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Flinging our way through the chaos: February’s Fledgling Flyers

937 replies

LinzerTorte · 31/01/2012 08:38

Welcome to the February edition of the Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If you're living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), this is the thread for you! We follow the tips on the FlyLady website in an attempt to restore order to our homes, but advise against signing up for the e-mails; all the information you need is on this thread.

Each day, I'll be posting the links that will enable you to do any of the following:

  • start or repeat babysteps
  • repeat babysteps and do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone

or

  • reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More information about the babysteps is here.

So please join us - there's always plenty of chat, Brew, cake, encouragement and the occasional Wine to help us on our way!

OP posts:
DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 17/02/2012 13:30

Hey Bitchy hope all ok

I did so much this morning I had all the windows open but was still sweating while everyone else complained of being cold Grin

Bloody DD and her friend went into our room and left the door open so when my friend went up to use the loo she could see the state of our roomBlush

TA DA
Get up and dressed
Make beds
Put away huge pile of dcs clean clothes
Bathroom crisis clean
Take 2 laundry baskets full of toys upstairs and put away
Tidy hall
Tidy sitting room
Clear up breakfast and kitchen
Sweep downstairs
Washload on
Dress dcs
Friend over 9,30
Lunch
Clear up lunch
Get sausages out of freezer for dinner

TO DO
Get changed
Go to horses
Do friends rabbits
Home for a snack
Dinner
DCs bath and bed
Laundry
Start writing guestlist for DS's christening
Bath and wash hair
Bed

Neenook · 17/02/2012 13:57

Ok, still being rubbish....

Am going to see if hoovering the stairs inspires me Hmm

FlyingLugholes · 17/02/2012 14:54

Hello all! Sorry have been awol - life just completely hectic at the moment as have been working all the hours under the sun...

Still keeping on top of daily routines though and house is very clean and organised despite everything. Thank goodness for FLYing - it's the only thing that stops me from feeling that I can't cope!

Been having a funny week mood wise. Keep dwelling on what happened with Dad and have been very weepy. Maybe totm is due.

Fortunately have managed to do a lot of batch cooking over the last few weeks so will use up them next week which will give me a little more time...

Will try to read a few posts and reply individually later on. Back to the accounts now!

thewaffler · 17/02/2012 15:07

Neenook I'm being rubbish too, I have just finished reading 3 pages worth of missed chat, do feeling more inspired - admiration for people who poorly and still soldier on and those with tricky xp situations continuing to fly, nothing out of the ordinary here and flailing this week. Next week will be back on track. No exercise either so that may be contributing to general knackeredness.

Dd has turned into a monster, can't remember who posted last week about chicken pox, but hoping dd might be coming down with something and isn't simply entering terrible twos, which she will be officially entering next month. She's definitely not right as wanting cuddles and to be carried everywhere and crying when put down. Not sure she was poorly last weekend though at a party when she hit another child for daring to approach the toy pushchair she was eyeing up, or the pushing over of another, was mortified.

Have changed over ds wardrobe from 0-3 to 3-6 months, this excited me initially, have been given loads of clothes from friends on loan, I've labelled more clothes than could have ever imagined which lost its appeal after 2 items and now surrounded by carrier bags of 0-3 to give back, piles of clothes not keen on and stuff not season appropriate which is messing with my system.

On plus side dh currently doing some work on hallway without me nagging and even did some last night, a very pleasant surprise, let's hope it continues.

Hope you all have good weekends and hopefully I will leave the naughty corner behind me next week.....

thewaffler · 17/02/2012 15:09

sorry, crossed posts, have been awol too

ToffeeWhirl · 17/02/2012 15:52

Just did a really long post and, just as I was thinking I really must save it, I lost it Angry. So annoying. It was full of personal messages too. Grr. And had a great ta da list, as I have had a crazily busy day, with a houseful of men installing the new multi-fuel stove, children here for playdates, shopping deliveries and DH coming home to work (although I think he wishes he'd stayed at work now - it's not exactly peaceful here).

Oh well, don't have time to redo it now as DC are going to need attention in a minute.

But did want to say to Lugholes - sorry you are feeling sad about your Dad. It's perfectly natural for these feelings to come and go ((hugs)).

DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 17/02/2012 16:49

Thewaffler I have bags of next size clothes to sort through and empty DS's chest of drawers of all outgrown stuff. Luckily nobody wants their things back, so just see what is suitable and pass stuff onwards.

