Dd doesn't want to do her GCSEs

[timothytoeseatenbyaghoul]

Can anyone help please?

Dd is home educated, she has a tutor that gives her work weekly. Dd has decided she will not be doing her GCSEs so why am I bothering to pay for a maths and English tutor.

She's just turned 16 in oct. What should she be learning if there's no goal in sight?

If your teen doesn't follow the national curriculum what do they do?

Thanks

Home ed atudents don't need to follow the national curriculum I believe.

Spend the next 2 years educating her in ways that will benefit her in her adult life. This may not be lists of kings or algebra or Shakespeare and that's fine. You know what will be of most help to a woman in your culture so focus on that.

Education is hugely important but no-one can force a teen into doing GCSEs. Kids from the travelling community can have a really tough time at school, there can be lots of bullying and discrimination which can contribute to mh issues and leaving school early. If you look at statistics, very few travellers access HE. The op just wanted to know what the law was so she could follow it. I personally think education is incredibly important but the op sounds like a supportive parent who will always be there for her daughter. There are always second chances and maybe volunteer work or an apprenticeship would suit her better. I don't think we should be attacking them for their culture, they already get enough hate and op came here for support.

Thank you Vetty

@Wonderrwall thank you so much for this comment it's made tear up travellers have no one to talk to outside of their own community and sometimes we just want to be private and ask others that are more clued up. I get that outsiders don't understand us or our views and that we don't share the same values. I didn't even want to bring up who I was I just wanted to get the answer and leave but some people get so personal. I don't agree with some other cultures values but I wouldn't dare question them because I see it's not my business and it's not affecting me.

So thank you for your comment it means the world right now

I can see that you've found out what Mumsnet thinks about travellers!

Much of Mumsnet would be concerned for a girl if anyone started a thread (without revealing their culture at all) asking what they should teach their 16 year old daughter who has opted out of mainstream education, sees no point in doing exams, has no intention of ever working as she will be married by 18 and that will be her career. It is nothing to do with whether she is a traveller or not, it is to do with he encouraging her daughter to limit her life choices to just one single choice, that of a wife as soon as she leaves school. We didn’t need to know she is a traveller to give opinions, the OP used the fact that she is a traveller to excuse her daughter’s lack of enthusiasm for education. Had she kept that info to herself, most people here would still have been expressing horror at the paucity of education, qualification and amibition this girl has.

I feel sorry for a girl who is expected to get married and be reliant on her husband as soon as she turns 18, regardless of culture.

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

You don't need anything for paid day courses.

So get her to sign up for them then. Again, if you know that, what is the point of this thread?

Get her clued up about finances OP - tax, interest rates, different bank account types, mortgages (if applicable) etc. That way she will always be able to understand and have control of her money and her options with that money regardless if she works or is a home maker.

Also, home skills - meal planning, budgeting, cooking, nutrition etc. So she can always be healthy and in control of her nutritional welfare.

Life skills many leave school without.

Critical Thinking. She should study that.

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul just looking at my local colleges entry requirements for beauty therapy, you need nat 4/5s (equivalent to GCSE I think, I'm in Scotland). So she will need qualifications for whatever she does. Maybe sitting down with her and having a talk about possible careers, I know you said beauty might be one, and looking up entry requirements, might be a good idea. Then maybe she'd be more motivated to work towards these GSCEs if they are needed for what she wants to do and not pointless.

This is such a depressing thread. Don't you have any interest at all in encouraging her to have ambitions beyond getting married at 18 and being kept by her husband? Is that really the sum total of this young woman's life in the twenty-first century?

I could weep, honestly.

Teach her how to protect this huge life changing sum of money she apparently has!!!!!!!!

Otherwise her husband will have it and do what he wants......

There are some great Btecs and she could do them at college. I know a number of travellers that went to college with me, as there is a big settlement nearby. They did ok and were very popular. Generally people were interested in their differences, but not unkind. There is a maths & English part to it so gives you some basic certification in that too.

