Flinging our way through the chaos: February’s Fledgling Flyers

[LinzerTorte]

Welcome to the February edition of the Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If you're living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), this is the thread for you! We follow the tips on the FlyLady website in an attempt to restore order to our homes, but advise against signing up for the e-mails; all the information you need is on this thread.

Each day, I'll be posting the links that will enable you to do any of the following:

• start or repeat babysteps

• repeat babysteps and do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More information about the babysteps is here.

So please join us - there's always plenty of chat, , cake, encouragement and the occasional to help us on our way!

Whoknows a mark of my "depression"/inertia is that there is a Magimix in my kitchen from Christmas (my present to dh at his request for him to cook JO dishes - which he hasn't...) I chopped something in it a week ago, finally, my heart surged, I remembered all the chopping and magimixing I used to do as a teenager in the holidays, endlessly trying out recipes. And then I just thought, no, I don't care enough to cook anything special...I definitely seem to have lost my zest for life at moment, not sure what to do...

There is a dog coming tomorrow to wreak havoc on my existence for a day (friend's youngish dog needs minding during day for a bit) so that may jolt me out of my inertia.

Dog owning flyladies, tomorrow I may need handholding! Lively springer of 4 months. just borrowing him though...

Just back from an unexpected trip to the local A&E after something went in my eye and wouldn't come out . Very odd. I was simply sitting on the sofa reading to DS1 and, all of a sudden, felt as if I had a brick in my eye. Turned out that whatever it was had gone by the time I reached A&E, but I now had a scratch on my cornea which was just as painful. So now I am back home, looking as if I have been in the boxing ring (very swollen eye) and clutching a tube of antibiotic drops. DH has agreed to do the school run for me .

I am, at present, a one-eyed typist!

Feet - well done on DD's party - it sounds like a great success!

Honu - that sounds so hard for you with DH. It must be incredibly frustrating for you and his disability must have huge implications for the rest of your daily life. Offloading is very much permitted on this thread! We are not just here for Flying, you know.

Lauren - congratulations on losing all that weight, although I suspect your not-so-dear ex had something to do with that. At least that is something good to come out of the situation though (assuming you wanted to lose weight, that is?). How are you doing, by the way? You always sound very busy and positive.

JustGetting - thanks for that link about 'Holes'. DS's teacher was supposed to have sent stuff about it, but she must have forgotten. Re: your overly dependant friends - when they ask you what they are supposed to do, turn the question round on them, ie. "What do you think you could do?" And keep repeating that you can't help them anymore like a mantra, eg. "I know it must be really hard for you, but I can't help you at the moment". You need to put yourself and your own family first or you will be no help to them. And, in a way, you are not helping your friends if you do too much for them, as they need to learn to help themselves. You sound like an amazing friend to have, but you don't deserve to be taken advantage of.

Swan - are you OK? You are sounding a little down? That loss of 'zest for life' is one of the signs of depression (or you could simply be exhausted!).

Right, doing this with one eye is surprisingly difficult, so I'm going to sign off. Will come back and lurk later.

Oh poor you Toffee - things in eyes are the worst!

Have had a very errandy day so far but survived getting DS2 new shoes, much against his will... Had to pay full price though! (Between factory shop & sales haven't needed too for years...) Also bought some silver dip and now have sparkly jewellery again.

DS2 woke up too soon from his nap and has now fallen back to sleep on me so I'm stuck here!

Lauren - well done! :)

Swan - hope you're OK.

This is not good. The numbing drops that A&E put in my eye have worn off and now it's hurting and weeping all the time . And DH is off out tonight, so I will have to get DS2 to bed (DS1 can put himself to bed at least) .

Huge sympathy toffee same thing happened to me years ago and it was very painful. I remember sitting up 1/2 the night drinking whisky .

Honu My patients all lie to me I'm sure . I guess its his choice and there is nothing you can do to change him. The best exercise is doing day to day things and activites that are enjoyable. Do you have a Wii?

Zero flying as have been at work all day. Need to pay car tax.

Oh no Toffee - that's horrible. It's never happened to me, but it did to DH a couple of years ago, it healed very quickly though. I have had all manner of much more minor eye irritations as a 25+ year contact lens wearer and they always seem to get better quickly, hope yours feel more comfortable soon.

