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Home ed

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Dd doesn't want to do her GCSEs

272 replies

timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 11:15

Can anyone help please?

Dd is home educated, she has a tutor that gives her work weekly. Dd has decided she will not be doing her GCSEs so why am I bothering to pay for a maths and English tutor.

She's just turned 16 in oct. What should she be learning if there's no goal in sight?

If your teen doesn't follow the national curriculum what do they do?

Thanks

OP posts:
timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 16:45

And we (travellers) are supposed to be the lowest class.

OP posts:
PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 05/11/2020 16:47

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

Polka- I don't mean this to sound blunt- but don't you think I have, do you honestly think I've been flippant with it? She doesn't want to do it she's suffers with her mh. End of. But thanks.
I'm sure you have.

But sometimes for teenagers (especially with MH difficulties) it feels easier to not try something at all than risk doing it badly.

So sometimes explaining how hiding your head in the sand will give a worse outcome than just getting it over with is the best way to deal with it.

If she's adamant, the only thing left is to find something she's willing to do (and able to do without GCSEs). It sounds like there are a few things she enjoys, so good luck. Smile

NoSquirrels · 05/11/2020 16:47

Quite a lot of the entire point of ‘education’ is to not put people off being lifelong learners.

Being interested in finding out stuff, and having the right skills to do that, are the two things you need to be successful.

You don’t need maths GCSE or English GCSE per se. You need the ability to understand how maths can help you in real life and the willingness to jump through the arbitrary exam hoop if you’ll need the formal qualification for something specific.

At the moment your DD doesn’t need the qualification because she can’t see its importance. As long as she’s clear that one day she might need it, and it might be harder to start again then, she can make up her mind on it.

If she doesn’t do GCSEs I’d spend the tutor money on something else practical - accounting skills, cooking qualification etc. Go with her interests and see what she wants to explore.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 05/11/2020 16:50

(Just to clarify, I mean I'm sure you have talked to her, and that you weren't flippant.)

Youcunnyfunt · 05/11/2020 16:51

Because it's the law! Oh wait us travellers don't follow laws do we?!

Yes, it is, but it's not enforced! You've been told loads of times on this thread. There is no point worrying about it when it doesn't matter - I think you do care about your daughter and that's why you're asking here Smile You just really need to have a long chat with her and make sure any decisions she makes - which are hers entirely because it's not enforceable to make her do any exams - she makes with her eyes wide open to all her options.

Honestly, you won't get in trouble and neither will she. She just needs to have a think about what she really wants for herself. Talk to her about what you've gone through too.

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 05/11/2020 16:53

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

Polka- I don't mean this to sound blunt- but don't you think I have, do you honestly think I've been flippant with it? She doesn't want to do it she's suffers with her mh. End of. But thanks.
I understand that your culture doesn't value formal education - totally get that.

I think the piece that bothers folk is that sometimes, when a woman/girl relies on and is provided for by her husband, if hubby dumps her/leaves the culture/suddenly stops caring about pleasing his family and supporting his wife, it can be a nasty shock for a woman who has no qualifications and therefore limited ways to make money for herself.

Education is kind of like insurance against times changing, traditions changing, people betraying you, letting you down, etc. That's probably what most folk are thinking about when they criticize.

Hopefully your DD manages ok and is lucky in her future marriage(s). I agree with you that a happy life is more important than a striving life. It's just a bit of an issue sometimes when happiness is taken away by other people, through no fault of one's own.

In terms of her qualifications, I would see if she can't do a beauty apprenticeship, or even just start doing individual skill courses (nails, lashes, etc.; practical art courses where she can create a portfolio and perhaps start to sell her art, that kind of thing).

I would stop worrying about the child benefit/whether she is in "full time education" - that isn't important, what's important is giving her skills and qualifications that can empower her over her lifespan. Generally speaking, mental health is improved by the learning of skills.

Youcunnyfunt · 05/11/2020 16:55

Why?

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 05/11/2020 16:56

My question was what does she need to Learn to get through the next 2 years of education?

This does not make any sense. Literally! As home edders you would choose what she wanted to learn. If she's not doing GCSEs then she doesn't "need" to learn anything specific. What are her interests? Her dreams and aspirations? Her talents?

As an example, DS is 13 and home educated. He's sitting his maths GCSE this week and working towards another in June. Beyond that he does coding, he's learning 2 instruments and music theory, creative writing, art. He watches a lot of Ted Ed and reads a lot. Online philosophy and zoology- neither of these are offered at gcse but he loves them. He also spends time tinkering with things, taking them apart and rebuilding etc. But what he does it completely tailored to him - that's the beauty of home ed.

DelphiniumBlue · 05/11/2020 16:58

I would get her to do a qualification in some sort of accounts, so that she can manage a budget and maybe in the future do her own business accounts. It also makes her employable should the need ever arise ( eg needing to leave a violent husband, being widowed etc).

timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 16:59

Cake- what I meant to ask was what is classed as learning? Cooking? Housework? Shopping? I needed a list of what is classed as learning and what is not.

