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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Calling all hoarders out there......why?

916 replies

muriel76 · 10/08/2011 17:10

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 31/08/2011 12:55

I like the idea of cremating the eiderdown, but i'm guessing it's probably full of noxious chemicals Grin

I took a photo of it.

posh bossy WI ladies are not good. if it tastes old, better to ditch it then! Grin

ungrateful - they always look worse before they look better, believe me, our house looked like a bomb had hit it when we started!

Solo · 31/08/2011 15:17

Just delivered a big bag of clothing to the charity shop.

Poshbaggirl · 31/08/2011 17:52

Solo, did they looked pleased?

There's talk of these charity door collections being a rip off, so getting the bags actually to the charity is defo the best thing to do. I'm going to a really dodgy car boot on sun where there are apparently loads of european workers who love clothes bargains. So we're gonna see how we get on at £1 a piece. Sometimes charity begins at home!

Although it'sschool the next day we HAVE to keep the momentum going! Feeling so strong! So once again thanks guys!! XXX

Babieseverywhere · 31/08/2011 22:18

Solo, You go girl :)

Ungratefulchild, Don't worry about it looking worse when you started to clear up. I reckon the first 95% of clearing a room, is hard work and it seems to make little/no difference. The magic happens when you pick up the last few bags and hoover and suddenly the room looks better.

I have been slogging away again.

Mainly laundry, just having a break from ironing still got half a bag of ironing to do. Three baskets of stuff to rehang out again tomorrow and iron when dry. One load in and two more to do.

DH bless him moved two bookcases around build one little bed for kids room and dismantled another and popped it in the attic.

Still so much to do, sigh :( Most urgently need to get the for sale or charity stuff out of my house before they find themselves back in use.

Poshbaggirl · 31/08/2011 22:56

Babies, you must be exhausted! Doesnt it make a difference when the weather is dry and blowy! Smile

Solo · 01/09/2011 01:41

:) that's 7 bags of clothing I've got shot of so far!!! and there's going to be more!!! Shock

Babieseverywhere · 01/09/2011 16:01

Solo, Wow, bet your feeling lighter loosing 7 bags of clothes and doing a good thing for charity. :)

I have decided to take my books to a local book shop Friday/Monday to sell them what they want to buy. They pay up to 50p per book and I have over 200 too sell and charity shop the rest.

I am also going to use Magpie to sell our unwanted DVD's. They don't pay much between 30p and £3 per DVD, majority are coming back at 30p. But any money we can raise will be our Christmas present money, so better 30p than zero.

I did look at Ebay and consider a car boot sale. But for a number of reasons they wouldn't be practical and Ebay requires keeping the stock here for another week or more and I need them out of the house so I can work on the next pile of crap beloved items.

On a good point my parents visited today, last visit over a week ago and were speechless at the improvements :) Which made me feel better as all I can see is the stuff I have left to do, I have forgotten what it was like even a week ago.

Solo · 01/09/2011 16:51

Chame it's not a lb less on me foe each bag of clothing!!!

You've done so well Babies :) you should be proud!!! I wont let anyone into my house so it will be a fanfare day on the day that I can!!!

Been sorting out more clothes today. It's a job and a half!

Solo · 01/09/2011 16:52

Chame?!! Hmm I think I'm going bonkers!!! SHAME of course!

Babieseverywhere · 01/09/2011 21:54

I don't feel proud, I feel bad that I let it get so bad. I still cleaned a lot just to keep my house passable but cleaning around and under clutter is so hard. My now decluttered kitchen is a doddle to clean. :(

Plus I haven't started on the clothes yet. But Solo, you are inspiring me to start on Monday and I will do it. :)

Solo · 01/09/2011 21:58

Babies I am ashamed of my house and myself for allowing it to get to this stage. I'm sure my children would be taken away from me if anyone saw it right now. Getting rid of so many clothes is just the start for me, but I really can't see a difference right now, even though on average, each bag must've weighed in excess of a stone each! (yes, I did weigh one to see!).

Anyway, onwards and upwards! :)

Poshbaggirl · 02/09/2011 06:33

How come we're in chat? I thought we'd been moved to good housekeeping?

TheHumanCatapult · 02/09/2011 07:26

I find moving regulary make me pretty ruthless on the hoarding front .

But I was married to a man that horded and hand on heart have to say it was really hard i banished all his stuff into the attic .Could not understand why old school books kepe and bits of things and then well ill keep that just in case it came in handy attitude and buying of books he never read with a maybe one day attitude and lots and lots of oranments and he buy more

Same with thinsg that wer ebroke or chipped that he was going to fix one day

But his family were pretty cold emtionally wise and did not do hugs etc so maybe that was part of the reason I dont know

But when we split I went through house very ruthless and it did feel good to chuck load sof crap .( not totally heartless had given him chance to take his stuff from attic and boxed up all the other crap he had squirreled away and gave him choice to pick up within a week or I ditch it .

