June know it's the fledgling flyers?

[Stillchuckingit]

A warm welcome to the June Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If the state of your house is getting you down, this is the thread where we follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style ) with lots of chat and support along the way and where lace-up shoes are definitely optional.

A huge thank you to Linzer for keeping us all on track so splendidly during May and thank you to DroitwichMummy for the thread title.

As usual, we will be following the Flylady three-pronged approach:

1. Baby-steps (a daily step to establish routines)
2. Then baby-steps + 15 mins daily decluttering
3. (And once decluttered) babysteps + daily missions

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter and mess, you can make a difference, one step at a time.

For more information, have a look here. You don't need to sign up to Flylady e-mails (we advise you not to do so in fact - you will be overwhelmed - all the information you need can be gleaned from this thread).

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

PS: Linzer - hope your DS is better today.

Hate to say if tofee but i think you probably had more as that was about the time i tried again to go to sleep. Falling asleep is a problem atm. Going to have to sleep during the day today. Am wiped and i have training later.

So you wil have to wave at me in the naughty corner. again

OFM - ouch. good luck with your day. Hope you manage to get your head around everything that you need to before the meeting!

Sorry for the split posting. Brain is not functioning atm

Night.

Eh up lovely fledglings!

Just been listening to "Desert Island Discs" - something I wouldn't normally do in the course of a normal morning. Len Goodman (very engaging) was telling the story of how, when his gparents had a market stall in Bethnal Green, it was his gran's job to boil up the beetroots which she did in a large cauldron. And when the water was tepid, she used to put a filthy young Len in it and give him a thorough scrub ... then the beetroots went in afterwards and apparently "Everyone said they were delicious"!!

Well done to Whoknows for being ahead of the game!

Overflowingmum sorry your birthday was a bit mixed. Surfeit of champagne sounds good though!! Hope your dh was suitably apologetic this morning. Was about to say "enjoy your day off" but see that you were up at the crack of dawn organising things for your dc...hope you find alternative run, that meeting goes well, and that you manage to get a bit of time for yourself later on!

Blue Thank you, yes, as I was writing that post last night I was thinking I had the dresser thing wrong but my brain was befuddled! Also confusing because I use the top of my chest of drawers as a dressing table. Either way, it's a bit of mess atm

Toffee Glad teacher was helpful but agree with you about "Class E" couldn't they think of something a bit more encouraging????

Thank you very much for offer of help with thread. If things get any worse I'll let you know but I'm fine doing it for the moment ... only thing I am doing of any use frankly atm along with a bit of typing for dh!! - only sorry I am not doing better on the witty round-up front. Monday should be fine too (appt with cardiologist in her office (not hospital)) at lunch time so hopefully no probs there and if there is, will shout - thanks a million!

On the question of how much to tell your ds - it's a difficult one isn't it. YOu want to arm him with information in case he hears things in relation to himself but at the same time, don't want to overwhelm him or damage his fragile self esteem. Again, I hesitate to comment being a complete ignoramus on the subject but I think your dh's plan sounds good. And perhaps a bit of a drip-feed approach might work in response to the questions (and pace of questions) your ds asks himself. I agree you definitely have to talk to him because you want him to get as positive a grasp of terms he might hear in advance of other pupils ignorantly putting rubbish in his head!! He sounds like a bright lad so I'm sure he'll catch on pretty quickly to the idea of diagnoses being "tools to work with" not labels ....Good luck with it. It must be so stressful for you and your dh - no wonder you are not sleeping!!

Hope you can catch up on sleep too CBH

Linzer completely forgot to respond to your lovely PM last night - apologies - will do so now!!

