June know it's the fledgling flyers?

[Stillchuckingit]

A warm welcome to the June Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If the state of your house is getting you down, this is the thread where we follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style ) with lots of chat and support along the way and where lace-up shoes are definitely optional.

A huge thank you to Linzer for keeping us all on track so splendidly during May and thank you to DroitwichMummy for the thread title.

As usual, we will be following the Flylady three-pronged approach:

1. Baby-steps (a daily step to establish routines)
2. Then baby-steps + 15 mins daily decluttering
3. (And once decluttered) babysteps + daily missions

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter and mess, you can make a difference, one step at a time.

For more information, have a look here. You don't need to sign up to Flylady e-mails (we advise you not to do so in fact - you will be overwhelmed - all the information you need can be gleaned from this thread).

All long-standing members, intermittent returnees, lurkers and newcomers welcome!!

Forgot to say Swan glad you manage to exhaust the dss and hope your dd's arm recovers soon. Hope you manage to get more "alone" time this w/e.

Posting step now as want to have an early night today. Enjoy your rainy Saturday evening everyone!

Tomorrow's step, no.19 for Sunday 19th June, is barely worth posting frankly. More indoctrination testimonials. But here it is anyway.

No zones or missions as it is the weekend.

This is what will be coming during the rest of June:

? Zone 4: The Master Bedroom (June 20 - 24)
? Zone 5: The Living Room (June 27 - 30)

Sunday is renew your spirit day.

Thanks for all the pats on the back- very encouraging!

SC I sorted out all the donated clothes i gave my self ONE underbed storage box that i could fill and keep and when it was full i bagged up the rest and passed it on to my cousin for her little girl. @ passing the crap on! Also DS's school have a regular donate a bag of crap clothes day to raise money so i got rid of some that way. Enjoy your bath- you deserve it!

Linzer I will indeed pass on any pearls of wisdom i have about the playroom but its one of those rooms i put off a lot because i don't know what to do with it. I have great storage but constantly needs re-arranging because the childrens interests change so much. Will ponder piss about a lot before i start, i'm sure.

I agree about the cleaner issue! i also have major problems delegating. 3 weeks ago DH ask me to write a list of weekly jobs he is in charge of because often we are like ships in the night and so he doesn't 'see' what needs doing and so does nothing. Come the weekend i moan he's done nothing and blah blah so it continues.

Still haven't got round to making that list though because everything i go to put on it, i think, 'Oh no, i'll have to do that because of such and such.'

hey ho

Nicknacks arf at "passing the crap on"

I know exactly what you mean about the "directing" dh issue. Owing to my control freak/perfectionist tendencies (not that they are evident here - oh no) by the time I've explained to dh how I would like something done in explicit detail and mentioned all the traps to avoid etc etc I could have done it myself about three times over. Hopeless!

And then I try and turn over a new leaf and say "ok, I'll just let him do it his way, I don't need to explain the obvious; that you don't put red socks in with white shirts or put raw chicken on the top shelf of the fridge - or let dd eat chocolate eclairs five minutes before dinner or whatever " and of course ... I did need to explain...!!

Aarrgghhh!

LOL at "Detonating" SC (hs she been watching Dr Who lately I wonder

Dd was much improved after visit to a neighbour (she needs her friends, not her family), followed by a game of Labyrinth, followed by reading Roman Mystery about Vesuvius. Lots of jokes, and everyone in good spirits again. I slightly dread playing board games with them, so was pleasantly surprised. As long as ds2 doesn't play it's fine!

Furtherdones
swept garden path
ate up all the leftover dishes for supper
swept floors downstairs
washed up
one load of washing in, and got ds1 to do some laundry duty and load the washing machine! I shall train him from an early age not to mix red socks with white shirts
emptied food compost
lunch prepared for tomorrow (casserole)

Tomorrow Dh is out for lunch, so I will try to get out and about, perhaps to Kew in morning. Altar Serving at 6pm makes it much easier to plan Sunday for some reason, usually we go at 10.30.

