS that means it's time to leave the house. In fact, it rings earlier than we need to go, but at least that gives us time for all DS's dilly dallying.

Linzer - so, so sorry you have caught the bug and needed to cancel your friend's visit. Stomach bugs are so miserable. I hope it passes soon and that you get plenty of rest (at least it's the weekend which means, I hope, that your DH can do childcare duties).

My own DH is now sure he has a chest infection. I did tell him to visit the doc yesterday, but he wouldn't. I am keeping well away, apart from dashing in quickly with glasses of water and bowls of ice cream. The last thing I want to do is get ill before the workshop on Tuesday. DH is meant to be looking after the DC Monday night and Tuesday afternoon whilst I'm away, but it looks as if he'll be too unwell . Why does this always happen? I get so fed up with illness messing things up. I'm not cross with DH - it's not his fault - just with the fact of it happening again. I can almost guarantee that if I commit myself to anything, something will happen to make it difficult to go. Luckily, we have my MIL living nearby now, but I wouldn't normally expect her to do more than short bursts of childcare. Oh well...

Have taken DS2 to a birthday party. He is always awful about going to parties. He complains about feeling shy, says he doesn't want to go - and sometimes won't go at all. This time, it's his best friend's party, so he really had to go. I stayed for about 10 minutes, then decided he'd be more likely to integrate if I left, so have come home for a bit.

Hope you all have a good day.

Toffee thank you so for such a lovely, reassuring post and for taking time out of your busy Saturday to write it! I feel loads better now

DD and I had a talk over lunch - apologised to one another for arguing - and we have decided to follow your suggestion and put up a timings/reward chart for every activity - pinned to bathroom door ie day, activity, time on clock, when she needs to start getting ready for said activity and a place for a :) or a :c + a goal/small present to work towards. I used to use reward charts quite a bit and they always proved successful, but I've somehow got out of the habit recently. So thanks for the reminder (and good idea about using a mobile alarm)!! I'll give it a go!

Anyway, she's now happily gone off to play at her bf's house and I have a bit of time to get things straight here and make a

So sorry to hear about your dh. Let's hope it doesn't develop in to anything too nasty and I hope you manage to get some replacement childcare for Mon/Tues. No wonder you are feeling frustrated - you have had loads to deal with recently, including lots of illnesses. Here's a and a

Hope your ds2 emerges from the party smiling!!

So glad that mn crashed when i was responding to you SC. Toffee's post was far better.

We have made good progress on the homework stuff. Ds seems to be the bottomless pit of eating today.

Afternoon all. Well, the rash got worse rather than better, so spent the morning at the walk-in centre to get confirmation that it is just an allergic reaction (looks pretty alarming now ) and that it will get better with antihistamines. Apparently I now have another antibiotic to add to the list I can't take. Sigh.

Anyway, despite a lot of fuss and noise, DS1 and I have made gingerbread teddies and ladies (no man cutter!), and he's helped to wash up, so that's all good.

Glad you had a productive chat SC - we need to implement a reward chart for school mornings too I think. Probably also with a column for "Mummy not hideously overreacting and yelling at some minor thing..."

and anyone? Shame the pom bear's gone again - quite handy for a gingerbread teddy!

I am using this chart at present, but I have also used this one in the past (the second has pictures as well as words, so useful for younger children).

Glad I was some help, SC - and that you and DD were able to talk about it and come up with a solution.

DS coped pretty well at the party. The birthday boy's mum told me that my DS took himself off to play on his own a few times when it all got too much for him, but he didn't get upset. He was in a good mood when I picked him up and I think it did him good to find out that he could cope without me there.

still there isnt it

oh, so it is. Just not in the list...

in the midst of mostly cheerful sleepover carnage (they have all come downstairs for a glass of milk and a roll (hopefully not the gynmnastic sort like a herd of wildebeest flattening the savannah

ds2 has been very difficult to deal with. Luckily Grandma sent me a telescope which slightly diverted him. He keeps chasing the girls back to to their room and then trying to bite them (I think this is meant to be flirtaceous)

better go and sit outside their room on the landing..

done: dw, catechism, popcorn, cheery schoolmarm mum!

