If you have a dd aged 9-12 who keeps her room tidy. Can you tell me how you went about it?

[ZZZenAgain]

my dd will sort of tidy up if I ask her to (sort of). She is chaotic. Her room is always a mess. she is a hoarder and wants to keep everything. I wish I could throw out half of it.

Is there a way forward? Please tell me your success stories .

I don't know, but if you find out, please share. DD's room looks like a branch of Claire's Accessories has exploded in it.

I dont think such a thing exists

this isn't sounding too positive! lol

My sister was bad I remember but not as bad as this (mainly because there was less stuff cluttering up the room)

Not easy this one.

I was a bit sneaky and asked DD (11) to help me clean my wardrobe out. We had a right laugh together looking at clothes I hadn't used for ages and now look really dated and embarrassing. I also keep my keepsake boxes on a high shelf in the wardrobe and we went through that together (all her baby teeth, school reports, things she's made me etc, plus old photos of long-dead relatives).

Then I said, "right, let's do your room. I've got to put the washing out and I'll make up a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits while you get started."

Then I brought up the tea & biccies, plus a few big bags and said "You're doing such a fab job, I'm going to get the ironing done so I'm not in your way."

Amazingly - it worked! She was happy to get on with it!

Okay, the one thing that did work here (briefly, for as long as I could be bothered to implement it, bearing in mind I'm not tidy either) is to link room tidying to television viewing.

Children may only watch television if their room is tidy. If they want to watch telly and their room is a mess, then they tidy it until it's done to my specification, and then they may come down to watch telly.

It is brilliantly simple, and it does actually work. I'm just too lazy to follow it through.

I ahve to confiscate dd's lap top if I want any semblence of tidy
And my standards for her aren't even that high! But clothes strewn everywhere and dirty mugs etc just isnt on

Easy

Get a puppy. You'll be amazed how tidy DCs suddenly become when they discover the puppy is going to eat anything within reach.

am not convinced about the puppy ( we do have a dog already though). I can see me mopping up the wee alongside everything else. One more being to tidy up after I reckon. Puppies are adorable though so I understand your method!

I like what oops did, very well thought out but sounds like a lot of work (for the mum)... would manage an overhaul that way but general upkeep every week?

After many failed attempts, and threatening to put all her mess in a big black bag, I had to do it.
Then I helped her tidy her room from the bottom up - it had got way too bad for her to manage it effectively on her own.
We agreed on what could be given away and what could be stored in the loft for occaisonal use and the rest was tidied back into her (now clean) room.
She has kept it tidy for 12 days now (new record) and every day it is tidy she is allowed an item back from her black bag, most of which is dirty clothes.
I don't suppose it will last forever but the hope is that by the time she empties the bag the tidiness will have become habit. She has also been told that anything left lying around will be put back in the bag, which is helping to motivate her.
She too is a hoarder so I have allowed one drawer for "miscellaneous" stuff (conkers, marbles etc) and said that once it is full it has to be sorted - this way she can keep some "treasure" but not it all.
I have done the same with art work. The pictures which are not on display are stored in a cloth bag in her room. Once it is full she has to filter it through again, so she can keep some but not all of her creations.
Like I say, it won't work forever, but it has given us nearly 2 weeks of calm in her room!

P.S. Oopsadaisy, I like your style!!

Our DD is 13 and it is now much better that everything has a place. She's got gorgeous baskety things for her Claires accessory quota etc, own laundry bin, rubbish bin etc so it is easier.

Relieved it's not just me with a messy daughter!

I'd be fine with clothes and makeup, but DD is such a dirty beggar.
DS was watching How Clean Is your House once, and said "that's like DD's room"
and it's true!

Bits of cut up paper, crisp packets (she's not even meant to eat up there) dirty mugs, dirty pants, drawers pulled out and left there. Urgh. The carpet can't be seen at the moment.

I have to tell her everyday, and she always acts like she's the worst treated kid in the world ( helped by my grandma " Aww the poor little love" )

Would hate to inflict it on a puppy!

