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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Original poster

Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

696 replies

3Ddonut · 16/02/2008 15:19

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

OP posts:

MicrowaveOnly · 20/02/2008 19:24

discover life...There is a saying that goes.

The schools take all the credit for success, Failure they blame on the student...

made me laugh, as teachers the actual saying is as far as parents are concerned:

When pupils do well its down to them, but failure is due to poor teaching!!!!

yurt1 · 20/02/2008 19:24

I suspect Seeker means the type of play that goes on in playgrounds. I've seen video of children in free play playtimes (the talk was about how different playspaces encourage/discourage play) and there's quite a bit of grouping together and it's totally child organised. I know what seeker means although I could show it better than explain it.

Theodore'sMummy- ds1 has almost no ability to socialise with children- I would also have said that he had no friends and no ability to make friends until I bumped into a child who travels to school on the same bus as him at a Saturday out of school event and both him and ds1 were really and very obviously pleased to see each other. I was a) stunned b) staggered and c) really moved by it. It was only then that I realised that ds1 does make friends with children and is aware of other children even if it's slightly unconventional.

seeker · 20/02/2008 19:28

It's difficult to explain, jollydo, but I do think there is a difference. I did all the playing in the street, clubs and so on, but there was a dimention to the other children's lives that I didn't have. I watch my children with their friends and I am as sure as I can be that I missed out on something important because the other children had a huge area of shared experience that I didn't.

I must stress, I wasn't lonely, I had friends, I was invied to parties...but I was always slightly on the edge of things. My children are right there in the middle - and I think that's a good place to be!

TheodoresMummy · 20/02/2008 19:34

Hmm...I think this is exactly the type of behaviour/interaction that DS (and IMO many young children) could do without.

They are just too young to be fending for themselves.

seeker · 20/02/2008 19:41

I agree, theodoresmummy - but they won't be for long! I don't mean to be facetious - but children grow and develop so fast that you can make provision for a 4 year old, and by the time you've got it sorted out, she's 6, a completely different person!

My dd was a very fragile 4 year old when she started school - I was very tempted to HE her. But I would have ben making a decision for an 8 year old based on a 4 year old, if you see what I mean.

juuule · 20/02/2008 19:50

Seeker, I do wonder how much of that is down to personality. Some of my children who have been at school have also been the children on the edge and not quite included. One of them only began to take part around the age of 13+ and another still feels awkward at 20y. Both have been all the way through the school system. With the elder one I suspect that early years in the school system contributed to his awkwardness in social situations. Another of my children who has always been happy to dive right in has been part school-ed and part home-ed.

jollydo · 20/02/2008 19:51

It IS very interesting to hear your pov Seeker, thanks.

juuule · 20/02/2008 19:51

How can deciding to he at 4yo be making a decision for an 8yo?

SueBaroo · 20/02/2008 19:54

I know the kind of interaction you mean, seeker. I'm guessing that I come at it from a slightly different angle in that we decided to actively avoid that kind of age-peer mini-society.

Cam · 20/02/2008 20:07

Seeker I think your posts are very interesting. A child has recently joined my dd's school after being mainly home edded. She says she doesn't see the point of sport and playing netball, hockey etc. These views are lifted straight from her parents.She finds it hard to appreciate others points of views and is very self-centred.

My dd has always attended school but this doesn't mean I don't home educate her as well.

I see all of my child's life as being educated one way or another

seeker · 20/02/2008 21:06

What I mean by making a decision at 4 etc is that you can look at a 4 year old and make an decision about her education based on how she is now. The problem with this is that what she needs at 8 may be completely different. What she needs at 4.5 may even be completely different!

Cam · 20/02/2008 21:07

That is so true

motherinferior · 20/02/2008 21:08

Cam · 20/02/2008 21:09

And then there's the famous Year 2 thing, where the children start to really assert themselves and fall out with each other all over the shop - all part of the learning how to get on with other people process

juuule · 20/02/2008 21:10

But surely what you decide at 4 isn't fixed. Things can be changed.

juuule · 20/02/2008 21:12

Cam, do you really believe that the self-centred child you speak of would definitely be any different if she'd been to school?

Cam · 20/02/2008 21:12

But making a decision based on a very short phase of learning in your child's life seems to be fairly pointless

Learning to socialise and fit in is a process

Cam · 20/02/2008 21:13

Probably. Team sports v.important in my view.

terramum · 20/02/2008 21:15

Seeker...some interesting povs there re socialisation...but I am wondering the same as juuule about what effect personality has? Your descriptions of your childhood sounds a lot like mine & I went to school. I have always felt a little like an outsider everywhere, despite having friends...yet my brother who had the same schooling as me (apart from being 2 years below me) is poles apart from me - masses of friends, very much the joiner, seemed to fit in everywhere he went etc.

How can you be certain that school would have made any difference for you?

juuule · 20/02/2008 21:17

But what are you trying to fit in with? What is the point of spending years at school learning to fit into school life only to have it all end and have to adjust to life 'outside' if you like. Maybe a bit extreme but that is something that I've seen happen to school-leavers, my own among them. There is a period of adjustment on leaving.
I, personally, found life after school totally different to life in school.

Cam · 20/02/2008 21:20

Fit in with any community that I choose to get involved in

Necessary life skill imo

juuule · 20/02/2008 21:20

I avoided team sports like the plague at school if I could. I hated them. I didn't mind the individual sports but not the team stuff.
After leaving school (several years after) I found that I quite enjoyed some sports and joined in works sports activities.

juuule · 20/02/2008 21:22

As I said before I found my school 'community' quite different to the community outside school and I much preferred to be out.

Bubble99 · 20/02/2008 21:31

I read something recently. A HE mother was asked ..."Don't you worry about the socialisation aspect of HE?"

She replied..."It's OK. Every so often we tease him and nick his lunch money."

ShrinkingViolet · 20/02/2008 21:43

sport in school is fine so long as the teacher actually knows what they are doing (more of an issue at primary than secondary IME - DD1 had tennis lessons, but her (unqualified) class teacher tried very hard to "correct" her grip; friend's DS had played rugby every weeek since aged 5; got into difficulties when Year 5 teacher started takeing them for tag rugby with wrong techniques).
Team sports are easy (and relatively cheap) to source outwith school, and in a lot of cases, are coached to a higher standard.

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