It's August - can the Fledglings keep FLYing with children underfoot?!

[BlueEyeshadow]

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome to August's edition of the Fledgling Flyers,
Meine Damen, Mesdames, Ladies! (although any Herren, Messieurs and Gentlemen would be very welcome too, I'm sure, and apologies for the show tunes now lodged in everyone's heads ...)

If you're trying to keep out of CHAOS over the summer holidays, with the dear children creating havoc all around, then pull up a chair, roll up your sleeves and join in the fun.

Fly Lady's website is here, but we don't recommend signing up for the emails unless you want an ironically cluttered inbox. I'll post the links to the information for every day this month and try to keep up with all the chat.

There are babysteps to get you started on forming a routine, and missions to do once each room is decluttered and, as the Fat Fairy says, it's amazing what you can do in fifteen minutes. We'll be starting August in the entrance, front porch and dining room, and sifting the sense from the cutesy language. :)

I notice from the archive that it's the thread's second birthday so I'm sure there'll be cake as well as plenty of , and - virtual, so no calories - along the way. Finally, a big thank you to CHB and Swan for leading us heroically through a hectic July!

Morning all.

Reasonably productive so far:
ta da!
washing on
boys to CM
dropped a box of clothes hangers at the charity shop
Aldi shopping & putting away
Washing out and on line
Work emails and invoice done
Kitchen cupboard. Found a tin of spaghetti 10 years out of date!
Swept floor.

to do
Read new text for translation
hoover
mop floors
tidy desk & filing
declutter spare room/office
collect boys
cook tea
work out their hours at CM for Sept...

Better get on then. BBL.

Not much progress with FLYing here, thanks to my children. They have had friends round to play this morning, which involved lots of input and negotiation from me, and now it's just the two of them and they are play-fighting (at least, I think that's what it is ) downstairs. I have retreated to the bedroom to eat my lunch in relative peace. Not quite sure what to do with them next. It looks as if it's about to start raining, so the playground is out of the question. This is one of those times when I wish times hadn't changed and I could just open the door and pack them off into the countryside for the day.

Messy - glad to hear your DH is doing OK at this worrying time (and you too, Nicknacks).

Blue - at spaghetti 10 years out of date! That cupboard really did need a clean, didn't it? Btw, my mum would probably eat that spaghetti. She always thinks I make too much of a fuss over out-of-date food.

All quiet downstairs now. DS2 is having half an hour on the computer; DS1 is meant to be reading, but he's staring into space instead.

I've posted this as a seperate post, but thought some of you guys might be able to help either,

I'm in big trouble here! Dd1, stuck her fingers in the crack when the door is open and got black oil all over her fingers from the hinge. SHE WIPED HER HAND ON THE WALL!!*
How am I going to clean it? We're renting so don't want to try anything unless I know it'll work :)
I'm relying on you guys here!! x

Today has been much better,
Dd's friend appeared at 8am (shock] prearranged, just I'd forgotten,
they made their packed lunches (at last!) and went off to Sports till now, we pottered around not doing much for about four hours, then went for long walk to Ealing to look for QPR teeshirts (no luck), art for kitchen walls (success! not sure what dh will think though - probablly say it is splodge city) and for some reason we managed to acquire more books from Oxfam (oh dear I can't say Dh is to blame on this one - however as they are annuals, I will be able to recycle them quite swiftly)

House is so much tidier, I can actually potter in it without wanting to scream...

Toffee at ds2 and Handful of Dust.

better go and pick up dd and her friend now.

Messy - order this, maybe? To be honest, I have no idea if this would get oil off the wall, but it does work like magic on most marks.

Swan - glad you've had a better day.

Not doing so well this afternoon. Fell asleep upstairs whilst DS was having his 'half hour' on the computer - he ended up having much more . Am feeling better now, but guilty.

Just flying by!