Sorry, went off a bit there, but thanks for giving me the chance to offload, will watch this thread with hope!

Tidy it then put a collapsible crate on the floor. Supply a litter bin and a laundry bin. Tell her that you have sorted her bedroom and now it's down to her. Every day walk into the bedroom and pick everything up from the floor, drop it into the crate and walk away. On a set day at a set time, ours is Sunday evening, anything that is in the crate will be thrown away.

Sob - there is no hope is there? I am also not tidy, but my DD really does take the biscuit. I find clothes (clean and dirty), stuffed under her bed or in the bottom or her wardrobe; clothes get recylced through the wash without ever being worn; hot chocolate cups left to fester for days; hoards of stuff from when she was tiny. Sometimes I set about it and throw loads of stuff away, but it just makes me feel weary thinking about it.

Bounty and Coatgate, Your dds sound exactly like my dd. I think there are many in the same boat. I am messy too but I could never invite my friends for coffee and leave my dirty underwear on the sofa. My dd happily invites friends up to play in her room when hers are lurking behind the dolls house etc. Eeeeek!

Mine has OCD and tidies my room whilst tutting all the time.

Mine loves to have a good tidy and chuck out. I was the same when I were a lass, my mum used to say I was the only child I'd ever met who didn't have to be told to tidy their room. Anal.

I've also got a messy 11yo hoarder -she wants to save every little thing imaginable "I can use it on a card / I can make something with it / I can use it for XYZ " etc

She also leaves dirty clothes in a pile by her door and walks past them umpteen times a day but never picks them up. Either that or puts clothes that have been worn for 10 mins into the dirty wash basket because she can't be bothered to fold them and put them on the chair in her room

Every now and again I pop in there when she's in school and bin some of it.

We solved the "putting it in the wash rather than hang it up" nonsense by making her so her own (supervised) ironing. She thought it was great fun for all of, oohh... 5 minutes?

she tells me she just needs more space.

She has a HUGE room. Hello?

OK so I have to get tough and start by doing a drastic spring-clean type of thing first.

I have two of creatures although to be fair dd2 isn't too bad. They also do the putting clean clothes in the washing because they're too lazy to hang it up trick. Well they did until dh came to my rescue one day when i flipped out over it. He said that being as they were attempting to give me more work out of laziness that the punishment should be that they have to do a job in the house. So it was decided that the job should be to vac a floor of the house. Oh how they laughed "but we like hoovering" they said - until they realised how big a whole floor of the house is and that it really isn't much fun.

I haven't found anything clean in the washing for a while now

I have a DS 10 and never need to tidy his room, because he never makes a mess.

With DD2, the messiest person on earth, I split her weekly pocket money into 3 and inspected her room 3 times a week, if it wasn't tidy she didn't get any money.

Some are tidy and some are messy. I've got one DC who is the former and 3 the latter. DD1-11 is the worst of the latter bunch.

she is at sport and I am throwing things out. She doesnÄ't leave clothes lying about or plates/cups/food, it is just the kind of a bomb hit it look : paper all over the place, toys all over the place, books all over the place, desk is covered in layers of cards, papers, rubber bands, crayons, pens, hair clips, little plastic animals, stickers, badges, etc etc I just feel faint at the idea of clearingi t in order to clean what is underneath.

On the door she has put up a poster she drew with a monster on it (fairly cute looking monster). It says: scream to enter

I think it's about right lol. I am buying some more of those plastic storage boxes today and I am storing the toddler stuff in those boxes in the garage so she feels she can get at it if she wants it but it isn't all in there all the time.

wish me luck!

My dd and ds are messy hoarders. They have a place for everything but can't be bothered to put it away! Drawers and doors are left open, dirty clothes down the side of the bed (it's less effort to put them in the washing basket!), rubbish on the floor NEXT to the bin etc. I nag them to clean it every week and every few months I go in when they're in school and have a good sort through.