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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Original poster

Would home education be a good fit for us?

172 replies

machanicalmovement · 11/11/2022 12:38

Right now it's a bit of pie in the sky thinking and I need somewhere to air my thoughts. He hasn't settled at school, he hates it, cries at drop off almost every day and is one of the youngest. It's hard to get him ready to leave in the mornings he has tantrums. He isn't ready to potty train, so comes out regularly with a bag of wet or soiled clothes because they have started to insist on no pullups or nappies. He's unhappy and I'm endlessly stress with it all, I'm unhappy too.

Please don't judge us, we are stuck in the system for assessments for Special needs, and a EHCP I'm not even sure if i am a crap parent and that's the cause.

He coped really well at nursery for 3 hours a day, but hasn't adjusted well to school. It can't be fair on the other students either, the ones who are ready.

Right now I'm just venting and searching for options, how would a go about de-registering him from school?

OP posts:

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 10/07/2023 16:49

At this point I don't think we will be returning to any type of school for the foreseeable future, without the stress and pressure put on him he's a different kid. And best of all he's been like a sponge, soaking up knowledge everywhere we go.

OP posts:

Phineyj · 10/07/2023 17:45

That's nice to hear!

Saracen · 10/07/2023 23:33

That is great news!! I am so glad to hear you have your happy child back 😊

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 09/12/2023 11:26

I have no regrets and absolutely believe taking him out of school has been the right thing for him. He has lesions on his brain, we think it's probably caused by him having a long seizure at some point, I have no proof but I suspect at school. His brain is very likely to adapt and fix itself because of his age. It explains so much, he has a tremor in his hand and very poof peripheral vision. I'm still so angry at the school, this probably happened there, it should he been picked up. I spent so long explaining his needs and getting brushed off, I should have bypassed them altogether.

OP posts:

jollywhite · 09/12/2023 12:00

Poor child. Poor parenting.

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 09/12/2023 12:35

jollywhite · 09/12/2023 12:00

Poor child. Poor parenting.

How is looking after my child with a disability that has damaged his brain poor parenting?

OP posts:

homeeddingwitch · 20/12/2023 00:03

@jollywhite

Have you even read the thread? What are you talking about??

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 20/12/2023 17:15

It's a very odd post but let's not let it derail the good progression my son has made without the pressure of school.
Merry Christmas 🎁

OP posts:

homeeddingwitch · 23/12/2023 11:27

machanicalmovement · 20/12/2023 17:15

It's a very odd post but let's not let it derail the good progression my son has made without the pressure of school.
Merry Christmas 🎁

Yes good point.
So glad to hear that about your son.
Merry Xmas 🎄

lovelysoap · 03/02/2024 16:58

hi OP, how are you doing. I have a 4 year old still in nappies with various diagnoses and genetic testing so far has showed nothing. Nursery applied for an EHCP which was turned down. I have appealed as 90% of appeals are successful. I am keeping her off until the term after her 5th birthday as no legal requirement to send her in until then. Perhaps this is something you could do with you son. He doesn't need to be in a setting to get the EHCP done. If you want him in a setting he can go back to nursery. Schools work for the local authority not you and not the child. The system is not child centered at all. I would be very wary of forcing him in, dragging a child into school is cruel and damaging and can traumatise them. The fact they are refusing to allow him to be in nappies is just cruel and undignified and i am s sorry you and him are being treated like this. I would remove him and appeal the EHCP and use the time to get further reports and diagnoses or you could try a softer start at 9;30 am and leave him in until 12pm. Tell them if they wont change nappies then leaving him to soil himself is simply humiliating for him and neglectful so you will be taking him out at 12pm.

Keep things in writing and tell them don't ask. So sorry but school isn't your friend here. I use a SEN legal adviser for bits of work i need done that i am not sure of. I have spent a couple of thousand so far but the EHCP is until she is 25 years old. When you use a legal representative the services seem to get more polite and responsive.

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 05/02/2024 16:37

To be honest if felt very over whelmed recently and am worried my momentum has died. I'm seeing him and the children he went to school with and the gap is increasing. He's happier but I worry he will never catch up. He just can't manage the school system but really as bills increase both me and my husband need to take on more hours.

I'm feeling a bit out of my depth, I don't think I've made a mistake but doing this long term might not be a viable option.