Blue and Scatty glad school fairs survived the showers. Our fairs are either much too hot, or a bit soggy. I think I prefer the soggy, it always feels very amiable and people buy more food, and just enjoy having an great day out when they otherwise might have done nothing except huddle indoors! Not much fun for the stalls though, selling s/h books in the rain is a depressing business...

NickNacks agree that the playroom storage is always changing. The only drawer that has remained a "constant" (and sad reminder of how we believed we were going to use the room...as a dining room) is the one which is full of silver cutlery given as a wedding present by Dh's parents, which we never use, all wrapped up in green felt However, I've managed to part with so many toys that the Drinks cabinet now has Drinks in it again, instead of Lego.

Hello again, Fledglings! I have tried to catch up, but I admit failure. I hope you are all OK.

Had a lovely, if rather wet, week in France. We were entirely computer free, which meant we all read and rested. DS1 has finally started reading 'Harry Potter' because he had nothing else to do. He's now hooked .

Had a very choppy ferry ride home and I can still feel the waves beneath me now . Both boys felt seasick and we had sick bags at the ready, but luckily they both went to sleep instead. DS2 slept all the way home and carried on sleeping after I'd put him to bed. I'm crossing my fingers that he'll sleep through the night.

I followed Flylady's dictum and unpacked as soon as we arrived home, in spite of it being 11pm! The washing is in the washing machine, ready to go first thing. However, I'm hoping for a lie-in, thanks to Mum being here and saying she'll be up early.

Off to bed now. May dream of stormy seas.

Good night all.

Woken early by everyone - families are noisy things, aren't they? Never mind, at least I don't feel as if I'm on the ocean waves anymore. And, following Flylady's instructions, I have done the holiday washing already , so I'm feeling on top of things.

DH and I are meeting up with friends at lunchtime, then I'm taking DS2 to a birthday party this afternoon. My lovely Mum is cooking dinner.

Loads of challenges coming up next week concerning DS1. We are finally meeting up with a psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss DS's anxieties and ask for help for him. He was a nervous wreck for most of the holiday, poor boy - and he is meant to be having a day at his new secondary school on Tuesday. Have had an email from the head at his primary saying that they don't usually provide support on that day, but I can meet her about it on Monday if I want. Think I might have to negotiate with the secondary school about it instead. Feels like an endless battle. At least I have had some time out from real life to give me some more energy to deal with it all, though.

Hope you all have a happy Sunday.

Welcome back, Toffee - you're sounding very organised and on top of things! Hope that next week goes well for you and you're able to get something sorted out for Tuesday.

We are in the middle of writing birthday party invitations; eleven down and about the same number to go, although DS keeps changing his mind about who he wants to invite. DD2 is being far less fickle. I shall be glad once July is over and we have a five-month respite until the next birthday party.

I had lots of good intentions about getting organised this morning, but there are only a few minutes of the morning left and I don't seem to have done much other than the washing. Still, there's always this afternoon...

Hello, Linzer! I am certainly trying to stay organised. DS2 keeps asking me to play with him, though, which is not part of my plan. Am just doing a Tesco order for next week - there will be lots of ready meals, as I'm not going to have much time to cook.

Hope you get the birthday list sorted out OK and remember who you've invited! I always find my children's birthday parties very stressful. At least they are both in the autumn and then I don't have to think about them again until the next year.

Must finish my Tesco order, then start getting ready to go out. The washing is in the tumbledrier. Next wash about to go on...

I also ended up playing with DD1 this morning - we made a robot garden from her Art magazine - so didn't get much done while DH was at church with the other two, but it was nice to spend some time with her on her own.

DD2's invitations are all done now; she has made a list and ticked everyone off when she'd written their invitation - just need not to lose the list now! I should have stuck with two children and then I'd have had almost a whole year off now. Oh no, that wouldn't have worked as it's DC 2 and 3 whose birthdays are in July.

Oh, why is my house such a tip? Actually, I know why; the pertinent question is why my motivation has deserted me. Was just about to start on the ironing, but the DC are asking for lunch so I suppose I ought to feed them. (I have been having sneaky bites of DS's pain au chocolat from breakfast, so am not feeling particularly hungry).

You need a break, Linzer. That's why your motivation has deserted you.