I have a friend who's a traveller. She's taken her son out of education, to home school him. He seems very happy, I believe she does some writing stuff with him, but I don't think it would be anything like school lessons. I know in part that is the point, to follow interests. He helps her at the stables and is a kind young man. I just wonder how that will go once he turns teenager. She doesn't have a husband to keep her and so whilst I know she works a bit here casual stuff the state is keeping her rather than a man as she's not living in a settlement or moving about. It's all done with love, as she thinks it's best for him and I have bitten my tongue, what do I know about her culture. I think it's a shame. If he does want to sit exams in the future, she will have to pay to enter him surely?

My DH did badly at school and it's still preventing him getting a job now as they ask for 5 GCSEs A-C or the number equivalent. He got a few D's and E's and some applications online won't let you even get to the experience section if your qualifications don't match their criteria. I think it's harder now to get the breaks and the people working in the post room have their GCSES now.

I was waiting for the accusation that people are only being critical because they hate Travellers. Utter rubbish, people are being critical because a 16 year old child is being written off as only being fit for marriage and being “kept “ (hopefully) by a man. Her background is irrelevant and the responses would have been the same whatever her cultural background

Reading and practical everyday maths.

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

I would want to know that she wouldnt be ripped off as an adult. So if you think her reading, writing and maths skills are good enough to make sure she isnt scammed, can budget etc I would be happy enough. If she wants to go into beauty she may be working with chemicals such as hair dyes, I would want to know she understand percentages and measurements. She doesnt need the gcse to prove she does.

Education wise you need to keep evidence of her learning. I would look at classes and experiences that had paperwork you can keep as proof. A credible first aid course with certificate for example.

In fact first aid would be something I would insist she learned no arguements.

Then I would look at what she is interested in. If she likes art look at local art classes. Make up masterclasses are big at the moment if she is interested in beauty. Cookery and baking, basic mechanics even. Anything that promotes life skills.

Her world won't implode if she doesnt get gcses. It is a bit of paper. And I say this as an adult with a degree. But I would want her to go off into the world with the skills to live as an adult by herself if everything goes pear shaped.

Plenty of students go off to uni full of facts, but they cant work out a bus timetable, cook themselves a filling dinner or buy a weeks worth of shopping for £20.

A bit random, but I would also make sure that she could swim and would encourage her to do a life saving course.

I think for me as a mum of three who are now 21-28 I'd want to make sure a 16 year old had life skills and was able to move out of the community if she wanted to. Although I understand the reasoning for your saying she doesn't need work in the same way other people might do, what if she is unhappy and does want to make a change for herself? So learning and education feels important. Basic stuff like maths and English would be useful and budgeting, first aid, self defence type stuff, all of which were taught in schools, btw

I dont get the feeling the OP is actively looking for ideas to home ed or broaden or full her daughters education. But an idea what the minimum required is, given they don't think she needs any of the above.

I would think of she's got substantial savings then something like a financial management course could be useful, focusing on life skills and how to make sure that money lasts well. Learning how she can invest it wisely, including in her education in later years, or if she wants to build up a beauty or cleaning business when kids are older, would be useful. Education should be about opening opportunities, if she wants an alternative to academic education then focusing on making the most of life skills to have a healthy and financially stable family would be valuable.

I've no qualifications but it's done me fine

@timothytoeseatenbyaghoul

I think the issue is that times were different when you were 16. In 21st century Britain and during/after a world-wide pandemic the competition for jobs will be very fierce, especially for the unskilled and poorly educated. I don’t think it is fair or realistic to compare how easy it was for you to get a job with how difficult it will be going forward.

I realise that there are cultural differences at play, but along with most of the other posters on here, I feel so sad about the poverty of aspiration here. As a parent we all want the best for our children, and most of us get the impression that what you consider the best isn’t the best at all – marriage young, babies young, being beholden to her husband for everything, an unskilled, minimum wage job. These are certainly not the expectations I have brought my daughter up to have.

A lot of posters seem to have missed that your daughter has MH issues. Is it possible for her to spend the next year learning life skills, then getting her a tutor back to maybe consider taking maths and English GCSE at 17 instead?

It's hard to get a job with no qualifications thread days. And what is she and her split? Or she devides she wants a career after all? Not many 16 year olds have their whole future planned out and stick to it.

She needs to learn that what she thinks she wants now might not be what she wants in five or ten years time.