Flinging our way through the chaos: February’s Fledgling Flyers

[LinzerTorte]

Welcome to the February edition of the Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If you're living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), this is the thread for you! We follow the tips on the FlyLady website in an attempt to restore order to our homes, but advise against signing up for the e-mails; all the information you need is on this thread.

Each day, I'll be posting the links that will enable you to do any of the following:

• start or repeat babysteps

• repeat babysteps and do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More information about the babysteps is here.

So please join us - there's always plenty of chat, , cake, encouragement and the occasional to help us on our way!

evening all.

just I tidied the car up a bit, well as much as I could from driver seat, sorted out the mountain of receipts in handbag and cleaned dashboard.

Took my Mum to the airport this morning with DD. I miss her already. But at least we know that she can have my Dad in respite care and he is fine and she can fly down to us which is nice.

So, tomorrow I will do home blessing hour and that is about it as we have decorator in during week to do dining room and living room, so wont be much cleaning going on then... so will do blinds and windows and floors tomorrow in DR.

bitchy why cant you drink coffee?

Because i am being good and following the instructions i was given post wisdom tooth removal. why i don't know. coffee tomo

Evening all,

Not much Flying to report, I've just been catching up on the thread as we've been away again. The DCs have managed to create an awful lot of mess since getting back at about 3pm.

However, with my Lent intentions in mind, I have been scrubbing all sorts of grot spots with the Magic Eraser block, it is getting lots of little spots done that I though were beyond cleaning, also doing easily things that were not beyond cleaning but would have needed a lot of chemicals and elbow grease. It has proved particularly good at shifting light limescale. All fallen to pieces now so I will have to buy some more.

Also I have typed out my detailed cleaning lists onto a table on a small piece of paper and laminated it to keep in my diary, so I always have it with me and don't have to cross over diary with control journal and updated diary with all appointments for March. Ta-da!

Bitchy - have a virtual - not quite the same but maybe it'll keep you going?!

Have had a moderately successful day but still have 3 baskets of laundry to sort...

DS2 has also decided to drop his afternoon nap which is going to considerably cut into my MN/flying/work time... [sobs]

WhoKnows - I'm going to have to get the magic erasers out again!

Tomorrow's to do list - call council about getting old sofa taken away. :( Nobody else wants it and I can't clean the sitting room properly till it's gone!

blueeyeshadow can you freegle/freecylce your sofa? Im sure someone will want it.

bitchy I dont remember being told not to drink coffee - and I distinctly remember drinking tea the evening after I had wisdom tooth op.

hope you feel better soon, and have a decent coffee.

Evening
Managed to have a nap this afternoon but off to bed now.

Only did washing today and have only 1 load to do tomorrow

Went to cinema with my mum this evening, saw my first horror for years: woman in black. My goodness, I actually screamed at one point!!! Nearly wet myself

Highly recommend it.

Glad we are on the living room this week, I've lost the rug again due to the toy mountain!

Decluttered a big area of kitchen,
Dusted
Vacuumed
Mopped

So my house has been blessed

Going to do lounge and try & declutter my bedroom some more.

Nighty night

I have
watched Homeland (very unsuitable for children)
cleaned out fridge of the earthy inedibles
food compost
dw on
another load of washing
another load of washing
put all the sheets in the wash but not actually remade the beds properly ds made his own, very very badly. It's good for him I hope!
made ds1 sort out his knapsack again very very badly, but at least he put the bits of paper which have been in there for two months on his desk...And found he had three rulers.

recycling
washed ds1 blazer which I will now hang out
and I need to set alarm for 7am.
mud crunching underfoot everywhere I walk.

Nickleby "My goodness, I actually screamed at one point!!! Nearly wet myself. Highly recommend it." thanks but i think i will pass on the recommendation. the recommendation scares me.

Jax - it's not so much the drinking of coffee it's the fact that 1. not hot/ very cold foods recommendation and 2. there was more caffine then blood in me and perhaps this is a good way to cut back/get off caffine which if i am honest i shouldnt be drinking any normally if i want to sleep properly.

however, it is now half midnight, i still have paperwork to sortout and i am unlikely to be sleeping and i will sleep tomo I am going to make a cup of coffee, put a load of washing on, find the paperwork, and then drink the nearly cold coffee. Cos damm it, i cheated and ate ice cream earlier anyway. Oooo I have the other half of the tub still in the freezer. might have to rescue that.