Swan - I have an awful lot of the joy of cooking taken out of me by DS and his fussy eating, day after day of either having boring pasta and tomato sauce or cooking something you know he probably won't even try let alone like means it is a real chore nowadays. Baking is a bit more escapist though. And at least the results get eaten.

Well, zero Flying so far today, apart from the most basic of routines (I have been at work in my defence). Tonight I HAVE to do paperwork as I am seeing a financial advisor in the morning to try and sort out my messy tax/pension situation, so need to establish just how messy it actually is. Also need to sort some Gardening Club stuff out, having a meeting with all the volunteers tomorrow to plan for the term, get a rota sorted etc.

Just wanted to say, to whoever was recommending Lakeland Magic Eraser block the other week - WOW! I got one last week, we have a white painted wall going into the kitchen which has looked grubby forever, no ecloths or cleaners have been able to touch it, now it looks like new! It also cleaned my cooker hood in about a minute flat, and greasy sides of cupboards adjacent to cooker hood before falling apart. Have now discovered the JML version for half the price in Homebase, seems to work just as well.

Hiya all, had a lovely lazyish day with a spot of room cleaning in the middle and I've already done zumba so I'm relaxing and catching up on telly!

Ta da:
Hoovered
washed up and shined sink
put throw off bed in washing machine
Deep cleaned bathroom and washed and dried towels and mats
Deep cleaned bedroom- pulled out desk and washed skirting boards behind, hoovered up the bedroom floor
Decluttered desk and dusted, and high dusted
Bagged up the things XDP left behind and text him saying collect by monday or they are going in the bin [evil ex girlfriend emoticon]
Had a visit from a friend this morning
Did all of this weeks missions in the bedroom

I'm going out tomorrow night so I'll be on at some point tomorrow posting a list in preparation for them landing here for pre night out drinks!

Toffee Ofsted are coming either on Monday 5th March or the Friday of that week, I think I'm pretty much ready, I just want to do some little things like labelling toy boxes in the playroom and things so it all looks good! at you being a one eyed typist! But hope your eye is feeling better soon!

Hope you are feeling better jax

feetheart Im glad DD had a good birthday (mostly!) but how sad that some of the children didn't treat her things with respect

honu you must be such a strong person to deal with all of your DH's problems! Don't ever feel embarrassed posting on here and letting it all out! That's what we are here for! have a huge glass of

Helping a hoarder must be a huge task justgetting! I feel for you, I struggle to keep my own house clean never mind tackling someone elses top to bottom!

swan good luck with the spaniel coming tomorrow! I've got a welsh springer spaniel and he is 14 months old and he's a bit on the wild side! I love him though

whoknows I'm going to get myself one of those blocks if they are that good!

That sounds awful Toffee, really hope it's better soon.

WhoKnows I had the Magic Eraser in my Lakeland shopping basket, but then it all disappeared and I haven't had time to redo it - I was so annoyed (I thought I'd saved the page, but just seem to have just saved a link to an empty shopping basket). I was so ridiculously excited to discover that postage to continental Europe is now only £7.50 that I had rather a large amount in my basket too.

A very hectic and rather stressful day here. My work finally arrived - I'd told the agency I needed to have it by 10 am if I was going to get it done today, so wasn't surprised that it arrived at 9.55 am (and wished I'd told them 9.30 or even 9 am). I had to work until 1.30 pm to get it done, leaving the girls (who'd arrived home just after 12) to more or less fend for themselves. Then had about 10 minutes to have some lunch before we went to DS's school enrolment.

The fact that DS burst into tears and buried himself in my skirt when the head started speaking didn't exactly bode well. As I'd expected, he refused to go off to have a look round the school and do the various activities without me - and also refused to do the first set of activities at all. Luckily he did warm up a bit as the afternoon went on, but he still wouldn't let me leave his side and I was desperate for some coffee and cake and a chat with some of the other parents. It's all a bit frustrating when the children are being assessed wrt whether they're ready for school or not - and I'm sure that he's more than ready, he's just very shy and clingy in new situations (on which basis, I wouldn't have been ready for school until I was about 16).

**

Friday's links

The babystep today is a very useful one: the swish & swipe.