Am running late now. Got to wash hair and throw some make up on. Eek!

You may well be right, Toffee. I'm hoping that our holiday next month will revitalise and reenergise me! We'll still have seven weeks of the summer holidays left when we come back, so I'll certainly need some energy to keep me going.

Hope you have a lovely lunch.

Welcome back Toffee! We missed you! Glad you had a good break and survived the ferry. VERY impressed by unpacking the minute you get through the door (don't think I've ever managed that)! Good luck with the week ahead and hope you can get something sorted at the school to reassure ds1.

Hope Kew is rain-free Swan (And hurrah for mothers who teach their sons to launder!!) You are bang on about dd and Dr Who btw. She's addicted! And arf at playroom with fully stocked drinks cupboard! Now we're talking!

Linzer "Oh, why is my house such a tip?" It probably isn't as bad as you think and anyway the answer probably = children ie they need to be played with, fed and helped to write party invitations! That doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else. And as Toffee says, it's approachign the end of the school year, everyone is a bit jaded. ' Tis good you are going away at the start of the holidays! Will there be an opportunity for you to relax a bit?

Very quiet here today. DD went riding without me [sniff] and we've cancelled all entertaining/visiting etc. Just a case of finishing homework, relaxing, bunging a chicken with veg in the oven, cornering dd with a large net and persuading her to have a bath and scrubbing her behind the ears etc

Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

You are very kind SC but I feel like I'm drowning in hot spots, if that's not mixing my metaphors too much! We have a week in between school breaking up and our holiday, but I've signed the DDs up for a sport and games week in the first week of the holidays (and kindergarten only closes for three weeks, so DS will be going until the end of July) so should still be able to get on with things in the mornings at least. For the first time last year, I found our holiday quite relaxing (we've been going to the same place for five years) so fingers crossed it will be the same this year!
Sorry to hear you're missing out on the riding and entertaining; I hope you're able to relax a bit and not finding it too frustrating (I know I would).

DD2 has gone to the Roman baths with a friend and DH has taken DD1 and DS out for an ice cream. DD1 was feeling rather melancholy about the fact that she hasn't been to a single birthday party this year (her best friend didn't have a party, and the one party that she was invited to was cancelled) despite inviting around 10 children to hers. It's very difficult as DD2 must have been to around 10 parties and DS to quite a few as well. DH tried to comfort her by saying that most of her friends hadn't had parties but according to her everyone had big parties, it's just that she wasn't invited.

Wow toffee super fly woman!!
I have a Dr Who addict too SC his teacher collered me once to tell me what an impressive imagination he has and and unusual vocabulary! (I didn't tell him it was all from DR Who).
linzer I'm hoping for a simple friend for tea instead of a party for Ds (also july) this year as it is just before we go on holiday.
swan well done on reclaiming your drinks cabinet.

Funny day today. Ds set off to the classic bike show on his motor bike while I trudged DC to the metro to meet him there. Sadly the Metro wasn't running, so we trudged home again to get the car only to find that Dh had also returned as the bike show is not until July!! So we all went to the park instead. And got soaked!!

Hi Toffee oh I do love a ferry
I was reading in the Guardian about books famous people had read on holiday that had stayed with them... A friend says she once abandoned herself on a Cornish cliffside cottage with her three sons (4-9)and a pile of Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter Story Tapes and no telly or husband(he was Italian and hated Cornwall) or sunshine, and it was bliss.

Sept is still a while off, there is time to get your ds used to whole idea. Perhaps there is someone who is going there who could come round to do something very neutral like go on the Computer with ds1? My ds1 is unnaturally excited about SS, so I'm worried it is all going to be a nasty shock...Teacher visited our school and asked ds's teacher which children got on well together, so that has somewhat relieved my fears that he'll be in a class with a child he irritates.