Just enjoying a cup of tea with (surprisingly) quiet children (new cbeebies programme!) And waiting for DH to get home.

Lifebeginsatforty · 17/02/2012 18:36

Lugholes and MummyNick TOTM definitely sucks! Hit me this week too, and suddenly it became so much clearer why I felt so stressed about everything, and why I was sleeping so badly. Plus I made so many silly mistakes last week, like booking a nursery meeting (in nursery) at the same time as my Ocado delivery Blush, and not realising until an hour beforehand this morning!

Anyhow been really struggling to keep up my routines, and last night I just CBA, but today I am determined to get the bedtime routine done before bed, because it's my turn to get up in the morning, and I want to be able to get on with the morning routines straight away so I can actually get some de-cluttering done when DH gets up.

The weather felt positively springlike today even without any sun, and I was surprised how much it lifted my mood not to get cold outside. It was actually enjoyable taking DC to the swings!

Lauren good to see you're being so positive. Hope you keep it up.

Toffee did DH really come home to work or to keep an eye on the "houseful of men" Wink? Poor him, but well done for having a ta da list even with so many people in the house.

Lugholes hope you manage to feel more positive soon.

swanthingafteranother · 17/02/2012 18:37

Lauren just to say that Facebook brings an awful lot of dirty linen out in the open (when in the past it was in the laundry basket so to speak) and I think rebound situations are very very common, so thinking him a rat is probably not best reaction (easy to turn from rat back to footman ifysim) but you just might not be suited long term for other reasons x. Or, you might be, for other reasons. Only time and his commitment will tell. And that's the best way to look at it despite all the emotions swirling around. Been there and done that, and it was horrible [more tears]

There, I've spoken "wise" thoughts, when I am desperate need of guru of my own Hmm Have failed miserably again today to be organised.
Missed dr's appt for ds1 (15 mins late, got wrong time) Missed my hygenist's appt 30 mins late, got wrong time...aaargh, and wrote it in the diary too, yet never looked at it. And debit card declined at dentist too, had to ring Dh to settle the cancellation fee Blush
Builder here all day. He has installed two cupboards, but drained last life blood of my ability to function from me, discussing hinges and rebates and blunted chisels. I've been to B & Q once (with dd, not a success) and to Homebase once (left them with builder)

Kitchen now unnavigable [needs two hours of resorting] fine layer of dust over all, stuff moved off worktops piled high.

I've resorted to oven chips. Dd is refusing all brown food. Casserole included.
Telly watching most of day. Teenage babysitter came twice today for an hour apiece.

Lugholes hope you haven't read my sorry apology for muddle and mayhem. I thought you were amazing to soldier on when you first posted, when your Dad had so recently died..it must be very hard, and getting harder. I hope your mum is managing, is there any news of the settlement? Inheritance things are so nightmarish, just when one least needs the extra stress. xx

swanthingafteranother · 17/02/2012 18:40

Toffee hope stove is working soon! Turn off the lights when the flames are flickering and enjoy it!
And admiration for turning off screens. Luckily computer didn't work without dongle (have hidden it again) but ds2 was still in his pjs at 4.00pm! He just refused to get dressed and I couldn't face arguing.

Neenook · 17/02/2012 19:27

Well...

...the hoovering of stairs turned into the landing too, which led me to the bathroom which I scrubbed to death! Downstairs is suprisingly tidy, despite two additional DC's - my friend is moving house so I'm on child duty for the day!

Still have a pile of ironing and the laundry to catch up on but feeling a bit more on top of things Smile

Lauren sounds like you are well rid of him, still hard though...

Toffee my sis has just had a stove installed and it's so good she's turned her heating off!!

Off toTelford tomorrow to take DS's to see Star Wars 3D. Cue long and confusing conversations regarding characters I know nothing aboutand whose names continually evade me. They bought me the 6 disk blu-ray box set for Xmas to educate me but it hasn't really worked! Confused

MummyNickleby · 17/02/2012 19:40

Evening all.
Oh I've not done well at all today...
Ta Da:
Ranted at Welsh Rugby shop for lack of contact regarding Legends Walk stone I spent £175 on in September and have only received a certificate for. It was Christmas present for my Dad, he was in tears on Christmas day when he read it. But I've emailed 3 times wanting an eta for it being laid at the Millennium Stadium and the replica arriving.
It'll be after the 6 nations now. Happy with that but Blimey, respond to your customers!