Waves to everyone else ....

sorry, no personal messages,
was meant to meet with SAFE team ths morning about ds2, in liasion with school, but the lady is sick, so no appt after all. Feel a bit deflated, but next week I think. Ds2 was sitting alone in the playground, it was a bit sad to see how little he interacts at playtime - he was in a world of his own
But was in the right place to move 300 tombola bottles from the school playground - Peach Schnapps anyone? sadly not into my drinks cabinet, but into school boiler room (if you ask me, an accident waiting to happen)

OFM you always make me smile when you mention husbands. That is v frustrating about the fun run - I agree, ask for special dispensation. My ds2 gets v upset about things he's set his heart on; sometimes he can be bribed to forget them. He still occasionally comes in with a swipe about Drayton Manor Thomas Land where I'd promised to take him for his 6th birthday
SC I love your picture of your husband too! Yay for wiping worktops (N.B last night my poor dh was offered pesto in a jar, horrid mushroom sauce or make your own sandwich)
Toffee Dh ticked me off yesterday for moving furniture yesterday (not because it was too heavy, but because it was in the wrong place [grr] I explained that I was getting carpet cleaned, to which his response was, WHY???
however, together we have cracked the spellings, which we had to ring various people to get late last night....

now rest of appts/errands are stacking up -

DS2 and I have walked to Sainsburys and back, which has taken almost the whole time DS1 is at nursery! He's fallen asleep in the pushchair though so I'm sitting down for 10 minutes before rushing off to collect DS1 again!

Love that story SC
Hope your day improves OFM
[roll eyes] at Class E Toffee

Got to run now or I'll be late (again!)...

Sorry SAFE meeting a wash-out Swan and at your ds alone in the playground. Bet it was nice for him to have you there though.

Arf at potentially exploding cocktails!!!

Big waves to Blue I'm constantly astounded by how the simplest thing takes absolutely ages

Made the mistake of putting the gps out in the garden today (when the sun was shining) and they got caught in a terrible downpour. They are usually pretty good at looking after themselves but you have to guard them against getting damp. Normally they would have a shelter out in the garden but I'm not hauling it up the lawn atm (and didn't think it politic to add this to dh's list) so having gently blow-dried their coats, I now have two gps snuggled up on my lap in a fluffy towel "singing" contentedly ... when completely dry they will be returned to their indoor cage in which I have built up a cosy layer of hay complete with dd's old woolly (Boden don't you know) fleece ..vit C drink and a tasty array of vegetables ....ahhhhhh... nowt like the sound of guinea pig contentment .....

Virtually all our entire morning seemed to be taken up with shopping (and getting to and from the shops) too, Blue. That's the problem with having DH at home - we end up going to shops that I would never normally go to (or want to go to) on my own, such as ToysRUs (to get a few presents and bit and pieces for the parties coming up) and the DIY store/garden centre. He has now gone for a lie-down to recover!

DS seems much better so far today, although he was OK yesterday too until the evening. My MIL phoned this morning to tell us (yet again) that we need to take him to the doctor's; apparently her doctor agrees with her as three days is "a long time" to have a temperature and he might have an infection. Tried to tell her that he's obviously on the mend and seems fine so far today, but she wasn't having any of it. Told her I would tell DH (pretending to not have a mind of my own is often quite a good strategy for dealing with my MIL).

swan It's so difficult when you see your children being left out/choosing not to join in, isn't it? DD1 is very quiet and doesn't seem to have any close friends in her class, although another mother told me recently that it's good she's "under the radar" (her DD likes being the centre of attention and is being bullied) and I'm not sure whether DD is really unhappy with the situation - I think she is only when she compares herself to DD2.

SC Being able to sit and listen to Radio 4 is a silver lining. Btw I also wondered about "dresser" when I was doing the links last month and assumed it was a dressing table, but Blue is right - I checked with an American friend and it is indeed a chest of drawers. Thanks for your PM btw.

CHB Hope you manage to catch up on some sleep today.

Toffee Sorry to hear you're also sleep deprived; you obviously have a lot on your mind atm. I agree with SC's drip-feed approach about explaining the diagnosis to your DS. You obviously need to answer his questions honestly, but at the same time don't want to overwhelm him with information - he'll probably need a little while to take in what you've told him, and then you can give him more information as and when he needs it.