Linzer didn't realize the Romans had done Vienna Yes, I still ahve to organise Ds1's party. He doesn't have any regular close "friends", just people from school he "likes", so it is always very exhausting to organise and think up, as I don't know any of them very well...Otherwise I just have three friends over for day to go to park and then the cinema (but it is all uncharted territory - nevertheless I will attempt it)

Done
lovely outdoorsy morning in the big more distant park, riding (one) bike, and just runnign around madly...the park in the rain is so heavenly, no-one there except dog people and other bicyclists, green and lush. Ds1 practising going there himself on the bus and back with his Oyster card, and I drove the bike and the twins. Dh out to lunch with my relatives .
No Kew necessary (a ££)

SC well done for taking a breather.

Scatty oh what a shame for your DH. A female friend has just bought a motorbike - she and her dh go off motorcycling together and leave the kids with grandma..I said I couldn't see the point, and she just said, ah the wind in your face hair, that experience of the open road, the freedom..she is completely converted..

The pub was nice, but I then had to take DS2 to a children's birthday party which was excruciating. It was outside and pouring with rain. I didn't know any of the mums, they were all chatting to each other and DS refused to play with any of the children. I just couldn't muster the energy to break into any of the groups and join in, although I did manage to chat to a few mums towards the end.

Am hiding in our bedroom now, trying to get a bit of quiet time before dinner.

SC - thanks for the nice welcome and the good luck for next week .

Linzer - your poor DD1. I suspect your DH is right though. It may simply be that your DD is older now and her classmates are having smaller birthday 'dos', like visits to the cinema, rather than big parties. DS1 is going to parties every weekend at the moment, but it's only because he's five and everyone in his year is having proper kid's parties, with entertainers, etc. The novelty will wear off in a year or two. DS1 doesn't go to any parties anymore, but that's because he only has one or two friends and they don't tend to hold big parties themselves. I hope you can help your daughter feel better about it all.

Scatty - thanks for the accolade! Sorry your DH missed out on his classic bike show.

Swan - I love the ferry too and it was even better this time because we upgraded to a bigger cabin. However, I could have done without the choppy waves. I managed to fend off sea sickness myself, but I was very glad to get off the boat after seven hours!

Thanks for your kind words about DS maybe getting used to the idea of school by September. I hope so. I just hope we can get him some help to cope with all his anxieties first, as it seems too much to expect him to manage school in the state he's in at the moment. I'm dreading Tuesday. If he doesn't go, I shall be in despair, but if he does go I'll spend the whole day worrying about him, so I can't win either way! Much better that your son is so excited about secondary. At least that should carry him through the beginning, although there are bound to be challenges. We have even been offered a parents' evening to support us through the transitition too! How times have changed!

I have decided that three adults is the perfect number to manage a house and two children. It is lovely not having to cook every day and knowing that you are not the only person available for the children. I have one more day of this, then DH goes back to work, Mum goes home - and it's back to normal life.

Poor you Toffee, that sounds horrible. I hate going to events where I don't really know anyone; in fact, I don't feel comfortable in groups full stop and would much rather be with just one or two close friends. Luckily I haven't had to stay with the DC at parties for ages; I always used to stay with the DDs when they were DS's age, but for some reason haven't needed to/been expected to with him.

swan Yes, lots of Roman history here. In many ways our town reminds me of Bath (it even has the same name if you translate it), but we have coachloads of middle-aged Germans rather than Italian and French schoolchildren and no drunk students in togas, so are far more sedate here.

DH has mended the toy chest and the DDs have finally decluttered their dolls, getting rid of a grand total of three dolls and absolutely no accoutrements. I've put some of their dolls/accessories up in the playroom and their room does look far tidier now, though. A shame the same can't be said of the rest of the house.

Hands to Toffee - sounds like you've earnt it! Hope normal life is OK tomorrow.

at the Dr Who imagination/vocabulary scatty. A lot of DS1's imaginative play seems to revolve around Chuggington and the Octonauts at the moment.

Rather drowning in hotspots here too, Linzer but as it's the master bedroom again next week, I'll have another go at persuading DH to deal with some of his junk!