Nickleby I am going to see that tonight (i am a bit scared) thinking enormous bucket of popcorn to stick my head in for the scary bits :o

Hello all, i am back after our week 'off' 3 out of the 4 of us have a grotty cold (still) but hey ho.

Mini list

Finish tea
Get up
Get dressed/hair etc
Quick wipe round of bathroom
Make beds
Take some laundry downstairs
DH give kids breakfast
Get DS dressed (dd already dressed herself!)
Quick tidy round downstairs
DD to preschool
Friends round for coffee.

That will do for now, back later :)

Jax - have put sofa on freegle 3 times now. Couple of people enquired but either wrong size or they didn't get back to me. :(

thats a shame blue I have got rid of lots of things on freecycle and the amount of timewasters is just awful. Some people are quite rude too... makes you wonder doesnt it?

Yes, it is a shame. I've just arranged to have it collected, which will cost more than we paid for it!!

Today's remaining list:

Babysteps and Home bleurgh
Rubbish
Fridge (someone put bottle of chilli oil in without a top!)
Recycling
Shopping list
Food shop + hunt down shoe blacking
Try and find Alan Bennett?s ?a cream cracker under the settee?
Make soup
Ironing
Go through son?s coursework
Deal with subsequent panic
Find Marxism resources
Sort out clothes pile disaster zone.

Bitchy, Ow! What a shame.

Justgetting - is that the one about the elderly lady who fell and is bemoaning the inability of the person who comes in to do her cleaning for her?

right, i have drunk coffee and done stuff. might eat some soup in a bit but drinking almost rm temp coffee
blood is over rated right?

Bitchy, that's the one.
You do need some blood in your caffeine sytem, but there's a limit.

Afternoon all

My lounge is looking presentable now. Lots of dust balls behind both sofas now gone and little lego bits thwhacked out of the shagpile rug - DD will be thrilled I hate the magazine and newspaper pile as it's quite bad but i always think i'll have time for a quick read even though some are quite old now, really need to blitz the lot...aarrggh!

Half the downstairs hoovered and the dried laundry put away. Closed the door on DD room, what a pigsty.

Big homework night tonight after drama, which is always a battle.

Catch up soon.

Hello everyone, can I come back into the fold.

Need some help/motivation.

Home Bleurgh not yet started but have got huge pot of bolognese on the stove and kitchen looks almost presentable.

Chaos reigns everywhere else!

Chaos doesnt reign here she isnt a fledgling

Good to have you back

I am trying to rewrite my cv. It currently contains the phrase shoot me nooooooow, and the sentance " as a parent i have had to develop the ability to not have a nervous breakdown under extreme stress and sleep deprivation." still a work in progress then

Ta da:
sort the bastard paperwork out for meeting
up and out
have meeting
Ring B & B - but need to find another one as they arent open that wkend. it's easter wkend ffs
Ring tax credits office
Ring 6 different no to find info to ring tax credits back
ring tax credits back
re order CV.

Currently trying to write personal profile/achievements type thing. [lost will to live]

I think i need more coffee and folding socks would be more beneficial.

Glad your wisdom-teeth op is over and done with, Bitchy. Sympathies re CV. I have no idea what mine would contain these days, but it would be very similar to what you wrote.

Had appointment at CAMHS this morning to discuss DS1's progress: DS1 had to leave early because he was so stressed, DH developed shooting pains down his right arm and I had to go for a long walk with copious amounts of tissues. We all find these meetings utterly harrowing, although I'm sure the professionals would be baffled to hear that as they were all perfectly pleasant. However, the psychiatrist is concerned that DS is severely underweight and had quite a go at me about what I was feeding him. I pointed out that he leaves most of his food and I can't force him to eat. I was perfectly calm during the session, but it hit me afterwards. Am feeling like a crap mum now as apparently I can't even feed him properly, let alone get him to school.

Another meeting tomorrow at the school . DH and I feel a bit like running away from it all, to be honest.

Just to add to the stress, a very critical and hard-to-manage relative is visiting us on Friday, so I have to sort the house out by then. She is a great one for spotting all the faults (of which there are many) and going on about them. So, my 'ta da' list today is:

School run
Meeting at CAMHS
Confirmed date that gardener is coming to tame the jungle
Booked window cleaner
Booked plumber to mend leaky tap
Cooked large and fattening lunch of sausages and chips (and DS1 ate about five chips and one sausage - what am I meant to do about that? )
Moved several coats from hall to wardrobe
Washing up

Am now going to finish my Ocado order and do a couple more jobs before the school run.