Evening all [hic]

Arf at Swan's herd of wilderbeest and biting antics of her ds2
Hope you are surviving the evening, here's some (although I never dare drink when I have friends of dd over to stay 'cos bet your bottom dollar the night I do will be the one I have to high-tail it to A & E or there is some other emergency....tis sod's law)

[hic]

Bitchy put that bear down!!!!!

[hic] [hic]

Toffee thanks for chart links - which have given me some great ideas for the morrow - much appreciated. Great that your ds enjoyed the party and it didn't overwhelm him. Lack of patience towards poorly dhs only natural when you are already expending so much energy/patience/concern on your dc - leaving v little left over for adults. Hope your dh recovers quickly and that your ds2 receives a reply with regal-looking seal!!

[hic] [hic] [hic]

Blue sorry to hear about the rash - that sounds nasty - amazing you managed to produce gingerbread teddies in the circs. Will definitely include a "non-shouty ma" column in reward chart wouldn't be fair on dd otherwise!!

Sorry for this v. late post [hic]

Picked up v happy dd from her bf's house this pm, dropped something off at another (very musical) friends house by arrangement, got (v.kindly) invited in, became embroiled in 'Spotify' game (everyone took a turn to listen to their favourite, then another turn, then another...) tea mugs got replaced with red wine glasses, cakes with pizza, choices got more and more obscure and we didn't get back home to just before midnight (dd is going to be 'orrible in the morning!) Oh dear...still, was fun and the day ended a lot better than it started

Hope you have all had a bit of family fun today ....

Back in a second with links!

Tomorrow's baby-step, no. 11 for Sunday March 11th is

here - continuing routines and creating 3 "inspirational phrases" for your cj

(other than 1. I will not drink hic during Lent 2. I will occasionally in my dreams- complete all baby-steps and missions and 3 I will not whinge incessantly about housework )

No missions or zones to report because it is the weekend!

Sunday focus is 'renew your spirit' nurse your crashing hangover day here

Seriously though, noticed that fat fairy says on this page "You have to love yourself to get your home in order.? Normally I would dismiss this as vomitus psychobabble but now my thoughts are a bit more er, well-lubricated, perhaps there is sense in this. If one is feeling physically and emotionally depleted, it stands to reason that there is no energy left over to take care of one's living space. This ties in with correlation between one's health and weight etc and one's living space (can you tell I have been reading 'Body Clutter' recently???) Looking around my pit of a home atm, it explains a lot!!!!

Anyway, moving on ...

For those of you who like to get ahead, next week we will be in Zone 3: the bathroom plus one other room here

Aarrghh - FF suggests laundry room might be 'designated other room' [SC runs and hides]

Have peaceful Sundays everyone! G'night ....

oh dear, the last one has finally dropped off! I'd forgotten how impossible it is to get five little girls to stop whispering and complaining...too hot, too dusty, I need my olbas, I need my teddy, I need to switch the light on, x is crying, there's a smell of burning (that will be Dh's omelette ) my eyes are itchy (why did your mum send you without piriton if you are allergic to everythign in my house! AARGH...and yes children we have slept happily in this room for years without all being seized by allergic reactions..you too dd [phantom asthamatic]

But it all went well till 10.30. Perhaps I shouldn't have switched the lights off and sat on the stairs, quite so early.

SC all sounds very familiar to me (the activity windup) We had a spectacularily awful one last week with violin. I've noticed the less money I spend on an activity the more likely dd is to like it She is at 10 getting very good at getting ready and organised though. I think her self esteem is bound up in being on time, with the right equipment. This does not extend to music practice though.

Blue I had a hideous reaction to cephalaxin antiobio, which dr's put down to pregnancy itching, and I know now was an allergy (I have no allergies except for this and wasp stings) Cured finally by piriton, if I had known I would have taken it earlier.

