Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
House swaps

Find help and advice from other Mumsnetters on our House Swap forum.

Original poster

Would you swap a 3 bedroom house for 4 bedroom flat

93 replies

samjade · 10/09/2022 20:16

Hi all would really appreciate some opinions.
I am living in a 3 bedroom house with a beautiful garden in a lovely quite cul de sac in Thames ditton. It is a very pretty area. With woods behind the garden. Very spacious but needs a new bathroom and kitchen.
Me and my son currently sleep downstairs due to there being no space. It is really getting me down and is hard to get him to sleep and hard to sleep with people banging around above me and very squeaky floorboards!
The 4 bedroom flat is in chessington on a main road not a very nice area to look at with not much there but not the worst area as far as I know.
It is ground floor with a very slim long patio overlooked by the two floors on top who have a balcony.
Much more updated than my home which would be a relief as this house is endless amount of work!
A nice kitchen with room for table two toilets a shower which I don’t have!
I would still be in the living room on sofa bed but the living room has its own door unlike here so would feel more like a bedroom and privacy for myself.
My son would have his own room which is very important.
A very small communal garden that i would not be able to put a pool or trampoline in for my 6 year old who has autism who loves his private garden very much.
I have been looking for somewhere for 5 years to swap with and this is the only one who wants to swap as my rent is £270 a week. The rent there is cheaper £180 and cheaper council tax.
It also has under floor heating not sure if that is a good thing if anyone knows?
my children would like to leave this road as one has a ex boyfriend and I also have a neighbour who has done some appalling things to me and my family. I am sad to leave here as I know everyone and have been around these ways forever!
Has anyone found living in a flat has helped them to get out more or does it make you feel depressed not having your own garden. I do find my garden very calming and use it a lot but at the same time it does take a lot of time and work having a garden. Being a single working mum I would have more time and energy not having one!
sorry for the long post please help!
I’m really stuck! As much as advice as possible would be really valuable
thank you all in advance

OP posts:
Original poster
samjade · 10/09/2022 20:19

Hi again also forgot to ask if anyone knows chessington I’ve only driven along the main road so not sure what is around or if there is any nice parks or activities. I know there is chessington world of adventures!

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 10/09/2022 20:21

How many are in your household? You and 4 kids? Can any of them share rooms? Do any share now? How do the distances work compared to kids’ schools and jobs?

Caspianberg · 10/09/2022 20:23

I wouldn’t no. Being overlooked and you would have noise from above flat even worse than noise from you own upstairs now as you wouldn’t be able to tell them to be quiet either

Summerholidays2022 · 10/09/2022 20:24

I think you would miss a garden, especially as you mention your sons trampoline.
Could you split a double bedroom into two singles ?

SpinningFloppa · 10/09/2022 20:25

No I wouldn’t, I lived in a 3rd floor flat with no lift for years I will never ever go back to a flat however nice it was!

BeaLola · 10/09/2022 20:29

I don't know the 2 areas and I can understand from your post that tthere are + and - for each for you

All I can say is that I have lived in a flat with no garden and do live in a house with a garden and for me I would not swap a house for a flat - I love the space of my garden even though it's not at all big it's mine , just mine and even pre covid I loved it , during covid it was wonderful to have that space

Good luck op - hope whatever you decide it works well for you and your family

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 20:43

As your swapping i guess your in ha or social
How many people in the hoUse
Also when is bathroom etc due for renewal ?
Can you not at least find another 3 bed to swap to elsewhere if you need to move from the street

Original poster
samjade · 10/09/2022 20:47

thanks very much for you fast reply’s everyone looks like everyone is against the idea
@Mumoftwoinprimary my son currently goes to school in the next town and we get a train which takes us 35 mins per run! They have said he may not be able to go to the next school in year 3 with his friends because they don’t have additional help that he needs.
The flat has a school 2 mins away but not sure about places but could get him to his other school while waiting for a place.
Also I have felt left out with the mums at his school and they don’t seem to return play dates it is very posh but at the Same time I don’t fit in with the chav type either so I may have the same problem again at a different school? But would be nice to try again and my son to have a good social life. My work is in Surbiton so kind of in the middle of the two locations.
I think chessington is a bit more rough than my current area and being a single mum feel a bit worried about the company he may find and where he may go without a garden to entertain friends as a teenager it would be nice to keep an eye and have his friends to mine in the pool ect.
my 4 girls are older so already have friends etc one is still in school and there is a school bus from chessington that can take her also.

there is a double room and 2 singles so would be very difficult to fit my son upstairs we done it before when my eldest moved back in but didn’t work well
I felt very guilty as they are older and my son is quite hyperactive and can be difficult for them!

