Calling all hoarders out there......why?

[muriel76]

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

Right, finally finished the bulk of the contact/address/birthday/anniversary syncing with calendar :)

Good job, I did it...as I thought I had all the cards ready for the next two months but I had missed three dates. So I have two cards for the post today and three more too buy, then I will be sorted up to August.

Off to PO and to pick children up from school.

Have no naff all this week. Need to get started!

Erm... done naff all.

I did nothing today either. Just tea and chat with a mum from school and her cuddly little baby :)

Right I have been very busy with the children but tomorrow, I am back to the decluttering grindstone. I have a tub to sort winter/summer hats, gloves and scarfs etc To replace the overflowing cardboard box, hiding behind my hall curtain. That shouldn't take long, so Monday AM job.

I have two main aims this week.

1. Sort out garden toys, throw some and clean the rest.
2. Declutter living room by sorting out various drawers in living room (x 11) and reduce children's craft stuff to a more practical smaller tub.

Wish me luck in this heat...I am waddling around like a 6 months pregnant beached whale !

PS. Still battling the laundry and ironing, I think they are winning ;)

:) My aim this week is to do lots!!! I have to. I'm also looking out for some clothes to send a Mnetter's Dd in need, so that'll get shot of a few bits I hope!! Sending off some shoes too for someone else :) all good!!

Solo, how are things going ?

I have done very little, baby moving too much and I have been lazy.

But tomorrow, if it stops raining the children and I will be sorting out the back garden....or rather they will be playing and muggins here will be clearing the toys ! I will report back if I get anything done.

Hi Babies :)

I am teased I am a hoarder too... I don't think soo... I'm just very unorganized!!!

Yes, I dread when people knock on the door, as I really don't want them coming in.... unless I have been in their house... lol... I have a few friends that I would gladly invite over, just because their home is like mine... CLUTTERED...

I do have a hard time throwing out my kids school projects or pictures they made...

I do have a problem throwing out clothes. I would bag them up for the 2nd hand store and gladly take them there!

I don't like throwing out things that could be usefull someday...

I do have to admit thought, my "thoughts of this would be nice outside as a yard decoration" has me worried! Oh, well, I'm excited about finding an interest to do, and if it makes me happy, and doesn't hurt anyone, why nOT??

I do feel GREAT when I am in the cleaning MOOD, and get rid of things...and clean up.... sooo, how can I be a hoarder then? lol

Welcome to the thread Mother2many :)

When I can bring myself to start clearing some section of my clutter I do quite enjoy throwing things out just need to keep going until my house is clear.

I had a busy day here. Looks like I've not touched it, but I have! will endeavour to keep going :)

Yeah Solo, every bit we finish gets us closer to a uncluttered home :)

I have still not got around to doing the garden, might try again today/tomorrow, whilst the kids are on half term.

I have hoarding tendencies and often keep things if I think they may be useful later. For example, I kept the long bolts that came out of the sofa bed that I had to send to recycling about 6 years ago. This weekend, we hired a floor sander. When we came to assemble it we found that a vital bolt was completely shot, rendering the sander unusable. We couldn't take the sander back to the hire shop as it is closed until Wednesday. Fortunately, one of the bolts I had kept from the sofa was exactly the right size!

Hoarding win.

Thanks...It's nice to be able to read others stories and to vent of my own issues! Many times I find some of my things I save...come in useful too! :) I am a terrible gardener...can grow things if my life depended on it! I would like to attempt a rock garden type thing...

My doors are always open to you all! :) (as I push, papers to create clean spot for coffee cup)

:) It does help to know you aren't the only one doesn't it? but I still wouldn't let anyone into my house just yet.

I need to sort my loft out so that I can put things away in an organised manner. The last time I 'sorted' my loft, I was 8 months pg with Dd; it was a huge squash! , but I have no storage space here and I've got a two bedroomed house with an almost 14yo Ds and a 5yo Dd and they share a room; it's not ideal and means that Dd's toys get shoved around the place a lot and Ds's books are overflowing the shelves as are mine ! I'm still aiming to swap rooms and split mine into two for them, but I need a sliding door system to create a moving wall, laminate flooring for my new room and loads of energy to get it all done. It feels overwhelming.