The final mission in the master bedroom is to declutter your dresser. Or chest of drawers in British English. (But I still prefer dressing table. Some day I am going to find an American who will back me up. )

I have found the following definition of dresser in an online dictionary:

US a chest of drawers for storing clothing in a bedroom or dressing room, often having a mirror on the top

If that's not a dressing table, I don't know what is.

(Not quite sure why I'm arguing my case, as what we have in our bedroom is definitely more a chest of drawers than a dressing table.)

Although I suppose a dressing table should really be more table-like and have make-up in/on it too. And would be called a vanity in the USA.

Declutter whatever piece of furniture you have in your bedroom that isn't a wardrobe or bedside table, at any rate.

Also meant to say that I bought one of those eraser blocks (or rather a pack of 5) from Tchibo and it started falling apart fairly quickly, so I'll be interested to see if the Lakeland one is better quality.

lauren That sounds quite reasonable to me, not evil at all - especially considering how he's treated you.

at linzer's one sided discussion on what consitutes a dressor.

Not too much pain but soooo sleepy. Hurts to yell though. And ds is being trying. He is still not great after breaking his arm. He actually looks greyish most of the time atm. No temperature. Just white and overtiredly grumpy.

Flying on complete hold. Hope to be able to do one or two things by the wkend. But for now sleeping alot.

Thinking about all of you who are having so many troubles atm. I have read through but have sieve brain i'd blame the GA but it is a pretty common occurance

Friday's list.
Fill in form for ds school trip
find paperwork for Monday
Ask mum to pick up paperwork for tuesday.
Sleep.

Have been SO hopeless...
Will jump back in at the beginning of next month if that's ok with everyone?

Lots of things going on (a whole thread in itself probably) so will pop off till March's thread appears x

at Linzer! Well, I did the dressing table the other day, so should probably tackle the chest of drawers. Most of the junk in/on it is DH's though, so CBA.

Bitchy - take care, hope things are better tomorrow.

Linzer/WhoKnows - I've got some of Aldi's version of magic erasers and they do fall apart very quickly. It warns about that on the box though, so I wasn't too worried by it.

WhoKnows - I've more or less given up "real" cooking for the boys as they'd rather have some variation on pasta, veg and a fairly limited range of protein every day. DH and I usually eat later. Occasionally we eat together and try to encourage them to branch out, and that can indeed be very frustrating!

Waves to Neenook - feel free to pop in to the thread even if just for a chat! - and to everybody else. Night all!

Toffee that is agonising: I've had corneal scratches twice, the second the day after sister's wedding for wearing contact lenses too long for wedding disco - my abiding memory of my [dearly loved] ex-boyfriend was of him taking me off to local surgery in Ireland whilst all around were sodden corpses from the morning after the night before. I met him again (he is a friend of my brother at my brother's wedding 15 years later...and couldn't stop myself blurting out, do you remember the time you had to take me the surgery. Very romantic memories Never wore contacts again for that reason.
But it healed

lauren glad to hear you have springer expertise.
Do I need to clear the floor of everything I wonder? Also as he is not mine and has only met me once I'm slightly concerned about his recall if I take him for an off lead walk, which what I think owners want me to do. I'm sure I have a treat in store tomorrow At least dogs don't care how tidy the house is, only how friendly you are!

done
went to secondary to discuss Rome trip, friend kindly gave me a lift
but I was forced to hire babysitter to look after twins, and felt dispirited I hadn't organised a friend to do it, and then depressed about not having nerve to ask anyone I saw one friend/acquaintance taking 8 children home (she has four of her own) and a part-time job - why is everyone else so good at these child swaps?? Boo hoo....for some reason it is difficult to foist the twins on others...
twins a bit all over place, but fine
Dh saved day again this evening
then I went to discussion group, which revived spirits
Dh now watching Singing Detective and refusing to be budged

Whoknows
I thought about your thoughts on the world, during discussion group.

Linzer interesting that though they are strict once the children are in school, they are so responsive to individual children before they GO to school and assess them. In UK you are in at 4 whether you like it or not

Blue we do try and all eat together a few times a week, because I am feeling militant at the moment and not wanting to cave in to DS and his food fads, he is ok with that so long as he can have bread and butter in place of the parts of the meal he doesn't like. I do 2 or 3 x a week just cook pasta for the DCs with a view to us eating later, but by the time we've got them to bed we usually can't be bothered to cook anything more than an omelette or toast.