Rant over

Sorted a small section of paperwork and filed it (mortgage statements etc)

Slept...

Took pain killers
Took more pain killers...
Took DH to swimming lesson
Went to Sainsburys
Dragged sorry ass to pharmacy and got more pain killers!!!

Lol

I'm nearly human again now Wink

Not doing any more tonight.
Flying recommences Sunday I think Blush

laurenamium · 17/02/2012 20:10

Hiya all! DD is in bed so just doing a catch up and then off to do some paper work!

Clean out rabbit done
Laundry 1 and away done*
Deep clean bathroom
Scrub kitchen floor
Look at all this weeks missions and do the ones I need to!
Paperwork! - about to do next
Hoover later done
Sort toys into new storage I put up last night done
Arrange playroom and put bookcase in it done

linzer I hope you managed to get tax return and passports sorted!

Hope you are feeling better mummynick and bitchy, and that you are still on the mend chitchat

dedalus Grin at your door being open so visitors can see the mess! Try living in a bungalow there's literally nowhere to hide things Grin

lugholes, Sad that you are having a bad time, I hope you are feeling more positive soon- but only when you are ready!

waffler I know what you mean about being excited for changing dc wardrobes around while they are young- and having LOTS of clothes that you have to remember who's was who's! Luckily DD has a huge wardrobe as at one point she had a rail of clothes given from each friend Shock

Thank you for your wise words swan and I do see what you mean, I have no proof and it was just on facebook- which is the route of all evil in the first place anyway! I do think it's too late to fix us now though; the trust is gone and he just doesn't seem to make an effort. I just need to get used to it being just me and Indie!

Off to do paperwork now, risk assessments BBL!

LinzerTorte · 17/02/2012 20:58

Evening all,

Good luck with your paperwork lauren; I don't think I can face any more today! The tax return is done, anyway, and I've started filling in DS's passport application - plus DH took him to get his passport photos done this afternoon, so we're getting there slowly! Now just need to find someone to countersign the application. I really should try to renew DD1's passport at the same time, if only to save on return postage (?25!).

MummyNic How frustrating re your Dad's Christmas present. My Dad wrote in a letter to the DC recently about all the rugby he and my brother have been watching; DH was very envious (of the amount of time they have to watch TV; he doesn't "get" rugby!).

Neenook Enjoy Star Wars! I'm sure it will be more exciting than Yogi Bear in 3D. Grin

swan Sympathies wrt builder and discussions of hinges and the likes. I felt spectacularly incompetent when the plumber was here last week as I had no idea where to turn off the water. He then asked me to turn some kind of tap in the cellar back on and I had to phone DH to check I'd turned on the right one. Blush

If I go any further back I'll be here all night (and I suspect DH has already given up on me ever coming to bed), so will just wave to everyone else and try to catch up properly over the weekend. We're going to my ILs and DH is planning to take the DC skiing, which I'm planning to get out of. Grin

**

Saturday's links

The babystep is to read FlyLady's eleven commandments.

No mission as it's the weekend. Saturday is Family Fun Day and your reminders are here.

OP posts:
MummyNickleby · 18/02/2012 07:55

Morning all.
Bad night for me due to special week. Have taken some drugs this morning and am going to take it easy. Having a particularly bad time this month, not wholly unusual (have endometriosis) but its top of the pain scale. Last time I was as ill as this was May (had to ring my GP for emergency appointment... For when my train got in from Bath - I was stuck on a training course Blush )

So to do:
Bath
Maybe clean bathroom
Maybe do some ironing
Remain sane Wink

laurenamium · 18/02/2012 08:42

Morning! Just a list, XP is coming to take the rest of his stuff this morning so I've made sure I look extra good so he knows what he is missing! I've lost 3 inches off my waist and 2 off my hips since last measure a few weeks ago so I'm feeling confident Smile

Take DD to see my mam
Walk dogs
Clean oven
Scrub kitchen floor
Wash dog snot off insides of windows again Angry
Hoover later
Wash up/ dry/ shine sink after breakfast
Dog poo up from out the back
friend round later for a catch up

BBL!

Lifebeginsatforty · 18/02/2012 08:47

MummyNick hope you feel better today.
Bitchy hope things get better this weekend.
Well done on the tax return Linzer.
Swan remember if you haven't managed to get the kitchen sorted, just babysteps. Use your timer. Hope you have a better day today.