Thistledew, I was torn between cheering 'Yeah' and crying 'Nooooo' when I hear your bolt story. It is great that you found a use for the bolts, it really makes me smile when I find a use for one of my kept treasures.

However I have finally learnt the amount of stuff I keep and NEVER use outweighs the useful stuff by a mile. Better I declutter and risk having to go out and rebuy something I chucked than keep it all just in case, I have done that for too many years already ;)

Mother2many, I'm a terrible gardener too, luckily we moved to a house which has a totally paved back garden. All I have to battle are weeds which grow between the paving stones and the general rubbish/children toys (which I STILL have not started on but I will soon)

Solo, Live your plans. You will do it, one step at a time.

Speaking of laminate my ace DH is just finishing off the edging of our new downstairs floor. I had to wait 6 years for it but finally the nasty yucky carpet is out of the house :) So we are a bit upside down downstairs, but that is to be expected whilst decorating. We hope to get straight again in the next week or so.

Oh I'm envious that you have a Dh someone to 'do' for you Babies I really am.
I've spent over 2 years planning and gathering the things needed and wanted for our new spaces, but I still need quite a bit, plus the money to buy it all... then I have to DO IT! but you can imagine no you really can't the extra stuff I've gathered is all in the way until it's actually done

I am so lucky with DH, he even mends cars ! He really is ace, he spent this long weekend and last weekend. Moving furniture, painting walls and paintwork, laying 30 square metres of laminate and is now working on the edging. It is looking so much better.

I have just finished tidying the bathroom & children's room. I normally nag encourage the children to do it whilst I help but I felt so off colour that it was quicker and easier to do it myself.

Just need to unload and reload dishwasher, load up washing machine hang out clothes (or shove in dryer), sweep new living floor and then I can get the beads out for the children to play with whilst I read Mumsnet ;) See you later.

My mother is an absolutely shocking hoarder and she blames being a war child and growing up with rationing. However I think this is absolute nonsense given that she is incredibly wasteful with money and also with food. It's just a convenient excuse for her that she thinks no one will argue with. The real reason, I believe is because she is chronically sentimental, and she extends her sentimentality to inanimate objects. She also finds buying and owning things an emotional crutch - almost like comfort eating - that she uses to deal with an unhappy life. Understandable, but it's actually very damaging to her. Her stuff is so excessive and such a burden (practically) and such a fixation (emotionally) that it consumes her whole life (I think this may be deliberate, as it enables her to avoid reality). She constantly complains about being too busy, and indeed she never really sits down, relaxes, or enjoys herself, even though she doesn't work and has no hobbies. She's just got herself into this trap where she pretends she needs to spend her whole life 'tidying' or 'decluttering' or 'sorting the house out' but although she spends hours moving objects from one place to another, she never actually gets anywhere.

It terrifies me. My house is bare and I keep very little in a direct effort to make sure I never end up like this.

DH is a hoarder and his dad is also a hoarder. It's on his side of the family not mine!! I really cannot stand it. It has caused arguments in the marriage in the past. I try to relax about it these days (as long as most of it is in the loft, or hidden away!).

Well serene it is like comfort eating and needs to be handled gently and with compassion. You can only support your Mum and maybe offer to help her, but with understanding...no good just throwing things out when she's not looking as she'll be emotionally affected by that. She'll know!

I have never thrown anything of hers away without her knowing...somewhat by the comment.

And yes, I know it needs to be handled gently and with compassion. Sadly my mother has many issues and refuses anything that might imrove her life. She is too fond of blaming everyone and everything for the way she has made her life.

Sorry if I'm being defensive and your post wasn't meant critically, it just sounds like you're saying I'm dealing with her in the wrong way when I haven't given any information about how I deal with her.

I meant if you help her to have a sort out...? not sure why the confusion over what I wrote. I was just suggestion that if you offered to help her and she did accept, that you must be gentle and understanding. It might be tempting to bag a load up and disappear it iyswim?

but would cause her anguish...

Ok, fairy nuff. I guess it just seems so obvious that of course you wouldn't throw someone's stuff out while they weren't looking, hence my thinking it seemed an odd thing to say in response to my post.