Sorry, no time for any more personals as I have to take DD1 to her dyslexia lesson. Will be back later!

Still - read 'gps' as 'grandparents'. Gives a very amusing picture! I now realise you are referring to 'guinea pigs'!

Yes Toffee must stop doing that before someone calls Age Concern!!

Linzer I have an mil like that too (who incidentally ignores everything the doctor tells her!) Glad your ds feeling better.

Linzer/Toffee forgot to say earlier that I was rather that price of dyslexia support was so high (something that stupidly hadn't occurred to me before now) - seems v unfair that it isn't subsidised ...

Linzer - I missed your post - glad you are back with us. I was concerned about you as you nearly always post first thing. I see your DH is dragging you off to the shops though - that explains it. I'm glad to hear your DS is better. Very annoying about MIL. Mine does exactly the same. If she rings and she hears one of the DC cough she starts on and on about it - "Oooh, he's coughing: is he ill? How long has he been ill? Have you taken him to the dr? Oh no, he's coughing again - are you sure he's all right?" It's maddening. She won't listen to me when I say, "Er, he's not ill - he's just coughed once or twice." On the other hand, if I mention DS1's multiple issues, she says, "Aww, it's a shame" and changes the subject swiftly .

SC - It was the fact that you'd built them a shelter in the garden and were gently blow drying their coats that particularly amused me!

As for dyslexia tuition - it's extortionate, I'm afraid. We have avoided it so far, but I feel it is probably money well spent at this stage in DS's education, particularly as he has missed so much schooling and his self esteem is so low. Just as well I didn't add up how much it would cost before we met the consultant, though, otherwise we would probably never have gone ahead. Too late now though . DS did get extra help at school, btw, but only enough to bring him up to the average, when he is (if I may say so, myself ) capable of so much more.

Have forced myself to do some washing up and tidying up. DS is educating himself on the computer this morning. Am going to take a nap shortly as I'm feeling very groggy. Giving blood this afternoon and need to feel fit for that. DS was very apprehensive about it (he has to come with me), but cheered up when I told him he could share my biscuits afterwards.

afternoon all
toffee very tricky I agree about how much to tell DC about diagnoses etc...hope you find the right solution

LOL at sc blowing drying the in-laws!

blueeyeshadow nursery time goes so fast doesnt it - sometimes seems hardly worth the effort of getting there and back LOL

linzer good to hear ds is on the mend

swan shame meeting didnt happen, and poor ds2. Its hard to think of them not fitting at school isn't it.(he may have been quite content having some peace and quiet mind you, I think dd3 is actually quite happy sometimes when I assume she must be feeling left out!)

coldhearted hop eyou get a nap!

well...survived meeting at school! Will spare you all the details but came away extremely cross as usual. They tried to fob us off again...eg cant expect more than on sub level of progress/year (rubbish!), not possible to bridge the gap (ie get her literacy up to scratch) rubbish again as psychometric testing has shown her to be of above average intelligence and LS teacher has told me with the RIGHT support she could easily catch up.
Then they went on about how comlex her needs were , being a mixture of dyslexia and aspergers - well yes, which is EXACTLY what I have been saying for 3 years and why you need to do MORE to find her the RIGHT support....
Sigh...deep breath...
So back to applying for a statement for her ...again. Feel more hopeful this time , but am sure it will still be a battle, and it is all so draining...sigh

on a positive note I think I have found an alternative run for her to do, so that is good.

Have now resported to positioning ds2 and dd2 (who is off school supposedly ill, but miraculously recovered since about 9.05 LOL) in front of a dvd with a lollipop so I can ignore the mess of the house and hide on the internet for a bit!! Sometimes you just gotta do it LOL

right, off for a coffee refill...