Hello, I was doing so well in Jan and then it all went pear shaped. Clutter is once again lapping at the shores of my sanity and I need to regain control.

I have however in the meantime read Getting Things Done by David Allen and am about to implement his life changing system in my paperwork. We shall see. I think I read about it on the 'Getting Organised' thread and it makes a lot of sense.

I will enjoy my Sunday and get stuck in on Monday with bathroom and a 15-min declutter. Have lost my gps watch and it must be somewhere in this tip so will have a good incentive to burrow through the crap. I keep going for long runs with no idea how fast or far I'm going. So probably not fast or far enough.

Thanks sc for all your efforts.

SC - glad you had such a happy ending to your day.

Swan - full marks for dealing with the sleepover!

cq - welcome back. I love your phrase, "Clutter is once again lapping at the shores of my sanity" .

DS1 spent the day here with his best friend, then went back to his for a sleepover tonight. This is a very good sign because he wouldn't have been able to do that a couple of weeks' ago. Hopefully, this means the Prozac is beginning to work . He had been feeling quite low, so I hope this will cheer him up again.

DH refused a glass of wine tonight, so now I know he's really ill and needs to see his GP on Monday for antibiotics.

All plans for tomorrow have been cancelled, but I am quite looking forward to getting the house in order before I go away on Monday.

Feeling peckish. Think I will go and raid the kitchen then get back to bed. The kitchen is a tip again, but it'll have to wait.

Good morning everyone

Casino night was fab, good fun had by all and £700 raised for parkinsons uk. Too much wine drunk unfortunately

Had busy day at governors conference came back to an extremely stressed dh. Kids plus caravan park to run =meltdown. Conference was brill though

Had quick washing machine on and a trip to pizza hut and we were both in bed asleep by 8.30. Must be why I'm awake now

Today is my family fun day well going to take kids out somewhere. Dh is going to work. Also have to

Ds maths homework/reading
Get clothes ready for tomorrow
Tidy up for cleaner coming
Find number of conservatory chap as broken mil catch on door also need to iron couch cover that cat weed on and find replacement china bowl £27 for broken bowl. Clean up cats piss from spare room which thankfully is entirely covered in plastic to try and protect carpet from mess! Find new iron for mil as dropped hers and large chunk of plastic broke off. I'm never staying here again!!!! we still got over a week to go till they get back and looks like bathroom at home will not be finished in time. (and breathe)
Buy present for my friend and baby who was born yesterday by c-section

swan how brave of you to have a sleepover. Although I think from your description you are not selling it well lol at Ds2 attempts at flirtation
sc love "vomitus psychobabble" thanks for the roundup. Sounds like a fab spotify impromptu night. Hope dd is not so tired tomorrow that she makes you weep. (sorry is that just mine
toffee glad ds enjoyed his party. Thanks for charts I'm gonna use them. Mornings are awful here at the mo and it might just help! Ill dh's are awful. I always put annoyance feelings down to the fact that if you were ill you wouldn't get to languish so long hope he is better soon and it doesn't prevent you getting to workshop. and horror at sending money to the queen
blue they took the away!!!! Aaarraagghh my sympathies with rash get awful rashes from time to time and they are awful. I Definately need your mummy overreacting column too.
bitchy well done on lie in that's great. My lie ins last till 8am
linzer hope you all get better soon. Have a feeling postcards went in the bin! We came back from Egypt on 19th feb so I think they are not getting delivered. I'm afraid we saw very little of Egypt. It was just a proper chill out family holiday in the sun one day we will go back and see things when the kids are older and hopefully country not so turbulent.
mrsusra sorry to hear about dh thumb I hope he gets movement back soon. Sorry about your cat they so tugg at your heart strings don't they.
ellie I am forgiving and forgetting any swearing you may have initiated. After my new framework ofsted workshop today I am again in awe of any teachers trying to engage children in school. Swear away

Waves to jwim nicknacks chitchat mummynickelby honu jax

Right I better try and get back to sleep. It's 5.22 now and I've been away for over an hour.