Swan I had a good chat with a friend about the state of the world the other day and then managed to put it all out of my mind quite well. I am a bit of a one for worrying about things that are totally out of my control

Bitchy good to see you back, take it easy.

Linzer sorry to hear about the stressful enrollment day

Honu - How frustrating. I can?t even begin to imagine how difficult it all is for you. It would be so much easier on you if your DH would take some responsibility for his health

Toffee -It?s a good thing you cleared your bedroom floor then! Wouldn?t like to imagine what could have happened if you had to get up quickly with only 1 eye!

Scatty - have you tried a herb called Fenugreek? Saved me from having a sinus operation!!! Clears the muck out of the sinuses with continued use.

Toffee - glad that DS1 is aware enough of you to see how much he hurt you. I am of your stove, blasted contractor never even got back to me with a quote ?yet he came out to see me the same day I rang him!!!

Lauren - glad everything?s on track for your inspection. Well done on your weight loss!!!

Feet - a good lesson for your DD to learn, before she gets older and gets hurt by ?friends? trashing her things.

JustGetting - any chance of saying ?this is something you will need to deal with yourself, I?m afraid?, or will that just cause a major meltdown?

WhoKnows - what?s the JML version called? It sounds like I NEED to have this!!!

Linzer - so if he?s assessed as not ready, how long do you have to wait?

Bitchy - sleep is good!!!

Swan - I always find it hard to foist my 2 onto someone. A lot of the other mums only have 1 child so I always felt awkward asking them to look after both of mine ? given up now and just use a babysitter.

Sorry for not really being keeping up for the last few days.

While I was ill I got so depressed about the state of the house, I couldn?t even ask my friend to look after the boys because I was too embarrassed to have her come over and pick them up and see the house. Fortunately when she offered she said she couldn?t pick them up and was I up to driving them.... which I gratefully agreed to.

It made me realise though just how much harder I have made my life by not being organised at home . So at the Ash Wednesday service, when they were talking about giving up something or taking up something for lent, I immediately thought of my house and the chaos that I live in. So my goal over lent is to get control of my house, and properly turn it into a home.

Over the last few days I have actually accomplished quite a lot to that end.
Done (over 3 days)

Hall and entrance
-Decluttered, swept and mopped, tidied up shoes

Utility room rescue
-Pulled EVERYTHING out, decluttered the rubbish on the floor, swept, mopped, re-organised cupboard, cleaned and organised counter top, wiped down washing machine and dryer, put baskets back in neatly.

Kitchen rescue
-Completely cleared 1/2 kitchen (side adjoining utility room), decluttered, swept, mopped, wiped down all surfaces
-Light clean of other half (counters and sink) to make it presentable, swept, mopped and wiped down counter tops and cupboard doors.
-Cleared and cleaned surfaces of ¾ of the fridge, and thrown out anything that was past it?s date.

Lounge room
-Tidied all toys away, sorting as I went, making use of the chest of drawers/bureau which is now in there and fixed.
-Tidied away all clean washing loitering on the sofa
- Swept, mopped, washed cotton rug.
- Dusted

Dining Room
-Decuttered 2 boxes, put away all washing, swept and mopped floor, dusted
-Frantic clearing into boxes of remaining items before nursery committee members showed up (Well I?m not perfect yet !)

To do list for tomorrow
Go through the boxes which I shoved the things from the dining room into
2 loads of washing
Tidy up of DSs? bedroom before DS1?s playdate.

Chitchat So impressed with tada list - doesn't it make you feel better when it's all sorted out! now for the routines to keep it like that (that's where I struggle )

Swan Springers are so lovely - I have a black lab now (less mud!) but I've had two springers before that and they're such fun. A baby of 4 months is more likely to come back when off the lead than a stroppy teenager-like one twice his age, but it's like looking after someone else's children - much more sense of responsibility.

Yesterday DH announced he felt well enough to go to his exercise class - first time since last summer! This is very gentle exercise geared (if the other members are anything to go by) at the 75+ age group and run by a lovely lady. All of them were delighted to see him back and he wants to go again next week . Swimming is not something I could get him to do even before he fell - he used to swim lots when young but now all the faff of getting undressed, the indignities of getting in the pool, the fact he can't lift his arms above his head... and, most of all, the fact he can't do it like he used to mean that he just doesn't want to try.