BBL

DH being around tends to curtail my MNing, Toffee - not necessarily a bad thing! It sounds like you have an equally annoying MIL health issue wise; she seems to think we should rush to the doctor's if the DC are ill for more than a few hours. OTOH they all (incl. SIL, who's a teacher) seem to think that we're making a mountain out of a molehill with DD1's dyslexia and that the main problem seems to be that her teacher is overly strict. So I can empathise! Hope the nap helps and that the blood donating goes OK.

SC I've just reread your gp paragraph from a grandparent point of view and it made me laugh, esp. when you blow dried their coats!

OFM Sorry to hear the meeting didn't go as well as you'd hoped; it all sounds very frustrating. Good news on the run, though.

DH has gone out shopping yet again - food shopping this time, with DD1 - so I suppose I ought to get on with some tidying etc. while the other two are watching TV. Have just remembered that I should also go and pick up my chip and starter pack (whatever that includes) for the run on Sunday, but will have to wait for DH to get back.

Quick post, my feet have hardly touched the ground today,

School run
Tennis
Coffee with friends
Lunch out with different friends
Help set up school fair for tonight
Take DCs to Sainsbo's to buy stuff for a gold themed hamper for GPs anniversary
Home for a bit of MN and a jam doughnut, which really hit the spot.
Out again in an hour for the fair, it is starting to rain and has been overcast all afternoon.

Toffee - I was on a thread a few months ago talking about how much you tell other people about your child's special needs, someone made a good post about telling the child themselves link

Because my DS doesn't have a diagnosis as such it is hard to talk to him about his own problems and as he is only 7 he hasn't really realised himself yet that he is a bit different, but I think it is best to tell them, partly so they understand for themselves and partly because it generally raises awareness which can only be a good thing.

Got to dash.

A very odd day here, nothing like I expected.
Both commitments cancelled (SIL had to go out and didn't need me), ended up talking to 2 friends in garden for most of the day, and the horror of driving to Barnes for dd's appt with shrieking Friday children went alright

I think I am having to give myself my own personal CBT here on this thread

I broke the journey into tiny steps in my head - picking up bad tempered children, putting them into car, providing snacks, driving in Friday traffic, big junction, bridge (vertigo!) and then the last stretch, parking, dealign with two children not attending appt once we got there....and it was all fine. Problem seemed unsurmountable at 2.50, and I was seriously considering a taxi...or cancelling appt, due to anxiety.

More SN here...oToffee, Whoknows and OFM we are having a lot of trouble with ds2 at school, and they have insisted he be referred back to CAMHS as a matter of urgency as he has started attackign people in playground who he thinks are hurting him (even when it's an accident) Unfortunately it is what CAMHS suggested, that he is getting "worse" and could end up with a dx this year, although last year he didn't quite fit the criteria. I feel more and more like I am having to barricade him from "diffiicult" situations, which are now too numerous to police

Anyway, all safe home now, watching tennis, and Friday Download (dreadful programme) - the carpet is still WET!

Oh Swan, I'm sorry. It is so upsetting. I suppose you could look at it as a sign that he needs more support and going back to CAMHS can only help him - but I know how hard it is. It's a long, hard slog, isn't it?

OFM - And I'm sorry to hear that you didn't have a productive meeting today. It's awful that you are having to fight again for a statement. It makes me fear for DS's own chances. Am preparing myself for a fight.

WhoKnows - that link is really useful. Thank you.

Linzer - grr to family thinking you are making a mountain out of a molehill concerning DD's dyslexia .

Is there a link between having special needs' children and wanting to keep the house tidy? (Feeling in control of something, maybe, when there is something else - ie your child's needs - that you can't control). There seem to be a lot of us on here!

My blood was refused because I was wheezy - not much, but they didn't want to risk it. I think DS was quite disappointed that he couldn't watch it after all.

The good thing is that I can drink tonight. (I had been advised not to by the blood donor people if I donated). I am going out for a drink with some mums and leaving DH in charge for the second night running. I could get used to this!

Hope you all have a good evening.

Toffee/Swan/OFM/*Whoknows

Evening everyone ... feel very but mostly for those of you battling with the bureaucratic and behavioural ramifications of sn...