OP posts:
FasterthanBolt · 05/11/2020 16:59

I understand what you are saying. I think, like many PP have said, I would really try and encourage her to take English and Maths, just to have them under her belt. But, she can always do these at a later date if she wants to, she may just find it easier whilst she's young and has the energy to learn! If she does get into beauty or any other career she may well listen to an employer rather than her mum - I know mine probably would!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/11/2020 17:10

Again, if she wants tobgo on and do beauty why does she not just start on courses working towards that? She won't get into college obviously, but might be able to do other courses.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/11/2020 17:12

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

Cake- what I meant to ask was what is classed as learning? Cooking? Housework? Shopping? I needed a list of what is classed as learning and what is not.
Why? She has been home ed for how long? Surely you know this already? She's 16!
PeanutButterFalcon · 05/11/2020 17:16

I too was home educated. I did end up doing maths and English but only as I enjoyed it. I didn't want to do some subjects and my parents supported this. I also studied business which I enjoyed. Would this be something your daughter may be interested in, especially if she wants to work for herself? I agree at doing whatever she is interested in as this is what kept me going.

While I am it is true that you 'need' GCSE's to get a job but back then I wasn't in a position for this and I think without my families support it would of made it worse. No matter what happens if we have support we know we can talk and change our minds.

I recommend looking at relationships/sex Ed etc if applicable as I had no idea how to even use a condom.

And possibly IT, computing? So much is going online now and it's always changing. We also did advertising using IT which may be helpful for her.

If you think she may be dyslexic please get this assessed. The support from this is amazing and will have methods on how your daughter can overcome her struggles which will apply post Ed too.

Good luck, schooling is not for everyone and I think more people should know not everyone fits in the same box

YouKidsIsCrazy · 05/11/2020 17:26

Aren't kids suppose to be in education until they are 18 or am I missing something?

you're missing that it was your job to both provide her with an education and teach her the value of an education, and you appear to have done neither.
How long have you been "home educating" her? What have you taught her in that time?

Hoppinggreen · 05/11/2020 17:30

There was a Traveller lady on here not long ago desperate to leave her abusive husband. There were a number of reasons why she was too scared to but she also had no way of getting a job. She had married at 16 and never worked if I remember correctly. Any money she had had been taken from her by her husband and his family.
I think what most people are saying OP is that even if we don’t understand or appreciate the way some Travellers live it’s not a good idea for anyone to limit their options at just 16 like this.

ViciousJackdaw · 05/11/2020 17:32

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul I can see that you've found out what Mumsnet thinks about travellers! My advice to your daughter would be this: People will have all kinds of rotten opinions of you when they discover you are a traveller. Become the sort of woman who is able to make people realise they were wrong to think that way.

timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 17:42

Youkidiscrazy- your just rude. I'm not engaging with you anymore. Just plain rude.

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treeeeemendous · 05/11/2020 17:54

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul I just looked at my local college. Your dd could do a course in beauty or hair but she would need 4 GCSEs including English and maths. It looks like if she doesn't have E&M she would have to study them alongside the course.

justchecking1 · 05/11/2020 18:02

*She won't be working, unless she is self employed.

And will be married by 18.

So again I will ask. What does she need to be learning if she has no plans to sit her GCSEs?*

History of the Women's Rights Movement?

Bluntness100 · 05/11/2020 18:16

You’ve not really been an active traveller for at least twelve years, your husband is not a traveler, two of your kids don’t even interact with the community and youre a post person and have been for twelve years..

timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 18:24

Bluntness100- what the hell is "active" traveller 😂 it's not a tap. You can't turn it on and off.

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Embracelife · 05/11/2020 18:26

She needs to be learning about women s rights to education snd control of their own bodies snd lives.
www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/fawcett-sex-discrimination-law-review?gclid=CjwKCAiA4o79BRBvEiwAjteoYDlJycC6he99hdlLU5gNWCLALv6PzEY6Hs9uWJZQE62dGzoX23NNkxoCw-gQAvD_BwE

Sdg 5
www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/gender-equality/

She coukd read snd analyse "why does he do that" by lundy bancroft discuss snd analyse
She could study law
She could learn art and music
She doesnt hzvd to be resigned to bei g z beauth therapist or wife.
She could aim for uni
www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2013/06/25/first-traveller-student-at-cambridge-university-to-graduate-with-a-first-3856436/amp/

PandemicAtTheDisco · 05/11/2020 18:44

I've checked and she will be restricted in what training she can do without basic Maths and English qualifications. She will have to take them alongside the training and will only have access to the lowest levels of qualifications.

With popular courses I'd say she'd be less likely to be accepted on them. It puts her at a huge disadvantage.

timothytoeseatenbyaghoul · 05/11/2020 18:53

You don't need anything for paid day courses.

OP posts:
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