Not done much today, although did manage to play a board game with both boys without major incident, and get DS1 involved in making an apricot sponge for pudding. :) Tomorrow is food shopping day, and if it's raining I'll try to get the boys making cards - FIL and Step-FIL have the same birthday.

toffee oh I hate that sort of party, (even the grownup versions of it you can't leave, and just have to hang on for grim death till the speeches cake/party bags

My get-ds1-independent has now taken a battering. He apparently witnessed two men in a fight, luckily the other side of the (semi busy) road ,from the bus-stop on way back from park, one then smashed the other's car in with a hammer and police car came. Luckily then the bus arrived. I saw them swearing as I drove past, but just didn't think much of it. He told Dh about it in greater detail this evening, and it was most unnerving.
Next after Mass, a strange man came and tried to chat to the children who were by themselves when they were putting their altar serving gardents back on hangers in the church side room, and then hung around outside the church smiling oddly. I told the policeman on the High Street, who went and talked to the man, who then continued to hang around, nor did he come up to me and explain himself. All very unsettling.
Suddenly letting 11 year old ds1 walk to school by himself at SS seems like a big deal . I think he will have to walk in a group of some kind.

Oh dear, I don't want to get paranoid, as I've lived in a roughish part of London for years with impunity; yet suddenly you wonder how you can possibly teach them to deal with all these troubles ahead...let alone the school playground

Blue well done on board games and apricot sponge

Lots of organising of children's parties on here atm and lots of dcs who celebrate birthdays during the summer. Same here. Usually dd has party end of summer (last weekend before school starts) but was hoping to do it differently this year and have it at the beginning before everyone departs, largely because we are already all set up from having Communion etc and I didn?t want it ?hanging over? me throughout summer. Not to be however atm.. have temporarily abandoned all plans... but at least will be further along with organising than usual when it does happen.

Linzer holiday plans sound just the ticket! (I've given up even attempting to get the house ready by the start of summer hols - lunch time June 30!! Arrrgghh!! Visitors come precisely a month later.!!) Great minds think alike - dd doing dance taster activity first week with a friend - slightly less than school hours but near enough. Hope you will get a breather first week too. Feel for your dd1 and party situation. Really horrible (not to mention unfair) not to be invited same as everyone else. Can you take her out for a special treat en famille instead? Well done re: doll decluttering! (Small steps remember!! Small steps!)

Scatty what a strange day you've had..!! Hope you're all dried out now! DD wants an Amy Pond figure for her birthday this year which I'm going to have to investigate because (fortunately) Dr Who is something she and her father do together without my involvement!! at your ds !!

Swan Walking in the rain sounds wonderful! Glad the school is taking such a sensible approach. SS is such a big step - anything to make the transition easier has got to pay dividends for the dc and school alike.

Toffee poor you re: party. That sounds very wearisome. Over here (definite cultural difference) they just ?dump and run?. Was very surprised when I held dd?s 4th party that only one parent stayed (and two of the dc had quite complicated special needs). It?s wierd really, in many ways, it?s a much more child-centred environment over here than in UK, but at the same time, they require more of them/are tougher with them (difficult to explain!!) Your ma sounds lovely btw!

Blue hurrah for mothers who teach their sons to cook!!

x posts Swan

Oh no! That sounds like a pretty unsettling Sunday. Hope the police dealt with that suspicious character properly. It must be really worrying for you.

I grew up in big city (quite rough) as a child and experienced a few worrying incidents on the bus to school, at church and once when walking in to the city centre by myself (none serious fortunately). On all three occasions, other people came to my aid and there wasn't the awareness then there is now (if that's any consolation!).

It's so difficult as a parent to strike the right balance between not scaring your dc (especially if already sensitive/anxious) while teaching them to look out for themselves.

Dh and I encountered a very wierd man in the toddlers swimming pool on holiday in France once (if you can believe that) when dd was just over 3 yrs old. He was behaving in a totally inappropriate way (also smiling oddly) - getting VERY close to her - and trying to engage her attention all the time - he was really persistent (this is when dh and I were both there). Nothing was said but we swiftly moved between him and dd and made it clear by our body language that enough was enough. (Dh said afterwards to me that he would have "popped him one" if he had taken another step closer!!)

It's a worry. At least in big cities though, there are plenty of other people about - watching!!

Have you mentioned to the priest/vicar that the boys are alone when getting changed? Are there older boys with them?