Good morning and good night all.

Well, yesterday was a complete cba day! Just lost focus completely. Cooked experimental meal DH hated. Need timed list today!

at JWIM kitchen in shed! Temp kitchen is really very good - will be better when cooker moved! It's just the transition to a much smaller area and a total inability to declutter.

Like cq 'Clutter is once again lapping at the shores of my sanity'. In danger of drowning here!

and :o at competitive Flying. I will NOT be joining in!

Hope you got some sleep swan that you are feeling better linzer and that your poorly DH is on the mend toffee

My list for today is:

• Eat breakfast
• Deliver DD to Church parade
• Drive to Silverstone without getting lost
• Run half marathon
• Drive home somehow (legs will be knackered!)
• Collapse in bath

Anything else is a bonus :)

Actually quite exited and it looks like a beautiful day.
Enjoy yours whatever you are doing.

Oh, good luck feet - hope it goes really well.

cq - a friend of mine swears by GTD - there seems to be quite an online community dedicated to it.

Well, I'm feeling a little better this morning - less red and hot. Fortunately haven't been too itchy. It's DH's lie-in so already have a ta-da! list:

DW emptied
Laundry on
Breadmaker on

Now need to rescue rest of kitchen, defrost sausages and discuss the morning routine chart I printed off last night. It's a blank one so can use words for DS1 and pictures for DS2...

Leaves tray of on the bar. See you later!

Coost - well done on raising all that money. You are absolutely right about the reason for my annoyance at DH's illness (ie. boundless time to languish). (And see below).

Honu - timed list needed here too!

Feet - hope the half marathon goes well. I'm so impressed. I can barely run up the road without getting out of breath .

Blue - glad the rash is subsiding. Had a look at GTD, but find it too scary! Plus, it did seem to be using lots of jargon for what is essentially - er - just writing lists .

DH is phoning his mum to ask her to put the DC to bed on Monday night after I've gone. She is also coming over to help on Tuesday. She will fuss over him because she always worries when he's ill. He is genuinely ill, but it just annoys me that this is one of the few times he's been left in sole charge of the children and he gets his mum in to help! Can't think how many times I've looked after the DC, cooked their dinners, put them to bed etc whilst unwell. Am I BU?

No phone call from DS1, so he seems to be doing all right at his sleepover. DS2 woke me up an hour after I went back to bed, then played with his cars and road mat (though rather noisily) whilst I dozed. Gold star for him .

I need to make a list for today as I need to get organised for tomorrow's trip, as well as leaving the house in good order for my MIL.

Enjoy the beautiful day (blackbird singing its heart out outside our kitchen window again. DH says it's just telling other birds to f--- off, but if it is, it's doing it very beautifully).

Good luck with your marathon Feet.

Hope you get better soon Linzer and Blue.

Have a relaxing Sunday (if you can) Swan.

sc it seems other people have written really sensible and caring advice as to coping with getting ready in the mornings. Actually reward charts are a brilliant idea. I was going to be all evil, and ask what would happen if you just whisked her out of the house on time regardless of having the right equipment or not [evil grin]. On reflection this is probably far too harsh, and much more suitable for teenagers. Have you thought about using the flylady technique - evening routine - check calendar and lay out everything you need for the next day by the front door so you don't have to find it in the morning. I'm sure you could make a personal (with pictures?) weekly plan for DD so she knows what she needs to get ready for each day.

Waves at everyone else. Sorry still really busy round here, but finally feel that the chest is getting better, and I now feel positive enough about life to actually plan ahead for the week, and cook again (definite improvement). Absolutely manic week ahead though with visits from DM DF, DSIL + small child coming for few days, toddler birthday party to go to (and present to buy), interviews for nursery, four other meetings for nursery - this is a voluntary thing that I'm doing ! DH asked yesterday if I'd like to meet him for lunch on Mon - fat chance! Oh, and I'd like to spend some time playing with my DC (preschoolers) if I may.

I'll keep up with reading the thread, but not sure how I'll post. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone, and a positive week.