Messy - I would try a dab of washing up liquid on a soft cloth. That is what I use when DH who is old enough to know better gets oil off his bike and onto walls, carpets, anything really. Also cheap option and doesnt do any harm if it doesnt work.

Swan sounds like a good day!

TOffee Dont feel guilty. I am sure DS enjoyed himself!

I am leaving everyone here to fend for themselves for the weekend and escaping alone. Needing to pack a bag tonight. Very early work tomorrow (be there by 6am) so that I can finish in time to get the boat. Must get organised!
Not much done today. I had an eye test done today and am suffering from shock at the price I need to pay for new lenses. I need to break the news to DH later. Back next week to choose some nice trendy frames, I couldnt cope with it today after spending 2 hours in the place.

I probably wont be back on until after the weekend, so have a good one everyone!

I've sneaked upstairs to recharge myself, and am astonished to find how tidy my bedroom is - ahh balm to the soul.
Unfortunately, I now have to return downstairs and do multiple chores.
Dd's friends came round after sports and their lovely mum, so I chatted, but unfortunately it meant that my catchup time was cancelled out (was planning to watch Rango DVD peacefully at 4.45 pm with three children, but didn't like to put telly on when there are guests)

so feelling now out of kilter,
baked potatoes remains,
soup making fest wthh ds1 (in attempt to stop him watching telly),
feltips (tropical forest drawings) all over kitchen table with tops off dd meltdown because I sent her picture off with the friend (didn't realise they were both sharing the same picure
Dh back home grumbly at "worn out wife expression" again. He liked one picture I bought though, so that is something.

need to unload dw, clearup
serve dh his ready meal which said "microwave only" and I don't have a microwave
sink
washup various saucepans from soup

Don't want to see any friends tomorrow AT ALL.

Toffee and Blue two sons is a handful. I've now looked after both sons unrelentingly for what seems like weeks, dd is constantly off playing with other people, but I am sorely tempted to send ds2 on a Drama course next week, as I think I am reaching daytime "son" saturation. Ds1 so wants to do activities but unfortunately he can't with cast, Ds2 just wants to "play with my cars" but I think he needs some structured social life which he is not really getting at the moment what with one thing and another...And I think I need a break!

Just a quickie.

Crap day.

DH trying to work out how to disconnect old fridge freezer in preparation for new one arriving tomorrow (subdued yay to that!) so kitchen is a tip.

DS hates me. Screaming fit when he woke from his nap, picked him up and he screams louder, only calms for DH and then screams anytime I pick him up. So depressed about this and DH is being no bloody help saying things like "oh, it's normal" etc. It may be blooming normal but it's depressing and makes my chest hurt because DS doesn't want me.

Going to bed to quietly sob my heart out sleep.

FLYing can wait. CBA.

Ah Fuzzled very unmumsnetty hugs.

I know it won't make you feel any better but i have the exact opposite problem with DD. She only wants me and screams bloody murder when i need DH to take over. Won't go to anyone without sobbing till she falls asleep and she's permanently attached to my hip. It's physically, mentally and emotionally draining and some days i could cheerfully sell her to a passer by.

Flying has gone ok today :)

Mission accomplished!
Given blood!
Morning and evening routines done!
Load of washing done!
Holiday packing lists written!
Food shop for holiday done!

Can i also join the 'mum of two boys club'? As brothers go mine get on very well but have spent too much time together now and tensions are running high with lots of 'He looked at me with both eyes!' and 'His hair touched my aura' blah blah blah.

Just watching the soaps (Sky+) and then off to bed. See you tomorrow!

Not much Flying today, but I am the proud owner of a brand new front door, which is a considerable improvement on it's predecessor. Today didn't go altogether to plan, due to the weather tennis camp was cancelled, so the DCs were at home all morning with ILs while door was being fitted. DD went round to her friends house for the afternoon, DS spent most of the day watching telly.