OP posts:

lovelysoap · 07/02/2024 15:44

machanicalmovement · 05/02/2024 16:37

I'm feeling a bit out of my depth, I don't think I've made a mistake but doing this long term might not be a viable option.

Its normal to feel overwhelmed early on. Good homeschooling takes months to set up with the groups, activites and learning you want to do that suits you and your child. You say the gap is increasing with his peers. If he is disabled this will happen whether he is at school or not. Children develop at different stages. he may always be delayed, he might be more delayed if he goes to school. If you need him to attend a setting then pursue the EHCP and get him into a special school. An EHCP goes until he is 25 and it sounds like he will get one. If it means you can both work then any money spent on legal fees to get the right one will be more than worth it. You said he was being assessed so i assume he got one in the end. Can you ask for an early review and start looking at special schools. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, its hard work and very involved and i don't even do any myself i use about 7 different 'suppliers'.

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 09/02/2024 05:57

He didn't get his EHCP, that's part of the reason I pulled him. If I end up sending him back to school I certainly won't send him to his old one, as you say I would need to pursue a special school.To be honest I'll have a hard time trusting any school now.
I've loved what I have started with home education, I even found a small group that totally accepts us, I just didn't take into account the amount of medical appointments adding stress to our situation. Me and my husband have alternate work days, but it's a strain, it means we do very little together other than little ones appointments.

OP posts:

Thatsnotmycar · 09/02/2024 09:32

If the EHCP was refused did you appeal?

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 09/02/2024 14:28

The school was in the process of helping me appeal, but they were reluctant, it was like wading through treacle. I removed him before it was complete, at the time, where each day in the setting was causing him distress, I felt it was best.

OP posts:

Thatsnotmycar · 09/02/2024 15:38

You could still have appealed even though you deregistered. You didn’t need the school to help you appeal you can do it yourself. Request another EHCNA and appeal if the LA refuse.

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 09/02/2024 18:18

Thank you for the advice. Other than funding / evidence for a special school is there another reason to try and appeal at this point?

I'm just going through a patch of so much uncertainty, his appointments have hit home to me about how long term this will all be, I'm not sure we have the ability to do it all at home.

But then, we HAVE been doing it and he has been better because of it. Noone can give me a plan or a path for him and it frightens me doing it blind.

OP posts:

Thatsnotmycar · 09/02/2024 20:04

With an EHCP you can pursue EOTAS. Which can help with you are concerned about finances, needing to work, EHE maybe not being viable for you long term. EOTAS can provide far more support than the vast majority of parents can afford when they EHE.

homeeddingwitch · 11/02/2024 20:44

@machanicalmovement

Im sorry to hear you’re having a wobble.
I totally understand. As wonderful as home educating is in so many ways, and it’s is obviously doing your little one so much good, what no one says is that it can feel like a battle at times. Especially if your child has SEN and/or medical needs. Our society is not set up with a ‘village’. The village we so desperately need. Also home education, whilst getting more and more popular is still quite ‘fringe’. By that I mean you sometimes feel you live on the fringe of society in some ways.

Also you are left to just ‘get on with it’. Even though you deregistered because school could not meet your child’s needs, the authorities won’t help you in any way. That’s hard.

The other thing I’d say is that the comparison between your child and school kids never stops! I still have to bat away those ideas at times even though I’m years down the line. It’s normal and it’s to be expected in our school fixated society. It’s takes a lot of courage to focus solely on your own child’s development and to block out what society tells us is ‘normal’. I’d recommend you look into ‘deschooling’ your own mindset. There is lots online about this. It really helps.

Good luck and well done for doing such an amazing thing for your little one.

Original poster

machanicalmovement · 13/02/2024 15:08

Thank you I just feel a bit lost right now. At least my little one is happy.

OP posts:

homeeddingwitch · 14/02/2024 20:30

machanicalmovement · 13/02/2024 15:08

Thank you I just feel a bit lost right now. At least my little one is happy.

Right. And happiness is really underrated.

Something will shift and you’ll find your way again in time. Hang in there.

frenchnoodle · 10/04/2024 16:49

Hello OP I just wondered how you and your little one were getting on, have you looked into alternative education, special schools and so fourth?

I hope you are feeling less lost now.

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