Dd doesn't want to do her GCSEs

[timothytoeseatenbyaghoul]

Can anyone help please?

Dd is home educated, she has a tutor that gives her work weekly. Dd has decided she will not be doing her GCSEs so why am I bothering to pay for a maths and English tutor.

She's just turned 16 in oct. What should she be learning if there's no goal in sight?

If your teen doesn't follow the national curriculum what do they do?

Thanks

Giganticshark- she's not a "poor" girl. She will be married -have security -go on holidays and visit numerous country's multiple times a year-drive a nice new car and have a beautiful home. Just because she doesn't have a career doesn't make her any less of a human being.

Harrietpotterska- thank you you've explained it better than I have. She wants to do beauty (eyelashes- make up ec) she can do this with online/day courses so no need for qualifications.

I understand people don't get the culture because it's alien. What's important for you doesn't mean it's important for us.

My question was what does she need to Learn to get through the next 2 years of education?

I don't know why you bothered starting the thread Op.

Presumably you didn't start work until you were 18 (for Royal Mail, at least) - what were you doing from 11 to 18?

In the end, you don't value education and your daughter has picked up on that. She sounds as though she won't do anything she doesn't want to do - that is likely to be a big problem for her in the future.

I think if none of you see it as important then I do not understand why she should continue to learn anything that she has no desire to learn? If she fancies learning stuff she can, but there is no need if you have all decided it is not required and she will be married very soon.

I can’t profess to understand why she won’t be working unless self employed, when you yourself work, as do your other two children.

I can’t process to know much about the traveller community but have read from other threads on here many do prioritise their children’s education and give their children options, so maybe this is more about your child and your families preferences?

I suppose the main thing is having the opportunity to change her mind in the future. She's very young, and if she gets to say 30 and decides she wants a different job, it will be much more difficult for her to get her GCSEs. Almost every job I've applied for requires English and Maths GCSE, even ones you might not expect like retail. I really think you should encourage her to even just sit those two exams, just to keep the doors open to her.

Keep her ignorant and she can't choose not be a willing accomplice in her own oppression.

This is the kind of thing that gives Home Ed a bad name

Because the law states she has to be in education until she's 18 that's why I started the thread. I need to know what does she need to learn to prove to authorities that she is still in education? That's all I'm asking. This isn't an AMA thread I'm simply asking- what does she need to be "learning" to get her through the next two years? She has a tutor teaching her maths and English. She's not doing hers exams so I'm wasting money if she's no interest in learning.

Do you claim benefits for her OP?

Op, then she should pick some subjects she finds interesting and study them. Would it not be better to ask others in your community who have similar experience? You will not find many folks on here who feel the same as you do about education, nor many who would be comfortable with them not doing the exams they have effectively studied for if avoidable.

Life is hopefully long, circumstances change, and the more we equip our children educationally the more options it gives them. Your view is somewhat different so asking others of the same mind set you’d get a better answer.

You've said her husband will keep it. Have you considered what would happen if he chooses to be financially abusive and gives her no access to funds. Or even worse he is physically abusive and she needs to find an escape and have the means to support herself.

Unfortunately I have seen both situations with travellers I have gone across through work.

This having reliance on the husband can have serious implications for traveller women and leave them trapped and without options. It's heartbreaking to see women in this position.

Not having GCSEs doesn't mean there's no job is open to her as you've said but not getting work and having no experience if she needs a job later ALONG WITH no qualifications could leave your daughter in a difficult and tenuous position in the future.

For me she should get the basics at heart English and Maths just so she has some options and doesn't find herself trapped and completely reliant on someone else.

She needs to have sufficient maths skills to make sure she's being paid correctly for cleaning and covering her costs for beauty treatments. Similarly I'd say recognising potential scams is a good life skill.

She needs to be able to balance a household budget and understand that credit isn't free money, quite the opposite.

She needs to be able to critically evaluate what she reads on the Internet and consider the bias of the source. Not sure if Media Studies GCSE syllabus would cover this kind of thing?

I would rather have 2 useless GCSEs I didn't end up using than end up starring in my own tragic tale aged 30 where I had to support a family (death, sickness, accidents all happen) and my lack of GCSEs turned out to be a massive problem.

Sorry typo. That should say "keep her" not "keep it" which would be incredibly rude so thought I should correct this typo swiftly!!!