Reading all your posts about statementing etc it sounds as if the system is set up to hinder not help. It shouldn't be that hard to get help !!!!!

And it must be so galling when you know yourselves that your dc are capable of so much more

I'm sorry your days have all been so stressful and frustrating.

Here is a crate of .

Toffee incredibly good of you for even thinking about giving blood with so much else going on

And Swan you did brilliantly with the driving!!!! You should give yourself a huge pat on the back for that

Whoknows gold-themed hamper is a brilliant idea! Pastry as doughnuts are jam-less over here

OFM glad you found an alternative run

Huge waves to Linzer and everyone else

Sorry to be so brief but we are all heading for an early night tonight.

Back in a mo with tomorrow's step

Sorry, forgot to say Swan I don't know what CAMHS is but I hope they can give your ds and you the right support

OK, baby-step no. 25 for Saturday 25th June is here Bit of a "meh" one ... but good point about perfectionism

No zones or missions because it is the weekend!

Saturday is family fun day (and it sounds like you all need one after the week's you've had)

Sleep well all and see you tomorrow

And that school meeting does sound so incredibly draining OFM hope your day got better

Phew, just got back from school fair, it drizzled steadily but not enough to really cause any problems. DCs are still awake, all revved up on e-numbers and sugar. DH took them home an hour or so before the end, I stayed to help clear up.

Swan - big hugs to you tonight, the thought of driving in London brings me out in a cold sweat, I used to live in West London and drove round fairly happily but that was 20 years ago, don't think I could do it now. Plus everything else you are dealing with, what a day.

OFM - hugs to you too, my DS is a bit the same a mixture of dyspraxia and Aspergers but not enough of either to get a definitive diagnosis. He is coping pretty well at the moment but may well need a statement at some point, will have to see.

DH has just arrived back with Chinese takeaway so I'm going to collapse on the sofa before packing for trip to ILs tomorrow.

I've done the supermarket shop...as I could see the cupboard was decidedly bare, and brother suggested a joint barbecue on Sunday eve
bought lots of baking stuff - need to recharge those baking batteries
put away lots of food, but abandoned kitchen soon after....

rung BBC to complain about scarey face Andy Murray in Tennis commentary on BBC 2 (did anyone see that - it reduced my sons to tears at about 6.35...most odd, ds1 was laughing soon after, but ds2 was very upset)

Toffee so glad you get the chance to escape for a drink with friends

SC continue to take it easy this weekend, you have been so kind to us all.

OFM basically all this stuff happens at school, and you don't really know WHAT.

I do have confidence in ds2's teacher(s) even the lovely NQT, but I think the playground is a scary place for any child that can't judge social situations. I feel very bad for ds2, he is such an active little boy, he needs to play games and run run run, but he is obviously just a liability when there is no active supervision, such as parent might provide, so I feel for the school too and of course the other children who he is upsetting. He doesn't see it that way, that is the problem, he just thinks they are being mean to him. Just don't know what to DO next - take him out at lunchtime?? Press for greater supervision??

Whoknows that sounds like a great day, well done on the tennis, and hope the Fair is a magical evening. You'll be relieved when it's all over. Thanks for that link.

And good night to anyone else who is around, CHB especially

No flying here today but not much drama either. Hopefully our bike shed will be built tomorrow, although the forecast isn't too promising...

Hugs and all round to everyone battling the system.

I didn't see the scary face swan - intrigued.

Anyway, night all.

x post Whoknows

glad fair went well

Toffee I definitely need things to be more organised because the stress of not finding things, not being ready feeds into already stressful SN scenarios...

On the other hand, I don't tend to sweat the small stuff and I long ago stopped being a perfectionist - I like to think that in some way my untidyness has made me slightly more flexible with my dcs and their foibles, on the other hand I may be deluding myself...

I think organisation makes a good servant but a bad master. I've known people who were so organised they had nervous breakdowns, and not a crumb or a bite or a welcome mat in sight...