Ok, think I should try to write some sort of to do list:
DW
WM
clear breakfast stuff
sort dry washing and put away
get DC dressed
what's for lunch
what's for dinner
write up meeting notes from yesterday
sort at least one box of baby stuff for Nearly New Sale
15 mins of filing (this is on my list everyday and I never get to it)
menu plan till Wednesday (veggie box arrives then so I wait to see what is in it)
top up shop

So much more I could add, but really should try to have realistic expectations. Will also make effort to spend individual time with each DC as don't always manage that everyday.
BBL

Lifebeginsatforty · 18/02/2012 08:49

Sorry Xpost with Lauren. Big waves. Hope the day goes well, and you stay cheery. (You sound cheery now Grin)

Lifebeginsatforty · 18/02/2012 10:49

Update:

Ta da:
DW
WM
clear breakfast stuff
what's for lunch

To do:
sort dry washing and put away
get DC dressed
what's for dinner
write up meeting notes from yesterday
sort at least one box of baby stuff for Nearly New Sale
15 mins of filing (this is on my list everyday and I never get to it)
menu plan till Wednesday (veggie box arrives then so I wait to see what is in it)
top up shop
make soup
open parcels that have arrived this week (DH ordered worms)
read email backlog
go through nursery emails
phone DM - it's her birthday
wrap present and write card for DM (she's in France until Wed so doesn't matter that it will be late)
wrap book for cousin's baby
hang washing
evening routine

dizzyday07 · 18/02/2012 17:49

I'm back! [waves to flying friends]

Not done a lot since we got back yesterday except 2 loads of washing! I took DD to a kids session at the local cycling club this morning and it hammered it down so we both got home looking like drowned rats and soaked to the skin. The bonus was that DH had ironed some of his shirts/tops so I don't have those to do tomorrow.

We got a worrying email from DS's G/F's dad when we were away about the state of their flat (he'd had a call from the letting agent) so DD and I popped over to see DS. The flat wasn't that bad for someone who had been left with no bedding, towels, crockery or anything to cook with Shock.

But I did spend 2 hours scrubbing mould off the walls and trying to clean up the cooker - not an easy task with just a j-cloth and some Flash! His Dad is supposedly going over this weekend to collect the last of his bits so we just need for a new tenant to be found to get out of paying next months rent. DS himself seemed OK and hopefully be able to soon focus on his future.

DH is cooking this evening so I'll have a mountain of pots to clear away later!

swanthingafteranother · 18/02/2012 17:55

mummynick I feel awful too without codeine, and fine with it, but the withdrawal from codeine is something else, I feel either weird and floaty and then without it, witchlike Shock Hope you can take it easy, as you said.

DH has been Dr Jekyll again today, finished both kids' space projects with them beautifully, so that they loved doing them etc etc but I am feeling like divorcing Mr Hyde because he won't accept that BOTH halves of the kitchen need to match. New cupboards (filling blank space)look lovely so I tentatively said AGAIN could we take out the old cupboard and put matching ones on the other side of recess (I am talking CHEAP ikea cupboards not Smallbone, to replace an existing MDF construction) NO, fisherman's wife syndrome, what's wrong with the existing cupboard, it's only been there 13 years etc etc..

Anyway, the mismatched kitchen is at least tidy now. Spent 3 hours sorting it all out yesterday. What galls me is that the thought that we could sell this house tomorrow (in fact that may be the only solution to all this arguing Wink and new owners would immediately do what I've been begging Dh to let me do for years, because it is not rocket science to see that you need a sink next to the cooker!!!! Or else the kitchen in another part of the house completely. Aargh.

Meanwhile...Cooked tuna pasta for lunch, flapjacks for tea
Children played badminton outside
dd had major strop in morning about this and that, but she is fine now, but reduced me to tears certainly...Sad Toxic atmosphere is rubbing off on her I guess.

Lauren hope you get through xp visit, I would be quaking, just remember long term. long term.

Life worms! ah... for compost?

waves to everyone else, I suppose I had better do some more tidying up after the space project, although it all seems v orderly when Dh does it! Grin

ToffeeWhirl · 18/02/2012 19:41

Tricky today. Had made appointment for DS1 to see hairdresser (to correct my sorry snipping) and had carefully checked with him twice to make sure he felt he could go. However, when the hour came he exploded into a tearful, shouty tantrum. It is so awful to be shouted at Sad. Came down to find DH with his head in his hands.