Lexilicious · 02/09/2011 09:12

Yeah I noticed that too PBG, maybe HQ changed their mind.

I had someone come yesterday evening to pick up the futon I've just sold on ebay. Nice lady, mum of the actual buyer, first words were "is this ebay or freecycle?! My daughter does a lot of both." But the futon was to house the au pair she's employing for her twins so I feel all nice about someone using a thing I've no space for. I might even tell my (nice) ex-bf who left this futon with me when he emigrated to Oz, that it's now gone to a family. Wouldn't it be oddly circular if the au pair was Australian!

No contact yet from the buyer of my wardrobes - auction ended Monday night, should I raise a dispute? go to second chance offers? They are in the way of me getting at the next big items to go (pair of vintage ikea reclining swivel chairs with footstools) and once they're gone DH can get cracking on the box of cables and the DIY equipment.

I was thinking the other day, I wonder if they'll do a "one year later" sort of update on that TV programme about Jasmine's mum. Would be good to see if they get through the rest of the house.

Solo · 02/09/2011 09:51

Lex I think it's too too soon to raise a dispute. Have you invoiced them? drop them a line. I sold a really old sewing machine on ebay this year and I had no contact for ages despite contacting her several times. Turned out that her mother had died. She collected very soon after she got back.

nickelbabe · 02/09/2011 11:11

that's weird Confused

maybe the OP asked to be moved back.

tothemoonandback · 02/09/2011 11:53

I am a ruthless chucker outer and delight in a free afternoon which i can spend sorting out and chucking out. I hate clutter and hate stuff just hanging around 'just in case'. I am so far the other way! I'm not a big shopper either so don't buy more stuff to replace what I've chucked out. I just have what I need and that suits me fine.

Poshbaggirl · 02/09/2011 17:56

We all want to be just like you tothemoon

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 03/09/2011 11:34

@Poshbaggirl

How come we're in chat? I thought we'd been moved to good housekeeping?

Hello. Have absolutely no idea why this thread has reverted to Chat - how odd.

Am moving it back to Good Housekeeping now. We can't have it disappearing - I need serious help with my hoarding tendencies!

nickelbabe · 03/09/2011 11:58

Thanks Helen! Grin

tothemoon - my ex was a chucker-outer.
It only seemed to apply to my stuff, though Hmm
he had soooo much electronic junk "that might come in handy", but my stuff was crap and clutter that needed to be got rid of....

not that I'm comparing you to him, it just resonated Grin

ChippingIn · 03/09/2011 12:41

Wow - you are all doing brilliantly :) I am really impressed!!

I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to get done (housework, paperwork - other boring things!!) and catching up on this thread was making me feel very guilty for sitting on my bum MNing while there was so much needing doing - so I stopped and did a lot of stuff & I'm now allowing myself a small break :) So, thanks for the kick up the bum!

Solo - don't feel bad about the way it was, feel good about what you are doing now :) You have cleared out so much, I really am incredibly proud of you you know. You are lovely - there's no way they'd take your children away because life hit you hard and you let things get out of hand. But now you don't have to even think about that - because you have taken control of the situation! You are being very strong and very soon (if not already) you will see the rewards of no longer hoarding things.

ChippingIn · 03/09/2011 12:45

Lexi - I would send them a message today, saying that if they don't contact you by x time tomorrow you will be relisting/going to second offer etc. They have had a week which is longer than eBay states you need to give them (well last time I looked it was 3 or 4 days - you might need to check). It's a shame if something has happened but generally it's just people being slack. If something big has happened in their lives which means they haven't been on eBay, not getting your wardrobes is going to be the least of their problems really isn't it.

ChippingIn · 03/09/2011 12:50

Dueling - I think there is a balance between keeping too much and getting rid of everything you don't use. You can also keep stuff you love & that is really important to you. What you don't need to keep is tat (used loo rolls, magazines, newspapers, empty plastic containers), clothes you wont fit into again or will never, ever wear, and stuff that is easily replaceable if you do ever actually need it. Books - I love books and find it hard to part with them, but there's little point in keeping 'show' books that you don't love and wont read - just because it's a book. Someone else could enjoy that book rather than it just getting dusty on your bookshelf :)

Lexilicious · 03/09/2011 12:58

wardrobes gone and I can really see the way through now... although i'm kicking myself for not asking the guy to make me snap offer on the chairs and footstool after he said he actually buys and sells on furniture. He'd come in a big van so he probably could have taken them right then.

We cut down DS's toy stock by about half last week (no books were hurt in the making of this toybox space !) and some will be given to friends at end Sept. rest to charity.actually I tell a lie, there are some board book in there which he's grown out of.

still have less floor space available than is occupied though, in the Room of Shame. Target is Christmas for being clear. Don't know when we can aim to be redecorated.

Lexilicious · 03/09/2011 13:02

chipping it was five days since sale ended, and he'd bid because he knew he was going to be down this way at a car boot sale. wish he'd let me know earlier in the week though - he called this morning at 0740!! phone wasn't on anyway!

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