DS is veering from devil to angel at the moment, was foul to me this morning and earned himself a slapped wrist from Grandma as a result. Was immaculately behaved tonight. He is pushing his boundaries a lot at the moment, it is very difficult to deal with him at times, anything I say just gets turned back at me. Trying to do a lot of rewarding the good stuff anyway, and I guess we will get through it.

Need to get off the computer, I feel a bit rude sitting through here MNing while the ILs are in the other room. See you tomorrow.

Oh Fuzzled, you poor thing. What your DH said about it being normal is very true, but I know it doesn't make you feel any better.

I have the same problem as DS is completely uninterested in me when DH is around, wants DH to do everything for him, wants to be wherever DH is, etc. Tbh though, I don't really see it as a problem as I'm quite happy to have a break from DS at times!

It sounds like your DS is a little younger, however, so I can see that it would probably be more upsetting. It certainly doesn't mean that your DS hates you; it's just that he's totally focused on one parent for the time being. You may well have a mummy's boy a few years down the line (or even sooner) and will be wishing that DH could take him off your hands for a while! Please don't take it to heart; it's absolutely no reflection on you as a parent. ((hugs))

Hello!

I managed to do my work and hoovering but no filing or decluttering (again!). Cooked a good stew though and have a cleanish kitchen.

Round up time:
Linzer popped in and then disappeared mysteriously?
Sorry to hear about your ankle CHB. I hope you can use the time for other projects.
Toffee has finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nobody in this family much likes tinned spaghetti or I probably would at least open the tin and see if it?s still OK! I guess that?s why it?s 10 years old. Wonder where it came from??!
MM was feeling calmer in a tidy bedroom :) but wondering how to get oil off the wall. Washing up liquid is generally good for oily stains on clothes so PA might be on to something!
Swan has been enjoying tidiness ? hope you can recapture that and banish out-of-kilterness.
PA is escaping for the weekend ? have a lovely time.
Fuzzled ((hugs)) and coming over. Wishing you a better day tomorrow.
NickNacks is flying high. at ?he looked at me with both his eyes?! Well done on giving blood too. I haven?t managed that since DS1 was born.
WhoKnows has a shiny new front door and a boundary-pushing DS ? yay for the door and sympathies for the boy!

Here come the links:
Babystep ? can definitely be ignored if you haven?t signed up for her emails!
Mission (when it updates): Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

*
We have no plans for tomorrow yet. DH is off so should do something en famille. I should also be working though. Hmm. Anyway, my eyes are glazing over so night all!

Can't believe the peace I'm enjoying right now - they are all asleep, every single one of them - DS1, DS2 and DH. Whoopee!

Utterly exhausting day dealing with the boys. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with the two-boy scenario, Swan, Nicknacks and Blue. It's the physical stuff that's getting me down. Today, DS2 and his friend decided to goad DS1 by running in and out of his room. In the end, DS1 'kneed' DS2 in the chest and winded him . This evening, DS1 and I had a long, long chat about it and he was genuinely upset by what he'd done and said he felt really guilty - he even kissed DS2 goodnight and whispered that he promised never to hurt him again - but why on earth did he do it in the first place? He could have just come to me if he couldn't stop two five-year olds bothering him. I am incredibly strict about no hitting etc and usually they comply. But I think sharing a small space for several weeks is getting to them both.

I may resort to violence too in a short while...

This evening, DH came home to chaos, as the boys were fighting each other with plastic spatulas . I took them out and we played chase and 'it' in the local playground until dinnertime. This seemed to do the trick. I suppose at least it keeps me fit too.

As a result, I really haven't done much in the house today, although I have managed to wash up, put away and have a shiny sink by bedtime. Today's list now becomes tomorrow's list instead.

PA - hope you have a good weekend on the mainland.

Swan - only four more weeks of the holiday to get through...