Tried to tidy house before MIL came round for lunch and managed to cook a reasonably presentable roast, in spite of feeling miserable. Played a game called, I think, "Don't Say That!" after lunch, which cheered me up no end (DS1 to DS2: It's something you walk on. DS2 to DS1: Sewing machine! Confused Grin). However, DS1 couldn't cope with the game and walked out .

Took DS2 to library this afternoon whilst DH drove MIL home, but DH cross with me because that meant leaving DS1 on his own for nearly an hour. DS is 12. He won't go out at all anymore because of his anxiety. I can't stand being stuck in the house all day every day (whereas DH goes out to work), and neither can DS2 (who was running round the sitting room, desperate to release energy). Is it unreasonable to leave a 12-year old alone for an hour (he can ring me on my mobile whilst I'm out)? Said 12-year old very happy to be left, btw. Anyway, DS2 and I had a lovely time in the library choosing books and came back to find DS1 watching telly happily.

Feeling exhausted by DS1's anxiety issues, to be honest. DH and I resorted to Wine and chat this evening. Not often that we get to talk without DC present.

Anyway, DS2's bath is ready, so must go.

Lifebeginsatforty · 18/02/2012 20:30

Poor you Toffee. It really sounds like things with DS1's anxiety are getting gradually worse. It must be hard for you and DH, I hope you can keep talking about it. I think it is perfectly reasonable to leave DS1 for an hour or so at a time, and allows him to show some normal responsibility for himself. It's not at all healthy for you or DS2 to be stuck at home day in, day out. I really hope you can get the help you need. Have some Wine.

LinzerTorte · 18/02/2012 21:15

Just popping in from my ILs to post the links and catch up quickly with everyone. We arrived this morning, DH took the DC out skiing this afternoon so I got to work in peace, and we went out for a lovely meal at our favourite Indian restaurant this evening (plus ordered some food to take away for the freezer, which we didn't have to pay for Smile).

Toffee So sorry to hear about your DS's anxiety issues - it must be incredibly difficult for you and the rest of the family. I think it's absolutely fine to leave him at home for an hour or so, especially if he's quite happy to be left. It's not uncommon here to leave 8 or 9 year olds for that long, incidentally (one of my friends told me recently that she leaves her 8 year old for a couple of hours while she goes shopping, and she's also trained her 2 year old to wait in the car on her own while she pops into shops etc. Shock).

swan Sympathies re kitchen, Jekyll and Hyde DH, and stroppy DD - all of those would reduce me to tears as well.

dizzy My parents used to clean our flat when they came to stay with us; I think I just had a blind spot where cleaning was concerned prior to the DC. Blush Although I don't remember them having to do any mould removal or oven scrubbing; I hope it's appreciated!

Lifebegins I actually used to have one-to-one time with the DC written down as part of my routines - and probably need to reintroduce it. It shouldn't feel like a "to do", but it can so easily get overlooked otherwise.

lauren Glad to hear you sounding more positive. I hope your ex realises what he's missing.

MummyNic Poor you; I hope the drugs kicked in quickly.

**

Sunday's links

Just the babystep today, no mission (as usual on a Sunday). Kelly's testimonial is supposed to be inspirational, but a few of us have actually found it quite depressing on previous threads and aren't sure we want a home like that anyway, so feel free to ignore!

Sunday is the day to renew your spirit. Here are your reminders.

OP posts:
MummyNickleby · 18/02/2012 22:09

Evening Smile
Toffee: sorry to read about DS1, not at all unreasonable to leave him for an hour, it'll do you all good to have time / spec to yourselves.

Feeling in control again. Up on 30mg of codeine so the pain is manageable, but the legs are a little weak Wink
I shall be on a come down on Monday Blush

Well I actually ended up with a very productive day:
Went back to bed for an hour (DH took DS out)
Midday bath!
Goddaughter (18) came over and entertained DS

Tidied lounge
Found DS's bedroom floor
Dusted both
Vacuumed all through
Thorough clean of bathroom
Rescued kitchen
Emptied bin & recycling
Changed DS's sheets
2 loads of washing

Grin

Only going to iron tomorrow now.

Happy with all that!