Scatty So it's not just DH? Why do people lie to you? I must be missing something here - it seems obvious to me that you and the patient are both trying to get the patient better, it's what you both want, and surely truthful cooperation is the key. DH won't answer when I ask why he does it.

Morning all,

Great news about the exercise class Honu. I think exercise is a great help in combating depression or just low moods, not to mention the physical benefits of course.

ChitChat That's a very impressive ta da list for the last three days - you're certainly on a roll.

If it's decided that DS isn't ready for school, he'd have to go to preschool for a year and start next September instead. Now that they have a preschool class within the school, it wouldn't be such an issue but the preschool was at another primary school on the other side of town until last year and I really wouldn't have wanted to have the DC at three different schools unless it was absolutely unavoidable. Not to mention the fact that I don't think that shyness = not ready for school and he'd be separated from his best friend.

WhoKnows I also can't usually be bothered to cook anything for myself after the DC have gone to bed (I eat with DH when he gets home, but he has his main meal at work) - if I've cooked something vegetarian for them, it's fine as I'll have whatever's left over, but very often I'll just do myself a boiled egg or a slice of pizza from the freezer. I think the DC have a better diet than I do... certainly a more varied one.

swan Maybe because school is so pressurised and achievement-oriented here, they need to make sure a child is up to coping with that? It's not a fail-safe system, however, and having to repeat a year isn't uncommon (one of the other year 2 teachers has suggested that a friend's DS repeats the year as she doesn't think he's emotionally mature enough, although his work is actually OK). I think it must be so demoralising for a child not to be able to move up with his/her peers, but everyone seems to be expected to work at the same pace, not cause any problems, etc etc. There's certainly no room for square pegs here.

Blue That's my plan foiled - you're not allowed to have a chest of drawers and a dressing table in your bedroom. Maybe my problem is that what I'd call a dressing table (chest of drawers with mirror on top) isn't actually a dressing table at all.

Neenook Just pop in whenever you feel like it - we're always here. Hope you're OK.

Bitchy Glad to hear you're not in too much pain; hope you can continue to get plenty of sleep.

Off to make a start on my morning routine...

morning lovely ladies! Its Friday and I am happy.

Going to collect DD at lunch from her school residential trip, hoping she had a great time... mountain of muddy laundry for me later today.

Got dogs to walk soon, but DW is unstacked and restacked from breakfast, beds made, loos swished. The rest of the house is not bad, I did some deep cleaning in the upstairs bathroom yesterday including cleaning the tiles - whole bathroom is tiled, ceiling to floor. There were parts that I couldnt reach so that is my mission for after dog walk.

Did some ironing last night as my ironing lady is having some time out (her Mum died a few weeks ago) even did a superkingsize duvet which I hate doing, but I had music on and was singing away and it got done. Maybe little and often is the key to ironing.

Hope you all have a good Friday.

Jax - the key to ironing for me is just doing the things that really need it. I do mine on Wed. lunchtime (because the boys are out) while watching Baragain Hunt! It also helps that I now have an ironing board I can lift and an accessible place to keep it...

Just for you, Linzer, continuing the dressing table tangent, what the Fat Fairy calls a "vanity" seems to live in the bathroom. I got far too sidetracked trying to research all those terms just now so better post a list and then get on instead!

To do!
Gardening
Sort out bathroom
Laundry away
Washing out
Wardrobe mission from the other day
What's for dinner?
Homebase/shopping

Jax / Blue I've virtually stopped ironing and no one has noticed! I always used to iron DH's shirts during the day (otherwise, he'd iron them in the evening) but now I put them straight back into the wardrobe (which is so full that I'm sure that just hanging there gives them creases) and am still waiting for him to say something! I hate ironing our duvet cover too, but didn't when I last washed it and it looks surprisingly OK apart from a creased bit at the bottom (but I've decided I can live with that).

Blue I'm not going to allow myself to get sidetracked by researching vanities tempted as I am. Oh, why didn't I pay any more attention to these things when we lived in the land of the Fat Fairy?

I couldn't resist after all, I'm afraid. According to this, dresser, vanity table and dressing table are all synonyms (Sense 4).