Fuzzled - your son doesn't hate you. Both my sons would cry and cry when they woke from their naps. With DS1, I couldn't cuddle him because he would struggle with me and cry even more. The only thing I could do was leave him until he'd calmed down, even though it went against my instincts. I tried letting him sleep as long as he wanted, then I tried waking him up earlier, but nothing worked. He still screamed. It's awful, but it will pass.

Nicknacks - you made me laugh with your 'I could cheerfully sell her to a passerby' and 'He looked at me with both eyes'. You are right about the DC having spent too much time together so that tensions are high. I feel like a referee at the moment.

WhoKnows - glad you have a nice, new frontdoor. I see you are another one struggling with a tricky boy. Like yours, mine are both pushing the boundaries at the moment. After telling DS1 he could not watch 'Alien vs Predator' or 'Family Guy', I discovered he had recorded both. Tsk tsk. Needless to say, I deleted them. I keep meaning to sort out a reward chart, but, in the meantime, you're right about focusing on the positive.

Blue - work, hoovering, stew and cleanish kitchen sounds like quite an achievement to me, especially during the school holidays!

Linzer - did you have a nice lunch with your old school friend?

Off to order DS1's school uniform online now - without interruption, which will be a blessed relief. Night all.

Evening all

Sorry too busy to get online for last two days. Interview went well, its unpaid and voluntary but will help me to learn more about sen. DDs hospital not so well, she has suspected glue ear and back in 3 months.

Well nothing done today. Was up a 6am for train to York to sit in a seminar all day and didn't return til after 7pm. About an hour ago was about to go to bed when dd threw up everywhere. Now have bedding on bath waiting to be washed and dd in bef with dh cuddling. I am downstairs on settee. Was supposed to be going to gym and swimming tomorrow but guess we'll be changing that

Just flying by before DS and DD2 wake up - oh no, too late.

Back later!

Bad night following a bad day.

Doesn't look like anything will be resolved so FLYing going to take a back seat along with MNet and any semblence of a life.

Thanks for the chat while I was here.

Right, I shall try again... not that I have much in the way of FLYing to report. I did help my mum declutter two drawers in the kitchen and her plastic container collection yesterday, however, so was even - coincidentally - in the right zone.

Toffee Lunch was lovely, thank you - well, the meal was really nice and it was great to see my friend again. However, the DC were playing up, constantly interrupting and generally making it difficult for me both to eat (DS wanted to sit on my lap and for me to feed him his lunch before I'd finished my own) and have an uninterrupted conversation. We're planning to meet up again next week and I'm very tempted to leave the DC at home next time!

DC demanding my attention, so must go. Waves to all.

Fuzzled - stay for the chat. You don't have to be FLYing. I think if you are in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) you qualify! I'm sorry you had a crap night as well. Lack of sleep makes everything so much harder. I don't mean to reduce everything to the mundane, but you will probably feel better once the new fridge freezer is delivered and you've had a chance to sort out your kitchen. Could you get out with your DS to meet a friend in the park/playground at some point? Getting away from the house helps, especially when you are looking after a young child.

Linzer - is your mum impressed by your decluttering skills? I'm glad you had a nice lunch although I sympathise about the DC. Have had the same thing myself. My children hate me nattering away to my friends (they do have to put up with it quite a lot, mind you - it keeps me sane). Hope you manage a child-free lunch next week.

Had a lovely, quiet, uninterrupted time placing an order with M&S for DS1's new school uniform last night - and then the order wouldn't go through ! So now I have to do it all over again.

Spending the morning at a friend's house. She has a big garden and a tree-house, so hopefully that will keep all four of our children entertained whilst we chat.

Will attempt some Flying later, although I have done my kitchen stuff already and am washing our sheets ready to hang on my new line before I go out .

Hope you have a lovely morning with your friend, Toffee. My mum does really appreciate me helping her to declutter; I just wish I was as good at decluttering my own things as I am with hers! It's much easier to be objective if it's not your own stuff, though.