OP posts:
Original poster
samjade · 10/09/2022 20:51

@worriedatthistime i am housing association and not been able to find anyone willing to swap because of the rent and I think the bathroom/kitchen is not good enough! I moved in ten years ago and it was apparently done before me moving in although I don’t believe that. So I think kitchen is due in 5 and bathroom 10.

OP posts:
CaroleFuckingBaskin · 10/09/2022 20:52

No

Original poster
samjade · 10/09/2022 20:53

I do agree with you all I would be devastated to lose our garden but the bedroom situation is awful! So difficult having no private space and can’t go on with my son like this but can imagine not having a garden and pool in summer ect

OP posts:
Boomboom22 · 10/09/2022 20:57

With 4 bedrooms and the door on the living room, extra toilet and shower plus much better decorated it sounds good to me! Plus cheaper.
Couldn't you put a paddling pool on the patio? 1.5m by 2.5m are quite large but not too wide.
I'd go for a walk around the area, look for playgrounds, duck ponds etc on Google maps.

hiredandsqueak · 10/09/2022 20:58

If your older children are young adults (you mention only one at school) I'd stay where you are as won't they be making lives for themselves and moving out soon?

berksandbeyond · 10/09/2022 20:59

The older 'children' need to move out. Can they go rent somewhere together? It's not fair you're sleeping on the sofa

SpinningFloppa · 10/09/2022 20:59

How old are your girls?

Woolandwonder · 10/09/2022 21:00

Can't two of the girls share and then your son can have a room. You'd still be downstairs but at least you would have some peace for sleeping.

greenhousegal · 10/09/2022 21:05

What age are the older kids? I wouldn't sleep on a sofa for anyone over the age of twelve. Get them to use the living room that you use. It will toughen them up!
You are making a rod for your own back here, unless their ages are an issue, or there is some other reason.

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 21:06

Have you had the housing association come and check the bathroom and kitchen ? Sometimes if in a poor condition they can be done
Could your son not at least have his own room and the girls share the others
Are any of them likely to move out soon so space would be less of an issue
Have you looked at the flat in person?

Original poster
samjade · 10/09/2022 21:07

The older ones are 20 18 and 17 One moved out but came back and now my son is back down here! i just can’t wait anymore for them to go we talk about it all but they say they need to save up for there own place as they don’t want to rent and waste money! But not much saving happening.
I could try and talk about one sharing with my son again he could get to bed earlier and I could have alone time at least! But ideally he does need his own room doesn’t he? the patio is only 100cm wide but very long so I don’t think a pool would fit at all or that would be great!

OP posts:
coulditgetbetter2 · 10/09/2022 21:13

So the 3 adult children - two of whom could move out - have taken all the bedrooms and leave them mum and vulnerable little brother to sleep in the living room, which doesn't even have a door?

And they're not saving, nor has it occurred to them to share a room?!

Summergirl5 · 10/09/2022 21:14

Put 3 girls in one room with a triple bunk bed.rediculous at their ages that they are taking up all the space

Summergirl5 · 10/09/2022 21:16

After you update of the dc ages
absolutely do not move
get them sharing to free up a room
they all share the biggest room ,or they move out
stop letting them walk all over u
and make sure they are paying their way

mrsm43s · 10/09/2022 21:17

Summergirl5 · 10/09/2022 21:14

Put 3 girls in one room with a triple bunk bed.rediculous at their ages that they are taking up all the space

Yes, exactly that. Your 3 girls share the largest room, either in triple bunks, or a double with a single over. You have one of the singles, your son has the other single.

And if the girls don't like it, then they can move out.

oviraptor21 · 10/09/2022 21:18

Yep. The three girls in together. Not sure why they have a room each and you and DS share the lounge.

berksandbeyond · 10/09/2022 21:21

I don't want to believe that this is real and that these 3 young women are that selfish to be honest

Swipe left for the next trending thread