Sorry for no more personals - will come back later, I hope.

Its a control thing the food. I used/still to do it. Pscy is right to bring it up as a concern. but it is done so not because you are a crap parent but because it shows the severity of the problem and the urgency to get this resolved.

You are not a crap parent. Ds1 is just in a bad place. Which you know.

Food control here always starts with having to leave a bit - ie never finishing anything. It starts with crusts.
It will result in consuming just enough calories to maintain weight but through the littlest physical amount of food. eg total daily calorie intake consumed in a bit of cheese and some chocolate. it is actually easier then you would think to do this. It is very very destruct but very very addictive. And at its worst can get to just drinking coffee and one chocolate bar. And the cause is simply feeling out of control and the despair that goes with it. And as a grown up i can tell you there is nothing anyone can do to stop it getting that bad when i hit a down ward cycle and no one can bring me out of it for me. In fact challenging me on it makes me worse and more secretive.

Which is why the professionals want to stop this before it gets to this state. the earlier the food control can be stopped the easier it is to prevent it getting to this state.

And i think you will probably find if you ask the professionals unprofessionally, they would admit these meetings are hard for them too.

personally if your hard to manage visitor makes a comment i would respond "Oooo so glad you notice could you do x to help sort that out" and make it jobs like take the rubbish out/peel veg/etc.
i have no time for obnoxious relatives, which is why my mother has made me swear not to gloat over the fact my now pregnant sister is going to learn the hard way the error in a number of the lectures she has given me bitch I am going to stick to the old rule and just not talk to her.

Sorry that was a bit of a mindsplat feel free to ignore if it makes no sense or upsets you. x

Oh toffee how awful
I can not offer advice as haven't been in that situation (thankfully)

dedalus you'll love the film, I hope! Tell me what you think of the ending later. No spoilers though!

Just going to make our bed and rescue the lounge - toys everywhere, it's a never ending task

Ironing later... I'm so excited...

Bitchy my cv would now read: overweight, disillusioned, untidy nearly-50-year-old former copy-editor, lacking in motivation and confidence who no longer has any discernible skills except those related to kicking a photocopier, riding a horse (slowly) and weeding the garden

Toffee so sorry your CAHMS meeting was so stressful. As Bitchy says you are definitely NOT a crap mother as anyone who has read your posts on here will testify. Could your ds1 be persuaded to cook with or for you perhaps? (Sorry if this is a puerile suggestion) but I always find if dd is not keen on a certain type of food, she can be persuaded to at least try it if she knows/has been part of what has gone in to it. Personally, I always think that food control issues (having had a few in my time but I am absolutely no expert) are best dealt with by totally removing any stress or pressure from the situation ...not at all easy if you are worried about your ds1's weight I know. But he can't be forced to eat ...I think if the atmosphere at meal times are light and casual and there are plenty of healthy choices available ..I'm sure his natural bodily instincts will take over eventually. And try and make sure he has other areas in his life that he has control over if at all possible. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know) remember he is lucky to have you as his ma!!!

Yo Nettie great to see you!! Save us some spag bol please and can I ask for some motivation too? It's all gone down the plug-hole here. Need huge kick up rear.

Frantic waves to Linzer (thank you for steps) Swan* Blue LadyinPink (sympathies with hwk issues) Justgettingonwithit Whoknows Scatty Slowburner (hope your tonsillitis is getting better) Honu Chitchat (congrats on your Lenten house resolutions) Jax MummyNickleby membership Dedalus and anyone else I've forgotten..

Bitchy - I loved your 'mindsplat' - it made me and cheered me up. Thank you. You are right about the food being a control thing with DS. He 'controlled' his anxiety at school by not eating all day, so he's very good at ignoring hunger.

I would love to deal with the difficult relative in the way you describe, but I'm usually speechless with rage. She says breathtakingly rude things so, even if she is on her best behaviour, I spend the visit on tenterhooks waiting for the attack. I think we will need to have to cope.

Continuation of ta da:

School run
Windows, mirrors, pictures and framed photos wiped with Windolene
MathsWhizz with DS2
Encouraged DS1 to help himself to peanut butter and crackers (which he didn't finish, but never mind)
Added fattening food to Ocado list
Emailed family therapist - appointment through for Wednesday. We need it!

Right, back to chores....