DH is on his way over to the UK today and I should have been on the train to London to meet him, but instead am still in wet and windy Wales. Was wondering if I can persuade him to go next week instead, although I'm not sure how easy it will be to find a hotel last-minute.

Must go and get the DC ready as my mum and I are taking them to the local museum (the skeleton is a big attraction!).

Fuzzled Ds1 used to scream blue murder when he woke up from his (good)afternoon naps as a baby/toddler. I suppose it's a bit like when you wake up from a daytime sleep thoroughly grumpy and the only thing that makes you feel human again is a nice cup of tea. It was much easier when he was a baby as I used to just give him milk and a cuddle the minute he woke up.
By the time he was youngish toddler I used Thomas Tank Engine video as a transition - that was equivalent of a cup of tea I reckon. If I offered him food or drink until he had calmed down he used to just scream louder, or thrash around.
Twins were better for some reason.

Toffee I think very small irritating things are often the worst for starting fights - mine are incredibly physical violent cuddly with each other and us. I've noticed how dd's violent behaviour seems to have magically transformed into lots of cuddling and hugging, (the therapist seems to have helped) she obviously needs an outlet. Cat is a big help too. The brothers want to communicate and at the moment they can't seem to find anything to communicate over (except football) so they fight instead. I am very impressed at your zero tolerance of violence, it shows it can be done. We've got into a vicious circle of getting v.cross when they annoy each other, which surprise surprise ups the ante.. I notice the same thing happening with their older boy cousins, who spend a lot of time following each other round, seeking each other's company, then wrestling and screaming at each other, causing my sister to fly into a rage. Dh is completely shocked because he was v.protective and kind to his younger brother, taught him to read etc...

Anyway all is calm at the moment. Ds2 is enjoying a long bath, dd has gone to sports again, I've done some quick tidying, and Ds1 is doing ...I'm not sure what...I suspect he's watching Garfield again...

*todo
book drama course ds2
send up drivign licence copy to Ireland
draw up conservatory plan/idea to send to conservatory company
take boys out somewhere for long walk
washing
put clean sheets away
clothes to recycling
vases to charity shop

and loads of other up in the air stuff, which I never ever seem to tackle

Nicknacks arf at "hair touched my aura"

Neiiiiggghhhhh!!! [stamping of hooves]

Hellooooo everyone. Just cantering through. Hope you are all OK.

(Although I see MCs little one is suffering. Hope she recovers soon.)

So sorry to be intermittently absent and to not do personals. Will try and catch up after weekend.

Hols have been slightly postponed, allowing more visitors to turn up!

Coinciding with dd's first ever sleepover tonight (should I be worried I wonder?) Feeling a bit bleeurrgghh myself today so here's hoping it all goes smoothly!

Huge waves to PA Swan Toffee Whoknows OM Linzer Ellie CHB Nicknacks Fuzzled MessyM and our esteemed leader Blue

Oh yes and Nicknacks and Messy ditto what Swan said about your dhs and their work. Hope they keep safe!!!

Oh lordy, not sure I am really up to this ... think I may refuse at the first .... Hooves crossed and all that ....

SC so not set up for overnight visitors here (despite four spare mattresses), just relieved there is only one 12 year old comign round this afternoon. Sleepovers are always good practice, she will be fine. Both mine have to go on school 5 night outward bound course in Sept (9year olds), I am dreading it. Well, also slightly looking forward to it, but still wondering how ds2 will cope.

MC sorry not ot have noticed your post I think you will know everything you need to know about challenging behaviour just from readin gthis thread New job voluntary or not sounds excellent.

Done
boys walked
lawn mowed
cooked vegetable laden sausage casserole with ds1 (delicious, much improved by a touch of chilli con carne seasoning
had lovely chat with ds2 out and about
booked drama course for next week for ds2 - I'm sure the course organiser just wanted my money, but she was v.encouraging about me sending him ASD or not So we will see what happens.