Well if she wants to be a self employed beautician, then can she do causes related to this, or look intoapprenticeships. She probably needs maths, at least to the level of charging the right amount, giving change, budgeting for equipment etc. And some amount of bookkeeping knowledge (though she could use an accountant). Maybe basic IT if she need to process invoices. Is there anyone in your community who is currently working in beauty? Maybe she could do some work experience with them to see what is involved?

You’re letting her down by not encouraging her to learn and take exams that could enable her to be independent.
Having a husband that supports her? Lovely. Until it isn’t. He can’t. He becomes unwell or loses a job or they split.
I would do everything I could to enable my daughter to be able to live life on her terms. If she marries a man who ends up abusing her? She’s stuck.

Ffs

As others have said it's also much much harder and more expensive to obtain qualifications after you are 19/20.

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

I don't have any qualifications and left school at 11 and have been a postie with royal mail for 12 years. So yeah you can work with nothing.

She won't be working, unless she is self employed.

And will be married by 18.

So again I will ask. What does she need to be learning if she has no plans to sit her GCSEs? Does she still need to learn maths and English even though it's pointless?

I hear that people sometimes use Maths and English outside of an exam environment. It could just be a rumour though

OP what are her interests? Does she like nature, history, fashion, art? Any tutor worth their salt should be able to put together an enrichment programme based around topics she's interested in, which could include elements of English and maths without sticking to the GCSE syllabus and which she might find more interesting.

Apart from that then budgeting is a really important skill to learn, as well as some education on how loans, interest etc works. And practical things like cooking (including the maths to be able to adapt recipes for different numbers of people & convert units) and some basic sewing, DIY, car maintenance, stuff like that. If she wants to run her own business doing beauty then basic bookkeeping would be useful.

If she isn't doing GCSEs then she needs to be studying things that she enjoys and/or things that will be useful to her as an adult.

If she intends to get married and become a mother then childcare might be a good choice.

Both my parents left school with no qualifications but the world is changing, and although I think it is slower I thing travellers lives are changing too.

Your dd will be an adult for a long time, she may want to work outside the home in the future. Forgive me if I have this wrong but my understanding is that most travellers are self employed so I would have thought knowing how to do books / book keeping / accountancy would be an asset.

|I would encourage her to take a few GCSEs because no one knows what will happen in the future and they may be needed later.

Education gives you choices, the more you have the more choices you have.

This is a recipe for abuse and misery.

I agree that she needs to learn 'real life' stuff. Such as budgeting -(feeding a family for a week), how banks work including interest rates, running a car or other vehicle including tax, insurance, maintenance.

Encourage her interests, there are lots of free online courses (particularly right now) where she could explore topics that she likes.

Read a range of books, magazines, journals.

She may not want or need a formal education but that shouldn't stop her learning.

No education to speak of and married at 18. Blimey. That’s depressing.

Op, as said, you will not find many people on here supportive of not educating girls fully. The reason we do this is to give them all the options.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter what they do, what path they choose as adults, but as parents we see it as our jobs to equip them as far as possible and ensure they have options and are able to make decisions on their lives as adults, so they have the best chance of happiness and fulfilment,

Not being supportive of fully educating a girl is always going to derail a thread, because as women, it is something we fought long and hard to have the right to, to have equal opportunities, to live our lives as we as adults choose.

I think you will get better answers if you ask other mothers who you know who feel the same as you do. It will be hard to find one on here, and they will be drowned out by the chorus of concern for your child if you do find one.

Thr over whelming majority will be concerned about the limitations and expectations for this girl, and as much as she may be happy long term, fifteen is far too young to make that decision in most people’s views, so equipping her to make her own decisions, and give herself options going forward is key.

Can you imagine if someone said “Pakistani girls don’t need qualifications”?
In some countries girls have died because they wanted an education and there you are turning down an excellent free education because “in your culture” girls get married young and spend their lives being drudges for men
Nothing wrong with choosing to be a housewife (or whatever term you want to use) but it shouldn’t be solely because you have no other options or are being made to
Give her a bloody chance to at least see if she wants a different life to yours OP

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

The girls don't work unless it's self employed beauty-cleaning so no need for them. They're husbands keep them.

But you work?! So why can't she?